Turn up the music......

I had some time to kill before setting out on my morning run today. While sitting in the bus, I was fiddling with the radio when I cam across a local college radio station.
The music they were playing was fun and uplifting so I decided to leave it on as I went about picking up my passengers.
Normally I drive in silence, concentrating on the task at hand.
The addition of music to the trip seemed to lift everyone's spirits on the bus.The whole experience served as a reminder to me as to just how integral a part of my life music is.
Each song seemed to carry me to another place and often another time.I could see that it had a similar effect on those around me.It's almost as if these melodies are the background orchestration to the movie of my life.
Unlike anything else, music seems to set the tone and color of my world.
Like exercise and eating healthy, I often forget how important the addition f music is to my life.
It elicits happy memories,it energizes me as I go about my daily routine and it reminds me of memories, some happy some sad, that made me the person I am today. I hear a song, my mind sees a face. A tune comes up and I am transported to some time in my past when I also heard that song.
The more I listen, the more vibrant my memories become and the more engaged I am.
Every now and then I find myself turning up the volume , making it easier for the music to become part of me. 
Eventually I find myself humming along or even singing some of the words. Before long, that certain song that really hits home comes on and I am crooning at the top of my lungs without a care in the world as to who may be listening.
Music is an amazing wand wonderful part of my world. It seems silly how often I go without it. 
Tonight Susan and I will drive out to Scranton PA to hear the debut of an orchestral arrangement composed by a friend of mine. He originally wrote the piece for trumpet and piano to perform at his senior recital some 41 years ago.
Tonight, over 4 decades later, his dream of turning it into a full orchestration will come to life. I was honored to be there 41 years ago and I am ecstatic to have the opportunity to be there tonight.
Something about the music......
It just makes life better!
Shabbat Shalom!

There are times I forget just how far I have come on my Journey.What is now my new normal is the way I am.
A customer challenged me in an email yesterday, grousing and complaining about this that and the other thing.
I waited 24 hours before responding , and in a very carefully and thought out manner ,I tried as best as I could to answer his remarks in a positive , compassionate and understanding way. Minutes later, he shot back with yet another assault and more reasons why I was misguided.
It was then that it dawned on me that no matter what I did or said,he was going to be angry at the World. The World was conspiring against him.
Manufacturers,not just mine, but everyone he deals with, doesn't understand how hard it is for him to compete in today's retail environment.
There is no way for the little guy to compete in today's market.
The playing field is uneven and he is surely getting the short end of things.
My customer is completely immersed in victim mode.
I can remember what life was like when I dwelled in that cursed house.
Woe is me was my theme song.
In my eyes, no one could imagine the crosses I had to bare and the weight of the load I had to shoulder.
Of course life was unfair, particularly towards me.
All of these iniquities gave me permission to fail.
I didn't stand a chance.
I could never win.
Life was stacked against me.
Like I said,it has been a long long Journey. It is a Journey that continues daily.
That victim thing..... it's a road I run away from never mind shy away from.
It is a horrible place to be.
As for my customer, well, I'll send him another offer at another time. 
Until then, all I can do is move on and onward.

I have been on a roll all day,handling one thing after another.It's just about 4pm and before jumping into something new, I decided to gift myself with some me time! Actually it is some me and you time.
The Universe opened a door of opportunity for me which has allowed me to move through my day and even the next few days without encountering some of the challenges that had been looming in my immediate future.
In turn, I was able to take on some priorities that until today had been either placed on the back burner or in some cases completely ignored.
Without getting too far ahead of myself, I made some choices,incremental choices at best, that can be nurtured and followed up on.
These are not necessarily 1+1=2 types of equations. They are a step forward.
We all know you can not get to step 2 without completing step 1. 
It is a fact. 
If you skip or overlook a step in the process, you are destined to starting over, retracing your steps or even failure.
What may seem or feel like an insignificant item on the long laundry list of life, is there for a reason.
I am feeling pretty good about the choices and decisions I made today. So good that I am considering walking away from my desk for the day. 
Tomorrow is another opportunity. So far today has gone into the win column.
I have never been one to be "satisfied" with what I have accomplished.
Maybe I should try it out?
When G-d created the Earth in 7 days, each of them had an end. And at the end of each of those days he looked about and saw what he created.....and he observed that it was good!
Today was good!

Pass me the rock.....

I have a different view of life today,after writing last Friday that I was not feeling great.I had been observing others around me and trying to compare my life to their lives. That will never be productive. In a note from The Universe early last week, I was reminded that if I were to walk in another man's shoes, I would never be able to comprehend the view.
This week the college basketball season will come to an end. After the rigors of a long season, a new NCAA champion will be crowned. It's a big deal for those who follow basketball.
At one time in my life, I loved playing basketball. Seriously, it was my favorite sport to play. I know, you are probably having a tough tie wrapping your head around the vision of a 5'10, 250 Jewish white boy being a hoops fanatic. It is the truth.
I loved playing the game. I am not here to tell you that I was an all-star. Forget any images of me soaring to the hoop. t never happened. Nor can I tell you that I had a dagger for a jump shot . AT best when I was having a good day, I could drain a few from deep in the left corner .
Still I loved to play the game.
Surprisingly, when I had the opportunity to get on the court,the playing field always seemed to level out. I certainly won many more games than I lost.
You may ask how could that possibly be?
Well it's because I worked hard at it. My defense was not tenacious but it was solid.My hands were always up and I was rarely out of position.Occasionally,if my opponent was careless, my hands were active enough to strip him of the ball and often, I would block a shot, not because of my leaping ability but because of my timing and positioning.
The one thing I did as well as anyone on a court is never quit.
I never dogged it. I never didn't get back on defense. I never didn't fight for positioning for a rebound and I certainly always busted my butt to get back up court on offense. 
There was also the occasional devastating pick.
(There' nothing like seeing some hot shot sitting on the floor wondering how he got there!)
I loved playing the game and when I had the opportunity to get into a game,I always played above my perceived ability.
The trick for me was to get in the game.
Same goes for my life.
I know I am not the most gifted.
I am not the fastest, the smartest, the most skilled or the most talented.
What I am is as hard a worker as you will ever meet .
I have an unbelievable grasp of how to play the game,the fundamentals and more important than anything else, I will never quit!
Check!

When I got back from the gym this morning I turned the coffee pot back on and sat down at my computer hoping to take advantage of the quiet time before my Sunday began. Today would be a perfect day for us to hang around the house. There is ,as always, cleaning to be done ,and I could use a few hours at my desk to clean up the current project I am working on.A day like that would really help to set the foundation for the upcoming week. 
As I started to write,I hear a rustling in the kitchen. I looked up to see that Susan was already showered and dressed and ready to get our Sunday under way, which means,getting our butts in gear and heading out to South Jersey. 
Oh well, so much for a productive quiet day at home!
Not that this was not the plan for the day all along. 
I had just gotten myself caught up in the "wouldn't it be nice" alternate reality that exists.
Yes, it does exist. I do, we do, have choices.
And we choose to do our part by driving down to visit with her parents on Sundays.
It is not always convenient. We find ourselves working around their not our schedule. 
Lunch at the facility is at noon and lasts about an hour. There is no sense in our getting there before lunch,so working backward, from the end of lunch, the ideal time to leave North Jersey  is 11 am. 
I get back from my workout at 8:30. 
Do the math. There are 2 1/2 hours in between my return and our departure. 
Writing takes me about an hour. 
Having just come back from the gym, a shower is in order.
Grabbing a cup of coffee,I am dressed and ready by say 10.
Now we have 1 hour until we hit the road .The next 8 hours are consumed by our visit and the travel time back and forth. Preparing and eating dinner and before you know it ,it's well after 8 pm and Sunday has vanished. I am not a big fan of starting new projects at 8 o'clock at night.
It's all about me management. (Note I did not say time management). Time as we know is constant. I am the one that must make adjustments. 
I am sure that once the weather breaks, Sunday mornings will include cutting the grass and cleaning up the yard. 
My use of the free time I have will be much more productive. In the meantime, I will continue to tread water until I figure it out and make the adjustments that will help me feel less frustrated by my inability to use this valuable resource ,time, effectively and efficiently.
For now, I'm going to go grab that cup of coffee, take a shower, get dressed including making sure that I put on my happy face !
Shavua Tov!

Not feeling great......

This morning as I was getting dressed I realized that it was yet another "how am I doin' Friday" and all I could think of was"not great!"
This bothered me as obviously I just walked right through the front door of that cursed house of comparison.
When I say not great, I am not speaking of health issues. Other than my foot which is still a challenge, I feel fine.
I am speaking of the more general state of my being.
And it felt not great this morning. 
Everything in my life is okay. 
Everything in my life is just fine.
Everything in my life is good.
Nothing in my life feels great!
That may sound a bit confusing or even petty on my part. 
That is the cursed house I have walked into.
I am watching as many around me who I work with or interact with are experiencing great and instead of appreciating all that is good in my life, I am trying to find great.
It is foolish on my part.
Entering this cursed house is not a smart plan.
Yet I can't seem to stop myself!
I want the excitement of great.
I want the challenge of great.
I thrive under the struggle and effort it takes to have great.
And the best I seem to be able to muster is okay....good....fine.
I remember in my younger days talking to a female friend after a "hot" first date.
She described the kiss good night as okay.
I remember her commenting that if the first kiss was "okay" there probably was not much hope for what the next one would be like!
I guess I am being a bit near sighted.
Pleasant is ....pleasant.
Nice is ....nice.
Good should be good enough!
Still all I can seem to think about is that I am not experiencing great!
And I am so wrong when I do that.
Tonight we will have our weekly Shabbat dinner.
Once again, there will as always be a couple of chickens accompanied by a number of side dishes.
We will do as we do every week,. We will make kiddush over the wine and say hamotzi over the bread. The dogs will get their little treat of challah and we , the entire family will enjoy another Friday night meal together. It's very nice.
Or is it?
You did hear me say that we do this every single week. Not once in awhile. Not now and again.Not when we have the opportunity. We do this every Friday night and have done this every Friday night since Sara was about 3, some 26 years ago.
If that doesn't constitute great, then maybe I need to take a good hard look at what is really important in life!
Shabbat Shalom!

Is Silence really golden?

We all grew up hearing that Silence is golden.I know I certainly heard it over and over again. I also heard "no news is good news". Well I have to tell you, I am not sure that either of these old adages is completely true. In fact, in my experience, they are true at best about 50% of the time.
There are times when silence is in fact a wonderful thing. The quiet time in between the often chaotic times can be a blessing. That is for a while.It has been my experience, that when things get too quiet,something has gone amiss.
There are time when the much appreciated quiet of down time, becomes a silence which creates a void or a vacuum. It is in this empty space where things often go awry.
The silence becomes deafening!
When we were kids ,we would often play in the basement. I am sure my parents appreciated the quiet time, but every once in awhile they would make sure to check in with us. When things would get too quiet, you can pretty much bet they knew we were up to something no good!
The same can be said about many if not all of my relationships today.
Whether with friends, family, colleagues, vendors,customers or any other associations, the quiet times have at best a 50/50 chance of being golden. All too often silence makes me suspicious.That may sound cynical, however my history shows that it is true.
No news is good news!
Uhhh....not always!
Sometimes no news is just that.....no news. Rarely is no news good news.
Do you know what is good news?
Good news!
This is why I like communicating.
I like to check in with people on a regular basis. The void created when I do not check in is , in my history, all too often the Devil's playground!
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder....or the relationship grow deeper. Absence creates opportunities for bad things to happen.
Silence is golden....no news is good news...well, not in my book.
In my world,I take care of business.
I leave little to chance. 
I tend to my garden.
When I don't, trust me , more than just weeds are bound to appear!

Nothing good comes from doing nothing!

My pillow felt really comfy this morning. The blankets were wrapped around me hugging me and imploring me to stay in bed.It's safe to say,today I could have gone for a couple of more hours of shut eye.
And in the past, even if I had dragged my sorry tail out of bed, I probably would have thrown on my sweats and found myself lazing around instead of embracing the day.
I no longer have that option. I have a job, albeit a part time one,however a job nonetheless.
It means I have a responsibility. 
It means I have a purpose. 
It means I made a commitment.
To be perfectly honest, this part time gig hardly covers our grocery bill each week. 
You may ask, why do I bother then?
Simple, my job practically covers our grocery bill each week!
That's awesome!
It's a gift that I cherish.
And one that I am not willing to jeopardize by laying in bed in the morning.
It is the foundation on which the rest of my day is built.
My day has to start somewhere and behind the wheel of my bus is as good a place for it to happen as any.
Here's what I know.....nothing good comes from doing nothing.
(Hey.....I think that's a new quote!)
I'm telling you , that felt very Will Roger's esque!
 

Another "Woe is me" day?

If Saturday's have become "me" days, Sundays have become "Woe is me!" days.Basically, they are lost days to me.Immediately after my morning workout, Susan and I jump in the car, spend 4 or more hours with her parents at their new place and then drive the hour and a half back home where we first have to start planning and making dinner.By the time I have a minute to myself, it is nearing 8 o'clock, hardly the time of day that I want to get started on anything new.That is how my Sundays go and that's that!I am not complaining, just stating the facts.
Today is the first official day of Spring.The sky is bright and sunny.The day started off with a bi of a chill and has warmed to a pleasant 45 degrees. Tomorrow it may reach into the 50's.
Mother Nature is letting us know that change is in the air. The Universe, it seems, also had a message to share with me today. From the gitgo, my day has met challenges.
Everything thing I attempted today seemed to meet with some degree of challenge that on most days just does not exist. The day started with my glasses not being on my desk. They are always on my desk. I leave them....you got it.....on my desk. If I take them from my desk, I return them to my desk. They were just gone today!
There also was a problem with Time-Warner, te cable company. any number I tried calling in their system was met with the message"all lines are busy , pleas try your call again later". All of my passengers live in buildings where Time Warner is the only ISP , making it impossible to call any of them this morning. It added almost 40 minutes to my run today.
These are just 2 exmples of the "oh rally" kind of things that I found myself dealing with today.
Instead of getting angry or frustrated or annoyed, I used this as a reminder that t maybe just maybe The Universe wa telling me that I might want to be mindful of everything i am doing today.
 Don't rush. 
Don't stress.
Don't panic. 
Be mindful. 

There is no need to hit me over the head more than once!
I got the message.
Don't sweat the small stuff.....be mindful of them!

Saturday is me day.......

Saturday's have become catch up days for me. Sometimes I find myself catching up on housework, sometimes I find myself catching up on a project,sometimes I find myself catching up on paperwork and emails and sometimes I find myself just catching up on catching up on some rest.
It is the one day of the week that is void of routine,other than the very start of the day when I run through a small list of "to-do's" including emails, preparing a lunch for Susan and driving her to work (and picking up her weekly bagel treat!).
After that ,it's usually a quick run to the bank and then the rest of the day is mine. That is until closing time at the shop when more often than not I jump in and help out with the cleaning.
In the 9 or so hours in between I have a solid block of time to "clean up" whatever needs cleaning.
Normally I try and focus on 1 specific area. Sometimes it's house cleaning ,and yes,as I look around , this place could surely use some help!
With my ankle still nowhere near healed,that is not an option for me.
Soon Spring will be here and a number of these Saturday's will be used to clean up the yard. Again between my foot and the snow outside, that will not be on today's agenda either.
3 weeks from now,Passover will be here and I am sure that on the Saturday preceding the seders I will be saving up on my physical activity knowing that Sunday will be a day when I will have a ton of things to accomplish.
Today, I see an opportunity to catch up on a lot of loose ends right here from my desk. There are business emails to go out. There are orders to be processed,there are people I want to reach out to and there are 2 desk calendars (I always have the current month on my desk top and the next month on the side return attached to my desk) that can be planned out.
One of the things that has helped to clear this "me" time has been the stabilizing of my finances. For years,okay decades,the stresses of financial pressures have completely robbed me of the ability to appreciate or even consider carving out a space in time like this. For the first time in a very and I mean very long time,I seem to have a plan ,not a reactive but instead a proactive plan,which has alleviated much of the stress I have lived with for so long.
In the past, I would never have had the nerve to even speak about this so openly.
Heaven forbid I would be opening the door to yet another setback merely by acknowledging that I had some breathing room for a moment.
I no longer believe in jinxes like that.
Understanding that the Law of attraction works in all directions, if that is what I believed would happen, then of course it was inevitable it did.
I get it now.
Now I have a plan. The plan says follow the steps. The plan says keep building upon success.My mentor Darren Hardy reminded me of an idiom I have heard often:
"You can never own success,only rent it.....and the rent is due every day!"
I mentioned earlier that my finances are stable. That is a qualitative, not a quantitative statement.
By improving the quality of the condition, I can then set about working on the quantity aspect.
So what has changed? 
Another easy answer......me!
I stopped scrambling. 
I stopped struggling.
I stopped forcing.
I stopped hanging on.

I simply let go.
Once I let go, it freed me up to start picking up pieces, building blocks if you will.
One at a time.
Not everything at once,just enough to allow me to pick up the next piece and the next piece and then another piece.
Make no mistakes, I do not have all of the pieces . I am not sure that one ever does.
I do know that by paying attention and nurturing the garden I have planted, new seedlings will blossom. It's nature's way. It is a Universal truism.
It is as evident as the laws of nature.....and the laws of attraction.
Shabbat Shalom!

How am I doing on this How Am I Doin' Friday? 

Well,my foot is on the mend. The pain is now isolated and with that I believe a regimen of icing over the weekend I will get this swelling down and be able to heal.
It's St. Patrick's Day. 
The binge drinking accompanying this holiday always concerns me.I am not a drinker myself. I guess I had my fill when I was younger.Quite honestly, even back then,I rarely ever hit the levels of intoxication that I see and hear about all to frequently.
I just don't get it or understand it.
I am sending out good thoughts and hope that the Universe will hear them and keep everyone safe.
I have had some more thoughts inspired by this weekend's Happiness Summit.
When I first started training to become a life coach,we worked with pier coaches,each of us learning how to use the resources we were acquiring. 
We each would don our coaching toolbelt and take turns in the role of either coach or client. My first pier coach asked me "what do you do for fun?". He spent 6 weeks trying to elicit an answer from me on that.
6 years later, he still would have a difficult time getting an answer from me.
I remember skating around the issue by talking about what gives me joy.
He didn't seem interested in hearing that and week after week,pounded away as if he was trying to chop down a giant redwood armed only with a pocket knife.
It was an exercise in futility.
For what ever reason, he believed with out fun in my life, I could never be happy.
Fun is an activity. Happy? 
Oh yeah....that's a choice!
To be honest,joy is more important to me than fun.
And there is much that brings me joy.
One of the most joyous things to me is progress. 
Seriously.
When I am working on a project,and can see it start to take shape, it brings me great joy.
I happen tpo be working on some spreadsheets lately. As the columns fill out and a picture begins to appear before me, I feel joy.
I feel joy in accomplishing something, particularly when that something becomes bigger than I imagined it when I began.
I have a colleague who stopped working over a decade ago. He didn't retire. He was dealing with some "demons" in his life and basically dropped out of life.
Fortunately he had the financial resources to weather that stormy period and then the period that came once the demons were conquered. We would speak no less than weekly ,at times daily.
Lately he has re entered the game of life. He has found something to hitch his wagon to. The phone daily or weekly phone calls have become few and far between. Maybe once every couple of weeks or once a month.
Guess what,? I find joy in this.He has his mojo back. 
In the past when his name appeared on my phone I thought "now what?". Today when I see hhs name, I smile and look forward to hearing what he has been up to. 
Another friend who has been out of work for a long period of time also reached out to me. While nothing concrete has come up for him, his last email was filled with a sense of forward motion. I can't wait to reach out and speak to him. I am confident more joy will be felt!
Another friend, an old college buddy and frat brother also had some exciting goings on to share with me this week.
Even more joy!
I love activity. 
I love growth.
I love the process.
It all brings feelings of joy to me.
I have no idea why.
It just does.
In a few days Spring will officially arrive. Spring....the very beginning of the growing season.
Maybe that's why I am feeling so much joy today.
Could be!
Shabbat Shalom!

Happiness is........

This weekend my brother will be attending the World Happiness Summit in Miami.Personally, I'm not sure how this ended up in Miami when Orlando and Disney World (billed as the World's happiest place) is right up the road!
Nonetheless, Miami it is.
Imagine...a happiness summit.
All sorts of leaders,gurus,and other individuals will be gathering together for a weekend of exploring and explaining and experiencing happiness. 
The whole concept seems fascinating to me.
Please don't misconstrue my fascination as a desire to attend this event.
I can not imagine participating in a happiness summit at this point in my life.
Some day? 
Maybe?
Today?
Not something or somewhere you would expect to find me at.
It did grant me pause this morning to think about the concept of happiness and what makes me happy.
What does make me happy?
That's an easy one.
I make me happy.
No one else can make me happy.
Nothing external makes me happy.
Happy I have learned,thanks in no small part to my brother, is a choice and one that I make a lot more often nowadays than in the past.
I would be less than honest if I said that it is a choice I choose daily.
There are days when I revert to the "old" David and get caught up in the cursed house that once held me captive.
I can say that those days happen less and less and that more times than not,I find myself choosing happy.
Are there things that bring me joy?
Of course there are.
Are there people who bring a smile to my face?
Absolutely!
Are there events ,movies,music,foods or other stimuli that lift my spirits?
Sure there are!
However, when it comes to being happy,that is always my choice.
The last few days the weather has been miserable. I heard a lot of complaining about it.
It's an atmospheric challenge.....it has nothing to do with my happiness!
My foot has been killing me since late last week. It has been painful and more than just uncomfortable. Imagine how miserable I would feel if somehow I let that pain and inconvenience determine my happiness?
My foot has nothing to do with happy.
In coaching we often say pain is inevitable,suffering is a choice. The same goes for happy!
I certainly didn't choose pain, however I still had the option of choosing happiness.
I do wish I could be a fly on the wall in Miami this weekend.
I have this picture in my head of different schools of happiness people with their placards or booths or buttons all grouped together.
 On one side of the room,all of those who subscribe to the"don't worry ,be happy" group.
In another corner,the "happiness is...." group.
Maybe my brother and his "Choose Happy" platoon will have their own section.
Walgreens whose slogan is "at the corner of happy and healthy" might even be a sponsor!
Like I said, the whole concept is fascinating.
Until recently happy was not viewed as a science.
Make no mistake, it is that and a whole lot more today. 
If you doubt me,just take a peek at what is going on in Miami this weekend and who is attending this shin dig.
It's a big deal and getting bigger.
All of this makes me smile.
 It brings me joy.
 It gives me hope.
 And I make the choice to be happy!

March Word of the Month:
Divine
addressed, appropriated, or devoted to God or a god; religious;sacred:Why divine?
 I had actually written this word down in mid February when I learned that my Rabbi would be bestowed with the title Doctor of Divinity.
It's mid March and I had yet to launch my word of the month.
It has been on my desk top calendar ,circled in red,highlighted in yellow,and yet I have done nothing with it.
( I should probably ask myself why?)
No matter...it's here now!
Yesterday's snow storm came with some challenges and some blessings.
My morning bus run was canceled for obvious reasons. 
I was able to sleep in a bit which was a treat.
My foot is fine....until I stand up!
So shoveling was almost completely out of the question 
(yes.... did try!)
Today I get another day off from driving as they have yet to uncover the busses from the piles of snow!
I have my tomorrow run already. It's a full load and I am sure that the snow will add a level of challenge to my day that will be interesting!
Today,I am basically a prisoner in my own house. 
The snow removal team,Max and Susan, dug out 2 of our 3 vehicles. Mine is still snow bound and since they both went to work,I am suck here.
Not that I have anywhere to be. I just can't get there even if I wanted to.
The good news is I cleared my desk yesterday (it had gotten away fro me recently).
I have caught up with a lot of the dangling loose ends and can now concentrate on moving forward once again.
My quote of the day was from Jim Rohn :
"If you are not willing to risk the unusual,you will have to settle for the ordinary"

I have 3 emails on my agenda for today. All of them will be viewed as unusual,or at least appear to be well out of the proverbial box.
I personally don't believe in the expression "thinking outside of the box".
I don't even know if there is a box. We tend to operate in a small arena that is comfortable to us and acceptable to others.
In reality, the field of life which we play on has no boundaries and is endless.
Outside of the box?
 No
Unusual? 
Most definitely!
Willing to accept ordinary?
No way!
Not at least without attempting to explore the great unknown!
Maybe with some divine intervention, my proposals will be met with a willingness from others to attempt to move away fro  doing the ordinary.
All I can do is put it out there!

What a pain!....

Yes it has been a few days since I last wrote.I have been dealing with a bum wheel (bad foot) for the last few days and it has severely hampered me. Not only in my mobility but in my overall attitude. The pain level is fairly obnoxious and really debilitating.
I have spent most of today just laying about in hopes that tomorrow I will be able to function at some sort of normal level.
I am sure that all will be fine come morning.
It's late in the afternoon ,actually some might say early evening and I have finally made it to my desk.
I cleared all of the garbage emails and made sure that I had not missed anything important that needed my attention.
I considered hobbling over to the couch but instead a little me time to write seemed a lot more attractive. 
I received a text from a dear friend. She is in the midst of emptying her attic and came across this oldie but goodie below:

  
Yes that's me in a production of the Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan.I can't remember if it was 1975 or '76. No matter........ Another shining moment from my glorious past!
I hate feeling like crap!
It drains me and keeps me from doing the things I enjoy doing.
For the moment,toughing it out is my choice. I have experienced this before and it has past. I am sure that it will again.
When and if I feel a doctor's visit is warranted (like if this has not subsided my tomorrow) I will get my butt over to Medi-merge.
I just hate wasting time by going to the doctor when I have experienced this time and time again and it has always passed.
I wish I had more t wax philosophical about with you today however, I'm just kind of feeling poorly and think I will call it quits.
I look forward to a brighter tomorrow!
Shavua Tov!

One thing at a time.....

On more than one occasion I have written about how effective multi-tasking is not possible.Our brains are meant to focus on one task at a time. The moment we deviate from the task at hand, we give it less than our total attention and therefore perform at less than 100%.
As my day started to take shape ,I become acutely aware of the fact that my attention was going to be pulled in many directions today.
In fact,as my calendar for the day unfolded I immediately recognized that my proverbial plate was way to full. Trying o get everything done would be an impossibility.I was going to have to make some choices and let some things get moved to another day or a later time.
My day started as it normally does,handling over night emails and preparing lunches for both Max and Susan before taking off for my bus driving.
While I drive, imagine the chaos that would ensue if my focus was on anything other than the task at hand. Rush hour traffic and a bus full of seniors demands my full attention.
By 10 am I park the bus and immediately my focus turns towards whatever happens to be next on my agenda.I can't dwell on the chore I just finished . It's time to move on.
Back home I grab a bite to eat before heading back to my desk to answer morning emails.I grab my breakfast before going to my desk,not while I am sitting at my desk reading emails. again, handling one task at a time.
I spend about 2 hours in Halloween mode, opting to put off writing until a later time. 
Just past noon, I shut down Halloween and head out to a consulting meeting.
To be fair to my client, all of the open items regarding Halloween are left on my desk and he now has my full attention. We had scheduled a 1 hour meeting and with my schedule as full as it is,at the 60 minute mark I make sure to tie up all loose ends and get on to my next chore.
It's time to change once again,literally! I drive home, switch out of my shirt and tie and into sweats which is much more appropriate for what is looming on my agenda,dog washing at the shop!
In between,I grab some lunch (which I must confess I ate while driving) and head across town to transport my niece somewhere before heading over to the grooming shop.
Dinner!
I had plans to make one meal,however,besides the shopping that I would need to do,there is a lot of prep work that would need to be done and it is the kind of dish that really needs time to simmer.
As tasty and tempting this dish was to me, I made the choice to save it for another time,probably next week and opted for a meal that I knew I could put together in just around 30 minutes. I still had to shop for my protein, however that would be easy enough to accomplish on my way home.
Dinner complete and table cleared, I now have the time to write.
My roles for the day included sales manager,bus driver, homemaker,dog bather,consultant and super awesome uncle.
Were there agenda items that did not get handled? Absolutely.
They will all get the attention they need and deserve,
just as the items that I handled today got.
1 item at a time. 
100% focus!

We achieve what we believe....

As I drive my route each morning, many thoughts come to me that I would love to write about. As often happens, by the time I get back to my desk , after finishing my morning run and early chores, most of these have become clouded over by the happenstances of my morning.
Today was no different. I must have had at least half a dozen different trains of thought that I wanted to share with you,all of which have either vanished or buried for at least the time being.
The one thought that has remained fresh for me today is around farming.
Yes, I said farming.
 Maybe it's because Spring is just around the corner. 
Maybe it's because of the nature of what it takes to be a good farmer.
Or maybe for the first time in avery long time, I am beginning to see the fruits of my labors blossom. 
What ever the reason, I am feeling proud to be the farmer that I have been all of my life.
Being a farmer is good, honest work.
It is a testament to a lot of what I believe to be the way of life.
Hard work and commitment will always reap a harvest.
Attention to detail is always critical.
Sweating the small stuff IS important!
Consistency is key.
And some things,like the weather, are simply not ours to control and we just have to deal with them and move on.
Farming is a hard life,certainly not a job for everyone.
And then there are those of us who just don't know how to do life any other way!

What you think you become-Budha

There are a number of different things I have on my mind to write about, however they will all have to wait for another time.
I find that I feel better when I write about what is on my mind in the moment, not necessarily something that has come up and then passed.
I woke up achy today.
Actually I went to sleep achy last night.
I did not think to take any Advil or anything until about 4 am. 
Kind of not smart on my part.
The weather outside is gloomy at best. Rainy damp, dank and chilly.
The sky is grey and that seems to match the energy level I am experiencing. In fact every one I have come in contact with seems to be effected the same way.
I could choose to ignore all of this.
I could pretend that I am not achy,or chilly, or somber, or even a bit lethargic.
Or I can acknowledge how I am feeling and work with it. The Advil started to kick in around 9 am. I just popped a few more. 
I put on a sweater over the shirt I am wearing. Now I'm a bit less chilly.
And as for my sprits? Well,I'm not morose. I just happen to feel a little bit like the weather. Kind of grey.
And like the weather, I know it will pass.
The forecast for tomorrow is sunny and 60 degrees.
Sounds pretty awesome to me.
Right now, the rain is tapping gently on the skylights above my head.
The air is still chilly and damp.
A hot cup of coffee will certainly help.
I have had 3 separate emails from mentors or colleagues that I follow today all referencing we become what we think.
This can not be a coincidence and if it is it is a remarkable one.
It has brought up a peacefulness in me.
Amidst the grey blanket that surrounds me I am filled with optimism and gratitude.
After all silver is just another shade of grey and that grey blanket must obviously have a silver lining!

The week has gotten off to a wicked start!

After spending almost 4 hours driving back and forth visiting with the in laws,  a visit which included 3 hours of tinkering with and fixing all sorts of minor malfunctions they had going on, I was looking forward to a less stressful day today. 
That is not how this day has started out. 
My day's calendar started out with a funeral in the middle of the afternoon. 
Right off the bat, I knew my work day would be truncated at best.
My drive to work in the morning which normally takes a max of 25 minutes took over 45 minutes today.....7 miles....45 minutes!
When I started the bus, I saw that no one had gassed up before the weekend.
Normally this would not be a big deal, however given that I was already behind schedule, stopping for gas was not an option.
I made a quick assessment and opted to head out on my route "fairly" confident that I had enough gas.
Not quite sure, I could feel the tension starting to develop in my lower back.
For some unknown reason, there was an inordinate amount of traffic on the roads today. 
At intersections where I normally have to wait for no more than a car or two, I found myself waiting as lines of traffic streamed by.
All of this is serving notice to me that in order to accomplish all that I have planned for the day, I will have to be mindful of that most valuable of resources.....time!
The tension in my back is quite noticeable which is serving as yet another reminder . 
Relax!
Take everything in stride.
Knowing that time is a precious commodity, make sure that I take some of it to regroup, relax and refocus. 
Charging forward perusing agenda items without taking a minute to breath and refocus will ultimately work against me.
The brief respite that I gift to myself will in the end pay huge dividends.
When I take the time to really evaluate what I would like to get done today, there are only a few items that can't be moved forward to tomorrow.
I just checked the clock.
I have 2 solid hours before I must leave for the funeral.
That is the only fixed item left on my list for the day.
The rest will all get handled at some point.
Deep breath....calm down....head down ...and get to work!

Letting go ....

Last night, I had an unanticipated and brief encounter with some of the gremlins from my past.On an evening where I was particularly relaxed and calm, I looked down and they they were staring at me.Of course I recognized them immediately. However,instead of that feeling of dread that in the past would have overwhelmed me, I kind of smiled. It was that kind of smile that appears when you come across an old photograph that was tucked away in a draw. 
It was a smile born of recognizing something from my past. 
The gremlin was no longer scary to me.
It has been a while now since the fearful feelings that would come up for me whenever I encountered this gremlin.
Those feelings of not being good enough, not being worthy, or deserving that plagued me for a very very long time. 
Last night, I I stared at my old acquaintance, I realized that I no longer reacted with that fear and those doubts when he is around. 
HE has become the old dog that once lived at the end of the block terrorizing us all. Now he's like a familiar old soul, who just wants to be left alone.
He has no energy left. I am pretty sure he never meant to scare me.....it's just how I reacted when he was around.
Was it a waste of time and energy?
Perhaps....or perhaps it was my way of protecting myself. 
In either case,it is in the past.
 I have let it go.
And there is nothing more liberating than letting go!
Shavua Tov!