My Way!

The end of another month! I am amazed at just how quickly time passes. It seems like moments ago when I mentioned that it was time to turn my thoughts towards the High Holidays.Now they are here.And along with their anticipated arrival comes all of the last minute preparation that may have been missed in the days and weeks leading up to now.
That is exactly what I have been up to so far on the How Am I Doin' Friday.
A year ago, I was asked to step in to a role at our synagogue that had been handled by someone else for a very long time.Last year,I spent my holiday, shadowing him and learning the lay of the land and how he handled his duties.This year he will not be there to hold my hand or assist me. No big deal....I've got this covered. However, since this is now my responsibility,it's time for the Sinatra in me to come out. If I am to do this I will do it My Way!
I have for well over a year now, learned and listened to how things have been done for years. I have been a good student as well as a respectful one studying and gaining an understanding for the duties I will perform.
Now it is time for me to own this experience,my experience and make these duties mine. That means putting systems and protocols in place that are in keeping with the spirit and responsibilities that come with this position while at the same time bringing my skills,knowledge and personality to it as well.
Until last night,the "old guard" was still intimately involved and I in no way wanted to rock any one's boat.Last night was a final set up night. A dot the I's Cross the T's evening.All went well and the reigns were clearly handed over to me.
Today,I have spent the majority of the morning, preparing much of the"new" that I am bringing with me. Respectfully, I have let others in positions of leadership know what I plan to introduce. I didn't necessarily ask for permission. I did share my plans and asked for any input, either positive or negative.
Much of what I am doing and will be doing is ultimately inconsequential to the service at large. No one will walk away saying "wow....love the changes" or "What the hell was he thinking?". 
Unfortunately , it is this exact same way of being that possibly makes me "unemployable".
I can't just do what has always been done. If I see what I believe is a better way for me to complete a task, I will look to explore that option.  That is with in acceptable guidelines and confines. I would not be a very good McDonalds employee. Simply following a road map is not my strong point. I can do it. I have done it. But for me,it would be like hiring a chef and asking him to wash dishes. While he may be perfectly able to wash the dishes,he would not be happy and his talents would certainly be wasted.
Besides.what could go wrong?
Absolutely nothing!

Shabbat Shalomm!

Searching for a breeze.........

Yesterday I met with my friend and editor. Our meeting was more social than to discuss our work together. We had not been in touch much over the Summer and we both jumped at the opportunity to get together and catch up.
During our conversation I brought up something that is becoming more and more of a daily struggle for me.
What was once nothing more than a faint whisper has becoming a cacophonous impediment to how I function.
I love this part of my life. You know,the part where I am engaged with people and the part of my life where I can live in service to all around me.
I love to spend part of my day writing to you.
I love answering a request with a hearty "no problem!"
I love giving and sharing.
I love to help out.
I love to create.
I love to have conversations with people that when we walk away we are both uplifted.
I love to give smiles and get them back.
I love to be significant.
I love leading a life of purpose.
Now the rub....
Who has time for all of that?I have to earn a living.
I have to find more income.
I have to be productive.
I have to make sure that my family is being taken care of, that my bills are getting paid and that I am meeting my responsibilities.
Is there a balance between these two worlds?
Should I turn my back on my passions to fulfill my obligations?
Should I live my life following my dream or simply put a lid on that in hopes that maybe someday down the road I may have time for that?
There have been times when I could do some of both. There have been occasions when the demands of one side of this coin far outweigh the desires of the other.
Right now,the need to deal with the realities of every day life have become all encompassing,consuming every morsel of energy with in me.
My lack of success in this en devour has me frustrated. The more I claw away at this,the more I turn away from that which makes me happiest.Like a Winter freeze,I feel the ice hardening between the life I am embroiled in and the person I want to be.
I shouldn't waste time writing,reading,or communicating. Forget personal growth. Grow your business. Get a job! Do something constructive for your family.
There must be a balance.
I took a 15 minute break yesterday to clear my head. I chose to listen to an audio by my mentor Mike Dooley. He opined that when sailing we do not unfurl our sails to get us to a destination. We open our sails to catch the wind. Then we set about using that energy to assist us in our Journey.
Right now my life feels as if I hoist those sails on a daily basis and all I encounter is stillness.
Soon the winds of fortune will change.I know this as fact!
For now.all I am experiencing is the quiet lapping of the endless sea constantly reminding me that I am stuck here, with no safe haven in sight. With each passing day,this feels lonelier and lonelier and I become more and more disconcerted and disenchanted.
I'm tired!
I just want a breeze...just a little breeze.....

Listen to the music!

I have been meaning to bring something up since last Saturday night.I know I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I am not big on prayer.It's just not my thing. I never seem to connect to reading something written by someone else or reciting words that have little or no meaning to me.
Saturday night, I experienced something quite different .Something that has given me at least a glimpse into the power of prayer.To better understand what I am referring to I have to go back to a lesson that our cantor shared with us on Shavuot.During his teaching session, he made the point that the music,maybe even more than the actual words,has the power to move people.
Isn't there that one song that comes on the radio that transports you to a time gone by? Isn't there a song that ,the minute you hear it stirs a feeling deep inside you that you can neither control or explain?
Are you not guilty of having at least once in your life,found yourself singing like a rock star as you drive down the road,banging on the steering wheel and ultimately raising your clenched fist in the air as the song reaches its climax? (Okay maybe that's just me)
Seriously,music has a way of bringing emotions to the surface that you did not know you have or that you thought were buried so deep they would never again see the light of day.
And so it was Saturday night. Selichot is the beginning of the High Holiday period. Along with it comes melodies that are only used at this time of year. As I sat in the sanctuary,reflecting on the happenings of what had been an absolutely wonderful evening,these haunting tunes began swirling around eventually making their way into my soul.It stirred memories of times forgotten. I looked to my left. There sat my cousin. I was immediately mentally moved to a time long ago,almost 60 years ago.I was in the sanctuary of our temple on 23rd street in New York. I could smell the stale air. Visions of my Zaydeh, my grand father,filled my head. It has been decades since my cousin and I sat side by side in that shul together......or was it just yesterday?
The melodies were the same.The same melodies that I grew up with, that my cousin grew up with, that my parents and grand parents all grew up with. Generation after generation after generation ,the same melodies marked the coming of this High Holiday season.
And suddenly for a brief moment I found myself connected to prayer.Not the words.....the music.
The music of our lives.
Now there's something to think about.

Old Dog,same old tricks.....

As I was heading out the door just before 7 a.m on my way to a 9:30 meeting in Atlantic City,I received a text delaying our meeting time until 11.
I quickly rearranged the plans I had made to get things started here at home. It also has afforded me a few minutes to get out a quick email to you.
Had I simply left the arrangements that I had made with others stand, I would actually have a very calm relaxing hour and a half to myself. Instead, by taking every one else off of "red alert",I have compressed that free time I may have had into just about 25 minutes. 
On any given day, the process of writing to you takes upwards of an hour.
I listen to my Minute with Maxwell. I spend a few minutes with my mentor Darren Hardy.I find a quote of the day to share with you and then and only then do I start banging away at the keys on my keyboard.
Well I did all of the preparatory things and now I have less than 15 minutes to spend with you before I have to kick things into high gear.
Why did I do this to myself?
No one seemed to mind that I had asked for some help today in getting the day started.
Every one was willing to jump in and help out.
So why did I feel the need to let every one off the hook,get back to their normal routines and in doing so,add a level of stress to my morning that was completely unnecessary?
I can come up with 2 explanations:
#1....I like routine....so now faced with the opportunity to jump back into my daily routine I grabbed it without thinking of the benefits I might derive from just letting go.
#2 ......I like taking care of others.While all involved were more than happy to assist in the normal every day tasks that I would usually take care of , I jumped at the opportunity to once again play the role of care taker.
None of this is a good thing.
I am actually appalled at the lack of personal growth I have exhibited today.It feels like just so much same old same old David.
This will bother me for a while. I know it will be sitting next to me on my 2 1/2 hour drive down to Atlantic City.
I thought I had changed.
Maybe I have, just not as much as I believed.
Some habits and behaviors are just hard to break.
What's that old coaching adage?
"What we do some of the time is what we do all of the time".
I am a wee bit disappointed in myself.
Interesting my quote of the day:
"Some time you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory".
Maybe just maybe I will learn something from this experience.

Happy and Helpless!

So much has happened already today. I don't even know where to focus my thoughts!
For instance,some one who has accompanied me for over 800 days on my journey sent me a short message "please stop sending me your dailies."
While this is not the first time I have received a note like this,I am left wondering what happened that suddenly, out of the clear blue,someone who has been by my side,and intimately connected,has chosen to step aside.
I hope all is well ,yet my senses tell me something is amiss.
I feel a bit helpless.
Another email and another quandary. A dear friend who has a family member with a severe weight problem reached out yet again. This time the situation has escalated and hospitals and life saving measures have come in to play. So scary and painful for my friend.
Again, that helpless feeling is creeping up.
On a personal note, there are many balloons floating in the air. People not responding to emails phone calls or texts are leaving me frustrated and wondering what else I can be doing to help myself.
Once again....that helpless feeling!
Now my ISP is down and I can not receive or send any emails.....very frustrating!
And I am left feeling helpless! 
None of this resonates with or matches how I truly am today. I was energetic and well rested after a very decent night's sleep. I sat at my desk this morning and went through every bit of mail,every note and every scrap of paper.
A fresh start for the day,the week and the season. 
That's the ticket!
At Saturday night's event, during a conversation with a friend I have known since I was a child,I was asked "if you had your way,what would you like to be doing with your life? What would make you happy?"
Those are actually two different things. The second is the easy part. Nothing can make me happy. Happy is a choice and I am at my best when I remember to make that choice.
The first part is the tough one. I know what I would like to be doing.If I were 21,unencumbered and with the responsibilities of a young man starting out in the world, I would simply follow my passions. The problem is two fold,I am 61 not 21 and when I was 21 I did not have the wisdom that I have at 61.
Sad but true!
I seem to be dealing with the same theme I was befuddled by when this Journey began.
I have come a long long way on this Journey. I have learned a lot about life and about myself along the way. Probably the single most important thing I have learned is that each question I encounter and answer leads me to many more complex questions.
Some times,ignorance is bliss. 
The knowledge gained along my Journey.....
well there's that helpless feeling again!

Happy Monday!

Illuminating Offer!

I really wish I had sat down to write as soon as I got back from the gym this morning. I was in a good mood after a decent workout.Then for no apparent reason, my attitude shifted and I found myself struggling to stay upbeat and becoming angry. I am not angry at any thing or any one in particular. I can not explain it, however as the day has gone on my mood has gone down hill. 
Last night was lovely. The room was full and every one i attendance seemed to have enjoyed the evening. I for one was very happy.It was a good night for our synagogue and that is what really mattered to me.
We had many many well wishers. Some beautiful things were said to us and about us. When it was my turn to speak,my words were around this quote from Edith Wharton:
"There are two ways to spread light. To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it".
After a week where my mentor Darren Hardy challenged me to find my "brand",this quote resonates with me.
Why?
My name is Spiegel....in German mirror.
It is not a far stretch for me to understand how I might go about illuminating the world.My name defines it.
I am sure in the weeks to come, I will use my internal candle to shed some light on how I can reflect my light and be the person I was meant to be.Heading into this High holiday season,this is what seems to be at the core of my search for a path to tomorrow.
How do I spread that light?
One hell of a question!
I am pretty sure last night was another step in the right direction.
Each table had a centerpiece last night, a potted plant sitting on a mirror with a tea candle for each person in attendance. 
I know kind of corny right?
Not really. Subtle might be a better way to phrase it.Around each candle was a wristband with the inscription"be the candle or be the mirror that reflects it.".
I thought it was a nice touch on my part.
The reason I share this with you is if you would like I can send you one. Just send more your address and I will mail one out to you. 
Who knows?
It may be the start of a movement.
As I sit here typing away both of my arms are adorned with wristbands. The one on my left arm which I have been wearing for quite a while says GRATITUDE in English and in Hebrew. Now my right wrist reads "Be the candle....."
They both serve as daily reminders to be .
No matter how foul my mood,no matter how bleak things seem,and no matter what ever else is going on,simply glancing down at either arm brings me back to what is really important to me.
I would love to share this with you.
Shavua Tov!

This is the Life we have chosen.....

I just got home from shul where the Rabbi's sermon was about one of my favorite topics....CHOICE!
It was so refreshing hearing about this from some place other than in my own head.
CHOICE
It's a word that should be accompanied by "personal responsibility".
I hear it all the time.
I had no choice.
What choice did I have?
It wasn't my choice it was just meant to be.
Seriously,at what point do we admit to ourselves that every thing is about the choices we make.
You don't like a situation, choose to change.
You don't like where you are in life?
Choose to move from there.
Every thing is a choice.
It's not your environment.
It's not your heredity.
They may factor in,however it still comes down to the choices we make.
I have a propensity to be overweight.
I choose to deal with that on a daily basis.
The moment I choose to step out of bounds in my food protocols, there is a price to be paid.
Still I have the choice to address it or not. To choose healthy foods or not.To have a little extra or not.
I watch as little news on the television as I can. Just enough to keep myself informed.
Again a choice.
I choose not to buy in to the constant barrage of negativity that the media spews out. I grab the facts (not the headlines) and move on.
Choice!
There is a situation sitting on my desk that I must deal. There is a bit of immediacy about it. The way I handle it is my choice.
Panic,fear,anxiety,depression....all choices. None of which I am willing to make.
Tonight Susan and I will be honored by our community.It is by all accounts a big deal.
People have approached me for the last few days and asked "are you ready,are you excited?"
I suppose I have chosen to be excited in my own quiet way. I am as ready as I think I can be,what ever that means. 
The community chose us for this honor.
For our own very private reasons, we chose to accept this honor.
When I step back and ask myself how this all came about,I am left understanding it is a recognition and a culmination of the choices we have made in out lives.
I imagine that's what makes the whole experience so special.
To paraphrase Hyman Roth in The Godfather...
"This is the life we've chosen".....
It's been a good choice and a good life!

 

Shabbat Shalom!

Someday....

So here we are,another How am I doin' Friday!
 I am doing fantastic!Seriously,amidst all of the questions and uncertainties of  life, I find myself in a place of contentment. Is everything in my life perfect?I suppose so.I woke up today....that's a great start!
Can Life get any better? 
One can only hope!It truly is all about attitude.I could say...well I made it through another week.
Or maybe,life is okay but....
Or things could be better if....
All legitimate options and ways of looking at things.
I choose an attitude of gratitude.
As the t-shirt says:
"Life is good!"
Last night I went on my first job interview in 35 years.
It was a group setting where the interviewers asked us some exploratory questions to get a feel for who each one of us were.Obviously there were no right or wrong answers. It was a get to know you kind of process.
20/20 hindsight (okay I hate that term!)....I think if I am ever in a situation like that again, I might show up differently.Not that I was disingenuous in my answers or in how I portrayed myself.Look, there are many facets to our personalities. For some reason in this setting,( I was the only male in a group of 7) my coach/leader/entrepreneur/ side came out a lot.
It was in stark contrast to the others in the room.Not that it didn't blend. It was obvious to me that as subdued as I was I couldn't help but be me.
My mentor Darren Hardy has spent the last 3 days discussing developing your own personal brand.This has been a stumbling stone for me for quite a while.
Who am I?
What is my why?
What do I convey to those around me?
How am I viewed when I step out into the world?
Someplace deep with in me, I know the answer to all of these questions.
Articulating it and bringing it to the forefront? 
That has been my challenge.
Dealing with the mundane and often trivial challenges life presents has also played a roll in distracting me from what I know is my passion in life.
All in due time.
My brand is still nebulous to me.
 I feel it.
It grows on a daily basis. 
What was once completely buried grows brighter and brighter every day.
As it intensifies, so does my desire to bring it out,to share it and to pass it along.
One thing I do know...what was once an "I have no clue" has become "I think I get it" and hopefully the day will come when I can say "Aha!".

Shabbat Shalom!

Be Prepared!

I'm finishing up my last cup of coffee of the Summer. By the time you read this, it will officially be Fall.I'm ready for the change.Maybe not prepared,but certainly ready!
here is a big difference.I have been ready for a change for quite some time. Being ready is a passive state of being.
Preparing for change is a proactive position. It's setting an agenda and following through on it. It means having some sort of a plan.Preparing for change is an action.
It means you have to go buy the lottery ticket.
When there is a knock at the door, you answer it. Sitting idly by and wondering who is on the other side of the door leaves a lot unanswered .
Opportunity knocks many times, but you have to answer when it does.
Speaking of opportunities, today seems to be loaded with them.
I have a interview at 6 p.m.
I am sending out a resume and cover letter today to another opportunity.
I have a teleconference at 10 and another at 8 pm. There is a half day retreat on Saturday that I may just register for today as well.
I also have a few conversations that I will make happen today. Conversations that on the surface may feel a bit daunting. I think not engaging in them only creates uncertainty. Once the conversation takes place, there are no longer any hob-goblins lurking in the shadows. A light has been shed on the issue and I can then deal with it.
I am super excited today.
In the last 48 hours I have reconnected with some people from my life that have been missing for a very long time.
In a text, one such person commented that he regrets the time lost. 
You know me.....no regrets....only gratitude for the gift of reconnecting!
It will be months before we can see each other in person. I look forward to that time and will use the interim to build the bridge that will hopefully span the chasm of our time apart.
The Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepare
(It says nothing about be ready)
I'm ready for some change......and I am working at preparing for the changes that will come.

Turn, Turn, Turn!

I have not experienced a night like last night in a very long time.I mean like decades. I put my head on my pillow at around midnight and I did not open my eyes again until 6:30 this morning. I can not remember when the last time I slept through the night.
If not for the fact that it was Wednesday, my morning to go to shul, I might have enjoyed the experience of laying in bed and taking in the evening's rest I had just experienced. Instead, I popped out of bed,jumped in the shower and got my day started fairly abruptly.
As I showered and got myself together, I took stock of where we are on the calendar. Summer officially ends tomorrow . At 10:21 tomorrow,Autumn begins.
We are 11 days away from Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year.And for those of us in the Halloween business,we have less than 7 weeks of selling left.
Suddenly everything seems transitional.
The season,the calendar,as well as my attitude are changing.
I've been here before. We've had this discussion before. It bares repeating. Summer will surely follow Spring. It will then give way to Autumn and eventually we will be weathering yet another Winter with the knowledge that just as predictably there will be a new Spring again.
It is inevitable.
Was it not just yesterday that we were in the grips of the oppressive heat and humidity of the dog days of Summer?
It feels like it. And yet here we are, once again, in that place of transition.
It's harvest season. It's time to collect the bounty of all that we have worked so hard at. It's time appreciate,and soon,time to give thanks, for some starting next week and for others later on in the season as well.
After a brief time of allowing myself some space to enjoy all that this time of year has to offer, I must remember that this season will also come to a close and I must prepare for the unstoppable reality that we call Winter.
For now however, I will make sure to enjoy and to give thanks for the abundance that is my life .
The temperatures will begin to cool, and the colors will soon begin to change. The leaves will eventually start to fall. And soon enough, a new season will once again be upon us.
One season truly does follow another!

Just a little house keeping!

Today feels like a great day to address some of the little things that I may have overlooked lately. While driving to the shop today, I heard an ex-client on the radio (she's a radio personality). I had not spoken to her since April so I reached out just to say hello and see how she was doing.She was thrilled to hear from me and delighted to share how well she is doing.Awesome!
I had an email from someone I am working with on an upcoming project. His email reminded me that I needed his assistance on what I am trying to institute,so I just asked.
I have a few things I want to get organized for Saturday night so as soon as rush hour traffic subsides,I will go take care of them.
I had texted my trainer a couple of times two weeks ago and never heard back......time for a follow up today!
All loose ends,dropped balls or missed opportunities.
Like I said, today feels like a good time to address some of these.
I don't know how "productive" or "useful" any of this will be. It just feels energetic. Kind of like picking up after yourself. There is nothing more insidious than unattended clutter.It makes everything appear disorganized, unkempt and neglected. 
Walk into my son's room and you know exactly what I mean! 
(Just kidding Max!....no seriously....pick up some of the crap laying around!)
There are some things that I can't get to today.One of my counterparts is out of town. Another doesn't work on Tuesdays.
No matter..there are plenty of other dropped articles that can be picked up, folded and put away.
Summer is actually coming to a close. Autumn officially arrives in 48 hours. 
As I said, today really does feel like a great day to tie up loose ends, pick up after myself and get ready for what ever comes next.

The Long and Winding Road!

As I sat listening to my daily mentoring with Darren Hardy, I couldn't help to recognize that his message today seemed to be in direct conflict with what I am working with in my work with mindfulness.
Growing ,stretching and learning in pursuit of a more successful life seems to be diametrically opposite from the 7 foundations of mindfulness .
Darren is intense,driven and a force to be reckoned with.Mindfulness by its very nature feels like it falls completely on the other side of the spectrum. 
For a moment, I found myself slumped in my chair,saying to myself"Wow....now I'm totally lost!".
Enter foundation principal number 1:

Non-Judgement-Be an impartial witness to your experiences and the judgments and reactions that arise. Learn to step back from your ideas and opinions,likes and dislikes.
Interesting!
These two seemingly contrasting ways of being are actually complimentary. Incorporating mindfulness into my interaction with those I engage with as well as how I go about my daily activities is a huge asset.Instead of reacting ,I can respond.Frustrations give way to new ways of looking at things. Acceptance opens up new bridges to opportunities rather than dealing with the barricades that might naturally appear.
Enter foundation principal number 3:

Beginner's Mind: See everything as if it were for the first time with curiosity and openness.
This will be an easy one simply because incorporating all of this is so new to me.If I were not fascinated I imagine I would be frustrated.Instead I am nervously excited by this turn in the road of life that has brought me to where I am today.
And now the Journey continues.........

Let it be!

For about a year and a half, I have been working with the concept of Mindfulness. The meditation I attend at Ramapo College is sponsored by The Krame Center for Contemplative Studies and Mindfulness.
Besides the weekly meditation, I have also attended a number of lectures as well.
When the resources allow me to, I intend to enroll in some of their more in depth programs. I find that this Mindfulness thing resonates with me,even though admittedly I do not know much about it.
Until I have the opportunity to further my education at a formal institution of higher learning,there are plenty of resources available to me for free, including books on the subject.
One such offering is a book called Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat Zim. Mr. Zim is regarded as the father of the study and practice of mindfulness.With little on my plate yesterday, I listened to Chapter one of this audio book. I was re-introduced to the 7 foundation principles of mindfulness.
That's when I had my aha moment of the day. Principle #4 is to be non-striving.
Okay what does that mean?
Mr. Zimm explains.......
We are doers. We always want to be doing something. We believe if we do this or that then we will eventually have that which we are chasing. Or get to where we think we want to be. Or achieve some "thing" that will make us feel accomplished.
Mindfulness is living in the here and now of this moment. Not the one that just passed or the one that is going to happen. The immediate right now!
Just let it be!
What a concept.
Mr.Zim reminds us we are Human BEings,not human doers.
Not doing is a very very difficult task for me.
The concept of let it be is almost a foreign one.
For me this is a major work in progress. The good thing that Mr.Zim points out is thatthe more we practice this way of BEING, the more we understand that we are not good at it.Being is not something we master, it is something we accept and accept some more and then accept some more.
This one little passage was a real light bulb moment for me.Today,I am on to chapter 2.I realize that by the time I finish these lessons I will be ready.....to start again from chapter 1!
Shvua Tov!

I need a hobby!

On the way to drop Susan at the shop I mentioned that I didn't know what I was going to do today.She suggested "how about you do nothing.....you've had a long week and maybe you should just rest?"
I quickly responded saying that did not feel like a very productive way to spend my day.I returned home,cleaned out a slew of emails,straightened up the kitchen and then sat down to write with thoughts of what new endeavor could I possibly engage myself in. The next thing I knew, I was overcome with drowsiness.
Dear Lord no way! I am not going to just go and take a nap. What a supreme waste of a totally perfect day to accomplish something.
Now I am sitting here totally distracted. 
What's wrong with just chilling out?
What's right about just chilling out?
Why does every day have to be productive?
Why wouldn't you want every day to be productive?
Why can't I just enjoy life?
Why isn't being productive seen as being enjoyable?
See what I mean?
Maybe I should get a hobby?
Yeah....I'm not a hobby kind of guy.
This is not an unfamiliar place for me. I have been here before, in fact more times than I can count.Like any good farmer who understands what it takes to grow a bumper crop, I am staring at the ground beneath my feet and wondering why this dirt that has, in the past been so fertile,suddenly seem to be hard,dry and arid.
I am also feeling a bit weathered by age.
The spring in my step is not quite as bouncy today.
Getting going takes a bit longer .
Once I get moving,it just doesn't feel as energetic as I remember.
I suppose I could entertain my wife's sage advice and take it easy for a day.
Then again, I could just suck it up, pull up my farmer jeans and get back to plowing the fields of success.
Guess which one I'm gonna do?
Shabbat Shalom!

How uncomfortable!

After flying back and forth across the country and spending the majority of the week away from home, I am glad to see that my weight has basically held steady .With a another two weeks to go on my current cycle,I am okay with where I am . Now that I am back home, I can pick up where I was when I left and finish this cycle strong.
Excellent!
While I was away, I found myself wide awake at around 2 a.m one morning. Going down to the casino was not an option. Grabbing something to eat, also was not part of the program, Instead, I decided to watch some television. As I was channel surfing I found a movie that was just starting. The movie was "School Ties" ,the story of a Jewish teen athlete recruited to play football for a Catholic Prep High School ,set in the 1950's.
I had seen this movie when it first came out in 1992.It reminded me of some of the crap I endured growing up in the 60's and into the 70's.This time however, the movie brought up a whole different view of what my experience (as the lead's experience) was growing up as a Jew in our great nation.
A person of color can not hide the fact that he is a black man. There is no getting away from this and from the inception of any relationship it is on the proverbial table.
Not so as a Jew. I can be just another average white guy.....just like all of the other average white guys. Until......
Lunch is served and all they have are cheeseburgers.
Or that really pretty girl that you had such a nice time with asks which church you attend.
Or some one makes a wise crack.  
Now what do you do?
Suddenly everything changes.Either I have to come clean and open myself to what ever comes next, or choose to hide that "little" tidbit of information.
In either case, it almost always came at a cost.
It's something I have experienced and dealt with more times than I care to remember as I grew up.
There are still to this day, those occasions where I find myself facing these same episodes.
It is never pleasant. It is never fun.
As I approach 62,I am confident enough and committed enough to know exactly who I am.
As a child or a teen or even a young adult trying to find my way and my place in this world, it was as this movie reminded me ,all too often a very painful and uncomfortable experience.
Shabbat Shalom!

It's good to be home!

Good morning! I just flew in from Las Vegas and boy are my arms tired! Actually, I flew in from Las Vegas via San Francisco. I landed at around 7 a.m. and I did not sleep a wink on my flight.
I have been awake since 2 a.m. Pacific time yesterday It has not hit me yet ,however I do realize that at some point today, I will just run out of gas.My body is reacting to the combination of lack of sleep and the cool temperature here. Drinking water is a challenge and all I really want to do is find energy in foods like fats and carbs (not a great game plan!).
It is now 10:30,which means I have been awake for over 29 hours now. My plan is to finish out the workday,have some dinner, take a nice hot shower and then get to bed by around 9 tonight.We'll see how that works out.
In the meantime, it's good to be home!
The trade show I attended was anything but spectacular. In fact,it may have been one of the worst attended slowest shows I have ever been to.The lack of energy generated at the show certainly is not helping to lift the charge in my batteries.Add a dose of way to much coffee churning away in my gut and you can well imagine I am not at my best right about now.
Still,it's good to be home!
While I was away, I could not listen to my daily mentoring from Darren Hardy or my Minute with Maxwell word of the day.It felt good to have access to these resources once again this morning.
In Darren's message he discussed the Chinese proverb...
"The temptation to quit is greatest just before you are about to succeed".
How extraordinarily apropos this is after the week I have had.
By the time I spoke to my brother late yesterday afternoon, I was well on my way to being very sad.Try as I might to make the best of my trip, I found little ,if anything at all, to lift my spirits. If quitting were in my nature, this trip might well have been the straw that would have broken not only my back,but my spirit as well.
Like I said, it's good to be home. 
I am sitting here in a cold empty house.Susan and Max are off at work and Becky won't be in for a few hours still.I just closed the windows, and turned the boiler on. Normally 68 degrees would not bother me , however given the other factors,I will indulge myself and warm things up a bit.The dogs greeted me vociferously for about 10 minutes and are now enjoying their normal morning siestas.
It is really good to be home!
There is one awesome take away from this 4 day trip to Sin City.
My September Word of the Month is "THRIFTY" and boy was I ever. 43 nights'and 4 days away from home and here is my tab:
Air fare ....................................$0.00 (I used miles!)
3 nights in a luxury hotel room..... ..................$33.60 total (I called in a favor!)
3 dinners................$62
Lunch ................Free! (supplied by the show!)
Coffee with a vendor.......$16.
Shuttle and tip to and from the airport......$20
Add in a new hoodie (I was freezing on the plane) I spent less than $160!
Now that's what I call thrifty!
With all of that in mind....guess what?
It's still good to be home!

Lucky me! 

I get to go to Las Vegas for a trade show today. Okay,Yes, I am being sarcastic.I rarely look forward to these trips and this one is no exception to that. I don't enjoy being away from my family.I don't enjoy the travel. I certainly don't need the added expense. This show is the International Lingerie Show. Sounds like I should be in for a good time,however trust me, it's not as much fun as one might imagine.
I know that a dramatic shift in my attitude towards this trip will serve me well. Once I hit the send button on this email, I will work at making that transition. I think I just wanted to get my ill will out of my system. Even as I sit here banging away at the keys, I am experiencing a shift in my attitude. 
It is what it is. Another trade show. Another flight and another opportunity to move from where I am in this moment to where I will be sometime in the future.
Mostly I wanted to let you know that I won't be around for a few days. Wifi is an expense in Las Vegas. When I travel to other parts of the country hotels always have business centers where I can check in on my emails and conduct business in some sort of ordinary fashion. Vegas charges for all of this, so basically, I cut back for the next few days to "only really important" stuff.
I travel light so no lap top. I do have a smart phone so I will of course check my emails. I will communicate daily with my office making sure that every thing is being handled. As the meal maker in my house, I actually pre-packed and pre-planned meals while I am away. Yes, I know, I am sure they would have figured it out themselves. I also know that I enjoy doing it and there were a number of left overs that I wanted to use up and not have them end up in the trash.
I am half way through my current 40 day cycle so my meals in Vegas have been a source of concern for me. I checked out the menus at the hotel restaurants and there isn't a whole lot for me to choose from. If I were not alone and eating a full spectrum of foods, there is a nice Israeli restaurant not far from where I am staying. However given the limited range of foods I am currently eating, that's probably not going to be a choice I make this trip.
My flight is at 7:40 tonight so my day will be mostly packing and hanging around until I have to leave for the airport. Maybe I can get the pool closed up before I go. That would really give me a sense of accomplishment.
So, timeto pack. I'll miss writing to you while I am gone. I look forward to catching up later on in the week. In the mean time, I hope you have a great one!
Shavua Tov!

Reach out and touch someone!

On my way to the store to buy what I would need to prepare yesterday's Shabbat dinner, my phone rang. I did not recognize what I knew to be a Maryland phone number by the area code. Since I have a number of customers in that area I answered the call. (I normally ignore numbers I don't know and see if they leave a message).
For some unknown reason this time I chose to answer.
The strong voice on the other end greeted me with unbridled enthusiasm.
"David,is this you?I am so happy to have found your number!"
"I just got the temple bulletin and I am looking at this picture of you and Susan and I am so thrilled for you".
The voice at the other end of the phone was from a long time temple member who had moved away from the area a few years ago.She and her husband are contemporaries of my parents. Their story is one of those remarkable ones that are told from a generation that experienced one of the greatest tragedies the world has ever encountered. Eventually they ended up here in America and built a wonderful life,raised a beautiful family and lived what can only be called the American dream.
The traces of her accent are still strong, as strong as the energy in her voice. We chatted as 2 friends would. She asked about my family, recalling every one's name.She asked about my brother and sister. She inquired if I still lived on Brookfield and if my brother was still on Diaz.
A woman of 90 with a memory sharper than mine.She was genuinely excited to catch up with me, to fill me in on her family. She told me of her husbands health and how dementia has robbed him of who he once was.And just as mater of factly continued on with how well she was doing. 
There was not one iota of woe is me.Not a hint of remorse, regret or yearning for what once was and will never be again. She spoke with conviction about today and tomorrow, barely even mentioning bygone days.She spoke briefly about my parents of blessed memory and then moved on to more important things like "what's new?" "How is every one?" "Are you still working" and she couldn't wait to hear about the new shop.
And just that quickly she said she would let me go.....she was sure I was busy with work and getting ready for Shabbat.
She just wanted to congratulate Susan and myself on being honored the way we are later this month. 
I have no idea when or even if, we will ever speak again. It doesn't matter. What matters is that I will remember her phone call the rest of my life.
A gesture as simple as picking up the phone.
Unbelievable!

Shabbat Shalom!

Just what I needed!

It's day 18 of my current 40 day cycle and another How am I doin' Friday. Well, I'm doing great! I'm back into my 32 slim blue jeans and that's always a good thing!
My weight loss has been incredibly slow over the last 3 weeks,however my attitude has remained positive and I remain focused. I am going out of town for 4 days next week and this is always a challenge. Las Vegas hotels do not feature healthy options for eating as a general rule. Neither do the trade show meals ,normally loaded with pastries,carbs and such.
I do have a plan. Sticking to it will of course be the challenge.
In a meeting yesterday, I discussed abandoning a project that I have been trying to launch for about 2 years.When I first came up with the idea for this project, I of course thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread...a real necessity.The people I am working with were open to the concept however working out the details was a process to say the least. After 2 plus years and many iterations we finally had a viable course of action and were set to launch late this Fall.
All full of myself and happy to have finally been able to move this along, I found myself questioning the value in what I had once been so committed to. 
Is this something that people really want?
What if no one buys in?
Was I so blinded by my desire to make this happen that I overlooked the possibility that there was no real need for this?
When I addressed this with my collaborator and co conspirator he listened intently to my concerns.He nodded as if in agreement looked me in the eye and basically said"we're doing it anyway!....I believe in it's merits!"
Okay! Done deal!
I was ready to give up on it.
I don't know why.
It wasn't a fear of failing...as they say failure was not an option.
Maybe I felt I was wasting my time?
Maybe I was feeding off of some one else's apathy?
Maybe I just needed a little positive feedback and support?
What ever it was is gone.
I have recommitted 100% to making this happen.
I have a ton of groundwork that has to be done in a short period of time. The good news is I have 2 long flights, and two nights in a hotel room with basically nothing else to do. This affords me a huge opportunity to immerse myself in this project with little to no distractions.
I don't know if my partner in this endeavor even realized how much he encouraged me. His nonchalant matter of fact,we're doing this attitude rekindled a fire in me that had all but completely disappeared. 
Sometimes we just need that little something to get us moving. 
A pat on the back,
An "atta boy", 
Or just a "..."Uh...no....we're doing this".,
is all that it takes !

Shabbat Shalom!

I am the answer!

As I sat at my desk listening to today's Minute with Maxwell and enjoying a few quiet minutes and a cup of coffee,I was struck with a thought that may make me seem a bit full of myself.
I'll share it with you:
"I am an undervalued ,under appreciated asset!"
Period...end of statement.
In today's world of mastermind groups and networking groups,review committees, small business communities and round table discussion groups I am an undiscovered, untapped resource.My broad range of knowledge and experience is a veritable goldmine for the anyone who would add me to their team.
I bring a wealth of tools and resources that would normally require 3 or 4 hires.
I am the answer to someone's prayers.
It wasn't until 1859 that man discovered that right under his feet, under the very ground we walk upon, existed a resource that would eventually fuel the World and create an entire economic structure. That is when oil was first discovered.
Imagine that!Oil......right under our feet!
That's the way I see things.
 I am that resource.
I am that source of energy. 
I am that river of a greater tomorrow for the right group. 
They just haven't discovered me yet.
It's just that clear and simple to me now!

Another day, another project!

There is not much on my plate today. I am going to take advantage of that and do some work on a project I committed to a couple of weeks ago . I have not had the time or the clarity of thought to address it since volunteering. Hopefully this down time I seem to have come across will allow me to turn my attention to this and breath some life into what has laid dormant on my to do list for a bit too long.
This is not just busy work.It is a commitment I made. I am a big proponent of doing what I said I would do. Dropping the ball is never an option. And on the rare occasion that I do,picking it up and following through on my commitments is imperative. And not in a halfhearted manner. When I say I will do something that means I will do it enthusiastically and to the best of my ability. It means following through from the beginning until the project is completed.If there is cleanup to be done,make sure I am available to do it. If there is follow up needed, make myself available.All too often I experience a lack of follow through when dealing with the real world. It frustrates the hell out of me. I never want t be the source of that frustration to anyone.I never want to let anyone down. (ooooh...big aha moment).
So that's my plan for today. I am sure as the day progresses other things will pop up for me to address. Becca just called and has me on stand by to help at the shop with a very large dog they have in today. No problem.I will make myself available and then get back to what I set out to accomplish today.
Part of this project requires some creativity on my part. Being creative is not like grabbing a tool from a toolbox. I have not mastered the skill set to just sit and summon inspiration. There is no reservoir of creative thoughts that I can dip my bucket into and draw out what I need. Creativity is more like a river that flows . So today I will ready my raft and position myself in hopes that I can find myself eventually floating along with the currents.
I'm not there yet......so for now,it's on with my day.

Another boring Labor Day!

I took the day off from writing yesterday. It was not a conscious decision, it kind of just evolved. After an early morning workout and a quick nap, Susan and I set about tearing down the family room and cleaning it from top to bottom. Midway through, while she was doing windows, I ran out, picked up a few groceries, and prepared lunch.After lunch we jumped back in and finished off the big room. After that, Susan tackled the bathroom and I took on the kitchen. By the time we finished,it was well after 5. We both sat down for  a well deserved break,watched a movie and then I turned my attention to preparing dinner.
All of this may sound a bit dull and boring.Actually I found it to be pleasantly mundane.The house looks and feels great.
There is something special about starting off your week when your desk and surroundings are neat,clean and organized.
At one point, just before I chose to watch the movie,I thought to myself"I have to write". Then I realized that I don't have to do anything!
And that's exactly what I chose to do.
I hope you have a great week!