Starting Over!

Yesterday was my first day back in the gym in 6 weeks.Today was day number 2.Starting over feels a lot harder than doing it the first time.The first time comes with the excitement and anticipation of the promise of a better tomorrow. Starting over comes with the memories of how hard I had to work the first time around. Starting over comes with the knowledge of how far I had come and how far off that seems to be today.The level I participated at just a few short weeks ago seems so distant today. I know how much work it will take to regain the ground I have lost.It makes me sad,mad and even a little depressed.
The good news is my first day back was immediately followed by my second day back,which will make it easier fr a third day back tomorrow.Also under the heading of good news is how I felt after each of these workouts.....sore!
I forgot just how good my muscles feel when I use them. My arms ache and my shoulders ache.Tomorrow my legs will as well (yes I am planning for a legs day tomorrow). 
My goals are realistic. I set the weights low,and shoot for 3 sets of 15 on each exercise. In a short while, the third set will be easy and I will know it's time to add more weight. In the meantime, I will continue to add to tomorrow by repeating what I did today.
As it is with any Journey, it all begins with a single step and the only one that matters is the next one.
Have an awesome day!

Saturday afternoon!

My friend "H"  (that's what we called her) and I had a very special and unique relationship.On either a Saturday or Sunday afternoon most weeks, you could find me paying an unannounced visit.Occasionally she had other people stopping by and I would just say hi and leave. More often ,these visits lasted a couple of hours and we would just talk.....a lot.She always went though the check list,how's Susan.how's Sara,What's up with Becca.....and Max? Eventually she would get around to a
"and what are you up to?"And at some point in the conversation she would invariably get upset with me for being a dreamer. 
"Get your head out of the clouds" she would say.
Words like foolishness and irresponsible were part of many of our conversations.They were followed by a barrage of "you must's" "you have to's" and of course  "you can'ts".
None of those phrases resonated with me.When faced with must and have to, I normally shut down. Those words take choice away from me. Life is all about choice.
The last one,you can't, just means I will. It is really that simple.Telling me I can't do something is the same as daring me to do it.
Yeah, I know, I can be a bit childish!
It's true though. If I can think it, I can do it.There is no reason it can't happen.
I miss her challenging me. I wonder if that is not a missing component in my life.No one says that to me any more.I still hear the must's and have to's. People just love telling me what to do as if they know what is best for me.
I have not heard the "you can't" challenge in many months now. 
I also have not come across or come up with that bodacious idea that in the past would surely have set H's teeth on edge!
 As I stated at the top of this, ours was a special and unique relationship. I have been reminded by friends and family all to often how much she loved our visits. No one completely understands how much I miss those visits and that irreplaceable relationship.I have people in my life,who support me. I have people in my life who want to help me. I have people in my life that care about me. 
I don't have "H".
I can't imagine ever having another "H".
This makes me both happy and sad at the same time.

Shabbat Shalom!

Make America Great Again!

Okay,let me be clear,I am not making a political statement here. Trust me ,of all the people you know and come in contact with,very few can rival my lack of interest in the political process.I have however been hearing this phrase over and over as I am sure you have.

Driving around this morning ,I couldn't help to notice that traffic was extra light. It was obvious that a lot of people had started this holiday weekend early and not gone to work today. My radio blared with commercial after commercial announcing Memorial Day deals on every thing from appliances to mattresses to new cars.

Is this how we are gong to make America great again?

Extended holiday weekends and sales on everything imaginable?

Here's what I know, the only way America is going to be great is if we as Americans are great.Each and every one of us. 

I challenge myself constantly to be great. When asked "how are you doing?", I respond great! If I say "okay" or "good" or " getting by" I have no chance of being great. If I don't believe in my greatness,there is no chance for the collective greatness of America.

I spent the rest of the day today, looking for greatness. I asked a number of people how they were. No one was great. I barely got a couple of 

"goods" out of people.

It was depressing.

I watched people walking and working. Every one seemed to be "getting by" . No one's body language exuded greatness.

I watched a snip-it of news tonight and saw what seemed to be more civil disobedience at a political rally. I quickly turned off the t.v. This can't be greatness.

Here's what I know.....I can't make any one else great.I have plenty on my hands making myself great. And I will continue to do just that every day.I strive daily for great.

I feel great,. I look great.I am great.

Just ask me.....I'll tell you!

                                                                Shabbat Shalom!

Pro's and Pro's!

Traditional prayer is not something I engage in even though I attend services a couple of times a week. I do however spend that time usefully, often taking advantage of the quiet space for contemplative thought.Last night for instance, my thoughts turned to the fact that this is Memorial Day weekend.My mind drifted to thinking about past Memorial Day weekends.How many family get-togethers  had I attended dieting? How many barbecues have I gone to where I couldn't or wouldn't eat? How many bar or bat mitvahs did I stuff myself into a suit trying to appear as presentable as possible  and not partake of any of the hors d'ouvres, meals or desserts?
Pick a year,any year and I can recount a story or find an example of my dieting and my weight determining how I showed up to life.
Living a life filled with denying is no way to live.I am not a monk. My existence should not be about all that I can not have. 
Keeping kosher is a choice I made.There are foods that at some point in my life I used to eat that I no longer choose to.Trust me,I remember just how good they taste. I have made the choice to incorporate the laws of kashrut into my life and hence (love the word hence!) no longer indulge in many of the guilty pleasures I enjoyed in the past.
Making a choice is different than denying myself.Choice is proactive. Denying is prohibitive. (oooohh,heavy!)
I have made other proactive choices such as getting married, having kids,becoming an entrepreneur.
From the prohibitive aspect, each of these choices has set limitations on my life. I never look at it that way. I know my single friends and friends without kids and friends who work in the traditional work force see life quite differently.
I make choices.
Today I choose what I want to eat.It is no longer about what I am allowed to have. I am allowed what ever I desire. My desires are different than they were in the past,partially as a result of never denying myself anything. 
It's addition by subtractions.
By choosing a healthier life style, I have added so much to so many areas of my life.
Proactive vs. Prohibitive.....
Hmmmm.....
There's probably more to his than meets the eye!

When it's right you know it!

I like watching Shark Tank.I believe that I watch it for a different reason than most people.I  have an ex-vendor who would spend a great deal of time,trying to figure out how he could get on the show. He was obsessed with finding that "thing" that he could come up with that would make him both rich and famous.I believe that most people who watch the show have a certain "wow....that could be me" feeling. "If only I had that one idea!"
That's not the part of the show that intrigues me. Personally, I enjoy listening to the  the pitch ,analyzing the opportunity and seeing how my thoughts align with the sharks. When I listen to the comments of these very successful entrepreneurs invariably I find some nugget of a takeaway to add to my understanding of how "it" all works.
It's fascinating to me.It is like being schooled by the best of the best.The businesses themselves are almost irrelevant.The mechanics of the process is is what keeps me riveted.
I have tried to incorporate what I glean from the show in my decision making.
What value do I bring to the opportunity?
How much opportunity really exists?
What is the risk/reward ratio?
How do I benefit from this? 
Who else benefits from this?
How does this opportunity align with my skill set?
How does this opportunity align with my values?
How much am I willing to invest?
Do I have the tools,skills and resources to make this work?
Will I enjoy being involved in this?
Is this an asset or a liability?
Posing these and other questions like this to myself on a daily basis, are key ingredients to helping me stay focused on my core values and needs.
When too many answers don't feel right or seem to fit, I have come to learn that what may appear to be an opportunity may not be right for me.
This thought process, spans every thing I do including my food choices, my physical activities, my social life as well as my professional life.
The Nike way of Just Do It,is not always the best way in my book.
I have become much more of an "if it feels good ,do it!" kind of guy!
When it's right.....you know it!

Simple isn't easy!

During my stress filled week last week, I found myself putting things in my mouth that I really did not want or need. By Sunday morning the little extra this and that appeared on the scale in a significant manner (2.5 pounds). It was time for action and I responded well. By this morning the added weight was gone as well as another 2 pounds.
Whew.....time to relax , and maybe even lighten up (forgive the pun!).
No way!
That is the dieter's mindset.
 Ooooh......I did good,. What can I reward myself with? 
My reward?
A commitment to one more day of clean eating.
I have bigger goals than treating myself to a handful of granola or munching on popcorn.
June 26th is circled on my calendar. We have a social engagement that evening and fitting into my selected outfit for that night is the big prize.The jacket fits today. It will fit better in a few more pounds.My treat is now the slacks to accompany the jacket.
 To paraphrase that famous line from the O.J. trial......If the jacket don't fit,I may as well quit!
That ain't gonna happen!
I could easily slip on the trophy outfit from a year and a half ago, the black tux jacket that I bought for my buddies son's wedding. It fits great and black is always slimming and appropriate.
The white linen jacket that my daughter bought for my birthday in October has been sitting in my closet, protected in plastic,waiting for an occasion where I can debut it (no wearing white before Memorial Day for this guy!).
Today I am treating myself to the loving kindness I deserve which will assist me in remaining diligent and committed.
For me ,it's pretty simple.....food is not a treat.
Simple is not always easy.
If it was easy, every one would do it.
I am choosing not to be an every one.
I am choosing to be special.
 I will wear that white jacket come June 26th.
(even though I have no idea of what to wear with it!)

Pick up the phone!

They called Ronald Reagan The Great Communicator. Lucky for him, he did not have to communicate via text,twitter,Facebook or even emails.He communicated by speaking to and with people.Today,this is becoming a lost art.To me this is disappointing,time consuming  and frustrating.Texts fly back and forth,emails chains grow longer and longer and all it would take to clear up any ambiguity is a simple conversation. In one quick phone call, I could probably do away with 90% of the back and forth digital communiques. 
I am sure that these new forms of communication are useful in many instances. However,the tone of  a voice or the expression on someone's face tells me a whole lot more than an imogi or an acronym such as LOL or BTW.
There are times when I get some of these texts or emails that I wish I could just reach through the phone or computer and strangle some one.
Often, I find myself getting annoyed at what seems to be an avalanche of ridiculous questions. It's a huge waste of energy for me and I imagine the person at the other end is just as frustrated.
I also know that I have been misunderstood more times than I can count in an email or text. Just a short while ago,i a series of emails, I am pretty sure I offended a friend and colleague. We normally speak every few days,at least once a week.Since his email and my now regrettable response my phone has gone silent.There was no animus intended yet I can't help to notice the abject silence.
Trying to explain things in a text is akin to trying to teach a 5 year old how to tie his shoes via text.
For me ,texting and emails are great.......however they will never replace a phone call or a chat over a cup of coffee. 

SUN-day!

Sunday morning has started out with an AHAH moment.A week after our Grand Opening and a week after basically saying"well I did y part.....have fun" I  just realized how bad that decision was.Each of us brings our strengths (and weaknesses) to every thing we do.Part of my skill set is to help things run smoothly,to keep things flowing and to always work on improving. I was reminded in my daily email from High Energy Leadership (http://highperformanceleadership.blogspot.com/), that improving the team starts with improving myself. 
The rising tide lifts all boats...so  must be the rising tide.By handing off the keys and stepping aside, I ceased participating in my role as a leader.What was I thinking?
There we go....another AHAH moment.
For months, I have minimized my role in the shop. I proudly told everyone about the new business that Susan and Becca were opening.It was always they,never we.
It is undeniable that it is WE.I did play a part and once again deflected attention away from myself as I have done so many times before.Being the guy behind the curtain has been my modus operandi for a long time.It has been okay playing the role of  Keyser Söze.....it's worked up until now.Or has it?
I think maybe not so much. I think stepping aside and not acknowledging my contributions has taken a toll on my personal growth.For the second time in a week, I am engaged in a mental conversation with myself reviewing my role and participation in an institution and realizing how valuable and critical that role is.
Which brings me full circle to the understanding that I bring an awful lot to the table,any table,where ever I go.
Okay,here comes another AHAH moment...no statement....
"I am a huge life force!'
There I said it. Kind of scary coming out of my own mouth.Years and years of down playing can not cover the truth.I am a significant presence.
My life energy is not like a nuclear explosion that by its very nature brings up a sense of  awe by its sheer power.My energy is more akin to the Sun,whose daily presence often times goes unnoticed. Imagine a world with out a Sun.Life would not exist.
I know this may seem like I am just full of myself and I apologize.But for maybe the very first time in my life,I think I understand.Maybe I am seeing what others see.
Like the Sun, we don't stare at it.
Maybe,the energy ,the light and the warmth is something that just exists.

Shavua Tov!

New business 101!

We were up and out of the house early today. Susan was manning the shop solo today so I decided to keep her company. Actually,the decision I made was that whenever there are dogs scheduled ,,2 people will be in the shop,even if that means I have to fill in.
There were 2 dogs scheduled and it should have been a fairly short day.We opened a few minutes after 8 and our first appointment was set for 9. As we are still getting acquainted with the shop the extra quiet time worked out well for us.I had never used P.O.S. system and Susan was not up to speed with it either.No big deal,we figured it out.
Right on time our 9 a.m. came walking through the door.Susan went about her business as I settled in to mine, preparing 50 frisbees and grand opening coupons to hand out at a picnic I am grilling at tomorrow.I also stuffed 200 treat bags to be handed out at the local dog parks in our spare time.
The 11:30 appointment was a no show and it looked like we would be done by noon after cleaning up.
That is not what happened.
Today turned out to be a valuable lesson in "How to open a business 101".What lesson was learned?Like an infant, a new business needs your full and constant attention!
We had 4 people walk in off the street during the 8 hours we were open. Those 4 people yielded 3 appointments.One woman actually went home and brought in her two dogs. Another woman took a rack of business cards and grand opening flyers to put out at the animal hospital she works part time in the neighboring town.
We also had 4 phone calls,which netted another 3 appointments for this week.In total we waked away with 6 appointments,and 3 more potential clients who I am sure will be back. Not to mention what can come from the business cards that are now going to be prominently displayed at the veterinarian's office.
As I drove home,I thought about my friend and colleague Doug Smith who coaches and trains business leaders.He could probably build a workshop around this. In any business start up,you must be omnipresent.
 Having the doors open opens doors. 
It is just that simple. To be successful,be present.There will be many days when no one walks through the door. There will be days when the phone does not ring. None of that matters. There is always something that can be done.Floors to be mopped.,walls to be wiped down,draws to be straightened out,shampoo bottles to be filled or any number of seemingly menial tasks that pop up.The reality is,this is true for any business,new or established.These are good habits to get into.Like anything in life, it's all about the good practices that you develop. Each one builds upon the ones that preceded them. Before you know it,you have built a platform that will support you through the rough times and raise you up to attain unbelievable new heights.
Today was a really good day!



Shabbat Shalom!

That's that!

Before I began writing this morning I decided to take a walk around the block. It was bright and sunny outside and the house still had a chill from the cool night we had yesterday.The sunlight felt good as I walked,collecting my thoughts on this How Am I Doin' Friday.
My first thoughts were around my situation with my arm and hand. Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks since this episode began, While it improves each and every day, it is still a long way from better or for that matter even useful.I am thankful for the progress and look forward to the day when this has passed. I thought about how tough life has been not only because I have literally become a one armed paper hanger, but the toll that the constant pain has taken on my daily efforts.
Upon returning home from my stroll,I received a text from a client who had to rush up to Boston to be with her daughter who's husband accidentally cut off 3 fingers last night. That was my reality check this morning!
All things considered I am doing great!
The hand is on the mend. My weight is a continuing work in progress.My health in general is good.I am nurturing what ever forward business I have as I search for ways to supplement my current income.
All good stuff.
I just took a call from a client and now friend.As many of these conversations go,my take away is that exactly what he and I discussed are the things I can add to my life as well. The conversation about him,is actually all about me.One of the items that surfaced was that I had stopped writing gratitude at night. I have been questioning myself for a while about this.Each time I found myself starting with the same questions.Why had I stopped? What am I afraid of? What is bothering me? What is stopping me?
The truth is none of that matters.
Why or how or what means nothing. Nike time as I tell my clients.

 Just do it!

No excuses,no amount of reasoning,no need for justification. John Maxwell's Friday challenge word....DILIGENCE.

Diligence comes hand in hand with discipline.Discipline comes hand in hand with commitment.

Not writing gratitude daily is about nothing else other than a lack of commitment,a lack of discipline ,and a lack of diligence.

And it has had a detrimental effect on my life .

I have in fact stopped growing. I am not writing gratitude. I am not reading. I am not listening to audio books. I am not working out.

Okay stop with the negatives and let's grasp the positives.

I am for the first time in months being uber diligent with my food protocols. I am taking life literally one day at a time, not worrying about tomorrow and not wallowing in yesterday.I have shelved the sweat pants and am back to dressing like me....the guy in the tie.I can do more today with my hand than I could yesterday and without the pain.I have written every day for over a week, without exception. 

All good stuff!

Commitment......doing what you said you would do long after the mood in which you said it has left you.To make a commitment you have to say it.....so....

I will write gratitude again tonight.

I guess that's that!

Shabbat Shalom!

Nothing special!

As I drove around handling errands this morning my thoughts turned to my life and my writing. For almost 3 years now, I have written almost every day. It's always about something going on in my life,a life which is not all that special. With a book somewhere on the horizon, I found myself once again questioning why am I writing a book. The story just isn't that compelling.
I have not overcome some monumental physical challenge. I didn't grow up in a third world country under some horrible political regime.I had 2 loving parents and a relatively normal suburban life growing up.It certainly was not the tough streets of a ghetto or some remote village where life was stuck in some earlier century without electricity, flush toilets or any of the other trappings of modern life.
There is no persecution to overcome or degenerative condition that I live with.
So why is it that when I pose this to my editor or anyone else who reads what I write, the comments are always the same. 
"it's a great story""The writing speaks to me""It's really inspirational""It's makes me think"and one of the most encouraging " I love reading your stuff,I feel so connected".
I think it's because I'm no one special. I am just me .And I write about that,oft times unfiltered,but always open and honest.Maybe too open and too honest at times, but hey,that's the beauty of it I suppose.
An acquaintance (I use that term because we kind of just know each other very casually) walked over to me the other night at services. In his own inimitable way he muttered,"so here's the thing I find so remarkable, it's not that you lost all that weight,every body loses and gains weight. It's that you've kept it off. Unbelievable!"
So maybe the story is compelling. Not the weight loss. Not the daily writing. Not the new attitude and outlook on life. The entirety of it. The transformation. The tale of  a guy,an ordinary guy,at any time just working diligently at being better,some days more successfully than others.
For me,I just love sharing the story,basically to any one who will listen.Even I get inspired as the words race through my mind.It's the biggest part of how the weight has stayed off. It's at the epicenter of my attitude.It's what ends up in these emails every day.
Nothing special,just me.

Next!

I have spent a couple of hours each of the last few days,cleaning out my old office. Although I have been working out of my home office now since October, the old office sat unattended for the most part. The time has come to move on . Often, moving on includes letting go. The old office will be converted from its original purpose, home for Halloween Sales, to a third office for Why Weight so technically I am not walking away from it. However,after almost 12 years, an era is coming to an end.
I wish I could say that as I empty shelves,and clean out desks and file cabinets, I am overcome with the sadness that often comes when moves like this happen. The truth is, I'm not.I just want to move on.
I am trying to conjure up all of the good times and happy memories that filled over a decade of my life,they just aren't coming up for me. In fact, when I ruminate on those years, I am overwhelmed by memories that are not all that pleasant to remember.Every struggle, every battle, every day where I  sat down there, all too often by myself ,has left a mark on my soul.
A lot was accomplished in that office.That office was the birthplace of an unbelievable number of projects and ideas.A lot of people made a lot of money from the seeds planted and efforts generated from that place.Entire companies ,multi- million dollar firms ,have their roots in that 350 square feet .
All of that is just so much yesterday's news. In the "what have you done lately" world that I have created for myself,moving on means moving out and letting go.
Today, I will just about finish moving out. By end of business today, the floors will be swept and the space will be ready for its new face lift.Tomorrow, one last trip to the recycling center and Halloween Sales by Vasa will change its zip code from 07666 to 07652.
And that will be that!

Time to get to work!

As I continue to chart my course for moving forward, I am looking at all of the parts that make up the whole of me.In the quiet hours of the early morning,my thoughts turned to coaching. While I enjoyed 11 months of getting paid to coach, I reminded myself that when I decided to become a coach,it was not for financial gain. Time and time again, when asked why I became a coach the answer was always the same....because I didn't want to become a curmudgeon.
At 55 my view of life ,my own as well as the rest of the World's was becoming darker and darker. Cynicism,and sarcasm were my default attitudes.I was becoming my Old Man, and although I loved my dad, he did have a way about him.Lucky for him he had my Mom to keep him in check,. I knew deep inside of me that there must be a better way  to view life.And that is why I chose to become a coach.
So coaching and getting paid for it was an unexpected bonus.While the kind of "coaching" I was doing was not exactly what a life coach does, I did have the opportunity to use the tools of the trade on a daily basis. Just strapping on the tool belt daily reminded me of what these tools were, what they are used for and how they work.The limitations and parameters set by my employers did not detract from my showing up as exactly who I was....the coach.
For that I am grateful.
Today,coincidentally, my mentor,Darren Hardy challenged me to perform a personal S.W.O.T. analysis on myself.If you are not familiar with the term the 4 parts are Strengths,Weaknesses,Opportunities and Threats. When ever I am asked to do a plan, whether a business plan or a launch of a new line or a new sales program, this is a key component I use to evaluate the landscape.
It only makes sense that as I try to figure out what's next for me, that I employ a personal S.W.O.T. analysis. So part of my day will now involve doing just that. 
I am already cautioning myself of one of the major by products of heading down this road...paralysis by analysis, spending too much time "thinking" and not enough time doing!
Just being aware of this is helpful.
The whole thing is a process.The only way to move the process forward is to get started,and that is exactly what I will do .
Have an awesome day!

Rest in Peace.....live with purpose!

My mentor Darren Hardy, sent me the first segment of a new 10 day series he is speaking about over the next two weeks.Today's message hit right to the core of what my Journey over the last 3 years has been about.Simply, he shared,write your eulogy today.
What does that mean? 
Lead the life that you want people to remember you by.
Early on in my Journey, I was haunted by this, my need to be significant, to make a difference.Somewhere along the way,I have experienced a shift away from that haunted feeling. It has become the WHY of my life.It no longer eats away at me, it inspires me ,it encourages me. It brings me the strength to live each day as the best me I can possibly be.This "need" for significance no longer gnaws at me, it nourishes me.
For many years I would attend funerals and come away with suggestions to my family as to what I would like my funeral to look like or feel like.
Today ,that has changed.Today I hope that the life I lead will set the platform for what that day will look like when indeed it does come.I no longer obsess over it. I just do it.
The message has not changed for me.As I have heard said many times by Chris Widener, world renowned author and motivational speaker, "when I reach the end of my days, I want to be able to say,I made a difference".The one thing I have learned over the last 3 years is that each day I am here, I have the opportunity to be that difference maker.
As for my eulogy.....I let someone else figure that out.

Brave!

I chose my Sunday song of the day today while driving around yesterday. Even though I have used it before,the moment I heard it I felt deeply connected.I was in the car shuttling between the grand opening ribbon cutting for the grooming shop and an appointment with a potential Why Weight client.It was a beautiful Spring day ,the windows were open and Sara Bareilles was singing Brave to me. I couldn't help smile as I sat at a traffic light with the Sun cascading in through the window.
From the first day we stepped into 201-B Rochelle Ave, the space now known as The Grooming Shoppe,that is exactly how we have approached this project. We were brave.There was never any doubt that this would happen,that we had found a home for our new business. No corners were going to be cut. No roadblocks were going to deter us and nothing was going to derail us.
Believe me,there were plenty of opportunities for us to find a way to back out,walk away or settle for less than we knew could be.Zoning board,planning board, and the legal and professional fees connected to them were a huge drain on our resources.If you have ever opened a business, it's kind of like buying a new house or car. There are always extra costs that you didn't and couldn't anticipate.
The positive attitude that accompanied us throughout the process,buoyed us over and beyond any and all curve balls that were being thrown at us.
The part that made me smile the broadest is that I never second guessed any of the decisions.Historically, that is not how I face challenges or life for that matter.I'm always checking out the closeout rack and settling rather than picking the outfit off the mannequin which looks absolutely perfect.Even when I do choose the high road, I spend a lot of time and energy debating my choice and then defending and rationalizing my decision.
Not this time. As a team, we accomplished everything we set out to. On a personal level,I laid out a plan and a vision and we never deviated.The results are unquestionable,and through it all I was brave.
Shavua Tov!

Honor the gift.

As I am working at finding the next path of my professional life, I find myself asking how I got here and where I might want to be going.In examining this, I have spent some time looking back in time,to try and retrace my steps.One thing has become increasingly clear. I have spent the last 20 years in a field that I resisted going into, in fact swore I never would be part of, and I have put that which I enjoy doing most as secondary.
Growing up the son of a salesman, I swore I would never go into sales. During the time when I was most impressionable,my pre-teen and teenage years, my dad did nothing but struggle to make ends meet.The field he had been so successful in for the early art of his married and adult life, kicked him around for the better part of the two decades of my youth and teenage years.It always seemed 1 step forward and two steps back for him,digging a hole which until the day he died ,he never was able to get out of.
On top of that, I just didn't enjoy selling.I know many salesmen, real professionals, who absolutely love selling. It's in their blood. While I am more than just good at it, I just don't enjoy it. Not the way I see those who are really successful at it enjoy it. They love it. It's like an aphrodisiac to them.For me it was always just a means to some income.It's hard to be passionately connected to something when it's only about the money.
Looking back ,I can't for the life of me figure out why I left logistics and operations.Maybe the provider in me found that sales was the quickest way to creating income. The entrepreneur in me could never be satisfied just selling. I love creating. I love problem solving. I love fixing. I love taking on that which other's shy away from. I love filling holes and finding opportunities.
Like a sculptor who sees a masterpiece in a block of stone, I see opportunities and possibilities that I know that others walk right past or run away from. Operations, logistics, marketing, systems,administration and all of the elements that fall outside of sales fascinates me. Leave financing to the accountants. Leave technology to the I.T. people.Leave sales to sales people. Let me create the platform for all of these things to happen. Then let me take the pieces pull them together and make sure that they get carried across the goal line. I even enjoy hanging around well after every one heads off to the victory celebration to make sure that the floors are swept , the next project is set up, the lights are turned off and the doors are locked and the alarms are set before calling it a day.
Now as I look towards the future, I am uncertain which road to walk down. It's not as if anybody is offering any choice right now.I just know that I am not honoring the part of me that  excites and engages me the most.
Opening the grooming shop has given me a taste of what I find most enjoyable.
And those who have seen it will attest to the fact that creating something from nothing more than an idea, is something I have been gifted with. There just feels like something is wrong when I am not honoring that gift.
Shabbat Shalom!

35 months later!

Today I am exactly one month shy of the 3 year anniversary of the start of my Journey.There have been a lot of How am I doin' Fridays in the last 35 months.After dropping Susan at work this morning,I spent the drive back home thinking about how I am doing.How am I doin' Fridays came about when a friend wrote to me and said"love hearing from you daily.....but how are you doing...I mean are you losing weight? how much weight have you lost?"
Since then,I have used my Fridays as a touchstone,a time to check in with myself, to see just how I am doing.
My weight is okay.....not quite where I am comfortable and certainly no where near the 182 pounds I weighed on Thanksgiving morning.I work daily at getting closer to that number.Not in an obsessive way,more like a point on the horizon to set my sights at.
I still have a significant challenge with how I perceive my size.Besides the fact that I have no concept of how I look compared to "normal" people, I also have little to no self awareness of where I have come from.I forget just how big big was.
For the most part, I just am.I get up,I get dressed,I go about my day and I don't give this stuff much thought.On this particular How Am I Doin' Friday,I seem to be tuned in to this part of my life.The shirt I am wearing didn't fit 10 days ago.Looking in the mirror,I don't love the way it looks on me today.As I think about it.....maybe it's the shirt. All of my other shirts that are the same size fit just fine. This one is just a bit snug for my liking.
Wow.....that sounds so vain and petty.I'm just being honest.
My hand and arm are getting better each day.On Sunday I will go to the gym and begin the long journey back.I know I can do some light cardio,stretching and possibly handle a few strength apparatus.
Next Saturday was supposed to be my first 5k for the 2016 season. I'm telling you now......that's not happening!
I'm okay with that choice.It was an easy one to make.My plan....one day at a time.I'll be back.....it's just going to take some time.
Shabbat Shalom!

My 4%!

So this writing thing I do daily.......is it really necessary?Seriously,is it just some kind of frivolous indulgence? Is it an escape from the real world, the world where real people go out and get real jobs and handle real tasks and real chores daily?
A dear friend of mine who passed away last September, would often challenge me with these kinds of questions.She never read any of my stuff.It wasn't what she did.There were times when we discussed my writing,I could almost see her turning red with frustration."How do you have the time to waste?"she would frequently ask.
I would smile at her and say "I fit it in...."
In calmer conversations she would ask how long it took me to write each day.My answer was always the same.....a few minutes, even though I never took notice of just how much time I spent at writing.
Lately,I have taken notice.Possibly ,since she is no longer here to challenge me,I must challenge myself.The truth is,from the time I start typing to the time I hit send, I seem to spend about an hour.Sometimes a little less,sometimes a little more.Most times when I push away from my desk and look up at the clock, an hour has vanished.Gone just like that....4% of my day.
Here's the thing......on most days, it's the best hour of my day.
I am not worrying about paying my bills.I am not worrying about what my next move is.I am not concerned about global events,the political scene,what tasks I have for the day,what meals have to be prepared,how much weight I lost or gained, how I look, how I feel,or for that matter what anyone thinks of me. 
I just hunt and peck my way across the keyboard until I get to the bottom of the page.
Normally I reread for typo's (okay so I miss a few here and there) and then send it off into space.
Once I hit send,well then all of the rest of those things I didn't think about come roaring back into my head. Like a giant tsunami, the realities of the "real" world come crashing down on me , often leaving me desperately gasping for air or trying to find a place of refuge.
But in that 1 hour,that gift that I give myself,sometimes begrudgingly,I find peace and happiness. I feel like my life has purpose. I feel alive.
So H.....the answer to your question is,I make the time.....for me.
It gives me the strength to live the other 96%, the other 23 hours each and every day.
Kind of like the visits she and I shared on weekends.

I have an itch and it needs to be scratched!

Sitting around waiting is not something I am very good at.I make a sales presentation, and then sit and wait for orders to come in.I send an email and sit and wait for a response.I file for a permit and sit and wait for someone to approve it.
My frustration is not in the process. I realize that things take time and eventually the order will come, the email will get answered and the paperwork will be approved.That part of the waiting is fine. It's what do I do with myself in the meantime? How do I keep busy? What's next for me to do? And before you say "just relax, sit back and wait", let me warn you......that ain't gonna happen!

By all accounts, I had a fairly productive day yesterday. I took care f a number of agenda items. 
Great!....Now what?
In my very first job out of college, I never had that problem. No matter how much we accomplished on any given day, at day's end,the packing line was stocked up and ready o go,the machines had work staged to start the morning with, the telex (pre-fax machines) would be spitting out orders for pulling and trucks were being loaded at the plant for delivery to us bright and early.It was none stop. I remember wondering what it would feel like to have a job where at the end of any given day,I could say I was done.
I became used to the never ending work load,like so many waves in the ocean,never ending.Some waves were more gentle. Some waves were bigger. Sometimes the seas became really choppy and stormy. And every once in a while the tidal wave would come crashing down on top of us. I loved every bit of it. No matter how relenting the waves were, how strong they were pounding and how quickly they came, I became expert at weathering the storm, even the biggest tsunamis.
Forty years later, I still crave the wave!I want more challenges.I dare you to say"it can't be done!".That just lights me up like a child on Christmas morning!When the "how about"list is a complete blank? Well that's when I am most uncomfortable.
I understand,learning to live with uncomfortable is a good thing. It does not mean I have to like it!
I am a bit uncomfortable today......and I just may have to do something about that!

Look good, feel good!

Yesterday I wrote about the word diet.This morning I looked back at this word and its Greek root

Greek diaita,literally, manner of living, from diaitasthaito lead one's life.
Diata, sounds like the Hebrew word dayenu which we sing at the Seder on Passover. Dayenu has a completely different meaning,....it would have been enough.Or maybe they do have a connection?
Maybe the concept of leading my life is enough.In my Darren Daily today my mentor shared an audio conversation with his mentor Jim Rohn. Mr. Rohn's message was simple.If you want to be successful work hard on yourself not at your job.
Sounds like it fits in....lead your life,work on yourself.
I spend a lot of time and energy fixing problems, solving dilemmas and completing tasks.All admirable feats.I'm just not sure if that I am getting the best bang for my buck when I engage in these activities.I seem to get the greatest R.O.I. when my efforts are used to make me the best me possible.When I work at that, when my focus is living my life as the best me possible,that is when I am most successful. And that is when I feel my efforts were enough.
Not that long ago, I wrote about leading my life,not letting life lead me.Month's later, I find myself at this same intersection on my Journey.In a conversation with a client yesterday I kept hearing "when I a lose 4 more pounds, then I will be happy".I smiled knowing full well, that when she decides to be happy, losing 4 pounds will be easy.
For me, replacing the "when I's" with "I am's", is what makes me better.Waiting on life is a waste of time. And time is way too precious to be wasted!
 Mr. Rohn's advice to me, through Mr. Hardy , was to remember that success is something you attract,not something you pursue.

If I want to be successful, become as attractive as possible!

It's just that simple.....!

Where do we go from here?

A client texted me last Friday saying she has been at this weight loss thing since last summer and she is growing tired of dieting.Instantly I identified with what she was feeling.We set an appointment for this morning.When we met, I was greeted with an outpouring of how strenuous it was to constantly be denying herself.I can't eat this or that.I can't socialize with my friends.I have to bring my own special food.My friends all have dessert and all I can have is a cup of coffee.
I understood completely.There is no way to lead a happy, healthy energetic life while bearing the oppressive weight of a diet program.
We then chatted for quite a while, trying to at least begin the process of liberating her mindset from the burden of the yoke of a dieter's mentality.
I personally am done dieting,in the traditional accepted sense of the word.I reminded myself of something I wrote a long time ago.I had looked up the etymology of the word diet.

Origin of diet

Middle English diete, from Anglo-French, from Latin diaeta, from Greek diaita,literally, manner of living, from diaitasthaito lead one's life.

Like myself, my client has reached a transitional point in her journey.I look back at this moment in my own personal Journey and I am reminded of how pivotal it was for me.I also now understand that it was the first step down a new path of life for me.....a very very very long and winding path.Besides learning a whole new way of how to live with food,I also would have to unlearn or at least walkaway from the way I lived with food for the previous 59 years.

I don't want to mislead you.....for me this is still a work in progress, and I have only begun to explore what this new manner of living will actually look like.I am intrigued by the possibilities and at times in awe of the magnitude of opportunities that lay ahead of me.

This is all very exciting to me.My Journey is exciting.Seeing it take hold in a client is exciting.Creating a life that allows me to explore and expand on this is unbelievably exciting.

Finding a way to share this.......now that's my challenge!

That's good enough for me!

It's been a long day.It was our turn to visit South Jersey today.So bright and early this morning, Susan and I set out on our 200 mile road trip.100 miles down, some grocery shopping,prepared and had lunch,a short visit and then the 100 mile drive home!Happy Mother's Day!
Once back in Paramus, we again went grocery shopping, this time for dinner for the family.Then a trip to the shop,where we had a problem that needed tending to.In all of my great planning, I never took into consideration the what if's that having an electric grooming table would bring.Just my luck.......what if the brand new grooming table stopped working?Well, now we know and we also know what our first task for tomorrow will be.
After making dinner and spending some quality time with the kids, I finally have a few minutes to myself.
I'm tired!
I mean sleepy tired.And that's okay. It's almost 8:30,and after I finish writing, I think I will grab a cup of coffee, spend a few minutes relaxing and head to bed.
As Sunday's go, this was ,well just another one.Once again, that's okay.They're not always going to be spectacular. In fact, there are times when spectacular is not called for.Sometimes, just getting to that cup of coffee at day's end is good enough for me!
Shavua Tov!

Stronger than the storm!

For the first time in almost 2 weeks,I donned a shirt and tie today.A family with whom we are friendly will be celebrating their son's Aufruf today.

"Aufruf (Yiddish: אויפרוף ofrif,oyfruf, ufruf/ifrif or אויפרופן ofrifn), which in Yiddish means "calling up", is the Jewish custom of a groom being called up in the synagogue for an aliyah, i.e., recitation of a blessing over theTorah.[1] In the Ashkenazic Jewish community the aufruf ceremony is usually held on the Shabbat before the wedding; but can also be held on a Monday or Thursday."-Wikepedia

This meant that I had to get dressed before Susan left for work.

While my hand is improving daily,I still can't use it at all, which makes getting dressed challenging.I have learned to ask for and accept her assistance as frustrating as this may be.As I get better every day, I find myself becoming more and more engaged in life.During the days when the pain was at it's apex,I was less human.It was as if I was a wounded animal,who had crawled away to either heal or die.I could barely hold conversations.My attention span was limited to what was immediately in front of me.My dress and demeanor was slovenly.It was an awful,albeit necessary place to be.

On a daily basis, this is improving. Putting on nice clothes today,especially my shirt and tie, is a major stepping stone on the road to normalcy.

It's not just my appearance that suffered during these 2 weeks.My attitude and effectiveness were also less than admirable.Happy and healthy had been overridden by miserable and in constant pain.I was not clear headed in my moment to moment never mind long term decision making.I am more and more convinced that this played a major role in my hitting the tree setting off a chain of events that left me feeling as if life were spiraling out of control.

Today, I feel like I have weathered the brunt of the storm.The tsunami which overwhelmed me has receded and I can begin the process of cleaning up and getting back to a more normal life.

Paraphrasing what we in New Jersey were fond of saying after Hurricane Sandy.....I will be stronger from this storm.It kicked my butt......however, my butt can take it!

Shabbat Shalom!

A very special How am I doin' Friday!

Believe it or not,I am not a man of prayer.Yes I attend services,at times in my life fairly regularly.Yes every Friday night we light candles,make kiddush and hamotzi
 (the prayers over wine and bread).And yes, I say kaddish ( the mourners prayer) when it is appropriate.When I attend shul, I participate in (sometimes vociferously) all communal prayers and melodies.With that said,the prayers themselves have never comforted or held much meaning to me.I read Hebrew but I do not understand any of it.Basically,I have no idea what the words that I am chanting mean.......I just learned to say them.
This morning,I woke up just before dawn.I began thinking about the day ahead.My first thoughts were about the shop.In a few hours, the lights would go on, and Susan and Becca would be waiting for Chewy, their first customer to walk through the doors.I waited and watched for the first bit of sunlight to peek through the window.When they did, I recited the Shehecheyanu blessing.The Shehecheyanu blessing (Hebrew: שהחינו‎, "Who has given us life") is a common Jewish prayer said to celebrate special occasions. It is said to be thankful for new and unusual experiences.
As I said, I know.I can tell you its purpose,I can't tell you what the words mean.
It felt appropriate.This is a very special occasion.It is a new beginning.Not just for them ,but for myself as well.
For the first time in a very long time,I feel like I have accomplished something.This was more than opening a new business.I feel that through my efforts,my experience,guidance,tutelage,and mentor ship, I have been given the gift of giving.For the first time in a very very long time,I can sit back and feel pride in knowing I delivered on my promise.....no regrets,no cut corners, no "if only's".
There are a lot of things I have not been able to do for or with my family,vacations,fancy cars,extravagant celebrations,a big house or even a fortune when I am gone.This however feels like I made good on my promise.
So on this particular How am I doin' Friday,I can honestly say that I am doing great.I did a great job.And there is not a sliver of remorse or discontent inside of me.
In a way, I feel humbled in knowing that I delivered on my promise of this blessing, this gift that opened its doors today .

"Blessed are You, Lord,our God, King of the

Universe,who has granted us life, sustained us and

enabled us to reach this occasion."

(Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu melekh ha'olam shehecheyanu vekiymanu vehigi'anu lazman hazeh.)

Shabbat Shalom!

Next!

 Tomorrow,Susan and Becca have their first customer coming in at 8:30.Their second appointment is for 10 am. And with that a new chapter in their lives begins. For me, the experience of getting yet another business up and running has been exhilarating. As is always the case for me, as one thing wraps up,I become restless until I find a new project or endeavor to become involved in.Actually,it didn't take me all that long to find something to keep me going.After 8 months of working out of the house,I deemed it necessary to rearrange my family room/ office space.It was a quick project that took place over 3 nights,.It completely changed the look and the feel of the space .It also afforded me the opportunity to make some changes,subtle as they may be.
I always view change as something good.
Maybe this new set up will provide me with a new perspective on things.My desk is clean for he first time in weeks!I have begun rearranging shelves and making the space more functional.The room once again feels big instead of cramped.The open expanse seems to fuel an energy of openness.The feeling of same old same old has been replaced by "what's next?".
I'm liking it a lot!
Yes, this shake up was not greeted warmly by the others I cohabit-ate with daily.Some of them aren't as "visionary" as I am . And it probably would have been received differently had I mentioned what I was planning before I went ahead and did it!
Nevertheless,I had a vision and a plan and I wasn't looking for anyone's approval or input.Although I did this for me, everyone likes it and will benefit from these changes.
In my world, that's no harm no foul!
Who knows?Maybe this will help. I need something and sitting around wringing my hands trying to figure out what's next was just not working for me
Tomorrow, I will finish up the bits and pieces that need tending to here, the shop will be up and running and hopefully my health situation will take another leap forward.We have Susan's car back from the body shop.the weekend is right around the corner, and once again, I have yet another opportunity to start something new! 

As they say....all good stuff!

What matters?

When I started my day today, I had a few different thoughts about what I wanted to share in my writing today.Some where between a phone conversation with a friend and reading my daily message from my mentor Darren Hardy,none of those things seemed to matter anymore.In his email,Darren challenged me once again to stop wasting my time,effort and energy on things that really do not matter and to continue to work on the one and only thing that does,me!
Idle gossip,envy and anger occupy so much of my energy and I don't even realize it.The news,chit chat with friends,and just about everything else I encounter daily has little if nothing to do with what is most important to me, personal growth and who and what I aspire to be.
Over the last few,no many,months I have strayed further and further away from this.Many of my closest friends and confidantes are much more pragmatic about life.Politics.....absolutely.
Work......for sure.
Finances.and the state of the economy....100%.
Sports.....oh yeah,that really matters.
Spirituality ?Why am I here?What is my purpose?How can I do and be and give more?
These things are just not part of the conversational landscape I normally experience.
Do I really care what some politico or pundit is yammering on about?Who cares which celebrity died?Do I need to worry or concern myself with the Yankees 6 game losing streak or pole positions for this week's upcoming Kentucky Derby?
Silliness...all silliness!
Tonight I, along with millions of others will light a yellow candle in remembrance of the 6 million Jews who died in the Shoah.
How did the Holocaust effect me?
What lessons were learned from this greatest atrocity man has ever known?
How can I be a beacon to those around me and generations to come ?
How will I acknowledge,remember and grow from the events that took place 70 or 80 years ago?
How do I continue to be the best me I aspire to be?
Maybe Mr. Hardy's message will serve as a wake up call to me.
In this moment in time, I know that pausing to light a candle,and granting myself the space to honor that choice is much more important than worrying about all of the other nonsense that is cluttering my vision.

Peace!

Aaaaaaargh!

This is just not me!At least it's not the me I want to be.This arm/hand trauma is wreaking havoc on every bit of my life.The pain and swelling is disrupting my sleep (that's putting it mildly).
I have resorted to wearing sweat pants as I am unable to pull up a pair of slacks or jeans and I certainly could not button them.T-shirts have replaced my shirt and tie.I could neither button a shirt or tie a tie,never mind tucking it in to my pants.I look and more importantly feel slovenly.This has repercussions.As I walked into the grocery store,the smiles which always come my way when I dress the part are not there.I look like every other schnook who does not think enough of himself to put on a nice outfit.
I find that my stature and the pace I walk at are diminishing in response to the way I look and feel.
I am feeling ineffective, impotent,uncreative,disconnected,useless,and ultimately unsure of myself.
A sense of lack is setting in.If in fact the good lord helps those who help themselves, it's no wonder I feel disconnected.It seems like I can do little to nothing to help myself so why should he......or anyone else for that matter.
Yes,my brain still works.
although a little foggy from pain, lack of sleep and the oppressiveness of my state of lack.
I am not enjoying this one bit.Every night I go to bed in hopes of a better tomorrow,only to be disappointed and discouraged when I realize that I am still hindered and handicapped by my current situation.
It is difficult to find positives to build upon right about now.
I need a haircut,a good shower,a car!
I want to get dressed,put on my best me and walk tall.
I want to feel vital,useful and energetic.
The good news is I know I will get past this.How do I know?I just do....because this is not who I am or how I want to be.
Frustrated?
You bet I am!
Angry?
Yep!
Sad?
Unbelievably!
Ready to quit?
NEVER!

Thanks for listening