A new saga begins

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” 

-Peace Pilgrim

Dolly had ACL surgery yesterday.

I had no idea when this was first presented to me, how much of a process this was going to be.

Besides the cost (Don't Ask!),the recovery is a very long road.

14 days of wearing the cone of shame.

Not the worst thing in the world but clumsy,cumbersome and bulky.

Her other limitations however are quite severe.

She has a harness ,reminiscent of the one Loki wore during his last months.

She has to be helped up,walked on a leash,no running and most of al no jumping up on the furniture.

The last part is the biggie. Dolly and I share a recliner.

Thankfully, most evenings she is kind enough to allow me to use it.

She has also commandeered a large section of the sofa,including the throw cover which she balls up every evening once she has moved from our chair.

At bedtime,she lays down next to me,waits for me to remove her collar (she sleeps naked!) and falls asleep next to me.

During the night she makes her way down to the bottom of the bed where she is content to sleep until after I get out of the shower each morning.

With the new "no furniture" rule,none of the above can happen.

We have one very unhappy dog.

Part of the solution is someone will sleep on the floor next to her for the next 6 weeks. And yes , you guessed just who that someone is.

I ordered an air mattress but it will not get here for a few days. In the meantime, I have taken the cushion from the chaise part of the sectional and it will serve as my bed for the time being.

Large men sleeping on the floor.

Never a good thing.

Old men sleeping on the floor.

Even worse!

Like I said.....a new saga begins!

Now if we could just get her to pee & poop!

Maybe I'm a jerk.....

“Doubt increases with inaction. Clarity reveals itself in momentum. Growth comes from progress. For all these reasons, BEGIN.”

 -Brendon Burchard

Maybe I'm just a jerk.

I caught a snippet on Facebook this weekend. It was Congresswoman Maxine Waters questioning HUD Secretary Ben Carson.

They were going back and forth regarding some budget cuts and rent hikes.

In her query, she brought up an example of a single mother with 3 children living on $200/month.

Why?

Why in the world in this day and age is that even a possibility.?

So how does this make me a jerk?

Because I really don't care about that mother of 3.

Sounds horrible I know.

I tossed and turned in bed last night pondering my dilemma .

I could care less about this woman.

Our paths will probably never pass and trust me, I'm not going out of my way to find her.

I certainly am not writing a check to her. I am not starting a Go Fund Me page for her. Yet at the same time, I am paying $5000 for my dog to have ACL surgery.

$5000!

That's over 2 years of income for this poor unfortunate woman.

And I really don't care.

Why would anyone ever be raising 3 children on $200 a month and more importantly why should this be my concern.

I care about what I have to do to pay for this surgery.

I care about what corners I will have to cut and what things I will have to do without to cover the vet bill.

But I don't seem to give a damn that there are people living on $200/month, trying to care for 3 children.

I must be a jerk!

I must be heartless.

Then again, the dog can't go get a job and pay for her own surgery.

She has no friends or community to help her out.

She has no choice as to her fate.

Right now, she needs me.

And I have a responsibility to her.

In for a dollar in for $5k!

All things come to an end

“The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance.

Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path.”

 -Jim Rohn

All things,good and bad, eventually come to an end.

So it is with our yearly 4th of July barbecue at my synagogue.

I honestly can't recall how many years this event has been ongoing.

More than 10 and less than 20.

This year the 4th of July falls on a Saturday ,which as you know is the Sabbath and we would have to work around that,something we have done in the past.

However, given the challenges presented by the protocols around Covid 19, there really is no opportunity or reason, to even consider holding the event this year.

End result?

The annual 4th of July BBQ is another casualty of this quarantine.

At least for me. Who knows what the future will bring? Somebody else may decide to pick up where I left off.

For me,it's just time to let go and move on.

A little sad.

While numbers have declined over the last 3 or 4 years, this gala drew over 300 people from our community for many years.

What started out as a post parade celebration for the handful of people who participated in building and manning our float entry to the Paramus 4th of July Parade, quickly became a social landmark for our community.

I remember year 1,when we had anticipated the small group who worked on the float.

I bought a tiny grill and a bunch of hotdogs and hamburgers.

Before the first offerings came off of the fire, I realized that we were woefully under prepared and about to be overwhelmed.

I sent people out to the supermarket and the butcher to grab more of everything.

A lot more.

We had planned on 25-30.

I bought for 50.

We ended up feeding over 150

The following year, we bought a bigger grill.Planned for 150,bought for 200, and had to send out to buy more again.

The next year, we bought for 300,a number that stood strong for at least 10 more years.

We had a great run.

We had a lot of fun.

Now that fun is done.

And we move on.......

Shavua Tov!

Quick Trip

“You will never see the end if you give up in the middle.” 

-Joyce Meyer

I had to make a quick trip to Lowe's this morning to pick up some spackle.

This quick trip turned into a pivotal moment for me.

It's the whole mask thing.

As you may have heard e say more than once, I hate it!

I feel short of breath wearing them.

They interfere with my vision.

They are a cumbersome nuisance.

The pivotal decision I have made is ,should at some point I begin to transport people in my bus again, I will not wear a mask.

If I am required to, I will probably have to quit my job.

I have not heard 1 person even broach the subject of wearing masks while driving and the impact it has on visibility, oxygen levels ,etc.

Don't even try to use terms like minimal or non-factor with me.

It is a huge factor.

My seniors have trouble navigating steps and seat belts normally.

Ad a mask to those tasks and it will be a nightmare.

Turn your head quickly wearing a mask.

Is there a possibility that it rides up over your eyes?

Absolutely.

Now do that while driving a bus load of seniors.

Ain't gonna happen in my world.

I am not at all happy about any of this.

For the time being it's a non-issue.

That can change any day now. Schools are announcing their new protocols for opening in September. All of them in this region seem to be requiring face coverings.

Not for me.

I limit my mask wearing to about twice a week. If I didn't have to grocery shop, I would never wear one.

If things don't change, I understand that I will,by my choice, become very isolated and estranged from others.

So be it.

And all of this from a quick trp to buy an $8 bucket of spackle!

Shabbat Shalom!

$350/Hr?

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” 

–Jim Rohn

Why does my attorney.heck any attorney,need to charge $30/hr?

40 hours a week @ $350/hr comes out to $700k a year.

Okay, I get it. They have overhead.

It's part of owning a business.

But $300/hr?

And it's not just lawyers.

I have some spackle work to get done on the room I am trying to finish.

I have done this work in the past many times.

It's 1 wall and part of a ceiling.

On a bad day,when I could still do this work myself, I am looking at 10 hours of work if I take my time.

I have had 3 quotes on the job ranging from $2400- $3200. No freakin' way.

On saturday , I have someone coming in to do the work.

$320,if she can get it done in 1 day.

$600 if it takes a second day. That sounds reasonable to me. Not $2400!

My brother wants to replace an a/c unit.

He can buy a unit for under $1500.

It's a 1 day install.

Why is he getting quotes for $5000?

I'm in the wrong business!

If you are thinking about sending your kid to college you may want to consider buying him or her a tool box and tool belt instead.

We own a dog grooming shp.

We charge a reasonable rate for out services. We are not the cheapest nor are we anywhere near the most expensive.

Maybe we are just plain stupid.

A reasonable price for a good job.

What a concept!

Living Forward

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged.

Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” 

-Lucille Ball

Yet another loss in my community.

I don't want to say that I have grown cold to these, but they are just a fact of life.

Often, they seem to hit close,but in retrospect,maybe not so much. I have had many losses over the years. I have had a bunch this year. Although I have dear memories of times spent with many of those who have departed,my day to day, even year to year contact with them was minimal.

In reality,what I have loss is a person who at some point in my life was I was connected to.

In my real life,in my now life,they are memories or stories from another time and place.

I have to ask myself,where is the loss?

The stories remain.

The memories remain.

And life goes on.

When I hear of someone passing,it reminds me of what once was or what I once had.

No one knows more than me, that the stories matter.Where we came from and how we got here are important.

Dwelling on the past is not.

The popular sentiment is to Live for Today!

All well and good I suppose.

But is it really?

Without a vision for tomorrow, I just don't see what today has to offer.

An endless string of one and dones?

Not for me.It's a conundrum.

Seize the day!

Nice idea.

In order to seize today, in order to move towards tomorrow,it's obvious that I can't get mired in the past, no matter how romantic those memories may be.

The Dogs Get It

“Don't wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life."

 -Joyce Meyer

Yesterday was Father's Day.

When I woke up in the morning, I had no plans for the day.

My kids had bought me a new grill which my son picked up on Friday in my Jeep.

Obviously, the surprise element was no longer there.

By the way, this made me think.

Why do Dads get grills for Father's Day?

Imagine buying mom a vacu, for Mothers Day.

Would everyone come over and watch her clean the house?

I don't think so!

I digress.

After a few text messages, I came to learn that at some point I would be using my new

grill.

I wasn't quite sure what I was grilling and who I was grilling for.

Remember, the majority of my family has gone either vegan or vegetarian so the first meal option is not normally a barbecue .

Also , not having had any prior knowledge , there was absolutely nothing for me to serve to a group of people.

I sat back trusting that someone had made plans and would be taking care of all of this.

Eventually , all of the Bergen based Spiegels showed up with provisions in hand.

And as always, as each one showed up, the dogs went nuts.

To varying degrees, from excitement to uncontrollable, they carried on as one by one different family members arrived.

They couldn't have been happier.

Soon they were laying about, enjoying an afternoon with their family. They had no anticipated excitement.

No one had let them know that those who mean the most to them were coming. They just got excited when they showed up.

Likewise, they didn't get upset when everyone left. They had their visit and that made them happy.

Once everyone had left, they curled up in the air conditioned family room,contented.

That is until someone else shows up at the door.

The dogs get it.

Appreciate the moment!

Ice Cream!

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflections.”

– Thomas Paine

 What's the deal with no ice cream trucks?

In this world of social distancing and quarantine, shouldn't this be the perfect business?

It's late June.

The weather has been ice cream friendly for weeks now and stil there are no jingling bells announcing the coming of the most important emergency services vehicle available.

Someone is missing a huge opportunity here!

Where is Mr. Softee?

Has the Good Humor man lost his sense of ,well, humor?

Trust me, if I had access to a properly equipped truck,I would be on the road no less than 10 hours a day!

As a matter of fact, I think it is absolutely deplorable that these guys aren't coming to the aid of the communities that have supported them in the past. They are certainly not Covid heroes in my book!

C'mon MR. Softee.

Lets go Mr. Good Humor Man.

Your communities need you.

Now is the time to step up and do the right thing.

Man...........I can't believe they have missed the boat so badly!

Just sayin'

Shabbat Shalom!

How did this slip by?

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. "

Louisa May Alcott

On my drive to pick up the meals for the day's deliveries yesterday, I heard the radio host mention the date,June 17th.

While there is nothing particularly special about June 17th , June 13th happens to be a biggie for me.

It was 7 years ago on that date that I sent out my very first of these daily emails.

If you remember the deal, I was going to write 1 email a day for 100 days ,adding 1 new person to my email family a day.

My goal was a) to try and do something about my weight and b) try to accumulate an email following of 100 people.

It is now 7 years later.

Still writing and still hungry to add more people to my email list.

Along the way,I have written many times about the Journey.

The thing is, a Journey by its very nature, will eventually come to an end.

Obviously, we all know that the end is inevitable.

Today, I understood that this is less about a Journey and more akin to a voyage.

What's the difference?

I am not sure, but it does feel different. A voyage takes us to many places. It has many destinations and many adventures.

My voyage, like all good voyages,has had it's share of rough seas and calm waters.

There are days when the vastness of the sea is overwhelming.

There are times when land is spotted and life becomes exciting for a bit as I know I am about to explore knew uncharted territories.

7 years later and the voyage continues.

There will be more stormy weather to deal with as well as times when the sun will shine and the wind will be squarely nestled in my sails.

There will be obstacles and opportunities.

There will be times of easy sailing and times when my seamanship will be tested as I navigate through life's perils.

I will Journey from one adventure to the next.

The voyage will continue,until the time when it ends. It always ends.

Until then,the opportunity is to always adjust the sails for a safe and sound voyage.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. "

Louisa May Alcott

Phase 2

“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” 

–Winston Churchill

NJ enters Phase 2 of the Corona Comeback today.

With all that is opening up today ,my life actually changes very little.

My seniors still need meals delivered.

My shopping will remain condensed to 1 day a week since we are still required to wear masks and I think I have been pretty clear about how I feel about wearing them.

Face to face meetings are still touchy.

Mask/no mask.

Hand shake/no handshake.

Way too restrictive for my taste.

I have become a much better planner so using Amazon or other Etail platforms is working just fine for me.

Bottom line is for the foreseeable future, life will remain as it has been for the last 3 months.

The biggest difference as I mentioned last week,is that there are a lot more cars on the road,which is never a good thing.

More cars = more bad drivers.

The added component to all of this is people who have taken up walking.

During the shutdown folks longing to get out of the house and get some exercise took to walking.

Walking right down the middle of the road. With less cars, this seemed like a great idea. Today,with hundreds of cars returning to the roadways,the walkers have yet to figure out that sidewalks might be a better option.

This is becoming a hazard.

My morning bus runs are beginning to resemble running the gauntlet.

Welcome to Phase 2.

Something that doesn't phase me in the least.

Flag Day

“We need a backbone, not a wishbone.” 

-Joyce Meyer

Susan was scrolling through her news feed on her iPhone today when she shared with me that today is flag day. I blurted out "well that brings back memories!".

She responded "really?" to which I chose not to answer.

Susan, like many Americans, has no real connection to Flag Day.

No memories of family gatherings, parades , fireworks, or picnics.

To most , it's just another date on the calendar.

For me,well......

It was 1973.

The location: The Paramus Diner.

Picture this:Converse sneakers,an American Flag,a Wallace the Waffle Whiffer mask, a butterfly net , a pith helmet and yes,streaking was all the rage.

Go ahead. and fill in the rest of the story yourself.

Ahh....such fond memories!

Today, as we work hard to regain some sort of normalcy to our lives, I wonder .

I wonder when we look back at the history of Flag Days of years gone by, which will seem more absurd.

Scattered outbreaks of youthful exuberance on college campuses and at baseball games, where true future leaders of our great nation chose to doff their clothes and run around in all of their glory? 

Or millions of Americans hiding behind masks ,keeping 6' apart from each other and allowing every bit of what we cherish as a free people to be threatened by those who would seek to keep us living like this?

Here's to a look back 50 years from now!

What I will and what I won't miss..... Part 2

“It takes courage to believe the best is yet to come!”

 -Robin Roberts

Masks!

I will not miss masks.

(Kind of funny for a guy who once manufactured a line of masks!)

Masks are obnoxious.

And I for one,am of the opinion that they are completely unnecessary.

Even if they were necessary at one point, I truly feel we have moved beyond that point and refuse to believe that mask wearing will just be an inevitable part of life moving forward.

I had a business meeting yesterday. It was the first time I was to meet this person who , if all goes well, I will be dealing with for the next decade at least.

I can't shake his hand.

He's wearing a mask so I have no idea of what he looks like.

I grew up in a time,where being able to read someone's face meant a lot.

Did they look you square in the eye?

Was their handshake firm?

What was their face saying that their words were not ?

What about the rest of their body language?

Masks and social distancing have done away with all of that.

So very not okay with me!

Yeah, the mask thing has got to go away.

Or maybe it's time for me to.

Shabbat Shalom!

what I will and what I won't miss......

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."

 -William Arthur Ward

There will be certain aspects of this time spent in quarantine that I will surely miss.

I will miss the slower pace of day to day life.

For the last 3 months,the "heat" has been turned down.Much of what we deemed as urgent and important has been put on hold or at least the back burner.

This has been a good thing.

Even the best of pressure cookers will eventually blow if to much heat is applied.

Another thing I will miss is the empty roads.

As someone who spends a solid 5 hours each morning behind the wheel of a bus,it has been a blessing to not have to deal with traffic and out of control motorists.

Oh sure, during the shutdown I still encountered the occasional, even daily, aggressive driver. The roads however were empty.It was easier to see them coming and there was always ample opportunity to avoid them.

This has been one of the first things to change.

The volume on the roadways is beginning to pickup quickly. Added drivers means more aggressive drivers and less room to maneuver.

Add to this the walkers who have throughout this quarantine decided that the street surfaces now belong to them.They are still walking, even more so with nicer weather, regardless of the fact that there are many more cars on the road.

I will miss having the roads to myself. Myself and the UPS,Amazon and Fedex drivers.

Landscapers abound!

PSE&G may have the largest fleet of vehicles in the world. That is if you don't lump together all of the cable company trucks.

They have all been out there during the efforts to crush the curve.

Now we have John Q. Public joining the fray and getting behind the wheel.

I swear, some feel the need to drive even more aggressively having been denied access to driving for such a long period.

I will miss feeling safe on the roads.

This is the price of progress!

The Cheese has definitely been moved

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.”

 -Mary Lou Retton

If upon coming out of these last 3 months of quarantine you had any thoughts as to returning to business as normal, I have a bridge I want to sell you.

The cheese has definitely been moved .

(If you haven't read "Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson do it now!)

If you have been contemplating picking up your life right where you left off, that ain't gonna happen. A lot has changed.

A lot more will continue to change.

If you own a business or belong to a church, or are involved with any activity that includes interacting with others,hopefully you have spent some time pondering what's next.

We opened The Grooming Shoppe almost 4 weeks ago.

We opened with a whole new regimen and set of protocols.

Now almost a month later, we are about to go to our phase 2.

Once in place, we will start looking at phase 3.

Change has always been inevitable.

In today's climate, it is imperative!

If you do not change, you will die.....and not just figuratively.

In times like this, I wish I had a thriving coaching business.

Trust me, it is more likely than not that business owners who are about to reopen are in for one hell of a roller coaster ride. My guess is that many are ill prepared for the new world order that they will be functioning in.

Opportunities exist in this chaos.

This will be a very exciting time for us!

All one needs to do is be open to it.

Heading back towards normal

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.”

 -Peace Pilgrim

Just a couple of days after Susan's procedure, things here are heading back towards normal.

With the exception of the postoperative restricted activities, Susan is enjoying most of her everyday lifestyle.

That's a good thing.

As a matter of fact,as I venture out into the real world, it is starting to feel a bit more normal out there as well.

With the change in the weather, more and more people are appearing on the streets, and not just protesters.

Funny how a little diversion can change your focus.

After weeks and weeks of the constant blaring about a virus that was about to end civilization as we knew it, people have found a new cause celeb.

And for those of us who rejected the whole quarantine thing, and are not carrying protest signs, we have been able to get to work and start to clean up after the storm.

Even the dumbest of those in charge, who's agendas have kept us locked down for months, have found a way to save face while slowly (albeit way too slowly) start opening things up again without fearing blowback from their supporters, who as I said,may be too busy carrying signs and singing songs of peace and solidarity.

All good,just as long as we can get back to a life that resembles something of what it was like before all of this mishagash!

Shavua Tov!

Called Out

“A person with a clear purpose will make progress on even the roughest road. A person with no purpose will make no progress on even the smoothest road.” 

-Thomas Carlyle

After sending out my email yesterday,I was taken to task by a dear friend.

She pointed out that with all of the rest of the crap going on in the world, wasn't bitching about bagging my own groceries a bit petty?

Once again she was 100% correct. Bagging my own groceries,which I do most of the time anyway,is no big deal

And yes, there are a whole lot of other things that are way more significant than that for me to be bothered over.

Taking her advice one step further, I found myself once again asking why should I be upset at all at any of this.

I have a good life.

Why not work with that.

Is there a bunch of nonsense going on out there?

Only if I choose to engage in it.

Forget about the bull s#!t.

After all, isn't manure just another form of fertilizer?

And doesn't fertilizer help things grow?

Of course it stinks.

My mom used to call it that healthy smell.

After almost 50 years of friendship (yes dear,we will be there sooner than you think), I am grateful to have someone in my life who will call me out, as she has done for decades.

The "stuff"?

As it is written"and this to shall pass!"

Seriously?

“The world needs less heat and more light.”

 -Wilfred Peterson

Seriously?

Yesterday afternoon, Susan and I ran out to do some grocery shopping.I try to limit these excursions,once a week to the grocery store and maybe another trip to the market for a quick fillin.

I am not a fan of wearing a mask so I do all that I can to stay away from places and situations where they are required.

All of the new protocols that have been instituted to simply grocery shop are annoying to me.

Masks,one way aisles,limits on certain items,and the scarcity of essentials like toilet paper and now dinner napkins.

Over the last 10 weeks, I have accepted what is and dealt with it.

That was until yesterday's trip to the store.

At the checkout, where of course I stand 20 feet away from the person in front of me (behind the line is about 20 feet from the end of the register where the guy in front of me is bagging his groceries),I waited to checkout.

When it was our turn, we began loading our groceries onto the belt,Susan in front of the wagon near the plexiglass barricade nd me at the back of the cart.

Eventually the cart was empty and I went on to pay for the transaction. I noticed that Susan was bagging and the cashier, you know that essential worker that I am supposed to thank for his diligence and commitment during this crisis,was just standing there.

On the way out of the store, I stopped by the courtesy counter to ask if this is in fact some new protocol,to not help bag.

I was told that yes it is.

If you let them bag your items in plastic bags, you know the same plastic bags that 5 months ago were deemed illegal as using them would surely bring about the end of life on Earth due to global warming,then they will assist in the process. However, if you bring the bags that you were asked to buy so as not to bring about the apocalypse, then in fact, you are required to bag everything yourself.

Seriously? Now you're just making s#!t up.

Let me get this straight.

Gloveles,you handle each of the items that I handled , again without gloves, but somehow putting them in my bag,you remember,the bag that you had me buy because the bag that you are now willing to bag in which was illegal a few weeks back, is now the okay.

And we put up with this crap!

Am I the only person in the world that has an issue with this.

10 weeks ago, we were asked to help out to FLATTEN the curve, not rid the world of this virus. You can't hide from a virus.

This will not be the last virus and quite honestly there is no empirical evidence that this particular virus is worse than anyone of a number of other such outbreaks that have occurred throughout history.

But somehow, I am endangering lives by using my bags from home instead of the illegal contraband that the stores are now trying to get us to use.

I give up!