What's in today's lesson?

I am a little out of sorts today and a bit of of my game. Try as I may to overcome this, I seem to keep stumbling over myself. My gait is off when I walk. My mood is just shy of energetic. I have sent a number of emails over the last 24 to 48 hours that have not been responded to leaving me in limbo on many items. I fear in one email that I sent today I offended a friend . All of these little tidbits have left me feeling unsure of myself and ultimately unsettled.
My work day is winding down. I do have a meeting to attend this evening which will prolong my day. All of this has left me very uncomfortable in my own skin. The good news is I am not taking out on the pantry. I am not foraging in the kitchen looking for a sedative to shove in my mouth. Instead I find myself actually having to address these feelings and finding some way to either overcome them or just let them go.
This is no easy feat.A bag of chips or pretzels would be much easier. Maybe a bowl of popcorn....or a can of nuts?
Anything would be better than sitting here and dealing with my feelings!
Alas, the sad part is I know better than to head into the kitchen in search of some magic meal to put all my stresses at rest.I will just have to work through it all.
I do miss the good old remedies.
A bowl of pasta.
A couple of slices.
Maybe some hummus and crackers.
Maybe all of the above!
Instead, I'll put up a pot of coffee.
I'll have an apple.
And maybe I will find a quiet spot to sit and reflect . Breath and compose myself.
If I had a bit more time, maybe hit the gym,however that does not seem to be in the cards for now.
These feelings of uncertainty that are swirling about are discomforting at the least, frustrating and even more,a bit debilitating. 
I know there is a lesson in all of this. I know eventually there will be a positive take away. That does not make my current place of being any easier.
You now what they say!
If it was easy, every one would do it!

Starting over is a lot harder than it seems!

Saying I am going to get back to all of those things I had been doing when I was so successful and actually doing them are 2 different realities.My thoughts and my actions are not exactly on the same wave length yet.
And that's okay.
Punishing myself or beating myself up over this disconnect would and could be harmful. Acknowledging it and making another attempt is much more productive. Eventually I will find my way. 
A few weeks ago, we had a house guest....I guess he was 10 or 11. My son Max showed him a video game which was a puzzle solving game. Time and time again, our little guest came upon the same task and over and over again, he would succumb to the pitfalls and his character would get killed.Over and over, boulders would crush him, branches would impale him, things would decapitate him or monsters would destroy him. As he would regroup and make another attempt ,we would all start laughing knowing that his fate was inevitable.1,2, 3 ,4 attempts at the same event and always the same outcome. Until,there was a different outcome. Once he had figured out how to navigate the obstacle, he simply was able to move on....to the next pitfall, where once again he would fail more often than not. It was great fun.He never got frustrated.We would howl with laughter as his character met his demise repeatedly and cheer loudly when he finally figured out the correct maneuver that allowed him to move on.
The game is called Limbo. If you play video games this one is a keeper!
The whole experience resonates with me.I feel like the little character in the game. I find myself in limbo as I wend my way along this part of my Journey. 
And it's okay.
I just keep at it until I figure out the next move.I remind myself that every time I fail or every time I do not succeed, it is just another opportunity for me to try again.And no matter whether I move on or start over, constantly reminding myself that life is a game and I am supposed to have fun at it!

Spring Training!

Late last week, we began the 30 day period of preparation for Passover. I bet you didn't know that Jews have their own version of Spring training!It's true. As a kid, my Mom always was looking ahead to the next holiday . Passover is one of the 2 times in the year that we prepare 30 days in advance. Coincidentally, this all seems to coincide with my plans for my personal preparation for my next evolution.The timing could not be more appropriate.In Hebrew we say it is beshert.....meant to be. 
The Rabbi actually spoke about this very subject this past Saturday. In our homes, we start preparing, cleaning and getting rid of the chametz, those things that we do not partake in, during Passover. In our lives, it is also a good time to clean our spiritual selves our emotional selves and our moral selves.This preparation takes time and a lot of effort. The build up has affected and touched every corner and crevice in our lives. Cleaning it all, preparing the way, making sure we rid ourselves of all that is unwanted takes an extraordinary amount of diligence,patience and commitment.
If you have ever had the pleasure of spending Passover with the Spiegel's you know that the effort is worth it. The house feels different. It looks different. It absolutely glows during those 8 days.
This is what I have to look forward to in my personal life. The plan is in place. The preparation, the next 30 days, are very important. I am considering putting personal training at the gym on hold until the 30 days are up, continuing to work out on my own. There are a lot of pieces that I will bring together over the next 4 weeks. And all the while, the excitement builds. 
Just like the period between Purim and Passover it is a busy time., filled with the joy of what I will experience next.
It's all very exciting!

To Thine Own Self Be True!

After writing to you on this past "How Am I Doin' Friday", I spent a lot of time asking myself that question over and over again.The bottom line for me is that while I appear to be doing just fine, I am not doing as well as it seems. I have spent a lot of time energy and resources over the last few weeks on bringing one aspect my life back to steady grounds. It has been challenging to say the least and has diverted my attention from many other spheres of my world. Now looking back, I see that the compound effect of my choices and actions has taken its toll on me. While I have done an admirable job of beginning the process of reconstructing the waste land that this one part of my life had become, I have not invested anything in the rest of me. Many of the good habits that I have incorporated along the way on my Journey, have been set aside . The excuses are many.
" I am to Busy!".
"I don't have the time!"
I can only do so much!"
"My attention is needed here not there!"
All legitimate comments, however in my world excuses are just unacceptable!
While each and every one of those comments may have been true in that moment, today's truth is that I have decided to pay more attention to those things that I have temporarily let slip away from my daily routine.
Now I realize , like a diet or an exercise program or any other change in my life , it is not as simple as picking up where I left off.Trust me.....the first day back at the gym can be a humbling if not humiliating experience.
I am well aware of just how much I have neglected and the effort and commitment it will take to bring it all back.It will not happen overnight.An action plan to reintroduce these practices must be implemented. The key words are plan....and action!Planning without action is daydreaming. Action without a plan is a recipe for failure.
What are these opportunities?
My health, my diet,my workouts,my commitment to personal growth, my writing, my gratitude, and my quest for a life of significance.
I have been so focused on one part of my life,I have forgotten about my personal mission ....a life of intentional living .
So it's back to basics today,starting with a list. First the short term goals. Next the intermediate goals. All of them building to what my mentor Darren Hardy calls the BHAG's.(Big Hairy Audacious Goals)!
I can't do 6 5k's this year without doing 1. I can't do one without getting back to walking. I can't find time to walk without committing to a plan where I make time for me.
Today, I start ......once again, one day at a time , one step at a time, one action at a time, to bring back the good habits that have become so important to me.
I must acknowledge that I am doing this without judging myself for having put them aside in the recent past. What's done is done....history...behind me!
Yesterday ended at midnight and today is a new beginning!
A new opportunity.
And every opportunity can only become a possibility when I make conscious choices, conscious efforts , to make them happen!
Shavua Tov!

How am I doing on this "How Am I doin' Friday"?

Great question!
I am neither sad nor happy. I am not up nor am I down. My energy level certainly is not high yet I have already accomplished quite a number of chores and tasks.I feel okay, not great. not terrible. Some lingering aches ,a bad finger which I have to say is excruciatingly painful and a little "something" on my foot that occasionally makes my first few steps a bit tender.Nothing that has me incapacitated, just a little slower and kind of annoying.
Being Good Friday, the roads are empty. Even the Supermarket was empty.Many of my vendors are closed today and I have already found out that although my customers are open, the owners may not always be there today.It feels like Fedex who has been here twice already,and myself are the only people working today!
Even my clients are slacking off. Normally by 7 a.m. I have a couple of dozen text messages. Today there were 2! They have been dribbling in throughout the morning,but the count is way off.
It's drizzling now. The skies are grey. The air has a cold dampness to it.
Are you getting the picture?
So the good news is.....the planning board went well last night. Becca was a rock star as she laid out our plans and fielded all questions they threw at her.The Grooming Shoppe Inc. will be open for business sometime in the next few weeks!
I have a 2 pm conference call scheduled for today. I have a 4:30 meeting to attend. In between 2 more errands to run and some loose ends to tie up before the weekend.
So that is how I will spend my day today. I will not try to create something from nothing. I will not try to fill the void in the vacuum. I will simply move through the day,hopefully clear the clutter and then prepare for next week.And that will be more than just good enough.
 It will be absolutely perfect!

Shabbat Shalom!

1 Step forward!

I often used to complain that my life was 1 step forward ....2 steps back. It was truly a defeatist way to look at life. To be perfectly honest, life is not and has not been with out set backs or stumbles. However, if I am really honest, it is more like 2 steps forward 1 step back or even 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Net result is that in the big picture , I am always moving forward. There are days when it just doesn't feel that way. There are times when I say,how did I end up back here again?When I do end up on the back side of the pendulum swing, it is never quite the same place that I had left it. It can't be. Primarily since having been there before, I have already visited that p[lace. I now have the knowledge resources and skills to deal with it . It is no longer strange,unfamiliar or foreign to me.That place has therefore been transformed,so you see I am never back in the same old place.Not only has the place been transformed, I have been as well.
I just took a phone call from a colleague on the West Coast.Mid conversation, I found myself complaining about this vendor and that vendor. I heard myself say"Geez...why do these guys make it so tough on us? Why don't they understand what we do and just let us do our job?".
That brief moment of negativity is what I continue to work on removing from my life. Yes the challenges exist. Yes, the other parties involved still will be who they will be. My response and my reaction to them is the only variable that I have any control of.The better I can become at how I show up in these conversations, the more opportunity I have to making life 2 steps forward, then 1 more forward and then 1 more.
The only way to climb a staircase is to put one foot in front of the other and head up hill!Looking back to where I came from serves little purpose. Staring at the tippy top and wondering how do I get there? Just as pointless. Looking at the next step, lifting my leg and reaching for it.....as the commercial says....priceless!

"Is your lack of success due to reasons, or is it due to excuses?"

This is the question that was posed to me in my daily motivational quote.It's a great question. I remember when my dad passed away, I shared this sentiment with my friend John when he paid a shiva call. He asked"so what's next for you?". My response was ,"John, now we find out if dad was my reason for being stuck or my excuse!".16 years later,here's what I know. In either case it does not matter. We all have reasons. We all have excuses. We also have the power to change the course of our own destiny.
By the time my day ended yesterday I was pretty despondent.All of the good positive energy that I felt building in me over the weekend seemed to have been let out.If you can imagine a balloon filled with air,it was not like somebody just popped it. Instead, it felt like when you hold the open end and let the air out slowly. You know that annoying sound that it makes as the air squeezes through the open end and your fingers. That's how my day felt. By the time night fall came, my balloon of energy was empty and that annoying noise lingered in my head.I went to bed feeling beat up and kicked around.Much like a flattened balloon I felt limp and useless.I opted to not sit and write last night. It would have been forced and uninspired.Instead, I ate crap I really didn't need or want, once again resorting to behaviors that sedated me in the past.Which led to eventually beating myself up some more ,recreating that same old vicious cycle.
Today a new day is here. I struggled with what to wear today. Yesterday, instead of donning my work uniform (dress shirt and tie) I chose to wear a sweatshirt. It was warm and comfortable. Today, I thought that might be nice as well. I planned to be at my desk all day. I had no intentions of leaving my works pace or seeing anyone today.I took out a dress shirt. I hung up that same dress shirt. I found a nice fleece hoodie. I threw it back on the pile and went back to the closet. I took down the fore mentioned shirt, walked into my room, walked back to the closet and hung it back up. I did this 3 or 4 more times before finally deciding to stick with the plan. I am working today.....the shirt and tie goes on!
Period!
Next I committed to getting back to what got me here. After cleaning out my emails, after answering my first few barrages of texts,after putting up dinner, and after following up on a few phone calls, I cleared everything else off of my desk and sat down to write.My time! My space! My life!
No excuses. No reasons. Nothing mattered . It was with in my power to choose what I wanted for me. I wanted to write to you. 
That's it....That's all I've got today!
Now I can get on with the rest of my day.
I put on my shirt and tie. I decided to take control. I made the choice to write. 
Now its Hi Ho time.
Hi Ho hi-ho....it's off to work we go!

(I bet that will be stuck in your head the rest of the day!) 

Happy Spring!

Yes today is the first day of Spring. And even though we are now hunkering down as Winter prepares to take one more shot at us this evening, the promise of the new season fills the air! As the Beatles song says..."...........it's been a long, long lonely Winter!". I'm not necessarily referring to the one on the calendar although my personal winter seems to have coincided directly with the traditional one. As Halloween 2015 drew to a close,so did my long running relationship with a significant vendor. Winter set in on the Northeast as well as my business.Now as Winter's go in New Jersey, this was not a particularly rough one. In fact, it was kind if mild. My own personal winter however was quite different.Storm after storm set in and the snow kept piling up. Just when I felt as if I could not tolerate anymore,another arctic blast ripped through my world.Soon,the drifts were so high I could not see anything other than mountains of white. My entire landscape was an endless blanket of frozen tundra.
As daunting as it was , the one thing that kept me going is that I knew no matter how deep the drifts got, no matter how chilled I became,Spring would eventually arrive.Survive the barren months and without question , another planting season would appear.
The last few days have brought signs that the new season is in fact making it's way into my life.Like the first robin of Spring or the buds that will soon adorn the tips of the tree branches,there are signs that my personal equinox is here.And as every farmer knows,this is the time when the work is the hardest, the days are the longest and the effort can be nothing less than 100%.
Even though the Sun seems brighter,there is still a chill in the air.
The ground is still rock hard and must be broken before seeds can be planted . And the long Winter has taken its toll and left our resources depleted.Still there is the hope and promise that the new season brings. And that is all I need to push on today ,tomorrow and for the days and tomorrows to come.
Shavua Tov!

Day 1000!

That's how I am doin' on this "How am I doin'"Friday. 
Who would ever have thought?Not me! 
Not in a million years!
When I started out on this Journey, this Journey of 100 days, I had only one goal. It was not to lose "x" pounds. It was not to fit into a size "x" waist.It was not to be able to walk a mile or to look a certain way. My one goal was to not fail. Soon after I began this Journey, I added a second goal.. Don't quit.....do not give up!Armed with 2 goals I began to realize as in any really great video game, the object is to collect more and more treasures or prizes. At first I spent a lot of time trying to figure out "why". 
Why was I the way I was? 
Why had this happened ? 
Why had I become the person I was?
Now I understand that all of those old why's were meaningless. They did not matter. 
The next question then became "what?". 
What do I want? 
What do I desire?  
What do I want to do with my life? 
What do I believe?
 What is next?
When became easy. The answer in most cases has been the same. I always knew it was time when it was. Not unlike Day 1, most changes began in a moment . Just like that, the time was now. There were false starts which just meant it was not time yet.So I would wait. Or restart.Or put it down knowing that there would be another "now's the time!".
Soon I began dealing with the always troublesome "how's". 
How do I do this? 
How do I get there? 
How is that even possible?
Eventually I learned that it was no different than eating the proverbial elephant.....one bite at a time. And after all of the questions and all of the discoveries, I found myself back at a very familiar point asking myself a very familiar question.
Why? 
Why am I here? 
What is my WHY?
After 61 plus years, and after 1000 days on this particular leg of my life's Journey, I am still working on this.It is a different way of looking at why. 
It is not the why of a victim. 
It is the why of a victor!
It is not asking why from the edge of the abyss. 
It is asking why at the edge of adventure.
Life is exciting!
 Life is jubilant! 
Life is glorious!
It seems like oh so long ago that I found myself asking "who am I?".
That question never comes up any more.
I am David. 
David....it means beloved. 
And that is exactly how I feel about myself.After 1000 days I can admit I cherish being me.It is a marvelous gift. It is a gift I want to share with as many people as I possibly can.My friends, my loved ones,my family ,my colleagues .
The weight loss?
 It's nothing more than the pretty paper the gift is wrapped in. 
And the bow.....well that's the smile on my face! 
I always have to remind myself that to make the gift really special, really beautiful, remember to put a bow on it!
Shabbat Shalom!

 Write On!

This was not exactly how  imagined wrapping up my first 1000 days might look like.It's been a number of days since I have sat down to write. Between running to handle some family health issues ,getting sick myself and traveling to Ft. Worth for a few days, I just have not found (read:made) the time. The biggest factor was probably how ill I was feeling. I have not been sick at all over the last 2 1/2 years. Whatever this intestinal thing was that hit me, was crippling. Flying and being away from home and not having access to foods I have become accustomed to exacerbated the situation even further.
Today I am back home. Today I am feeling much better. and after about 11 hours at my desk, I am starting to see the light at the end of the work load tunnel......at least for today.
I am feeling stronger as each hour passes today.I can't even begin to explain how good that feels.My family is having dinner and I am taking this quiet time for  myself, to write to you.Not eating,not feeling well, not being home actually pale in comparison to not writing.This is the one daily exercise that regenerates my soul.It's not just what I write. It's the whole entire tactile experience. Sitting at my desk,clicking away at the keyboard,my fingers tapping out a syncopated rhythm ,energizes me like nothing else. There is a musical quality to the sound it all generates.Like a musician ,whose body rises with the up stroke of the conductor's baton, so it is with my spirit and attitude as I begin tapping out my daily symphony of words.
Writing has become the musical score of my life. It excites me. It soothes me. It challenges me and it comforts me.I can express myself in ways that are reminiscent of how I felt when I was actively involved as a musician. 
Like a jazz musician, I may start at a certain point, however as with any really great riff, I never know exactly where it's going to end up. I just try and stay on key,close my eyes and let my inner me take me where ever I feel I want to go.
It really is cathartic! 
Sometimes when I am done, I feel warm. Some times I feel empty. And some times I feel energized. All I know is that each time, I feel good....really really good.
If music be the food of love....write on!

The Sky is Falling!

Or is it? All too often,when confronted with life's challenges, we immediately resort to this chicken little mentality. The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
My cousin uses a term ,CATASTROPHISE.
That's what we tend to do. We get a bit of news and we catastrophize it. 
The sky is falling!
We listen to the noise on the news channels.
The sky is falling!
We come across a bump in the road. You've got it...the sky once again is falling.
Did you ever have to work with someone who every time they are faced with a challenge their initial reaction is "we're FU@#ed!". I know someone like that. I know a lot of someones like that. I may at some point in my life been one of those some ones. And there may be times, even today, when my initial reaction to a new challenge is OMG!
The difference is today that initial reaction is momentary. Literally when it happens, it only lasts a moment. With in seconds, I take a step back,take a deep breath and start the process of course correction And yes it is always a process of course correction.
All too often I am bombarded with these catastrophic posts on Facebook. I am overwhelmed by news anchors belching out rhetoric of impending doom because of some perceived new catastrophic event .This creates a mass hysteria that invades the lines at the supermarket, or the bank or even just every day conversation.
"Did you hear.....today is Monday....Tomorrow is going to be Tuesday OH NO!"
The truth is most catastrophes are preventable or at worst can be mitigated.
Earthquakes will happen. Don't build your house on a fault line!
Storms will pop up from time to time. Understand them, prepare for them and deal with them.
Strokes , heart attacks, cancer? They all happen.Deal with them.In fact, understanding that in many cases. like building your house on a fault line or the banks of a river we have set the stage for a future "catastrophic" event.
The same is true for our health.How well did you take care of yourself? What steps did you take to mitigate the onset of these conditions?
This is true of all aspects of our lives. Our health, our wealth, our relationships and in the end how we are remembered when we are gone.
How then can I prevent these things from happening/ I can't. I can only choose to work diligently every day to add us much value to my life and to take as many positive steps as I can to put me in the best position to deal with any and all of life's challenges.
Do you want to know what a catastrophe is....having left this Earth with out making a difference.
That is a catastrophe!
Nothing disturbs or saddens me more!

How is that helpful?

This morning after sticking my foot in my mouth again, I asked myself why did I just do that?
 What did I gain by doing that? 
How was that helpful?
When I first presented the word "HELPFUL" as the word of the month, the context was completely different. It was this positive attribute that somehow I should add to my bag of tricks. I should walk around spreading helpfulness where ever I go! I never thought about the word in this other context. Helpful is not always about assisting,. Helpful can be a a measuring stick.
How is this helpful?
So I tried it.
Sarcasm......how is this helpful?
Offering my opinion.....how is this helpful?
Calling someone out on something.....how is this helpful?
Getting angry,yelling,complaining,arguing....how are any of these things helpful?
I spent the better part of my day today testing this out. Before I spoke, I asked myself "how will this help?"
Before I answered an email ....how will this help?
Before I chose what to do next,I asked.....how will this help?
By the end of the day, each and every move I made came at the end of the question....how will this help?
If it wouldn't help, I didn't do it. 
Simple!!
During a webinar I attended earlier this week, my mentor Darren Hardy suggested that if an item on my to do list did not serve to assist in achieving one of my 3 major goals for the week,put it in the miscellaneous column. Once on the miscellaneous list....ignore it! It's not important in my quest of my most important objectives so why bother with it.
How does it help?
I incorporated this litmus test throughout the day today. Incredibly, my day was significantly more productive .Around 4:30, as my wok week was winding down, I started to look for what else I could accomplish before running out of week. As I sifted through papers and sorted through my to do list, I stopped to ask myself one more time....how is this helping?
It wasn't. So I decided to shut it down for the day, head out to the gym for an end of the day training session, and then head home for yet another wonderful Shabbat experience with the flock of Spiegels.
 That helped a lot!
Shabbat Shalom!

Let the Force Be With You!

My day has been fraught with emails, texts and conversations which all revolved around what it is that people can't do.I can't watch what I eat, I can't find suitable food for my plan,I can't do this or that,.....it's all pretty annoying!
I want to just scream when I hear this stuff. 
"YOU DO KNOW IT'S A CHOICE THING!"
Aaaaaaargh!
Admittedly, not that long ago, I too would be guilty of choosing that same mindset.Thankfully today I know better.I understand that every thing is a matter of choice and the choices are mine.
What I eat, how I dress,, when I work out,who I work with and for,how I allocate my resources (time,money and energy),who I spend time with  and what I fill my life with.
My mentor Darren Hardy,'s message today also tapped into this same mindset. He explained that each one of us possess our own unique search engine. Our minds feed us information based on what we think about. We are our own Google!
If we think we can't....then we can't. If we believe something is a problem, it will be.I say simply reboot! It's just that easy. 
Obstacles?or Opportunities? 
Barriers? or Bridges?
Chance? or Choice?
These are the decisions I face daily. I don't always recognize them right away. There are times when that old mindset creeps in. Thankfully more often than not, I catch myself and work my way back . I find my URL bar and re-enter the data.I perform a new search until I bring myself back to a positive place. 
It is my Jedi moment. I use the force.
My life will manifest everything I think about.
The choice is simple. 
Choose happy.
Choose healthy
Choose successful.
 Choose winning!

Just Let Go!

Here it is .....5:30.....just before dinner and I am finally writing to you.It seems that my quiet time has shifted once again. In the past, my days started with writing. It was the most important thing for me to do to get going. There has been a shift recently and it has taken me a while to come to grips with it. My mornings have started off with texts and emails to be answered, errands to be run and agenda items that need attending to. By mid morning, I find myself trying to find some quiet time to write. Invariably, by that point, my mind is racing in 100 different directions and gathering my thoughts becomes a stress point instead of a time for thoughtful reflection. It has only been over the last few days that I have come to realize that if I just let go,I will eventually find that peaceful space that I was struggling to get to.
This is not the only shift I have experienced lately. Whether in sales or marketing or management or coaching, I find that letting go is much easier than forcing an issue or situation. Time and time again, if I remember to stop myself ,to step back and to let go, inevitably things work out.Things always workout. Possibly not the way I may have envisioned them, but that's on me.That's what I get for having expectations. Expecting something to happen is a sure fire path to disappointment.
As I was writing this, I happened to open an email that just came through. Probably not a great idea.My immediate response was "are you kidding me?" "Now you want this?".Obviously it is the end of my day, when many of the resources I will need to handle this matter are not readily available . I began to get agitated and worked up. How,why , what if, when,....and then it came back to me.Let it go!
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will have the resources at hand to make intelligent decisions.Or not. It doesn't matter. The one thing I know for sure is that right now, in this moment, those particular resources are just not available so let it go for now.It will wait. And if it doesn't? That's okay too!
In my reality, this is a very hard thing to come to terms with. It is not how I have functioned for the past 61 years of my life.
I plan. 
I fix. 
I do.
 Letting go? 
Whoa! 
That's a pretty radical concept.
Maybe radical is a good thing!
I know letting go is!

What was that about?

As I was getting dressed this morning, I happened to glance at a grade school picture of my oldest child, Sara. Instead of the happy nostalgic feeling one often gets when viewing old photos,I immediately became overwhelmed by a wave of sadness.My thoughts turned to days that are gone and I will never have again. I became overwhelmed with a grief for what I missed and will never have again.I could not break my gaze and the longer I looked at it the sadder I became.In a few short moments, the pain became unbearable. I physically had to turn away to pull myself together.
This was uncharacteristic of how I normally feel when looking at old photos.I have no idea why I had this reaction today. No one is ill, or in trouble or estranged from me. 
I just became sad!
I finished dressing and fled from my room as quickly as possible.
The rest of the day was absolutely fantastic.I got a lot accomplished. I had a great workout. I made a terrific dinner.Yet I was haunted by the memory of how I felt looking at that picture. Interestingly, Sara called at one point today just to chat. I was busy and asked her if I could call her back. On my way into my workout, I took a second and called her back before she went out to a class this evening.
We made a date to catch up tomorrow.It will be high on priority list ,that I can promise.
So I am left wondering,was this a moment that came and passed? Or is there something going on that I might want to pay attention to? And do I have the strength to allow myself to face the fears of the sadness I felt and go there anyway?
It's daunting, that much I can tell you.
I can also tell you that I have not been able to come to a decision on this. I am sure at some point in time, I will muster the fortitude to examine this and peel  the onion .I am not sre when that will happen. I promise to let you know when I do!

Take the Cigar out of your mouth!

When I made this latest choice to commit to 14 clean days of eating my goal was ambitious. After having hit my "hell no!" weight, I knew I would have to lose ovr 1 pound a day to be down to what I felt would be an acceptable weight. Mind you, acceptable is not ideal or optimal. It is a weight I can feel comfortable with for the time being.I experienced great results early,. Admittedly the last 2 days have yielded less dramatic results. In fact on day 5 the scale actually crept up a tiny bit (.2 of a pound). That was followed by consecutive days of a loss of .4 of a pound.
Here's what I know,I am eating as cleanly as I can. I am following the prescribed food protocols that I along with countless hundreds of others have had success with. Therefore I just keep going. I know the science behind the program and I know the results that come from the dedicated effort. The compound effect of a sustained commitment to these choices will ultimately yield significant results.
Yesterday, I had a client quit on me. "It's just not working" she kept repeating."I follow the program to the last detail and it's not working" "I do every thing except......and I don't .... and sometimes I......and It's too hard.....and in the past I....".
As I listened to this litany of excuses and reasons ,my self awareness of just how committed I am to my Journey grew in strength.
Quitters never win and winners never quit. It's that simple.
She continued" food is more than fuel....I want to enjoy my meals".
All I could think of was a famous line attributed to Groucho Marx"I like to smoke cigars , but I take them out of my mouth occasionally".
Today Susan and I are heading to South Jersey to visit her parents. In the past that trip might have included a nice breakfast somewhere, lunch,either brought in or at a diner somewhere and then a dinner of some sort after we got home, often some kind of take out since it would be late by the time we pulled up the drive way.
Instead, we just had a discussion. I laid out my food protocols to get enough "fuel" into my tank for the day. We devised an intelligent workable plan that would fit my needs as well as incorporate some of the social conventions we have become accustom to when it comes to eating.
In the end,our nutritional needs will be met. We will still have a nice day together. We will enjoy each others company. We will make the obligatory visit we have planned. And we will not have paid the price,financially or in any other way, that eating 3 or more meals,all with way too much food , all costing way more than necessary and all no not nearly as nutritional as what I have planned would be.
Day 7 of 15.

Off to make it a great one!
Shavua Tov!

I think I am starting to get it!

Well this feels good! It has been quite a while since I have found the time and the calmness to write to you on a Saturday morning. I feel cautiously at peace this morning. (Maybe I should lose the cautiously thing huh!).
I was driving to a meeting the other day and found myself in my car for 30 quiet minutes. I used that trip to catch up with a dear friend. I almost said old friend except that would have validated exactly the exact conclusion we were both working at not being our reality.
He said "it's not that I feel old or am ready to give up....but the reality is I'm 63 and who wants a 63 year old?".
He was right. We are no longer young bucks. We are on the other side of the halfway point.And yes believe it or not, no matter how good I look and feel,no matter how much I dress it up, some of the glow of youth just is not there anymore.
I was not disturbed by our conversation. My friend is as strong as he ever was....physically and mentally. When faced with either challenges or opportunities, he has always risen above the crowd.He is as mighty as an oak tree in either situation. Unflappable and resilient.
And there it is.
Oak trees do not shine!
In fact if you stare at the bark ,it is kind of ordinary and less than colorful. They are gritty and course to the touch. However,try leaning on one.It does not move. In a storm, stand under one and it will keep you dry. Step back and look at its majesty and you can't help but to be impressed. It's branches reach out in all directions, much like the way our elder lives have. The thousands and thousands of leaves are like the lives we elders have touched,some fallen away some still clinging to us and some still drawing strength from us.
At 63 or in my case 61, it's true, we are not the wild flowers that are so beautiful and that people pick and gather. 
We are the giants that are so dependable. We have risen from the ground,weathered the seasons and the storms. We stand tall against all skies, the bright blue ones and the ones that are grey and daunting.
Yes my friend,we are as the mighty oaks.
Beautiful and majestic and vital in a very special way. 
Who wouldn't want us!

Shabbat Shalom!

Even The Nicest People Have Their Limits!

The Universe was not just speaking to me today. It was screaming at me!From my word of the day from John Maxwell to my Darren Daily from Darren Hardy to the quote above which appeared on my desk top, there was a a concerted effort to help me through the day. In the past, all of the things that greeted my day would have permitted me to be overwhelmed,out of sorts,and scrambling between tasks.
That did not happen on this particular How Am I Doin' Friday. Instead the stones in the road which I would have stumbled on in the past, became guide posts and markers, reminding me what still needed to be accomplished ,avoided or set aside for another time.
I have noticed how easily I make adjustments during the course of my day lately. We had plans to go to the gym at 5:30. That didn't happen. I let go of the"need" to jam it in when obviously it wasn't going to happen.No one told me that the bridge was out between my house and my office. No problem! I just took the detour and accepted the fact that I would be late to my next appointment.
Phone calls texts and emails each gifted me with what could have been viewed as bad news.Instead, I mentally placed each one in it's own pile and began the chore of prioritizing which fire to put out first. 
Being perfectly honest, my back tightened up as the stress related to the happenings of my day found a place to set in.
The day had a lot of deep breathing. There were more than a few closed eyed silent moments to bring myself back to center.
At the very core of all of this the quote above kept me in balance. Yes even I have my limits. And when I reach them, I have learned to stop or just let go.
Essential to moving through my day was Mr. Maxwell's word of the day TIME. His message reminding me that we don't manage time, we manage ourselves, helped me set a course for when and how I would get things done today. And Darren's daily message about the misnomer MULTI-TASKING , was spot on and kept me focused on the task at hand.
In the end,what obviously should have been a terrible day by many people's standards, turned into quite a productive one instead.
The tension in my back?
Mostly gone.
I'm sure a good night's sleep will go a long way to take care of that.

Shabbat Shalom!

The real law of attraction!

Unlike what I may have learned in science class, I find more and more, that it is not opposites that attract. quite the contrary it is completely the apposite when it comes to people.This has been most evident over the last few days. As my energy has increased, I find more energetic people being attracted to me. As I display confidence, others around me seem more confident. Optimism is as contagious as the flu!
You've been with me long enough to have seen many swings over the last 985 days.

(Yes , I am closing in on Day 1000. Quite honestly the only significance Day 1000 has is for myself and my editor ....we have a kind of set point there).
Since returning from Nashville, I have been on a mission.Monday morning when I stepped on the scale, I had exceeded my oh hell no! weight.
Quite honestly , after flying the day before and very little sleep over the days leading up to that, if I had done an apple day and gotten some rest, I would have been back to an acceptable range. Acceptable is no where near desirable. And desirable does not come close to optimal!
The choice in that moment I stepped on the scale became clear and obvious. I would get back to work. Much like my commitment to 100 days, I committed at that moment to 14 days.....two weeks. I gave myself two weeks to clean up my act.
And I am happy to say it is working. Not just in regards to my weight,in all spheres of my life.
I am eating better and sleeping better. I am more organized and more focused. I am working out more regularly and with more intensity. Last night once again, I crawled in after a training session. It felt great!
I have 10 days to get back down to acceptable. It will be challenging.I am up to the challenge and having had great success over the last 4 days has helped.
I am well out of oh hell no! numbers. I understand that this too will slow down. My experience tells me that in the very near future, the scale will not greet me with a new number. I am okay with that. I am doing all that I know how to do to put myself on the path of success. Notice of success not to success.
It makes a big difference when I remind myself that success is a lifestyle, not a destination.

Wow....did I just say that? 
Pretty insightful huh!

Back to Step One!

One of the tools often used in coaching is asking your client to think back to when life was good. What were they doing in those days that brought them success. When we retrace our steps and find our way back to those basics, invariably,we find more of that same energy that worked so well for us in the past. This is where I find myself today. My weight has been creeping up steadily since Thanksgiving.
Would you care to see the list of excuses? 
Thanksgiving,....
The NY Trade Show...
Christmas....
New Years...
The Halloween Show in New Orleans....
Another show in Nashville..
Blah blah blah!
All excuses. legitimate events.....of course.
Now I am taking the opportunity to find my way back to that wonderfully exciting place I was just a short while ago.
The same goes for my business.
I can document and detail the list of events that has me where I am today. Again, legitimate events, not excuses.
In both cases, my fiscal and my physical well being are being corrected by returning to using the tools and skills I have collected and developed along the way.
And when I see success,even the slightest incremental success, I am inspired . I find myself dedicating and rededicating myself to the mission at hand.
Back to Day 1 of this Journey....remember the quote?
"A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step".
Now is the time for me to dig deep into my tool box and find all of the gems that somehow got buried over time.
Like riding a bicycle, you never forget how to use them.
I am sure that there will be less energetic days along the way. I am sure that there will be days that doubts and fears will creep in. I am sure that there will be times when I feel defeated or tired and maybe hopeless.
When I do, I will reread this .....and remind myself that I can , I have and I will feel that energy again.
It's what I do!

March Motivational Word of the Month: HELPFUL

My mentor Darren Hardy shared a message with me today that he had actually used just about 1 year ago.The reason I remember it so well is that it was life changing for me.At the time, I was stressed out beyond belief.I was pacing and wringing my hands, down on myself for being a failure and in general existing in a very dark cold and evil place.Stress was my daily agenda.My face was twitching, I wasn't sleeping and I was pretty much a basket case. His advise at that time was simple.....get over yourself! He went on to lay out 4 simple steps to relieve that stress. Since then, I have found myself going back to this time and time again. Fortuitously Darren sent these 4 steps out again today in his daily message.I was at a loss in my attempts to get back on a roll.My days were becoming a continuum of starts and stops. The compound effect of repeating small changes over and over and over, was eluding me (I may have been looking for that one big swing and it just wasn't happening!). The Universe ,conspiring with my mentor, must have felt my frustration and sent me this tap on the shoulder. Below are the 4 simple steps.I am sharing them with you to remind myself just how important they are to me. I know that I am on it like white on rice today! Jot down what's stressing you out right now. And do these 4 steps: 1. Just DO the stuff you've putting off (and stop whining about it). 2. Don't take yourself so dang seriously (nobody else is). 3. Stop trying to control everything (that's why they call you a "freak" behind your back). 4. Just do what you can, accept what you can't (and move the hell on). Oh and don't for get to B...R...E...A...T...H...E It's all not that important. End the cycle of madness: You can't change the past, and you ruin the present by worrying about the future. Just do what you can, accept what you can't and move on.