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"When you meet a man, you judge him by his clothes; when you leave, you judge him by his heart."

Russian Proverb

My day started off on what can only be described as the wrong foot.

When I called ahead to my first stop,my passenger's caretaker responded to me in a way that left me feeling as if I had just been attacked.

This was not the first time she and I had interacted this way which probably is why I reacted so defensively.

After ending our phone call, I called my program supervisor and gave her a bit of an ear full.

Still riled up, I reached out to one of my coaches,this one happened to be my brother, and asked for some coaching help around this incident.

After applying some coaching techniques, I was off to make my first stop.

As I drove along, I stewed a bit over how my earlier conversation had really pushed my buttons.

Self awareness is a marvelous thing.

Once I realized that I was overreacting to someone else's overreaction, I was able to calm myself down and understand what had just taken place.

Why did I feel attacked?

Why doesn't matter.

I did,and I hadn't been,and now I recognized that.

Now that I was aware of what had bubbled up inside of me, I was able to hit the reset button and move on.

We all have buttons that when pushed tend to set us off.

The great news is we also have reset buttons for just those occasions.

When my buttons get pushed I react.

I'm only human.

We all do.

Knowing how and when to hit the reset button is the important component.

I may not be able to predict or control when those set me off buttons get pushed.

I certainly can control when to hit the reset button.

And what a difference that makes!

What does it matter?

Late yesterday afternoon, as I was finishing my last run of the day, my daughter Becca called me.

She was having one of those "I think you need a Snickers" days.

Without rehashing each and everyone one of the multitude of things that were annoying her, suffice it to say she was less than a happy camper.

As she ranted on and on, barking about the challenges of the day, each description ended with her saying "what does it matter?".

She was not questioning the event itself.

She was questioning why she bothers to make the choices she does, trying to create the life that she wants.

What does it matter if I watch what I eat....the scale doesn't move!

What does it matter if I workout as much as I do?

The damn scale still doesn't move.

What does it matter that I get blood work done?

The doctor doesn't care to understand my lifestyle. He has pre-formed opinions on how he believes we should fuel and care for our bodies.

What does it matter that the computer program that supports our business doesn't address our needs?

The answer "we're working on it" is a really nice way of saying not our problem!

The bottom line for Becca yesterday was...WHAT DOES IT MATTER!"

It being the choices she makes for her life.

I didn't seem to have an answer for her in that moment.

As a matter of fact, the challenge to find an answer for her lingered with me all night.

That was until this morning when I received an email from a dear friend and fraternity brother.

He sent a note out to all of us, his band of brothers who have meant so much to him for over 45 years now.

It read:

Sorry to have to share bad news brothers. My cancer has spread. Continuing to be positive and will fight this with all medicine can offer. I appreciate all the prayers I can get (or positive thoughts or whatever is appropriate for you) Sharing here because so many of you I have known for so long and truly love as brothers!

What does it matter?

Because it does!

Because as the mug I gave out for the holidays this year said"You Matter!"

(If you did not get a mug from me and want one, let me know!)

Throughout Tom's battle with cancer, I have never once heard him ask "What does it matter?"

It all matters.

We all matter.

The choices we make matter.

When it,life and the way we choose to live it, no longer matters, than it's over.

We each matter ,each and every day.

I'll leave you with this bit of wisdom for the day.

94 year old Clara shared this with me as she nestled in to her seat on the way to the senior center this morning.

In response to my query of "how are you today" she replied"Another day and I'm okay....what's wrong with that?"

Clara gets it....she matters!

It all matters!

YOU MATTER!

What's next?

“A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.”

Yiddish Proverb

Well that didn't take long!

It was exactly a week ago that I shared with you how my plate didn't have a lot on it.

I had a couple of days where after handling the handful of tasks on my daily to do list, I found myself with free time to just kick back, relax and be, for lack of a better word, content!

That all ended this weekend.

Sometime between early Saturday morning and last night when I went to bed,I experienced a shift.

My mind kept wandering.

It was as if I was in a room with 100 doors and I now had to decide which one to open next.

Oh sure the room has a nice big comfy easy chair and a television for me to stare at.

But that's not good enough for me.

There must be something behind one of those doors that will lead me to my next adventure!

Which one should I open?

Should I start opening them all?

How do I know which one is the right one?

There is no right one. There is only the next one!

I knew that peaceful easy feeling that I had last week was only temporary.

I just didn't expect it to be that temporary!

I wonder what's next?

Shavua Tov!

Another How Am I Doin' Friday

"Your expectation directs your attention; 

and where your direction goes, 

energy flows, 

so goes the direction of your life"

~ Darren Hardy

It's another How Am I Doin' Friday.

And all is well in my world,actually all is great!

That is except for this God awful stiff back that I am dealing with,most probably a result of being stuck behind the wheel in horrific traffic yesterday for almost 3 hours!

As I sat here at my desk,pondering my menu for tonight's Shabbat dinner, it dawned on me that Passover begins in exactly 2 weeks.

In the past, that would have set off a plethora of bells,whistles alarms and sirens in my head.

So much to do and so many things to prepare.

Not so much anymore.

The numbers at our Seders have declined over the last few years.

The 20 plus days of the past are more like in the teens,and low teens at that.

I think this is the first time I have admitted that to myself.

We still turn the entire kitchen around.

What was once a daunting all day affair for the entire household,has been reduced to a chore that Max and I can knock out in under an hour.

As for getting the house up to par,the cleaning people will be here bright and early Sunday morning.

I am so on top of my game , that I even remembered to ask them to help me in cleaning out the fridge and stripping apart the stove.

Before they get here, I will have already used the self cleaning feature on the oven (Susan hates the smell so I will have to do it while she is at work!).

Even shopping for the holiday will be dramatically less stressful although somehow I will still manage to spend an unholy amount at the grocery store.

Probably the most challenging part of this whole process, will be figuring out a menu.

Between the vegetarians,carbless,no fats,"I don't eat green things" and other assorted restrictions that I am presented with, it becomes a real test of my ingenuity to put out what I would consider a respectable presentations.

Ooooooh...I just realized how sad I am about all of this.

Passover used to be a very exciting time of year for me.

That feeling just is not there.

There is no anticipation.

There is no fervor.

There is no excitement.

It all seems so matter of fact.

That's really sad to me.

I hope that in the next few days that changes. After all,Passover only comes around once a year,and those years seem to be piling up,heading towards a time that I don't want to ever acknowledge.

I hope you have a peaceful weekend

Shabbat Shalom!

More on CONTENT

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.”

 Mark Twain  

(American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910)

Yesterday and today have been relatively stress free days.

There has not been much on my plate to accomplish.

The few things that I did need to take care of were significant yet easy to attend to.

There is a tiny voice inside of me that wants to ask myself "is that it? Is that all you have for the day?"

Thankfully the louder voice is saying "Good job David, enjoy the rest of your day!"

I am not sure just how long this can or should continue to be the norm.

For the time being , I am okay with not adding any undue pressure to my existence.

One thing I do know, it is inevitable that some time in the near future, that tiny little voice will start to become louder.

In my world:

CONTENT= LAZY!

LAZY= FAT!

FAT=SLOVENLY!

SLOVENLY=DISGUSTING!

All of this is unacceptable.

It goes against my foundational principle that I am here for a reason and that reason is to make a difference.

When I become CONTENT,I will no longer be making a difference and hence (yes I used the word hence!) I have no reason to be here.

Done is done, and I ain't done yet!

April Word of the Month

“The only thing more important than who you are is whom you’re becoming.”

~ Stephen Pierce

April Word of the Month

CONTENT

con·tent ²  (kən-tĕnt′)

adj.

1. Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.

2. Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: 

n.

Contentment; satisfaction.

This month's word of the month CONTENT, actually came to me in mid March and I have been sitting on it and stewing over it for a couple of weeks now.

Plain and simple, I am not content.

I want more.

I want to do more.

I want to become more.

I want to be better.

I could go on and on listing all of my wants.

I see no need to do that.

I also want to acknowledge just how blessed and fortunate I am having all that I do have and being able to lead the life I do lead.

Still, I would be lying to you if I said I was CONTENT.

In my mind, content is the equivalent as saying I'm done.

One thing I know, is that I am certainly not done.

I know this because I woke up this morning.

Another day....not done yet!

There are days in my life when I actually permit myself to pause and reflect on all that I have and all that I have accomplished.

Well maybe not whole days but maybe a couple of hours in"a" day, okay minutes,in that day.

The rest of the time however, I find that I am always searching for more.

More what?

Anything!

Everything!

Just more!

It can be exhausting!

Is this a character flaw or an admirable trait?

That seems to be a great question.

Whichever it is, I have chosen to use the month of April to explore my relationship with CONTENTMENT.

This can become interesting!

Or very very uncomfortable!

No Foolin'

"Life just is. Whether we perceive life as hard, pleasant, challenging, exciting, stressful, or otherwise is a result of our perceptions and our way of thinking."

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There will be no April Fools Day jokes or pranks from me today.

I guess maybe I'm just not in the mood for those kind of antics.

It's a gorgeous day here, a little chilly but bright and sunny with a fairly consistent breeze blowing.

Why spoil the ambiance with practical jokes?

In the world of "I've go to get this done." there's not all that much on my plate today. There were a couple of emails that had to go out.

Done.

I had to cancel an appointment scheduled for Friday.

Done.

I had to hit the supermarket for tonight's dinner.

Done.

And I wanted to write to you .

Soon to be done.

Other than that, the only"must do" for the rest of the day is my afternoon run and make the aforementioned dinner.

The only other thing that I can think of for the day is to continue having an awesome one!

I hope you are having one as well!