Stumbling & Bumbling

"Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are."

~ Marianne Williamson

For the last few weeks, maybe months, I have permitted myself to be the victim of my own life.

It's not that anything tragic or earth shattering has taken place.

On the contrary, at best ,what I can say is that nothing has happened.

I have mostly been sleep walking through life.

I wake up.

I go about my daily routine.

I wait for others to do what they need to do, as if somehow,until they do I can't move on with my life.

Bulls#!t on that!

That's a bunch of nonsense that I have some how convinced myself is the reason for my inaction.

The by-product of this malaise is I have fallen into some bad old lazy habits.

I have gotten sloppy.

Sloppy in my appearance.

Sloppy in my food choices.

Sloppy in my work habits.

Sloppy in all areas of my life.

I have been stumbling and bumbling through my days instead of actively engaging in my life.

I am not sure what changed over night, however today I woke up and greeted the day as if that fog that I have been engulfed in has completely dissipated.

It's time to get back to work.

It's time to venture forward.

It's time to lead my life not be led by life.

What's done is done. I can't change that.

The opportunities missed during that time?

Not an issue...new day..... new opportunities.

Time to have at it!

Phew!

That feels better!

January Word of the Month

‘Forget about it’ is like if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welch is one great piece of ass, ‘forget about it.’ But then, if you disagree, like a Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? ‘Forget about it!’ You know? But then, it’s also like if something’s the greatest thing in the world, like mingia those peppers, ‘forget about it.’ But it’s also like saying ‘Go to hell!’ too. Like, you know, like ‘Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?’ and Paulie says ‘Forget about it!’ Sometimes it just means, ‘forget about it.’

-Johnny Depp

in the 1997 film Donnie Brasco

January word of the Month:

Fuggedaboudit

"Nonstandard. contraction of forget about it (used especially to emphasize improbability, and often used as an interjection): If you think you're getting more money, fuggedaboutit!"

HBO ran the entire Sopranos series last week.

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the show's debut.

In my humble opinion,The Sopranos was the best television show I ever watched.

The character development was meticulous, the stories were captivating and the writers captured a snapshot of what life really looks like,albeit from a very specific North Jersey point of view.

I remember when the show was first airing.

I was doing a lot of business with some West Coast based firms.

They would ask" how much of this stuff is real life".

My answer was simple " fuggedaboudit!"

From Goodfellows to Donnie Brasco to The Sopramos, this phrase is the quintessential answer to many of life's greatest questions.

It can be used in response to many different queries as explained by Johnnie Depp in Donnie Brasco.

For me, it's even more than that.

It's an attitude.

When I get miffed about something I remind myself ......

Fuggedaboudit.

When something goes awry,once again I say....

Fuggedaboudit.

When someone offers up a gratitude for something I may have done I reply............

Fuggedaboudit

And when words alone fall short when I am trying to describe something, the only response I have is....

Fuggedaboudit.

I spent a good part of my adult life working in and around this environment.

It was a very special ,formative time for me. The only way for me to describe it is................

Fuggedaboudit!

Shabbat Shalom!

When life hands you lemons...........................

"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves."

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Or not!

I kind of hate that expression.

Talk about limiting beliefs!

There are many other uses for lemons than making lemonade.

Lemons are a beautiful, colorful fruit.

The aye extraordinarily pleasing in their fragrance.

You can use all parts of the lemon from the rid to the meat.

And the only god thing you can come up with is lemonade?

Geeesh!

I was having a conversation with a colleague the other day.

He was going on and on about his neighbor who was having his yard landscaped.

Not just a landscaper cutting his grass and trimming the bushes.

This guy had a crew of 8-0 workers at his house for almost 2 weeks, tearing out the old and replacing literally everything from the soil up.

Actually he even had underground sprinklers and drainage added under the top soil.

A fortune went into his new lawn.

My colleague was bemoaning all of this, stuck on how "wastefully" that money was being spent and how he could "barely" afford to pay someone to cut his grass.

I listened ,kind of halfheartedly.

I was more interested in seeing the work being done and trying to figure out which of these new elements I might add in my yard.

He had some great grasses going in.

I'm not a big fan of shrubs so they didn't mean much to me.

I also think I get plenty of rain here so an underground sprinkler system is not on my bucket list.

The point I am making is my friend was stuck on "I just have to make do with the little I have" and I was relishing the opportunity to make the most of what I have.

Same vista,different vision.

When life hands you lemons.....be thankful !

This Guy and That Guy

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come."

 ~ Joseph Campbell #quote #mindset

A few years ago, we launched a costume company called This Guy Costumes.

Our observations at the time was that men's costumes was an area of opportunity.

When it came to naming this new venture, I remember tossing around either This Guy or That Guy as the name.

This Guy won out.

Today this has much more meaning to me than it did 5 years ago.

That guy is about what other's are thinking.

"That guy over there..."

"That guy is the guy who....."

"Look at That guy......"

This guy is about what I believe about myself.

"This guy can do that....."

"This guy will take care of it................"

"This guy has what it takes........"

I lived most of my life seeing myself as that guy, the guy seen through other people's eyes.

Now, I could care less about being that guy.

The only thing that matters is my relationship with This Guy.

It breaks down to one simple question and one simple answer.

Question: Who's the man?

Answer: This Guy!

Shavua Tov!

Spinning Plates

"I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions."

-Stephen Covey

I actually began writing this on Thursday morning.

Then life happened!

One of the things that has become clearly evident to me is that I want to get back to prioritizing my day.

Start each day with a plan.

A plan that includes identifying my top 3 priorities for the day and sticking to them.

I try to do this every night before shutting down for the day,plan for tomorrow.

The challenge develops when I open my morning emails to find that someone sent me a note that includes " .....and I need this today!"

Or when I check in for my early morning run and find out that the County has cancelled their bus and I now have 6 extra stops.

Invariably there is something unexpected that pops up.

Ignoring them is not a great option.

Neither is allowing these new tasks overwhelm me to the point that I neglect what I want to accomplish today.

The best way I know to maintain control when this happens is to make sure I add these to my daily list.

Sometimes , attending to these new requests for my attention can be handled in the moment.

Forwarding a file,sending out a response to an email or filling out some form or paperwork.

Often times, because I start my day before 7 here on the East Coast, time zones become a factor.

An email from Spain (6 hours ahead of me) with a request that requires a response from a vendor in California (3 hours behind me) can literally hang around for over a day.

Forget when China gets involved!

You can see how these things can just drag on , unresolved for a long period of time.

They become a distraction. They hang over me like a stench in the air that just won't go away.

Handling the immediate request or challenge, and then letting go is a skill set that I must practice over and over again.

When I do this, when I remember to handle it,let go of it and move on, I can be much more productive and efficient.

And I can then get back to my original Big 3 Goals for the day.

Making sure that other people's needs do not overwhelm my own can be a challenge.

Particularly when these "needs" will ultimately impact my world!

Like the act on the old Ed Sullivan Show, there are just so many plates that I can keep spinning before their rotations start to falter.

The trick is to make sure that none of them hit the ground and knowing just when it's time to grab them before they do.

And never lose sight of what I need to accomplish today!

Shabbat Shalom!

I didn't look back, but if I did.................

“I’m numb to judgement — even my own judgement of myself. I know I’m doing the best I can. Judging yourself is a huge vulnerability because everyone else is already doing it for you. And if you’re not in that place, you’ve got no shot. Everybody else sucks at stuff too.”

~ Gary Vaynerchuck, Medium

I'm sure that if I took a look back at my writings from this time of year for the last few years, my messaging to myself would be pretty much the same.

New Year's day is just one more day on the calendar.

January 1st does not bring new a new beginning to my life.

The idea that this upcoming year will some how magically be better than the last one is silly to me.

Simply put, I wake up each day with the knowledge that I will work hard at being better today than I was yesterday.

Just that simple.

Every day is an opportunity to create a better version of me than I was the day before.

Therefore, it is only logical that by doing this,2019 will see an improved version of David 2018.

The only variable is how much better,and quite frankly, that does not matter.

Better is better.

Whether it's 1% or 10% .

It's still improvement.

If there was a way to measure these things, who knows, maybe 2018 saw a huge shift on the "better" scale.

Maybe that percentage of "better" will only be half as much on a daily basis this year than last year.

Who cares?

Better is still better!

Say my goal was to say become a better free throw shooter.

On day 1 I shot 1 for 10.

On day 2 I shot 2 for 10.

That's a 100% improvement.

On day 3 I shot 3 for 10.

That's great,even though statistically I didn't improve as much.

You see where this is going.

If I got 1 more in every day, at the end of 10 days I would be 10 for 10..

Would that mean I was done, finished, perfect?

Or maybe of the 10 for 10, 9 hit the rim first and then fell in.

Maybe I could work at each one being a swish....nothing but net.

I would still be 10 for 10, yet improving none the less.

Better is better.

Period!

My plan for today?

Nothing but net!

Swish!

New Years Day 2019

“Your actions reveal how badly you want something. If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really want it. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Your actions reveal your true motivations.”

~ James Clear, Atomic Habits

"Constantly dreaming about the future is a sure fired recipe for permanent paralysis in the present"

I'm not sure if I am quoting someone else or I lust made that up.

All I know is that it is an absolute truth.

It is New Years Day and from emails,social media and messages on the television I am being bombarded with reminders that some how,2019 may be THE year.

THE Year when all good things will happen.

The year when opportunities will become realities.

The year where I will lose weight, get fit, find the dream job, take the trip of a life time and become financially independent.

That's what THEY are saying!

Who ever THEY are.

The car of my dreams is out there just waiting for me.

Happiness is finally within reach.

Significance is just around the next corner.

As if changing one number on the page of the calendar has this much power over my existence.

It's just one more day.

Period.

I am not being negative here.

Quite the contrary.

There is nothing that is or will be available to e in 2019 that was not already there last year.

All I have to do is imagine it and then go for it.

You need both,the dream and the course of action to make it happen.

Dreams alone are not enough.

Motion with out direction is just so much wasted energy.

Put the 2 together,a dream and a plan, and then acting on them is the one sure fired way to avoid the paralysis I mentioned at the top of this diatribe.

I was asked this morning if I had been up to see the all drop.

I laughed and said no because I had gone to bed early to make sure that I got a good night's rest to get a fresh start on a brand new day.

I don't know about you, but for me, I find it much more effective to work on today than to dream about tomorrow.

Happy Today!