Rainy Days and Mondays

"That best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love."

William Wordsworth

Rainy days and Mondays..........today happens to be both.

The great thing about this is that neither one is bringing me down.

As a matter of fact,I find that I am in an unbelievably good place today.

I feel fairly well rested. My daily aches and pains are minimal today.My schedule has stabilized after a hectic holiday week last week.All things considered , it's a pretty good day in Davidvillle.

I may be the exception to the norm today. Every person I have encountered so far this morning has complained about the weather. Trust me,it's cold wet grey and stormy outside. I have already changed my sweatshirt 3 times.The winds are significant and having a real effect on my bus.

None of this has anything to do with my mood.

In act, when I think about the words of the Carpenters song I am a bit concerned.If the weather or the day of the week has the ability to "bring me down", I would really be in trouble. If waking up to rain started my day off in a bad mood, what chance do I have of having an awesome day?

If the fact that it's a Monday brings me down, I might just as well stay in bed!

No,rain sleet or snow has no bearing on my attitude.

Neither does the day of the week.

Rainy days are an atmospheric phenomenon.

The day of the week is just that,a day on the calendar.

My attitude is mine to choose and today that just happens to be a great one!

Never Tap Out

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”

Dalai Lama

Here's the deal.

I know that I am not always the most talented person in the room. I may not be the smartest in the group either.I may not be the strongest or the most gifted or the most athletic or the most insightful.The one thing I can be sure of is that I will never quit. I will never give up and I will never give in.It mat be a bit foolish on my part, however,it's just part of who I am.

Stick with the job until it's done.

Go the extra mile.

Never accept good enough.

Be the last man standing.

I have always been the guy who unlocks the door at the start of the day as well as the guy who turns the lights out at day's end.

It's part of my DNA.

Unfortunately,at 65 ,there are times when my body and my mind are not always on the same page of the playbook.

Being true to myself,and not always making the wisest choice, my spirit has stayed committed forcing my body to never tap out.

Ignoring the aches pain and fatigue I somehow manage to keep pushing on, choosing to say yes instead of no. Choosing to opt for why not instead of why.Making the choice to step up instead of step away from a challenge or opportunity.

At this point in my life, I have to wonder if this is an attribute or a liability?

I have to tell you, at this point I am not 100% sure.

I just know that it goes against every instinct I have to quit.

At least not until the job is done.

Happy ST. Stephen's Day!

"You can have, do or be anything you want."

Joe Vitale

Today, December 26th, is St. Stephen's Day. Who knew?

I kind of feel bad for the guy. The day after Christmas? No wonder he gets overlooked. Although not in Alsace-Moselle,Austria,The Balearic Islands,Bosnia, Herzegovina,Catalonia,Croatia,the Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Germany, Hungary, the Republic of Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Montenegro, Norway, the Philippines, Poland, Romania, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Sweden, Ukraine, and Switzerland.Some countries such as Australia, Canada, South Africa and the United Kingdom,celebrate Boxing Day today.Since I was never a fan of Boxing Day, I am choosing to recognize today as St. Stephen's with the Baltic States .

I think we can start some new traditions if we can get enough people involved!

Who knows, maybe someday it will be recognized right up there with Festivus and Groundhogs Day!

I don't know about you, but I can certainly use a day off after Christmas.Of course next year that day will happen to fall on Shabbat so there you go,the extra day off!

In case you haven't picked up on it, I can really use another day off. We are down a driver this week, so my Friday will once again be spent working.I'm a little beat up and an off day with nothing planned and no responsibilities will be a welcome gift. Marking my calendar....Friday January 3rd!

Anyone taking bets as to whether or not that actually happens?

We'll just have to wait and see.

Keep Telling the Stories!

"We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are."

Calvin & Hobbes

I have thought long and hard before choosing my message for the year.

As was the case for the last two years, there was an aha! moment that sealed the deal for me.

I have always believed in the importance of the Hebrew word

Zachor-to remember.

It has been a cornerstone in the foundation of my beliefs.

Remember who I am,where I came from and how I came to be where I am.

Recently, with the passing of a dear friend, I was reminded that while our memories are important, it is equally if not more important, to share those memories.

We share them by telling and retelling the stories.

Our memories will last only as long as we do.

The stories told when sharing those tales will last for generations..

Keep telling the stories.,over and over again.

They will get passed along.

L'dor vador!

From generation to generation.

Keep telling the stories.

Like any good story, the more you tell it, the larger the fish that got away gets.

That's more than okay. It's the stuff legends are made of.

And who doesn't want to be legendary!

Don't let those cornerstones that are the foundations of our lives become gravestones when we are no longer here.

Keep Telling the Stories!

Let them be a light for generations to follow.

Let them be the cornerstones and building blocks for everyone whose lives we touch.

Keep Telling the Stories!

A short story

"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."

John E. Southard

45 years ago today,Friday,December 20th,1974.

There was this party.

In walked this girl.

She had these great legs.......................

Am I one of "those" people?

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;”

(From JRR Tolkien’s “The Fellowship of the Ring”)

Since graduating from college and entering the workforce,I have rarely been in the position I found myself this week. Being the"boss", scheduling how and when I worked was alwayson me.If I had to make a doctor's appointment, I would clear an appropriate time and that would be that.If I needed to be somewhere, I could always rework my schedule and make those arrangements. My time,as well as my schedule was mine to make and keep.

This week, I found myself at odds with that which had never been an issue for me in the past.A dear friend's dad passed away. Of course I wanted to attend the funeral. This had never been a problem for me before. I would simply adjust my schedule, make sure everything was covered and go.

Unfortunately, that's not what happened for me this time.By the time I knew when the funeral would be,I had less than 24 hours to find someone to cover for me at work. When I became a full time employee and now had a paid vacation, I knew that a situation like this would arise. We don't have anyone to do my job.Given enough lead time, I believe we can and will be able to piece together a contingency plan. However in this particular instance, I found myself having to make some tough choices.

Option 1 was to say"the heck with this, I'm going and let the chips fall where they may and go".

Option 2 was to skip the funeral, knowing full well that I would be able to visit during the shiva.

My colleagues at work all stepped up and asked "what can we do?.How can we help?"

In the end, it boiled down to where did I feel I was most needed at that moment.

I knew deep in my heart that my friend would be more than just understanding.

I also knew that with short notice , getting coverage at work would be just about impossible.

It became obvious fairly quickly that for the first time that I can remember, I felt like I couldn't break away and I would have to miss attending the funeral. This has never happened to me before. I was never in the position of other people, people who have real jobs and others counting on them to be there.While the decision was still mine, I felt a bit trapped. I almost felt like I had no choice.That's when I realized that I absolutely did have a choice. I also have responsibilities.That is what made my decision easier.I wasn't one of "those" people who needed to check with someone, a superior or with the personnel department or with my foreman or boss. The choice was mine and mine alone .

In the end, I was able to find true comfort in my choice and that's what truly matters.

What ever happened to the book?

"Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it."

Jim Rohn

So what ever happened to the book? I haven't brought this up over the last few months and I thought it might be a good idea to address it.The best I can report at this point is that it is on hold. I am reticent to make any definitive declarative statements pinning me down to anything specific regarding writing a book.It may happen.It may never happen. I really can't say at this point. If you recall, I never set out to write a book. When I started writing ,I had no idea how important it would become to me and how much I enjoy doing it.On the days when I don't make time to write,I certainly feel it.When I do write,my day feels more complete.On the days when someone responds to me,my joy level reaches all sorts of high levels.

When I watch talk shows,or listen to talk radio, it seems that every Tom,Dick and harry has written a book lately. I have no idea who is reading or buying these. It seems to me that as anonymous as I am, the only ones who would benefit from me undertaking a book would be the publishing house that would ultimately make money from me.

So for now I will continue to tell my story using the format that I started with,writing to you as often as I can.

While my calendar doesn't have a someday on it,I am comfortable saying that their may or may not be a book...........someday.

Just a couple of pieces of old furniture

"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

 ~ C.S. Lewis

For the last 35 years, Susan and I have had these matching night tables. They were not new when we got them ,however not having any kind of bedroom set they served us well. Yes the corners were more than just dinged up. Yes they didn't match anything else in the room. Still they seemed to work just fine. Susan's had a lamp on top of it as well as her alarm clock. Mine was the place where I would empty my pockets every evening and stand my water bottle (I get thirsty at night!).The four draws in each have been the home for ours socks and underwear for decades.

A few months ago,the front of the top draw on my side fell off..No big deal. I still had 3 more draws. When the draws on Susan's nightstand started to come apart, I started hearing grumblings like "we need new night stands!"

Given all of the other new things that we need but can't afford like an oven,a refrigerator,and new living room furniture,night stands for our bedroom were certainly not on my priority list.This was more than a few dollars. The stuff that we liked and that would work were in the hundreds.

I came up with an alternative that would more than make do for the time being and yesterday I took care of that. The replacement units look great, and serve us nicely.I emptied the draws of my night stand and proceeded to drag it down to the curb. Susan will be able to do the same with hers and by Tuesday there will be a pair of more than slightly used night tables at the curb.

As I pulled up the driveway this morning, I saw my nightstand sitting curbside and I became more than just sad It's not that these pieces of furniture were collectibles. True we had had them for 35 years. 35 years with a lot of memories,including raising a family.It was something else.Oh, did I forget to mention that for 35 years before we owned them they were part of my parent's bedroom?pieces of the bedroom set my mom and dad purchased when they got married 70 years ago. They were the least remaining pieces of the set that dad and I, back in 1971,stripped,washed,mended and refinished in the basement,a project that took us months, not weeks as we painfully reconstructed broken corners and stripped down this really really dark wood ,bleaching it to its natural color and then refinishing them to look brand new and completely different.

I am not one to get nostalgic over stuff.It's just stuff,clutter,things.

This feels a bit different though.These nightstands feel like something else.

Or maybe not. Maybe they're just a couple of old pieces of furniture.

Just Let Go

"Laugh when you can,

apologize when you should,

and let go of what you can't change. Life's too short to be anything... but happy."

Anonymous

When September rolled around, I clenched my fists and braced myself to deal with the changes that were about to happen in my life.My part time (34 hours a week) bus driving job was now to be a full time salaried position (Boy did I make a bad deal!).

One of my other major income streams was going to disappear as of September causing all sorts of anxiety for me.In October there was a wedding,the Halloween season and the High Holidays not to mention a blown engine in my bus. November came in with a number of physical and health related challenges. All the while I continued to steady myself against these onslaughts ,ever ready to take on what ever was next to come at me.

Over the last few days,something has changed. Mostly my approach to this new and ever changing landscape. I have begun to just let go.

Relax.

Take a deep breath.

Smile!

I have unclenched my fists,as well as my teeth , and just let things run their course,making adjustments as they do.I have learned to set my sails to work with the changing winds not brace for a storm.

I've started to listen. I respond instead of over reacting.

I afford myself the opportunity to change those things that I can and to accept those things that I can not.

Remarkably, I am finding it much easier to breathe. I am also getting a better nights sleep.

When I finally trusted in myself to just let go, it's amazing how much better things seem to be.

I am more confident,affable and effective.

All because I just let go!

Reminds me of that old commercial...try it..you'll like it!

And it was good

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.

They must be felt with the heart.”

Helen Keller

Today we were treated to another snowfall.The weather here over the last 10 days or so has been challenging at times starting last Sunday with a wintry mix of rain.sleet, snow and ice. The last 48 hours featured rain ,rain and more rain. This morning, as the temperature dropped some 25 plus degrees,the snow began to fall leaving the ground and trees covered in a blanket of white.As I turned my bus into the drive at the end of my first run, a sense of calm and peace came over me. This calm started last Friday when I had my long overdue ME day. Little by little, I have been able to build on that ,culminating in this peaceful state that I found myself enjoying.

All I could think of in that moment was the biblical phrase "and he saw it was good".

This phrase appears 5 times in the book of Genesis,remarking on what had been created.

This is how I felt about my life this morning.

Looking at my life ,all that I have,all that I am blessed,all that I surrounds me, I smile and can honestly say that what I see is good!

Black Coffee

“As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others."

Robert H. Schuller

When I embarked on this leg of my Journey through life 6 years ago, one of the changes I made was how I take my coffee.I did away with cream and any type of sweetener.

Coffee....Black!That's it.Pour it from the the pot into my cup and I'm good to go.

The hotter,the better.

For no apparent reason, that changed over a month ago. I started adding half and half and a sweetener.Very weird.Or maybe not really.

Maybe it was a sign.A sign that I was out of control.

Last Friday was my first ME day in over 2 months.

With that 1 day, I managed to steady the ship and begin the process of regaining some semblance of order in my life.

Today another milestone in that process......back to black coffee!

And I feel so much better for it.

Something as simple as how I take my coffee.

I must remember to look for signs along the road on my Journey.

They're their.It's simply a matter of recognizing them.

No Quid Pro Quo

"Always speak of the past, gratefully. 

Of the future, excitedly. 

And of the present,with a Cheshire Grin"

-Notes from The Universe

No this has nothing to do with the nonsense we get bombarded with on the news lately.

I was having lunch with a dear friend from high school today. It seems that the last time we met up,which was just before the High Holidays, I had expressed my ambivalence towards the yom tovim and towards religion in general.This concerned my friend who is deeply and unequivocally vested in his religious beliefs.Prayer is a huge part of his life,which certainly is not the case in my life.

His concern for my spiritual well being became part of our conversation today. In fact it was a large part of it. After we said our goodbyes,I think he had a better understanding of where my head , if not my heart, is in regards to prayer, devotion and connecting with a higher power.

As I drove away, it occurred to me that my relationship with that higher power can best be summed up by the statement that between me and who or whatever that power is, there is no quid pro quo.

Quid pro quo is a favor or advantage granted or expected in return for something.

Prayer, to me, sounds like the ultimate example of just such an arrangement.

I am sure that this will set the hair of many people who I know, love and respect ablaze. So before the firestorm erupts,understand, this is about me., not you. I don't judge others who feel differently,and I hope that others will offer me the same latitude.

The arguments that come back to me often start with "if you are genuine in your prayer than the Lord's favors will be upon you".

Sounds like quid pro quo to me!

I just ,and I repeat I,me ,David,do not believe that it's supposed to work that way.

I am grateful for all that I have. I realize(most of the time) just how blessed I am.

When I disconnect from that knowledge,things often fall apart. When I reconnect to them, my days are sunnier and brighter.

So yes, I believe in an energy that grows inside of me from be grateful, gracious,kind,positive, and giving.I do this without any expectation of any payback of any kind.

No quid pro quo.

If for no other reason than the mere fact that with all of the other major crap in life, that higher power may have a lot more on his or her plate than waiting for me to say thanks or ask for anything for myself.

But hey, that's just me.

Blessings for a Shavua Tov!

Just Do You

"Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count, really count."

Albert Einstein

There are times when events seem to be more than mere coincidences.Take for an example my daily message from my mentor Darren Hardy yesterday. While talking about achieving success,he cautioned not to try and be like some successful person you may admire or respect. His message was clear, Just Do You!

After listening to his Darren Daily, I had what can only be described as an aha moment (Thanks Darren!) While I certainly have not been trying to emulate any one over the last few weeks, what I have been doing is a whole lot of "stuff" and very little (read NONE) of me.I have been getting alot of "stuff" done without spending any time doing David.Darren's message resonated loudly and clearly with me. Just Do You!

I have not been doing me at all.

Doing "stuff" takes time and energy.

Doing me is done with passion.

That has been the missing ingredient over the last few weeks, maybe months.Little by little ,over the past 24 to 48 hours, I have felt that spark come back to life.All it takes is one spark to start a fire. One spark and then a whole lot of care. Eventually, with the right amount of nurturing, that spark can become the fire that is needed to warm the soul and light the darkness.

This has been an awesome awakening for me.The smoke is starting to build. With the proper care,that smoke will become a spark and eventually maybe even a fire.

For now, I just need to keep tending that spark and keep doing me

Starting to feel like me again

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Fridays are my "me" day. I have the house to myself. Other than preparing shabbat dinner, I have no scheduled tasks. I use my Fridays to catch up on emails, paperwork, mail, bills and any loose ends that need attending to.

I have not had a Me Friday in 2 months, and to be honest with you, it is starting to take its toll on me.

I met with a friend and colleague today and he expressed the same thing about his life. We are both letting our lives lead us , not leading our own lives.

Barring any unforeseen events, when this Friday rolls around I will finally get that much needed me day.Not that my calendar is wide open on that day. I must get a physical for my CDL medical certificate. However once that is off of my plate, the rest of the day is mine.

The mere fact that I have already caught up on mail, email and bill paying through the middle of the month is a sign that I am starting to find my way out of the deepest parts of the woods.

Heaven forbid that I say this out loud, but I am actually finding little ways to take care of myself.

(Shocker I know!).

So much so that tonight I was able to design and order this years holiday mug and wristband.

That's a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Again, I still have some work to do to complete this years holiday offering , however, I now have Friday to wrap up the biggest part of what's left for me to do.

This is huge!

And very exciting as well.

Since the advent of the David Spiegel Holiday Mug Offering 3 years ago, this project has taken on a life of its own. It has also added a sense of purpose to my life.

When I visit friends and colleagues and family and co-workers and I see last years YOU MATTER mug or they are wearing the wristband,I get this really nice feeling.

When I see a Choose Happy mug from 2 years ago, I know I am with someone who is already anticipating this years offering.

My dream?

Someday my mug will rival the Hess truck as a holiday collectible.

(I should only be able to afford to do that!)

For the first time in a very long time I am starting to feel like me again.

And that my friends is a pretty darn good feeling!

(BTW...........I just saw my quote of the day.Coincidence or.Karma!)

Word of the Month -December

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

~ Charles Dickens

December Word of the Month

COACH

(Noun)

 a person who is responsible for managing and training a person or a team

A coach is also an expert who trains someone learning or improving a skill, esp. one related to performing

someone whose job is to provide training for people

 or to help prepare them for something

I don't particularly love any of the definitions that I found when I Googled COACH.

To me a COACH is someone who helps another person become the best version of themselves that they can be.

This weekend Susan and I watched McFarland,USA. In the film,Kevin Costner portrays a High School coach working in a very poor immigrant community. Being the white guy who really doesn't fit in, he faces all sorts of challenges , including winning the respect of his students.They call him "Homes"(as in homeboy), Blanco (meaning whitey) and by his last name White. There comes a transitional point in the movie where one of the more vocal team members ,responds to him and refers to him as Coach.

It's a touching and poignant moment.

Coach!

The title brings validation to all of his efforts

All that he and his family has sacrificed now had meaning.

This moment in time resonated strongly with me.

More than once in my life I have been "Coach".

To this day, I run into former players of mine,who still call me Coach when they see me. Players whose teams I coached decades ago.Time doesn't seem to matter to them. After all of the years that have passed, I am still Coach to them.

For me, I can't imagine a more endearing term.

The title is more than validation. It is edification. It raises me to a place of respect.

It reminds me that in some small way I had a role in them becoming the better versions of themselves.

I am both honored and humbled at the same time when I hear "hey Coach!"

Maybe that's why I was attracted to life coaching.

Maybe COACH is another part of my WHY?

Word of the Month-November

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”

W.T. Purkiser

November is coming to an end and I realized that I never picked a Word of the Month.

I know, I could just wait a few days and start fresh n December,but that really doesn't work for me.

So here it is:

Conviviality

noun

the quality of being friendly and lively; friendliness.

Why conviviality?Mostly because it just doesn't seem to resonate with me lately. I am not feeling convivial.

Obviously this is a choice. It is entirely up to me to bring conviviality with me on a daily basis. A choice that for some unknown reason I have not been making lately.My reasoning for making it my November Word of the Month is that by acknowledging it's absence I can choose to change my approach and attitude towards it.I probably want to be friendly. It just seems like it has been such a chore lately.With Thanksgiving just around the corner and the end of the month in sight,it seems like a great opportunity to lift myself from the place I am in and to choose to be convivial.

It's more like the me I want to be and besides it is a cool word that most people do not use very often these days!

Shavua Tov!

I've Got to be Me

"When you really understand who you are, it enables you to fight and believe."

~ Phil Knight

When I took my part time bus driving job almost 3 years ago,my brother offered me a bit of sage advice.

"Don't be the smartest guy in the room.......just drive the bus."

For the longest time,I tried to heed his warning.As I settled into my position there were times when opportunities to improve upon what we do and how we do it popped up. For the most part, I would  wait for someone to ask for my thoughts. Occasionally, when it was appropriate I would gently offer up suggestions, almost always asking for permission as to not overstep any boundaries.

This has been exhausting and ultimately very stressful for me.

While I may not be the smartest guy on every subject in the world, for the most part I am smarter than most on many things,specifically those areas of expertise where I know how smart I am.

Stifling myself,my intuition, my creativity and my innate abilities just doesn't work for me.

In the words of the song from the Broadway show The Golden Rainbow,written by Walter Marks, I've got to be me!

It's one of my favorite songs. When I hear it on the radio, I can't help but to crank up the volume.Invariably I will bellow along with who ever is singing it,Sinatra, Sammy,Steve Lawrence or Robert Goulet. It doesn't matter, I love them all.

Verse after verse, it resonates so loudly inside of me. Well not just inside of me, which is why I can't help but to join in.I have to let it out.

And so it is in my daily life, including driving my bus.

I've got to be me.

So,"whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong

Whether I find a place in this world or never belong"

I've got to be me.

Why?

Because "I want to live, not merely survive

And I won't give up this dream

Of life that keeps me alive".

I've got to be me.

"I won't settle down, won't settle for less"

"Daring to try, to do it or die"

I've gotta be me.

So much for not being the smartest guy in the room!

Shabbat Shalom!

My Phone Book

"Who forces time is pushed back by time; who yields to time finds time on his side."

The Talmud

For the last 10 days or so since my friend John passed away, there has been a flurry of emails, Facebook posts and phone calls between everyone whose life he touched.Now as the shock and immediacy of his passing are waning, the contact is as well.Time has a way of allowing things to settle back in. Eventually we return to the familiar routines of our daily lives. That is until the next bit of bad news crosses in front of us.

This has to be unacceptable to me. I just checked my calendar and I can't seem to find Someday!

In response to this, while sitting in traffic at 7:30 this morning I asked myself"who can I connect with right now?"

I opened my phone book and called mt friend Brian. It's probably been about 6 months or more since we have spoken.I told him I just called to say hello, catch up quickly and assured him that I ill reach out before the holidays at the end of the year. I wished him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving as I had to hang up to call my next passenger.

After my morning runs were complete, I headed out to the grocery store.I decided to make 1 more call. This call was actually twofold in purpose. One was to catch up and the other was to tap my friend Glenn's brain (he may be the only person in the world better at "I gotta guy" than I am!).

I can't begin to share with you how uplifting it was to talk to both of these friends today.

I started to scroll through my phone book.There are a lot of names in it!

Some I haven't talked to for a while. Some I haven't spoken to in forever.

As I said, this is unacceptable to me.

David has a new game to play.

It's called"who can I call today?.

FYI....if you're in my phone book, don't be surprised if your phone rings and my name pops up!

The Uniform

"Religion needs spirituality. Spirituality doesn't need religion."

Mike Dooley: Notes from The Universe

As I was getting dressed for the funeral, I asked Susan to hand me my blue sweater from the closet.I mentioned to her that it just came back from the cleaners and it's the only winter sweater that is clean.

I have a number of other nice sweaters that I could have worn. Unfortunately they all have been sitting in my hamper since the end of March along with their coordinating dress shirts and ties, waiting to go to the cleaners.

I just haven't had any need for them and quite honestly,looking ahead at my calendar, I probably won't need any of them until I head out to New Orleans in late January.

I remarked to Susan"Sweaters and dress shirts just aren't part of my uniform lately".

My daily garb is a hoodie and jeans.

On colder days I add a thermal vest.

Once the snow comes, I'll add my ski pants.

When it's really cold, maybe my Yankees jacket.

This basically works seven days a week for me.

If I happen to be spending a Saturday just kicking around the house, I may opt for sweats.

Other than that, the uniform remains pretty much the same.

There was a time, about 5 years ago, when for about 3 years, I wouldn't leave the house without a dress shirt and tie.I needed that uniform to make a statement.

I was done with the 380 pound me. No more leaving the house in sweatpants.That uniform was unacceptable.For 3 years, I was "The Guy in the Tie",every day of the week. Even if I was just going to the grocery store.........dress shirt and tie. (with a nice pair of jeans it's a good look!).

Today that uniform no longer works for me. Nor is it necessary.

Hoodies and jeans are the new uniform.

At least until late April anyway.

For now, I'll just enjoy my new uniform.

By the way.....what's your uniform look like?

Connecting the Dots

"Life is unlimited - it expands with the generosity, compassion, inventiveness, and service that you contribute."

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Last week in the email I wrote about the passing of my friend John, I mentioned that with his passing, there would be no one left to corroborate our tales, triumphs and adventures.

(Okay, we didn't win them all and some adventures might be better classified as misadventures!)

In response to that email, a dear high school friend wrote to me and reminded me of just how important it is that we keep these things alive. We keep them alive by telling the stories,over and over again.

That's dot #1.

His message resonated with me so much that it has become the inspiration for this year's annual Holiday mug message.

Dot #2.

As my excitement surrounding the 2019 mug offering is growing, I had a completely unexpected yet very welcome aha moment.

Dot #3.....

On my birthday I shared with you something that my Rabbi shared with the congregation on Rosh Hashana.

He said" the 2 most important days in anyone's life are 1) the day they are born and 2) the day they figure out why!

This year's mug project and the plans I now have to expand around it may very well be a big part of that day 2 for me.My WHY.

I'm super excited.

And not just a little bit terrified of the potential around this.

I want to share more with you.

Eventually ,you can be sure I will.

For now,just know how unbelievably grateful I am to John,to Barry, to my Rabbi and yes to you as well for being part of this Journey with me.

You are my muse!

(more dots to be connected!)

Learning to stand

“True joy comes when you inspire, encourage, and guide someone else on a path that benefits him or her.”

Zig Ziglar

He was Belushi in Animal House.

He was a cross between Swayze and Sam Elliot in Roadhouse.

He was Rob Lowe in The Outsiders.

He was Clint Eastwood in,well just about anything Eastwood ever did.

This was the John I knew "back in the day".

No one at his funeral today would have wanted to hear the tales of the exploits and adventures from that period in John's life.

Those stories seem to have nothing to do with the man John would become.

While it may seem that the person we remembered today, had no connection to that man, I for one would strongly disagree. As it is for all of us,there are formative,foundational periods in our lives,which are the cornerstones for who we are to become.

It supports everything we stand for.

They are not always the prettiest parts of the final project.

They are often weathered,gnarled, and downright unattractive.

Still they are the very bricks,stones and mortar without which, everything else would crumble.

The most magnificent edifices on the NY skyline all stand on foundations that are often unsightly and certainly rarely looked upon.

Yet they are still there.

They are important.

They are foundational.

They are what these buildings stand on.

I have been blessed by being a part of those times.

I am a better me for it.

It taught me a lot about standing.

Standing tall.

Standing side by side.

Standing up for myself.

Standing up for others.

Standing up to adversity

Standing up for right and against wrong.

Standing for ideals.

Standing up to commitment.

Standing alone knowing I am not alone.

Standing face forward into the strongest of storms knowing that it is the only way to get through them.

These are the lessons on standing that I learned with John.

Learning how to stand is the foundation for learning how to understand.

Thanks for being by my side John.

You stood tall against it all.

Now it's time to rest.

Rest in peace my brother.

And then it was over

Hearts ,Hands, and Minds We pledge to Thee..........

Excerpt from Hail Sinfonia

When I think of my most "notorious " times I am usually standing side by side with John.

When I think of my wild child days,John was my cohort.

There was something about John that brought out the side of me that legends were made of and could never be duplicated without him.

John served in the military during that conflict that we all dreaded coming out of high school, Vietnam.When we met , sometime in my sophomore year, he was fresh from that tour of duty and filled with a spirit that could not and would not be shackled by conventional norms.

That spirit brought out the best of the worst in me. Thankfully, I was the voice of reason in our shenanigans, which undoubtedly served both of us well.

John was every bit Bad,Bad Leroy Brown.

You wouldn't tug on his cape or take of his mask.

Not without consequences!

On Monday as all who served did, John was honored as the nation celebrated Veterans Day.

On that afternoon, John laid down for a nap.

John never woke up.

Just like that, John was gone.

His nap had become his eternal sleep.

The memories of the mayhem that marked the years we had together are now mine and mine alone. Others have heard the stories.As I noted previously , our escapades were the stuff of which legends were built on.

Legends that are probably best not discussed in mixed company.

I no longer have the other guy who can corroborate what actually took place.

That's okay with me.

I wouldn't believe half of them if someone was relating them to me either.

We are two weeks away from Thanksgiving.

While John's passing will not be overtly present as we gather with family and friends,it will weigh heavily on my mind.

Mortality...is a bitch!

Rest in peace brother.

The Boss

"Every day is a new beginning.

Treat it that way.

Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be."

~ Marsha Petrie Sue

For the last 4 decades, I have been the boss.

You know, the head honcho, the big cheese , the top banana, the guy in charge.

Decision making rested squarely on my shoulders.

I have always done my best not to micro manage those who work for me, however there was never any doubt as to who was in charge and who would make the decisions on how, when and what would get accomplished.

Even when I was not"the Boss" , I always seemed to be the guy in charge.

I'm not sure why,it just happened.

This presented itself socially as well.

I can't tell you how often when at dinner with any number of people , of disparate age and economic levels, the check always manages to end up in front of me.

( not always a good thing!)

Today however, I find myself in a uniquely different position at work.

I am part of a team.

I have coworkers.

And even though I have "senior staff" responsibilities, the whole boss thing is not part of the culture.

In fact, no one person seems to be "the boss'.

Even those who are undoubtedly the people in charge,address everyone they interact with as part of the team.This is all so very foreign to me.

I am used to seeing what needs to be accomplished and then making the decision as to how to make sure that it happens.

I am also not accustomed to being questioned (read challenged) once my action plan is revealed.

To me the only response to my direction should be "yes boss" or "got it" or at the very least "okay".

This new way of doing business will take some getting used to for me.

I know my management style is rooted in the last century and not particularly P.C.

The rub is that I know it is effective when it comes to accomplishing a goal.

My challenge moving forward is to find a way to communicate my plans, thoughts and ideas while still respecting the culture in which I now find myself operating.

A newer.softer, gentler David.

Who'd have known!