Remember,me too!

Once again I find myself sitting at my desk and writing later in the day.I find the challenge in this is that I have already had a very busy day.I have spent the last 10 hours or so living life.What I have not had is any quiet time.I have not had any reflective time.My thoughts are a jumble of what I've already accomplished and what I still have planned.It's times like these when writing feels less like something that flows from me and more like another task I am trying to complete.Somehow that feels less genuine to me.
No wouldof shouldof couldofs involved here.Just an acknowledgement that this is not my preferred writing time or  space.
There is a lesson in this for me.I matter!That's right.I matter.And like finding time to work out, or do chores or make dinner,or everything else I find time for,I deserve the time I set aside daily to communicate with you. No one grants or denies me that time.It is there for me whenever I want to acknowledge its importance and how much I deserve it.
There are loads of excuses and rationalizations I could use as to why I am first taking some time at this late hour to try and write.Bottom line is,I put a whole bunch of things first, which in the end, puts me last.
Putting me first is still a work in progress.I like progress.It's another word for growth.
And I love growth!




Shavua Tov!

Live to fight another day!

Another How am I doin' Friday is here and I am getting along.That may not seem very energetic, however it is actually a great thing.The truth of the matter is with the week I have had,I am good being able to say that I am getting along.Given the events of the last few weeks, including this week,getting along and moving forward is a huge win.
I had plans to get up today,get dressed and head out to services this morning.When the pain in my arm that plagued me all night was actually worse this morning,it became evident that it might be a good idea to step back from my agenda and just take it easy.Notice I did not succumb.I made the conscious choice to let go , even if for just this very short period of time.
Around 3 am,the ever present pain was becoming unbearable once again.I am comforted knowing that eventually it will go away and all of this will be a memory.
It did however leave me to ponder how people in pain,who know that this will be their lot in life until the end of their days,get along?If there were no chance of it ever improving, and if it meant an existence of pain and suffering on a daily basis with out any relief,how does one continue?Those brief moments with friends, loved ones and family, pale in comparison to the countless hours of insufferable solitary pain.The image of a life like that was more than upsetting or unsettling.It was overwhelming.
Thankfully,I know that my current malady,condition and situation will eventually improve.Soon, it will be back to business as usual.That brings me great comfort.It also allows me to let go,again not give in, and give myself space to heal,physically, spiritually and emotionally.
 So today, no shirt and tie. Sweats and slippers are the dress code.
Lose the battle and win the war?
Not at all.I choose to not fight today and live to face another challenge when I am more fit to do battle!
Why engage in a war that I just can't win?
That would be a supreme waste of energy and probably cause more suffering than anything else.
Instead,today I choose to get along!




Shabbat Shalom!

What a pain!

Saturday night as we settled in to begin the second Seder, I noticed a swelling in my left elbow.No pain, Just a swelling.Immediately my thoughts flashed back to last October when I had a similar experience in my right arm.At that time, I was incapacitated for almost 3 weeks,most of it in excruciating pain and discomfort.I was unable to use my keyboard so writing was impossible as were most of my daily functions.The pain was so severe,that I could not sleep or concentrate on even the most menial tasks.It was a horrific couple of weeks.I knew when the swelling flared up again that I was inline for some stormy waters.
I called the doctor's office first thing Monday morning and was able to schedule an appointment for just after noon on Tuesday. Monday afternoon, the familiar discomfort was reappearing and by Monday night,the full blown pain was back.
No excuses,however I am sure that the tree incident on Monday night and my lack of clear headedness due to pain are connected.
It's called bursitis.....it is unbelievably painful, and other than "don't use your arm" there is little to be done other than ride it out. 
Where does it come from? Often it is a trauma related incident. A fall.overuse or being hit by something.In this case,it may be a result of getting into better shape. These joints.my elbows, have been encased in subcutaneous fat for years.Now,with little to no fat layer,constant rubbing and contact with harder surfaces, even the arm of an easy chair, causes a build up of fluids around the joint resulting in a vice like compression ,first around the elbow and then working it's way down my arm to my wrist and fingers.
Getting skinny is so much fun!
People are for ever saying to me"you must feel so much better now that you have lost the weight?"
My response is always the same"......I have stuff that hurts that I didn't even know I owned!"
This is one more example of that.
This too shall pass.....
I am not very good at just doing nothing and quite honestly, I really can't do much.Even writing to you is uncomfortable as well as time consuming.(Hunt and peck with 1 finger on my right hand).
Setbacks? 
They happen.....one more opportunity to get back up and do it again!

Get up!

It was inevitable.
I must have known deep inside that at some point in time I would eventually end up crashing into the wall.Last night was that night.The wall was not exactly what I crashed into.It was actually a tree.The result however was that I actually did crash into that wall which has been confronting me for months.It was not pretty. In fact it was painfully draining. 
In the past I have used the term catasrophise,blowing up a situation in my own mine to catastrophic proportions.Backing Susan's car into a tree, busting out the rear window and causing  over $3000 in damage was bad,not catastrophic.That's why we have insurance. My immediate response was what seemed inappropriately disproportionate.Suffice it to say, it was an ugly upsetting episode. After a short while,I regained my composure enough to reach out to the good hands people and open an accident claim.While on hold,I received an email from a dear friend.In this email,having no idea what was going on at that moment for me, she shared some news of truly life changing events in her life.Trust me, this was not one of those moments where I said to myself "well that puts things into perspective",even though looking back, my smushed up vehicle pales in comparison to her news.It was a comment she made after sharing her news..."......Just wanted u to know if we fall, we plan for the get up that, is what we do".
I read this and the pain subsided, the tears disappeared and I began making plans to "get up" which included getting the car fixed.
The freakin' wall? 
It's still there. Who cares?Somehow, the car will get fixed. Somehow we'll get past or around the wall., just as I always do. And there will be no catastrophe about it.
Fall is spelled F-A-L-L not F-A-I-L!

There are somethings money just can't buy!

When I think about the end results of losing my coaching job, the positives far out weigh the negatives.Obviously the loss of income is a major financial set back I've been there before and survived, I am sure I will once again. I also feel bad for the 100's of clients that I am no longer working with.I know they will be fine. I just feel as if I abandoned them.I also will miss the opportunity to hone my skills as a communicator, coach and mentor.
The pluses however are huge,starting with how much free time I now have. Much like the money I no longer spend on junk food and treats , I have no idea where the extra time has gone,however I was spending hours upon hours daily texting. My morning started at 7 am and I was under heavy text fire until at least 10:30. Then texts would roll in through out the day til way after midnight.It was just not a time thing,. It was stressful and took it's toll on me emotionally.While the majority of my daily texts were fairly banal in that people were just texting their weight and all I had to do was acknowledge,encourage and support,there were still plenty of texts from people who were struggling for any of a host of reasons.In the 15 to 16 hours a day where I was exposed to these texts, unbeknownst to me it was exacting a price on my emotions.
I am also now free to use all of my resources to promote Why Weight.While coaching for a competitor, I had a professional obligation to separate myself from a part of my life that I am passionate about. Now I am free to speak openly about Why Weight,a program that is far superior to what my employers were offering.
The biggest plus is that I no longer have to have the daily conversation with myself around what I believe,professionally,ethically and morally. While coaching for the other company I found myself literally standing in front of a mirror every day and asking myself"why am I doing this?". "How can I continue to do this and stay true to my own sense of right and wrong? " I truly struggled with this.I found my way by ultimately writing a script that allowed me to stick to my own beliefs and understanding of how this program works and putting it in front of my clients in a way that they had the ability to choose which path to follow. I never dismissed or challenged my employers program. Rather, I simply shared what I know worked for myself and 100's of others thus allowing each client to make an educated decision.
That internal conflict is now gone.
 Lastly, in this case, I am no longer working with people I do not care for. In the end, I had no respect for them or the way they handled business.They treated no one with respect. Not the clients, the counselors or the coaches including myself.
Looking back,while I convinced myself that the money was a necessary evil, it was evil money.They were not people of good moral values and I am most definitely in a better place even without their money. 
There are some things ,like self respect, that money can not buy!

The Wall! For a long time now, I have awakened to the same view,a wall. I can't recall how long this has been. It is more than days. or weeks. It has been months, and more than 2 or 3. At first, it was just there,inches away from my face. It overwhelmed me at the time, this wall. It was this enormous facade preventing me from moving forward.Every morning I would open my eyes and there it was again. If I looked up, all I saw was the wall.When I looked to my right or my left,more wall.I stared at the bricks on a daily basis. Soon it became the object of all of my thoughts and energy. How do I get around or over this wall? In the middle of the night, I would wake up and there it was again, the wall. I would try to fall back to sleep,yet my mind would be troubled as to what I should do about this wall.When I did manage to fall back to sleep, I found myself dreaming about the wall, my face getting closer and closer to it increasing its enormity.Before I knew it my entire existence was driven by the presence of the wall.It has become so pervasive in my thoughts, that little, maybe nothing else seems to matter. When I woke up on Friday morning, a few hours before the start of Passover, ,I knew that my time would be filled with final preparations for the holiday and our Seder that night. I left the house at 6 a.m., returned home at 8 and spent the next 10 hours cooking in the kitchen. It was now 6 pm and time to set up tables, seating and begin final preparations. Meticulously and steadily I went about making sure every detail was addressed.Seder....the word means order, and there was definitely an order to my entire day and now as nightfall drew near,the final details were of the utmost importance. My day finally ended a little after 2 a.m.The next morning I was out of the house early and off to services.Sitting quietly and alone with my thoughts, I realized that I had been so busy for the last 28 hours that I had completely forgotten about the wall. Well maybe not forgotten.....it was as if it was not there,as if I had turned away from it and just did not look back.This has continued through the entire holiday weekend.I just have not given any energy in regards to the wall.It has been peaceful and stress-less. I wish I could tell you that I have learned something from this, that tomorrow I will simply wake up and go about my day as if the wall did not exist.Unfortunately, I am not sure that I can guarantee that will happen. What I am sure of is that I know there is more in my life than this freakin' wall. What will this look like tomorrow?  I'll have to wait and see. I just know that I have enjoyed this mental respite and will be aware of what an alternate way of approaching life feels like.

Ready, Set Action!

The dusting,cleaning, sweeping, mopping and straightening is done. The house looks immaculate (by Spiegel standards). The kitchen is completely converted over for Passover. The oven is on clean mode for the next 3 hours. I don't like leaving the house while it is working so I am using this time as an opportunity to catch up with you.
While cleaning my desk area , I found myself putting away stacks of business cards. My cards for Halloweensalses (I have 5 or 5 different ones). My generic one, as well as one with my corporate identity and one for each vendor I work with.
I have my Live 2 XL cards. I Have my Why Weight cards and the Why Weight drop cards. And I have the Grooming Shoppe cards as well .
That's a lot of business cards for one person!
During a break in this morning's action I was on the phone with a friend. As we caught up and discussed what's next for me, I jumped from Halloween and my myriad of responsibilities there, to Why Weight, to the new shop and eventually to my thoughts on a new venture I have been kicking around.
It was in that moment that I had a clear vision as to why my vision is so cloudy. I am spread way to thin and I am not focusing on any one particular thing.
When I lay all of my business cards on the table, the real and the proverbial table, all aspects of my life are important to me. Choosing one over the other right now seems impossible.Prioritizing and making time for all of them makes much more sense. 
There have been times in the past when I have felt comfortable putting one down and concentrating on another.They all do not need immediate or my full attention 24/7.
For instance, last week, the shop took up a lot of hours. It was what needed to be. I did what needed to be done. 
Today, my sense of urgency is around creating income. This is never a good place for growth. Growth comes when I use my energies to promote and facilitate a project that I am passionate about and where I can actually put a plan of action in place.Marching in circles around a challenge that I have no clear vision of is nothing more than wasted motion.
My friend heard my frustration as we spoke. He helped me by offering up a 3 step action plan around my newest venture. 3 simple projects. They would take some time and effort, however it gave me 3 definable tasks. And a 10 day time frame to complete them. I have already started on task number 1. That may be all I get done on this today which is fine. Now I will move on to the rest of my day.
It's a matter of focus and me management (not time management....we all now we can't manage time only how we use it!).
Nothing has changed. Nothing has been resolved. However, now I have a plan of action.

I guess something has changed!

Que sera,sera......or not!

The Universe continues to amaze me!As I was unpacking the Passover paraphernalia last night, I remembered that last year, we shifted our Passover meat pots to every day meat pots. This allowed us to upgrade for everyday, replacing a collection of tired mix and match pots and pans we had acquired over the years. 
Oooops! 
Now we have no meat cookware for Passover! So, added to my to-do's for the day,was finding a new cookware set......and spending more money that I just don't have right now.
Unexpected expenses are killers! 
As I cleaning out emails his morning,I came across a blast from Macy's announcing some super sale. Not being a Macy's shopper, I was just about to hit delete when I remembered that Macy's sells cookware. I opened the email, hit the button that said "kitchen",went to the drop down that said "cookware" and the very first item that popped up was a stainless steel set of pots and pans , normally $119.99...sale price $69.99....today only $29.99. Done deal!Order it on line and I get 6% back from Ebates!
The Universe......it was meant to be!
I awoke troubled at around 4 a.m. today. I remember having left myself a note a while ago to pay PSE&G. I went to my desk, moved my keyboard and there it was. Pay PSE&G April 13th!
 Crap!
There's another coupe of hundred I hadn't budgeted in this week!
I called the pay on line service ,made my way through the appropriate prompts and ended up at the one that said"we received your last payment in the amount of $xxxx on April 13th"!
Again....it was meant to be.
Well guess what? 
No it was not!
We choose to be! 
I firmly believe that our destiny is what we make of it. The opportunities are there if we look long and hard enough. It wasn't just meant to be that I got an email from Macy's. They sent it,I opened it!I could have deleted it and missed it completely.I made a conscious choice to check it out.
PSE&G? I marked my calendar. I planned a payment strategy. Thinking back, I even remember clipping my credit card to the bill on Monday, the 11th, knowing that Becky would be out on Wednesday the 13th. The Bill was due on the 14th, however I new I would be in NY all day that day. It wasn't just meant to be.
I had planned this out thoroughly.
To often I have heard "it is what it is". It was Meant to be". "It is beshert".
That sounds way to much like "there's nothing I can do about it!" "It's out of my hands!". and the absolute killer"I have no choice".
We always have a choice!
And we always have a voice!
There is no such thing as "your lot in life". 
There is only "a lot in life".....if you choose to go and get it!
I know what the rest of my day is going to look like!
How about you?

T-minus 96 Hours and counting!

It seems like just a few days ago when I wrote that we were entering the 30 day period leading up to Passover. Now,with less than 96 hours before we begin the Seder,I am at a loss as to where the time went.I have no doubt that all will come together. It always does.I'm not even stressing anything. ,at least not yet.The house has a different feel to it with both Becca and Sara not living here anymore.There is also a huge difference in the types of foods we now eat,which makes a lot of the pot, pans and utensils a bit obsolete.As I began to unpack , I found myself putting things away knowing full well, I will not be using them this year.A slow roaster.....no need.An electric carving knife....no brisket....no knife needed.A turkey roasting pan......it's Passover, not Thanksgiving (besides I almost never roast my own turkey anymore).Baking racks?Muffin pans?....(Becca's getting a gift!)
Slowly , meticulously and in an orderly fashion things are getting put away.
I also made up my menu for the first 3 days ,so shopping should be a more controlled experience as well.
One might think that this apparent down sizing might be seen as minimizing the holiday experience. Quite the contrary.
It actually is more thoughtful and meaningful. Instead of racing through switching out all of our dishes,pots ,and utensils with the Passover ones, I am taking the time to sort, strategically place and give purpose to each thing I handle, understanding why I have it, what I will use it for and when I will need it . Knowing where it will be when I need it will be key to making preparing for and setting out the Seder meal that much easier and efficient.
I can not begin to convey to you how much I would love to be able to share our Seder with you, to have you join us at our table and experience what has been handed down from generation to generation. And how each generation that has come along has add their own stamp on the Holiday.It is a blessing that compares to no other. No offense to any other holiday we celebrate,Passover is the one singular event that spans generations. It connects me to all of those who came and shared this experience right back to the day when Moses led my people out of slavery and bondage.
As I write this, my thoughts turn to verses and passages that we will soon reread, as we do every year.
The letters which which for years just formed words on pages,all of a sudden have come to life for me.It's truly remarkable,this sense of connection. Connection to all that has come before and all that will follow for generations to come.

Okay......enough of this for now!
I need some sleep!
Tomorrow will be here soon enough....building permits, doctor's appointment,errands,meetings and phone follow ups before I can spend any more time preparing for Friday.
I really can use some rest.
Tight sleep!

A New Day!

As the song says "There's got to be a morning after!". And here we are!

I am not 100% sure of what I should be doing today. I know I am not going to drive up and down the highway stopping and filling out employment applications all day.

I think what I have decided to do is continue on with my life. I have commitments and obviously I have some extra free time now.

My challenge for today is how to use this time productively. Remember,it is a scarce commodity and I want to use it wisely. 

I am currently 4 lessons behind in a weight management certification course I signed up for. 

Objective #1.....catch up on this!

I was asked to spearhead our synagogues Yom Hashoah candle project again.I can't drop the ball on this just because my employment landscape has changed.

Objective #2......Tie up the loose ends on this!

I have also signed up for a series of workshops being launched by my friend and colleague today.

Objective #3...........get in on this workshop call today!

My feet are still screaming at me. My foot doctor has office hours on alternating Saturday's. I have a 50/50 shot that this is the week she is in.

Objective #4...........Try to get in to see her!

There are some supplies we need for the new shop at a store about 20 miles from here. This afternoon Becca and I should both be free.

Objective #5.........head Upstate to get this done!

We have a street fair tomorrow.I think we are in good shape and have all of our ducks in a row.

Objective #6......make sure that we do!

I have some time today so a trip to both the gym and the dry cleaner should be on my agenda.

Objectives 7 &8......gym and dry cleaning!

Dinner....we still have to eat dinner today.

Objective #9......take care of dinner!

There you go.....that seems like a pretty full day, although, why nine? A top 10 list seems much more appropriate.

Objective # 10.........remain positive.....probably the most important thing on my agenda!

I've got all of this covered 

Have a great day!

Shabbat Shalom!

Once more into the breach!

Early this morning my thoughts turned to an email I had written a few weeks ago. At that time, I opined on the 30 day period of preparation for Passover before me,Now that time period has been reduced to a week. I asked myself how much and what exactly have I done over the last 3 weeks to get ready for the upcoming holiday.No excuses are necessary. I have done as much as I could or for that matter felt I needed to up to this point. Now with a week to go, I can schedule out my time and afford as much attention as I need to create the atmosphere for a wonderful yom tov.
I was glad that leading in to the holiday,my 5 ""F's" seemed under control. 
Notice I said seemed!
My day started out in a fury of activity. Our contractor was pushing to get as much done on the shop as possible today.This required my participation in picking up supplies. This would take multiple trips to Home Depot, Lowes and various other supply houses.
It was in the middle of one of these junkets that I was thrown the proverbial curve ball.
My phone rang.
 I looked at the name on it and said to myself"this should be interesting". 
I answered with a smile in my voice. The caller's tone was quite different, reserved and somber.I'll cut to the core here....in essence, the call was "you're fired!"
While it was not delivered quite that abruptly, the bottom line is that at the end of the call I was no longer employed as a weight loss coach. 
Much like when I lost my number one vendor two years ago, my immediate thoughts were not about how unfair or wrong or despicable being unceremoniously dumped was. My thoughts were clear. This is not good. And I need a Plan"B" at once.Bottom line the fifth of my 5 "F's" was now in deep do-do. My immediate challenge is to replace that income. I don't have months or weeks....I have days.
I have no time for panic, stress or depression. There is no time for wallowing in self doubt or self pity.
I spent the rest of my day, clearing my plate and tying up my week. 
In the morning, I will start taking steps to right this current situation.One of my F's is ....well F'd up!
I can not and will not let it derail the other four. In fact,I will draw upon the strength of the other four to help me through this. My Faith,Family, Friends and Fitness will guarantee that in the end, my Finances will be fine.
Of this I have no doubt!

I am sure that tomorrow will bring some new opportunity. With that in mind, I should probably get some sleep to ready myself for my next adventure.



Shabbat Shalom!

Just a stroll in the park!

Maybe I didn't think my day out as well as I might have.My charge for the day was to spend the better part of it in NYC.My plan called for me to park around 26th street , work my way down to see a few customers and swing back,, my last stop before heading home on 21st street. 
Simple!
At least I thought it was. The first leg of my hike took me from where I parked straight down Broadway.....30 some odd blocks!
Not a bad walk. It was a bit chilly in the shade of the buildings,pleasant but nippy.
I got to my first meeting 45 minutes early so I walked a few more blocks until I found a place to by a coffee.
I answered texts for a while and then headed back up to my client.Next I headed over one avenue to Lafayette and back up town about 12 blocks.They weren't open for another 20 minutes so I stood around waiting. (Are you starting to see what is coming?).
After taking a store tour and and chatting for a half an hour it was on to stop #3...another 10 blocks up 3rd ave.I knew that this visit would be more standing around and I was right. After an hour,it was on to what would be my last visit before heading home. This one,10 more blocks and 3 avenues over.As I started to head off to this last appointment I realized that my feet were barking at me. I mean screaming.Now I had a dilemma.Push on or call a cab. Maybe a more prudent choice would have been to hail a taxi,but not Mr. I Won't Quit.
I made it to my customer and eventually headed to my car.My feet .....don't ask.
I felt like an old man. 
Willy Loman!
It made me sad.After all of the hard work,the workouts,the weight loss and the months upon months of working on a better me, it was obvious that no matter how many changes have transpired, the damage to my body that carrying all of that weight for all of those years has taken its toll.
Once in the car, I downed some water and I started feeling better. I sipped water all the way back to Jersey. First one bottle then another.
I came home,spent a few hours working and before preparing dinner, changed into sweats and too k off my shoes.
It's now almost 8 pm.
My feet? They are still sore.
I am no longer sad though.
The pounding on the pavement kicked my butt.
The good news, I didn't give in.
I'll sleep well tonight and by morning, the sore feet will be a memory.
I'll take that!
Anytime!

Is this what Normal feels like?

A short while ago, I wrote about the 5"F's". These are the 5 things that matter most to me in my world.Once again they were Faith,Family,Friends, Fitness and Finances.

On Monday of this week, I addressed the two that were giving me fits, for at least the immediate future. The byproduct is that I have had an extraordinarily productive, fulfilling and stress-less three days. Without the tension that had become so pervasive and overbearing, I have been able to be clear minded,creative and in good spirits. My energy level has grown daily. Even my posture has improved. All of this has created an atmosphere where I have been able to make better decisions as well as to be able to respond to the occasional bump in the road in a very positive way.

There is a part of me that is saying"wow.....so this is what normal feels like!". 

Let me tell you......it feels great!

Do you know what else has dissipated ,that I did not even know had surfaced again? My old nemesis .....FEAR!

Towards the end of last week, I had noticed that I was developing a facial tick again.I convinced myself that it was because I was tired. I knew better. It was stress.My back was tightening up and I was having other familiar symptoms from a time in my past that I would prefer to not revisit.

I was even beginning to worry about my own mortality.

Today, on a bright sunny, Spring day, much of that has vanished,at least for the time being.As I write, those "bumps" on the road are once again coming at me. You know what I mean.....those unexpected unplanned things that pop up placing demands on that valuable resource time. Thanks to the calm I have been experiencing this week, I can once again, handle these unexpected road hazards and move deftly on with my day.

It feels nice.....really nice.

If in fact this is what"normal" feels like,sign me up!

Seriously.....I could get used to this!

All's well that ends well!

Before I even had the opportunity to make my schedule for the day, I was off to the races. I had mentally started my list of"to be accomplished today" items when I ran out the door to my first agenda item.It was a fabulous meeting and should have set the tone for a remarkable day. As I headed home to regroup and set the rest of my day in order, I got a phone call which diverted me to a task that had actually been on my calendar for 6 pm....not noon!
That one veer in he road led to another and another and before I knew it , it was 6 pm and I finally had a chance to come up for air!
Had I been able to put my tasks for today on paper, I would now realize that I actually accomplished everything that I set out to do.
Instead of scheduling them out in an orderly fashion, they all were completed in the midst of a day that can be described as nothing less than a windstorm.
All on a day,when I had basically shut down my office and believed that the by product of that would be a nice leisurely afternoon.
Boy was I mistaken!
All's well that ends well I suppose ,however man am I tired. 
I almost opted to take a break before preparing dinner and write to you after I had a chance to relax.
Susan called and said she would be home later than expected ,which gave me the opportunity to begin writing.
For a guy who doesn't believe in multi-tasking, I am actually coming as close to it as possible.
Write a line or two, check the grill. Finish a thought,,check the grill.Salad is on the table. Veggies and pasta are in the crockpots keeping warm. The table is set and the dishes are done.Now I have turned the flames down allowing the chicken to finish baking to just the right degree affording me some quiet time to finish off this email.

Don't you just love it when a plan comes together!

This feels done to me now. And probably the same can be said for the chicken.
Let's catch up again in the morning.
Have a great night!
 

April Word of the Month:
Friendly

Friendly..... it seems like a word with such an obvious meaning. I consider myself friendly. at least I thought I was. I Googled the word friendly.Synonyms like affable, approachable, demonstrative,gregarious and outgoing stood out.

Hmmmm,maybe I am not as friendly as I thought I was? 

I am a good friend.If I look back over the last 3 words of the month,and use them as a standard to assess my friendship ability, I would consider myself a good friend,Trustworthy,Loyal and Helpful.
Being a good friend is not the same as being friendly.
More synonyms: affectionate,easygoing,communicative,sociable.
My goodness, I don't really think I am all that friendly!
At least I have not been in the past. I have often been standoffish,quiet, reserved,unflappable,and sullen.
I would get annoyed when I was accused of not smiling.
I often felt left out.
I never felt like I was a part of the group,more like I was adjacent to any gathering of friends.
This is still a work in progress for me. I am beginning to understand that I play a significant role in this. I am learning how to be friendly. No doubt I know how to be a friend. My challenge is to become friendly.
My mentor Darren Hardy  offered up a great lesson on this recently. The message was simple.
 Be First!
When you meet someone, be first to shake a hand .
 Be first to say hello. 
Be first to say "Hi my Name is David! What's yours?"
Some other tips:
Sit in the front row!
Be first to the buffet and invite others to join you.
Hold open doors and acknowledge the other person.
Stand up straight!
Dress nicely.
Greet everyone!
And for goodness sakes smile!
Smile like you are happy.
Smile like you mean it!
Smile because you can!
It is amazing just how friendly a smile can be.
I saw a picture of my friend Kevin on Facebook.
Okay....he's a friendly guy!
Kind of makes me jealous.How does he do it? We've been friends for well over 40 years. You would think some of that would have rubbed off by now!
Maybe I listened to the wrong kind of music...there's nothing friendly about Simon and Garfunkel's "I am a rock"or 'Sounds of Silence".
Whatever it was that has kept me from being friendly in the past is changing. I now understand that being friendly has nothing to do with being a friend.I even know people who come off as friendly who are as shallow and disingenuous as one can possibly be.They aren't friends,they are just friendly (Some people call them politicians!)
I honestly believed they were one in the same. Today I understand the difference.
I have no reservations as to how good I am at being a friend. That is an undeniable fact.
Being friendly?
I must admit.....I still have a lot of work to do there.

There's probably a book in there somewhere....
"The Art of Being Friendly"

HMMMMMM!

No Foolin'!

So what is it on this How a  Doin' Friday that has me in such a pensive state?For quite a while now I have become increasingly uncomfortable being with me.When I sat down at my desk today and started to change the calendar to April,I saw that I could not even find my desk top. Papers had piled up,stacks of bills and just a complete sense of disorganization.By the side of my bed, laundry which either needed to be hung up or sorted for either dry cleaning or the wash covered the floor.And the jeans that I had been wearing for lord knows how long were in  desperate need of washing.
None of the little things that I normally work so hard at keeping on top of were getting done.
Why?
Something has me unsettled.Something is making me uncomfortable. As I drove away from my first appointment of the day, I reflected on the fact that I was getting ready to leave for Las Vegas on Sunday. So in the last few weeks I have been to New Orleans,Nashville, Ft. Worth and now off to Las Vegas. 
Pretty good life no?
Actually for me....no is correct. These are all nice places . Tourist spots for millions!
However none of that is important to me. Being there does not make me happy. 
So what does?
What is important and what does make me happy?
The 5 F's!
Faith, Family, Friends ,Finances and Fitness!
It all boils down to these 5 things for me.Now I don't intend to get all preachy over them, especially the faith part. They all have different meanings to different people. For me, these all tie together and when anyone of them is out of sync, so am I.
And there it is.
One or some of these 5 F's are misfiring for me. There is some sort of tension or unrest in at least one of these areas of my life.
I kind of know which one(s). As a matter of fact, I see clearly how one is affecting others.My challenges are a) how to bring them back into alignment and b) how to weather the storm until I do.
Back to Darren Hardy's message of a few weeks ago. 
If a task doesn't fall under my 3 most important goals for the week, get rid of it. It's just a waste of time....busy work.
That seems to be a good place to start.
It is just after 6 pm. That means that in a very short while we will sit down for Shabbat dinner. 
Family& Faith?
 Check!
Friends?....once again, I am belssed. 
Finances and Fitness?
Well we have a lovely healthy meal on the table and the bills for the we are paid and the lights are still on for today . For the immediate present, all is right in my world.
I guess I can't ask for anymore than that!

Shabbat Shalom!