You arrogant S.O.B. !

Home!
It feels good to be home . This trip was different than most.It has been a very long time since I have found myself in the place I am today,starting over.....from what feels like scratch. New lines,new products new firms .It is a bit daunting. The good news is that I know I am up to the challenge.Years of experience have blessed me with the tools and skill set to make this work. The one word that keeps coming around for me is commitment.On day 1 of this Journey, the word commitment was at the center of all that I was hoping to achieve.Commitment is doing what you set out to accomplish long after the mood you said it in has left you.Last night as I tossed and turned , trying to grab a few hours of sleep, the word arrogance kept popping up for me as well.
After the show closed yesterday, I made my way back to my hotel, grabbed a bite to eat and went  back to my room.....alone. A few hours later, I went back down to the restaurant to grab a coffee and dessert. Heck, I earned it ....I had worked hard and put in some long days. Seated in the restaurant were colleagues who were all employees of other firms in the industry. I decided to sit and join them for a few minutes. Their checks came and they all started the process f figuring out who owed what and how they were going to submit their respective expense reports. The process and all that went int it felt a bit tedious to me. 
They all have bosses they must answer to. They all have expense reports that will have to be filled out. They all have guidelines and protocols they must adhere to.As an independent contractor,I answer to me. I pay those bills out of my pocket.Sometimes I am fortunate enough to be able to pass on some of my expenses to vendors I work with. For the most part,it is all on me. I answer to me. I make my decisions based on my fortunes.There are times when cost is no object. And then there are days where the free breakfast is the best meal of the day.And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Is that arrogance? No not really. It was a choice I made a long time ago. I chose to follow a certain path. I knew I was an entrepreneur.I understood that my fortune or lack their of would be in direct proportion with my success at any given point in time. 
Today, I am rebuilding those fortunes. I am creating new opportunities. I am blazing a trail to a new income stream.
Arrogance......or insanity!
It's just what I do!

See you Sunday!

Today unlike yesterday,was fraught with the pitfalls of racing from one event to another. The challenge I faced was that my schedule was tested by the inevitable delays that were completely out of my control.I went to Office Depot to drop off some printing. Who expected the girl in the print department to be on the phone for 20 minutes with the service department for one of her printers? My 12:30 doctors appointment?? You know how that goes. I finally got to see the doctor around 1:45.It was just one of those kind of days. Getting upset or testy or annoyed would have served absolutely no purpose.I instead I resigned myself to making sure that the 3 most important things on my list today were completed. 
And by days end,sure enough they were.The plethora of other possibilities on my to do list were irrelevant.The 3 BHAGs  were the only thing that mattered. (BHAG....Big Hairy Audacious Goals).
Now it's off to bed . In the morning off to Nashville. So here's the deal.....I'll be back on Sunday and that's when we'll catch up.
I'll miss writing to you and I look forward to catching up when I get back!

The Divine Trinity!

After last night's workout, it did not take me long to retire for the evening. As exhausted as I was,there seemed to be a shift in my attitude. As my head hit the pillow and I settled in under the blankets, I felt like I was done. It was the end of whatever and I was ready to move on. I left every bit of me on the gym floor and had nothing else to give.I also felt like that was okay. I knew I would wake up in the morning, get to the gym again and start the day with a clean slate and plenty of hours to get things done.Today is the first day in weeks that I awoke with a sense that I had the opportunity to have a productive day.
Unless I have missed something, there is no running around from place to place or from one agenda item to another. I have a number of things to accomplish and a clear plan as to when I can address each item.It is 8:24 in the morning and I have already taken care of my first list of 3,including writing to you. My writing over the last few days and weeks has come when I can squeeze it in. Today, is different. Today I have taken care of round 1 chores and have a quiet moment to have a cup of coffee, reflect a little and visit with you.
The house also seems like it is void of tension.No one is griping or grousing or barking or snarling.I know personally, I showed up without any of that baggage and I think it is contagious.
It's a bright sunny day....not outside, inside! Outside is actually kind of grey and nondescript.That doesn't seem to matter. I am calm collected and comfortable and that makes all the difference in the world to me.
It's 8:39. Dinner is prepared for tonight. Everyone is up and out of the house,or soon to be.I have already responded to 60 or 70 text messages. My in box has been vetted from the night before and I am prepared for my next list of 3.
I have a bunch of stuff to take care of today. My day will not end until late, sometime after 8 p.m.
Yet somehow there is no stress. There seems to be time to get everything done. I will just make my lists and take care of each of the 3 items on it.

What a difference a day makes!

Shot!

Today was the first day that I regret having made the decision to move my office back to my home. I had an 11:30 conference call.Susan had a dog scheduled for grooming at the same time. As my call started so did the cacophony that often accompanies a grooming customer out of the house. My 3 dogs started barking the minute I got on the phone and did not stop until the house guest left an hour and a half later.Then there was the whirring of the clippers followed by the running water of the bath immediately followed by the insidious noise of the dryer . If that was not enough to try the patience of a saint, our African grey decided she needed to start screaming as well..Barking, howling ,screeching, blowing.....it was maddening!
By the time our 4 legged friend left,I was completely beside myself.My concentration level had been tested and my energy drained.I suppose if the other aspects of my life were less stressful, I may have tolerated this irritation a little better. On top of my already fragile state of being, my nerves were just not up to the challenges that today had in store for me.
By 1 p.m. ,I had lost my focus. It then took me another 3 hours to regroup enough to salvage what could have become a complete waste of a day.
By the time 5 o'clock rolled around, I was completely drained. That would normally be okay were it not for the fact that I had a 6 p.m. training session.Of course today was the day that my new trainer,Mario,thought it was time to shake things up.
Since my very first workout with a trainer, I have never quit during a session. In fact,more times than not, my trainers have been pleasantly surprised with my stamina and ability to take all that they could dish out.Today I came close.By the time I was done,I could barely talk,walk and literally staggered out to my car. I had a stop to make at Home Depot before heading home. My legs were shaking and I was fairly unsteady as I walked the aisles.I plopped back in the car (of course I was driving my son's which sits as low as a race car) and made my way home. I put some apples in the oven for baking before sitting down to clean up emails and write to you. 
And now.....I am done...finished ...kaput!
I am shot. So if you don't mind, I will just call it quits for tonight and hopefully get enough rest to start again tomorrow.....when I head back to the gym at 5:30 in the morning!

A simply wonderful gift!

Before I resorted to ranting in my writing the way I did yesterday, my day had actually started out in a fairly pleasant place. My one time trainer and now friend Kevin , mentioned to me that he had shared my writing with a client who responded by saying"this is exactly the kind of motivational stuff I am looking for....how can I get these emails!".
Wow! 
How awesome was that!
What started out as my asking for support from a few friends is evolving into something that someone else finds supportive.
Freaking awesome!
My mentor John Maxwell has said over and over again, the best way to attract is to give.If there is something you want,find something you can offer out. 
I can't say it enough. I love writing to you. Even on days like yesterday, when I spewed out anger and frustration all over the page, I love writing. I rarely worry about who I might offend or put off when  write. I believe in my heart that you understand that I am never mean in spirit or down on life. We all have "those kind of moments"....
You know which ones they are.
The ones where you want to go out into your car, roll up your windows and scream at the top of your lungs. No one will hear you. You just need to let it out.
I am so blessed in being able to do that when I write without fear of judgement or retribution.
It allows me to clear the air. I can release the anger with out hurting myself or anyone else. Invariably, someone will reach out and say" I hope you find peace!". 
"Wishes for a more peaceful tomorrow". 
No one tries to fix me.
No one chastises me for my remarks.
No one even tries to say "I know how you feel". 
More often than not it's a simple"I hear that you are in pain and I wish you peace".
In the end, the fix is self evident. It must come from me.
The fix actually begins the moment I put the emotion in writing. In that acknowledgement of fear, stress, pain or frustration healing begins.
I am so blessed to know that you are there for me. I is comforting to know that I have this safe vehicle to acknowledge, address and eventually work through any of the challenges I face daily. 
It is an immeasurable treasure.
and I can't thank you enough for being a part of that gift!

Pissed off once again!

My day kind of got wasted today. I drove Susan to work early this morning. Sometime last night my son disappeared. I could tell my wife was uncomfortable with not knowing where he was so I drove by his friends's house to make sure he was where I thought he was. After an hour or so of texting I headed to the gym . I never seemed to get my day under control or take advantage of having nothing on my agenda.The void ,the not planning out my day, led me down a path I did not expect. 

My back was a little tweaked .My trainer asked me if I had done anything to it. I said I didn't think so, maybe it's stress related/

Little did I know how prophetic that statement was.

As I sit here writing the stress and irritation that has been building inside of me all day,is tightening the muscles in my back like a vice grip. My family is eating dinner and I have chosen not to join them (Chinese food...not on my diet).Instead I sat down to write. After a few minutes I decided to not write and I started to change the heading to Sunday February 21st.

As I began to shut down the computer I realized just how much more my back had tightened up once I made the decision to not write.

This is not good!

And the part that makes me most angry is that but for the inconsiderate actions of people I depend on to do their part, I would not feel this stress today.

I blame myself. I should have never put myself in such a position. They have no responsibility to me. I am responsible to myself and myself and for my self.

Now I am angry at me!

Again not good. 

And right now, there is not much I can do to rectify the situation.

Maybe early next week.Truth is, I believe that ultimately things will get worse before they get better.

Such is life.

So, there it is....I have now written. 

My back still hurts. 

The tension is still there.

And the stress is still mounting. 

But at least I didn't hold it in.

Shavua Tov!

Keeping Score!

"Keeping score doesn't guarantee that you're counting the right things."

-Doug Smith-High Performance Leadership

This was not exactly what I had in mind to write about today,however once I read it I realized just how strongly it resonated with me.My original thoughts for today were swirling around a sense of calm that I was feeling.Somehow,out of the turmoil and turbulence I have been experiencing lately, I found myself at ease with where I am and what I want to do next, meaning for the rest of today.Upon reading Doug's daily message I understood that my sense of calm was a direct by product of my "counting" or accounting as it might be. 

I make lists. I make schedules. I use calendars. I stick post it notes up as reminders. I build systems. I make checklists. I make to do lists.I make piles and then categorize the piles and then further dissect the piles into even smaller more manageable piles.

For me, all of these checks and balances bring order to chaos.

It's not just busy work. It's not as some would say a waste of time. Organizing all of this insures that stones are not left unturned,I's are dotted and T's are crossed.

It's not about keeping score. Without a sense of what I want to accomplish,I can not gauge my success. When heaped upon me as one enormous pile, it is difficult for me to dis way the feelings  of hopelessness.It all seems overwhelming.

When confronted with what may seem insurmountable the only rational thing for me to do is to find a starting point and begin the tedious task of working through all of it.

Have you ever had a gold chain necklace that was tied up in a knot? The finer the necklace the tighter the knot. It takes pain staking steadiness and calm to undo the ball of metal.Eventually, given enough time and patience, you can restore that twisted mess into a thing of beauty once again.

I need road maps. I need targets. I need mile markers and road signs.

In the gym, I always have a schedule of apparatus and exercises.I count reps and sets. I measure myself incrementally by adding weight. I have a starting point and an ending point. The next time I do that same exercise, I start 1 plate up from where I started the last time,increasing to a new end weight.

It's not about score. It's all about charting progress.

I never wanted to be an accountant. Personally nothing could interest me less.However, I do understand the importance of the accounting.

If I want to earn $100,000 and I make a 5% commission, I must sell $2,000,000 dollars worth of product. I have never made a $2,000,000 sales. But I can assure you I have made many thousands of $1,000 sales.If I make 8 $1000 sales 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year.....do the math!

The same is true for my quality of life. What does it mean to have led a good life. Adding up all of the good days....one at a time, until the body of work is an accumulation of good days.

It's all in the counting!

Now it's time to go make today count!

Shabbat Shalom!

That's Yichis baby!

Today's word of the day is the Yiddish word Yichis. It comes

from the Hebrew root words YOD-HET-SAMECH, (YHS), which can mean "to relate to", or

"in relation to".

I first hear this word in a sermon the Rabbi of our congregation gave many years ago. In a more colloquial meaning,he explained that by having studied under a great  scholar, one would have "yichis". In my synagogue, being the son of Vivian and Arnold, comes with yichis.Depending on the degrees of separation, I suppose determines just how much yichis one has.

Today,I have yichis!

About 6 years ago, I was introduced to some folks and we became fast friends. We did a business deal together. We spent the Jewish holidays with them They opened up their home to us and the families became close in a very short period of time. We are separated by an ocean and rarely get to see each other. We keep in touch and when we do have the opportunity to spend time with each other, it's as if we had seen them yesterday. Whenever I pick up the phone they answer and I am sure that when they reach out, I am there for them as well.

We are friends. Normal every day "hey buddy" type of people.

It never dawned on me,that these ordinary people who so easily befriended not only me but my entire family,are not so ordinary In fact they are kind of extraordinary.

How extraordinary?

Watch this video!

http://youtu.be/KUJVaPMD4FI

How cool was that!

Congratulations Tim and the entire Angel's family......one that I am proud to be a part of!

That's what they call yichis!

It's been a hard night's day!

It's 4 in the morning. I have been sitting at my desk working for over an hour., not because I have so much work to do. Simply I could not sleep.I decided paying attention to some of the things racing through my mind was better than laying in bed tossing and turning and trying to come to terms with them.

The tough part is on Wednesday's my day typically starts at 5:30 as I head out to the gym early,in time to be in shul by 7 for services.Today that will be exacerbated by an afternoon that already has a pretty full slate,there by causing a time crunch this morning.

The day has 24 hours to it just like any other. My challenge once again is how to make the most out of them.This challenge is coupled with the gift of no sleep which I have now bestowed upon myself.

I could cancel my gym trip.That would buy me an hour of sack time. I could bail on shul today. That would buy me another hour plus.I also know I would feel like crap if I made either of those choices.

I thin what I will do,is go and try get an hour nap right now. I'll get back to you later as my day progresses if that's okay with you?

Actually, I just received my Darren Daily so I reviewed that and I have posted it below. I also paid some bills . Now I will head off and try to grab a few winks!

(Be back at you later!)

It's now 7 p.m.My 5:30 workout partner never quite made it so I grabbed an extra 30 minutes of sleep and started my day around 5:45. I have not stopped running until just now.

I rearranged my morning and did my workout from 9:15 til 10:30.Then a quick haircut,shower before the mayhem broke loose.It turned out to be a very busy day. Quite honestly............I think I am done!

I could sit here and think of something to write about (although as far as a train of thought, I don't have one at the moment.I could regroup and try and figure out what did not get done today and maybe even take a shot at some of it.Or I can just say good night to you and grab a cup of coffee,relax and head off to bed.

Good Night!

"This is the life we have chosen!"

These are the words I used when I closed my writing to you last Wednesday.The funny thing is,sometimes it feels more like the life chooses us. In a perfect world, I am sure that many would choose something different than what they do to earn a living. Many would prefer to sit on a beach and not work. Play golf all day! Explore uncharted lands! Travel the world! Run for political office....okay maybe not that!

The point is when push comes to shove, and food needs to be put on the table,when the rent needs to get paid and the bills are piling up, we often choose to revert to where we have had success before. And why shouldn't we. If we are good at it,put that talent to work.If you set your mind straight,and accept the facts as they are, the choice becomes fairly obvious.My dad was always fond of saying"shoe makers make shoes!". I don't make shoes. It just so happens that for the last two decades, I have been in the Halloween industry.I have worked in and been part of all facets of the industry. And I am good at it!So as much as I might like to be the next head coach of the Giants or the captain of the Starship Enterprise, I am currently doing that which I am most comfortable and ultimately successful at, Halloween. And to be perfectly honest, when I get it going, I love doing Halloween. What's not to love? I can be creative. I love interacting with my clients,colleagues and vendors .It's a fun holiday.I am well respected and as stated above, I have paid my dues for over 20 years .

Yes , I have other interests.

Yes,there may come a time when they become yet another income stream.

That time is not right now. 

I love writing! I have all sorts of ideas to write about. I literally have 6 or 7 working book titles on file.And if the bank accounts were such that I could spend all of my time writing, that might in fact be an option.For now, I steal a few minutes a day to pursue this passion . Today, Halloween calls. It needs my attention and deserves 100% of it.Nothing less. Because if I can't give 100% then,,,,well just get out!

This is the life I have chosen.......to give 100% effort at all times to anything I do.

And that's what lets me sleep at night!

Out of the desert!

Over the last 24 hours,I have experienced yet another major shift. Whatever it was that spurred on the feelings of anger that I have been dealing with has left me. It is very possible and even probable, that by acknowledging and harnessing that anger, I have been able to move on.(I think that's exactly what I set out to do over a week ago).
Yesterday, 2 emails from friends showed up in my in box. Like a voice in the wilderness these communications reached deep into my soul.I knew I was not alone. (and I stopped feeling sorry for myself).
Hinenei!
Here I am !
Today these emails were followed up by two phone calls....and once again the world seemed to be spinning properly on its axis.
Finally, one more email. My friend who sent it apologized for the "Jesus" references, but thought I would find the overall message useful.
So here's the thing.My funk, my outburst, my anger, my being, set all kinds of things in motion. It stirred someone to reach out. It helped me make a phone call. It opened a door for communication. It gave some one a chance to say you mean something to me.
Much like striking the rock in the desert,my anger, which I decided to allow to come up, served a purpose.Now it's time to continue on my Journey....
Below is the link that came in that last email....
It's all about perspective!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=W5mbldTkruM&feature=share  

Lessen the load and maximize the effort!

Over the last 24 hours, I have reflected on just how negatively my attitude has affected my life ,specifically over the last week or so.Anger, and fear have left me feeling frustrated and rendered me ineffective. It's not me. It's not how I want to live my life. It's not how I want to show up in the world. 
So why am I doing it? 
I'm not 100% sure. It's no different then when I eat things that I know are not part of my plan. Or when I eat too much. Or when I just binge.All are behaviors that are compensating for some unknown external factor. Inappropriate as the may be, I often find myself feeling helpless and unable to stop myself.
Well isn't that silly!
Of course I can stop myself.
How you ask? 
Easy!
Make better choices!
It's just that simple.No one else has the power to do this for me.
No external force controls any of this.
It is just simply a matter of will.
(I know my name is David not Will!)
But seriously, I make choices all day long every day. Last week I chose to be angry. I believed in that moment that was the tool I would use to try and break out and break away from the stagnant place I was residing in. I am not sure how effective it was or wasn't, I just know it's time to choose happy once again.
Those things that I found frightening have not gone away. I still have not come up with an answer to them, I did use that anger,generated by those fears to change my vantage point and make some course corrections.It helped me make some minor adjustments as well as tear down some impediments and hurdles that have at least temporarily allowed me to move forward.I don't need to go from falling backwards or standing still to zooming along at 100 miles an hour right away.When I keep moving forward, one step at a time, eventually I will build momentum.
My new trainer sat me in an apparatus the other day and said,"you've probably used this machine 100 times before.....now I will show you how to use it properly".
He lowered the weight,and had me begin the motion. .....slowly.....very slowly. Each and every repetition took 4 or 5 times longer than what I normally would do. The weight was insignificant. A child could do this.The cumulative effect of each deliberate concentrated movement was a burn like I had not experienced in months of working out.By my 15th rep, the muscles were barking at me. By the third set, they were screaming. And then we moved on to the next apparatus. Deconstructed and reconstructed once again with the same massive results. When we finished our session,he sent me off to do a cool down, stretch out cardio,walking on a treadmill at a slow pace with a very steep incline."you'll thank me in the morning for the cardio!" he said.
The take away is that momentum will take you only so far. To stretch yourself, to build yourself up,  takes repeated consistent all out effort.Over my last 4 workouts, I have followed the same game plan. Low weights and consistent maximum movements.I did arms.legs ,shoulders,and back on successive days. Everything hurts .....you know that really good hurt after a great workout.
That's how I know I am growing and stretching!
Shavua Tov!

Welcome to my world!

As I walked from my car towards the gym today, a women engaged me in some"small talk". As it is on Saturday mornings, the parking lot was jam packed and we both parked basically two buildings away. It was a"boy it's cold" conversation. I said good morning, she smiled and answered the same, and before you knew it it was blah de blah de blah.....I held the door for her she said thank you and off we went in our separate directions for our workouts.I was then greeted by the manager, the two employees behind the desk and a young woman who has been coming since the beginning of the year. When she arrived in January,weight loss and getting in shape was her mission. Her Journey will take some time.....and she has certainly accepted and embraced the challenge. She was member of the month last month losing 16 pounds with her eye squarely on the road ahead. As I set myself to begin my daily stretching routine, a familiar face belonging to the first person who ever said hello to me in gym ....way back in the early Spring of 2014, greeted me with a smile and a "good morning!". One of the newly hired trainers who I met last week said good morning as well.Joe, the ex-football coach at a neighboring high school greeted me as well as a number of other familiar faces.
My thoughts went back to how anonymous I once was as I shyly spent my 45 minutes working out and trying desperately to not be noticed.In those days , if I was working free weights, I worked in a space no bigger than half of  a jail cell. Fort that pieriod of time, that little space was my safe haven. If I was working cables, I literally worked the four stations of the bar in front of me,again an area about 4' by 4'.
Today, things are quite different. My workouts start with a stretch. I carve out a piece of floor,probably 8' x 8', maybe a little bigger and begin my routine. It doesn't matter where in the facility I do this....as long as there is a spot, I'll stake my claim (preferably with a mirror!). Depending on which part of my body I am concentrating on that day, I make my way through this 20,000' space as if I was the mayor. I smile at people ,wave at people, nod at people and always acknowledge anyone working out near me.
I don't draw attention to myself . I am not loud. I don't grunt and groan. I don't slam weights down or let bars slam together making a clanking sound which to be truthful is unnecessary. I don't engage in small talk as I like to move at a steady pace. My workouts are all about the same....stretching....3 sets of 6 different skills and then some cardio.......some days a little more cardio than others.
Then it's off to pick up my keys,passing both the training desk and the front desk, bidding all a nice day before heading home.Today, as I grabbed my keys, the same woman I had walked in with was heading out as well. Once again, I held the door ,we walked towards our cars, wished each other a pleasant afternoon and cautioned each other to stay warm.
It was just another typical day at my gym!
Shavua Tov!

Dumb or Dumber?

Play this link!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM
You can't lose what you don't have. It's just that simple. How many times have I not addressed a situation for fear of loss. 
I didn't ask her out because what if she said no ? 
Well nothing ventured nothing gained, and certainly nothing lost.The video link above is from Dumb and Dumber. I am neither dumb or dumber......except when I hide behind the irrational fear of losing something that I never had in the first place.
Is this seat taken?
Would you like to dance?
Can you pass the salt?
Are you stopping by today?
All fairly banal questions. We ask these types of questions on a daily basis. So why do I have such an issue asking questions that are just as simple but actually mean something to me? 
Are you planning to pay me?
When will you send me what I requested?
When will you do what you were asked to do?
When will you get back to me?
What does our relationship hold in the immediate future?
Do you plan to sign this contract?
When?
How would you like me to handle this?
These questions are just as easy and just as banal.
They come with a yes or no or some other type of definitive qualifying response..Too often the possibility of loss of something that I never had in the first place, keeps me from asking the most obvious and simple of questions.My fear of hearing something that I may not want to hear keeps me from even asking.Or,if I don't ask,maybe somehow the opportunity still exists,even if it never did in the first place.
It's cowardice on my part.It's not wanting to seem confrontational. It's the fear that somehow it will affect a relationship. All a bunch of bull and something which more often than not , I have conjured up n my own mind.
I'll sometimes complicate it by sending an email or text. When I don't get a response, I still have hope that eventually it will be answered even when I am clearly being ignored. If I pick up the phone, or even better,have a face to face conversation, I can get immediate definitive answers. It's not being pushy. These are simple enough questions that deserve a simple direct response.
The flight attendant asks "Can I get you a drink?"
Yes or no.
Ice or no ice?
Ice please!
Would you like to purchase a snack?
No thank you!
Simple questions....simple responses!She doesn't  think any more or any less of me by my answer. She just moves on.And she asks the next person the same question as I get back to whatever I was doing.
SO why do I complicate my life by not valuing myself enough to ask the simple question?
Because of my irrational fear of losing that which was never mine to lose in the first place.
Kind of makes more than dumb or dumber!


Shabbat Shalom!

There's something in the air!

There must have been something in the air yesterday. Emotional eating was a message I heard from a number of clients yesterday. From Florida to Connecticut to Las Vegas, the same theme kept popping up. Personally, by the time I finished breakfast I was disgusted with the way I looked and felt.Conversation after conversation all had the same resonating energy . People felt out of control and helpless. Time and time again the questions"why am I doing this to myself?" and "how do I stop?" came up.

20/20 hindsight....there was something in the air. 
It was a new moon. 
Coincidence? 
Or was Mother Nature in her divine sense of being, sending us a message ,a reminder?

I have no empirical data to support such an idea,however it does seem to connect.
Today, the Sun is shining and my mood is awesome!
It was awesome at 5:30 in the morning when I went to the gym. My attitude today was terrific the moment my feet hit the floor.I had a nice work out after what may have been the best 4 uninterrupted hours of sleep I have had in weeks.(I seem to sleep in 2 hour spurts).My workout partner was Janey on the Spot this morning as opposed to yesterday when she went completely MIA.
Yesterday every thing I did took a huge effort. Today there is a bounce in my step and I could not feel any more optimistic.
New moon?
 Maybe.
Historically,mankind and the moon have always had this strange relationship. In Judaism, Rosh Hodesh, the new month, is a celebration.At the school where Susan works, they celebrate by bringing in bagels and cakes and other goodies.
Aha....it's that food thing again!
I am sure if I were a student of these kinds of events, I would find that there are or were cultures who had ritual sacrifices and festivals around the new moon.
So what does this all mean? 
Does it give me permission to pig out once a month because the moon is in a different alignment? 
Will I experience something like this in two weeks when we have a full moon as well?
Do I just let Mother Nature and The Universe take over and does that mean I have no say in how I respond?
Absolutely not.
 I will however, now be more aware of this potential source of energy. I will acknowledge that there are forces beyond my control that I may want to pay attention to and be prepared to make adjustments around.On this winding road of life, I may want to remember that the road is not always smooth, the weather is not always calm and that I can exercise due diligence on a daily ,if not moment to moment basis.
Horoscopes, astrology, full moons, new moons,the tides,atmospheric pressure...whatever....all seem to play a part in how we may feel.
Bottom line, like it or not , is that we are one with Nature. We are all part and parcel of the same Universe, born from the same energy,made from the same matter.We are all connected. The plants, the Earth,the seas,the animals and ourselves are all cells of the same being.
Chew on that for a while!
(Instead of the bagel!)

Death of a Salesman!

I have been a salesman for the last 20 plus years.Technically we are all salesmen....selling ourselves when ever and where ever we are.However, under job description, the last 2 decades has always included"salesman". As a kid growing up with a father who was a sales person the one thing I swore I would never do is....be a salesman.
Quite honestly,I hate it.
There is never any immediate gratification. 
I often sell stuff in January and don't get paid until December.
The sale never comes with a "great job!" from the vendor.They believe people should just buy everything they create or have in their catalog.
Being an honest and truthful guy, I never promise what I can't deliver so my customers are often less than satisfied as I will never even hint that they are getting more than they actually are.
There is not a whole lot about selling I enjoy.
Okay,maybe not so....
I love interacting with people. 
I love educating people. 
I love engaging with people.
I love people.
I love anecdotal story telling. 
I love sharing my experience with others.
 I love hearing other people's experiences as well.
I love relating one on one or in a group setting.I love catching up with old friends and making new ones.
I love opportunity.
 I love delivering on what I sell.
And there is nothing sweeter than putting a deal together, particularly when it has taken some creativity. 
Unfortunately , that feeling only lasts a brief moment because selling after all is all about "what have you done for me lately".
This is probably the biggest reason I dislike selling.If you're not on, you're off.There is no afterglow. There is no resume' being added to. There is no compendium of achievements.There is only the next opportunity., the next sale to be made and more often than not, the next rejection and door to be slammed in your face.
Today, I am faced with this reality. It's selling time.On top of it all, I am selling new things. Things I have not sold before. Things that I am unfamiliar with.
Imagine the ice cream truck rolling down the street, music playing and bells ringing. Kids run from all ends of the neighborhood to jockey for position for their opportunity for an icy treat. Imagine their surprise when the guy in the truck, the guy they have know as their friendly ice cream man, the guy they wait for patiently day after day, shows up selling subscriptions to magazines.
The fire is getting harder and harder to keep aglow.
But as a most famous of movie lines as there ever was says.......
"This is the life we have chosen!"

The stuff of champions!

Sometime early on in yesterday's Super Bowl, Hakim Talib was called for an unsportsmanlike penalty. When they showed the replay, there it was, these two combatants,barking and snarling at each other on the sidelines.Like angry dogs showing their teeth,their nostrils flared and bodies stiffened as their helmets ,like facial leashes,kept them apart.Flags came flying and the referees stepped in to break to up.

Now comes the moment of choice for Mr. Talib. 
Do I let my emotions get the better of me or do I take a step back and understand exactly where I am and what is at stake?
Emotions run high during the game.If unchecked,they will consume you like a raging fire.If harnessed and used to our advantage,they can provide the energy to accomplish what others can only dream of.
I can only imagine the internal conversations that this modern day gladiator was now having with himself.
Was he beating himself up for what was obviously a stupid penalty?
Was he questioning his reaction ,double guessing what I am sure at the time felt like the necessary response? 
Was he fearful that his indiscretion may have cost his team in a big way?
No one knows other than Mr. Talib. I do know that he spent the rest of the game, doing all that he could to control his exuberance.He knew how important his role in this game was and understood that he,nor his team , could afford to let his lack of control tear apart all that they had worked for up to that point.

And so it is in the game of life.
There are times that we get angry. There are times when are emotions run amok. There are times when we are on the verge of potentially self destructive behavior.It is in that moment when winners are born. It is in that moment when the game changes. It is in that moment when we choose to become champions.
That's how Mr. Talib has a new ring coming this year. That's how Mr. Talib chose to use his energy. That's why Mr. Talib,for the rest of his days,no matter what, will be able to say he is a Super Bowl Champion.
Today, I will harness that anger that spilled out on Saturday. I will understand my role and how important it is to me and my family, my team.I will harness that same energy from Saturday and make the choices I need to insure that my team ends up victorious.
I act like a champion!

Another calm before another storm!

I have put my anger at rest for the day today. 
Actually,I put it away last night. On a night when we were supposed to go out socially for the first time in a very, very, very long time, Susan became ill. The obvious choice was to bail on our plans, and whisk her off to bed for a decent night's rest.We had a planned business engagement for Sunday morning and she wanted to be at her best for this.The anger that had fueled my day was inappropriate as a source of energy now. Instead, caretaker mode kicked in ,a role that required a calmer more empathetic state of being. I have chosen to maintain that state of calm today, knowing full well that tomorrow I must once again tap into yesterday's energy.
No one is making me angry. 
My anger which I will summon once again tomorrow, is an energy source that I believe is necessary for me to break free of the doldrums and malaise that has me shackled to my current situation.I wish I had the personal strength and intestinal fortitude to light my own fire without the aid of my anger. Someday, that may be possible. For today,or more precisely tomorrow, it will have to suffice as a most valuable asset.
There are many examples of potentially dangerous sources of energy put to good use that come to mind.
Nuclear energy is a product of such a dangerous source.
Controlled explosions cut pathways through mountains enabling us to build roads in otherwise un-passable terrains.
Radiation, which can be deadly,when used properly, is used in medical tests and treatments that save countless numbers of lives.
And so it is with anger. I must harness the energy that if left unchecked can be so destructive, and use it proportionately to help me find a better place and a better way to be.
It scares me. 
It should.
Yet I trust in my abilities and my gifts .
I trust that I will now how to manage my use of this emotion and turn it into a most positive experience.

Shavua Tov!

Unleash the Beast!

When I woke up this morning, I had every intention of sharing  something I witnessed last night. It was both heart warming and inspiring.My initial thoughts were positive and reflective. As I prepared to start my day, I realized that inside of me there was an uneasiness that did not relate to what the story I wanted to share had to offer. It was as if there was a wild animal deep within me that wanted to be set free. It was an angry feeling. Like a bull snorting and pawing at the ground, I knew it could not merely be ignored. I knew That I dare not turn my back on it for it would surely charge at me and completely overwhelm and devastate me.
Anger,fear, uncertainty, disappointment,betrayal and more were all words that were racing through my brain. The fierce animal inside was growing more and more restless. The feelings were becoming menacing.They must be addressed.
It was at that point that I remembered something that my mentor Darren Hardy shared with me a short while ago. 
When it is time for change,get angry!
Soon I abandoned my original writing plans and turned my attention towards the anger.
Get angry!
I started to think about all of the people I could be angry at.
I started listing all of the situations that I could be angry about.
I started tallying all of the disappointments that I could be angry about.
Staggering best describes the number of things and the number of individuals I could be angry at.
Then I remembered the rest of the advice Darren left me with. There is no one to blame for any of this other than myself.All of the things that have happened,I let happen. All of the folks who let me down? I allowed it.
All of the presumed failures rest squarely in one place,on my shoulders.
So what do I do with that? Do I beat myself up?Do I knock myself down? Do I berate and bemoan all that has come before?
No!
I get angry and I do something about it.
I draw not a proverbial but a real line in the sand and say enough is enough.
I can't change what has happened. I can't undo what has been done.
If something broke, I can't unbreak it.
I can repair it!
I can fix it!
I can chart a new course of action!
After so many defeats and let downs,where will I find the energy to pick myself up? To do it again? To start over one more time?
I will find it in the anger!The anger brings up an untapped wealth of resources that I either simply forgot about,become lazy over or never realized I had within me.
It does not matter where this energy was. All that matters is I have it at my disposal and now is the time to use it.
A number of months ago, someone called me out over some colorful language I had used i my writing.
"You right so beautifully why would you diminish it by using "cuss" words" she asked.
Because it was how I felt!
I wasn't mad....I was Fu@#ing P!$$ed off!
You get the idea.

Sometimes,anger is a really good thing.
Today is one of those sometimes!
Beware the beast is out!

Shabbat Shalom!

Time to get moving!

Finding up beat and energetic has been a chore today.I am not 100% sure what that is about. It is making for a pensive How Am I Doin' Friday and that's not exactly my favorite state of being.Hard as I try to shift my energy, I don't seem to be having much success.I am sure a big part of it is tied into something I have little control over at the moment. Knowing that will eventually kick in and I will let go and move on.
Last night I watched the end of the Bernie Maddoff special.While I am in no way minimizing the devastation he brought to countless numbers of individuals, I was particularly fascinated by the end.After all that happened, losing every thing he had,all $50 billion ,his family ,and his freedom , one of his final thoughts was that in the end,he just accepted what is. The stress and pressures of years of trying to manipulate that which ultimately was out of his control, were all gone.He had found  a form of zen....as odd as that may be.
When I stop tearing away at myself ,struggling to rectify things that I have no domain over I am peaceful.Foolishly,today I am not at peace. Try as I might, I will not find peace in the refrigerator, in the bread box, or in a kitchen cabinet. Nor will I find it at Quick Check ,7-11 or WAWA. Understanding that will help me keep from adding undue pressure on myself and beating myself up for poor food choices.
That which is at the crux of my struggle today has no immediate fix or answer. Like someone peering over your shoulder, I can't just ignore it.I just want to be able to not let it bother me. I have some thoughts and actions that can be taken to move beyond this. Engaging in them, even when there will be no immediate relief or fix ,will still help me make that much needed shift in my attitude.
Sometimes,motion,specifically guided motion, is enough to bring about change.
Time to get a move on!
Shabbat Shalom!

Add or subtract?

I have a number of clients who have either just hit their 100 day mark or are approaching it in the next few days. I mention this because as you may remember my Journey started out as a commitment to 100 days.I commend each and every one of them . I know how hard that commitment was. I know how far off 100 days seemed when they began.I am always encouraged and gratified to look back and see where their journeys began and where they are at day 100. We have developed relationships over those 100 days. Weight loss along with all sorts of other transformations. Birthdays celebrated, births, deaths, illnesses , accidents vacations, and holidays have all been celebrated with my new friends, none of whom I have ever met.I imagine they have no idea how much I enjoy accompanying them , even for this brief while, along the way.
I also noticed that there are two different distinct groups of 100 day counters,those who count up from 1 and those who count down from 100.Interestingly enough, those who count up are more inclined to keep in touch beyond the 100 day milepost. More often than not I just get a text reading Day 101,102 103 and so on. The people who count down from 100 invariably follow up with"now what?"
In many cases, there is down right confusion and fear for these folks.For over 3 months they were heading towards a very finite specific finish line.Now that they have arrived they have often neglected one of 2 things if not both. Number 1 is they did not prepare themselves for the inevitable tomorrow. With their heads down they worked diligently at making it to the finish line. Little do they realize that once they get to that point, they are truly at a crossroads in how to keep going.Good food choices or bad food choices. Choose the road to good health or the one that eventually circles back to where they began.It's easy to understand the fear, confusion and apprehension they now face.
The other big miss is something I remind each and every client on Day 2.....enjoy the Journey! With your eyes laser focused on the finish line, we tend to miss or ignore all that is transforming and transpiring around us.Rarely does this group acknowledge or even remember where they came from and what it has taken to get to where they are. They have literally spent 100 days focused on one thing and one thing only....getting done! One day at a time, they have subtracted and subtracted and subtracted to a net result of day 1....which if you follow that course eventually leads to what's next.
Yep 1 less day and you are at zero!
The other counters are always adding to as they Journey. They are gatherers.They collect days, experiences and knowledge. By Day 100 there arms and back packs are filled. More often than not, they just keep on keepin' on, collecting more days of good health. Collecting more days of good eating choices. And collecting more and more of the memories and treasures that have come their way on this Journey.
Me? 
I'm an up counter.My editor and I have set a marker for a cutoff point for the first book. It will be day 1000!For those who are interested, that will be March 18th.I checked my calendar and sadly I will be away from home on that day. As a matter of fact I will be gone the entire week leading up to it and for a few days beyond. By the time I return home for the gala celebration....well it will be day 1003 and I will be well on my way,continuing this Journey to who knows where!
That's what I like about being an up counter. There are no endings only new roads to be traveled and more adventures to be had.
See you all down the road a bit!

Oh No!

"Good morning skinny!" was the greeting I heard when I walked into shul this morning. I smiled and muttered "you mean fatso"!  My friend did not know when he genuinely and enthusiastically spoke to me was that my day had started with the startling realization that I no longer fit into my skinniest pants!
I was feeling fat!
Truth be told, even when I wore them, they really did not fit properly. I kind of squeezed into them.Today, squeezing would have needed the jaws of life.I imagine if I had done the lay down on the bed and suck your belly in thing I might....note might, have been able to close them. Breathing would have then become the challenge.Instead I hung them back in the closet, threw on my jeans and decided to celebrate the fact that the shirt which was tight on me last week, now fits me like it should.
Yes, I am still recovering from my trip to New Orleans.,a few too many good meals.The good news is that I am recovering! I have made the choice, using the tools and skills I have acquired over the last 2 years, to work my way back down.
It's a lot of work. 
It takes commitment and effort. 
It is much harder coming off than it was going on.So I have the same conversation with myself that I have with my clients. Basically.....MAN UP!
After 962 days of  effort,I am not willing to give up on, feel defeated about or minimize all that I have accomplished.I am a walking testament to what anyone can accomplish.Why would I latch on to anything negative when there is always something positive I can grab hold of? If I was adrift at sea would I look for an anchor or a life preserver?
Life is good!
My life is good!
I have worked hard at creating a life that is good!
The skinny pants?
In the words of that famous sage Arnold Schwarzenegger.....
I'll be back!

February Word of the Month:LOYAL

Another month another power word. Loyal....makes me think of a big yellow dog sitting curled up by my feet at night. Loyalty is another one of those words that resonates to the very core of who I am. I may be loyal to a fault. My loyalty has most undoubtedly cost me financially,socially , emotionally and physically. I know full well that my devotion to a particular cause,person organization or belief has at times kept me from exploring and venturing off in hopes of finding the next shiny object or pot of gold.Loyalty connects to and is consistent with fairness and appreciation.It comes with a sense of understanding and acceptance.Words like devotion and dedication come to mind when I think about being loyal.
This is probably why I become so offended,hurt and disoriented when my loyalty is questioned. Even worse is when that loyalty is not recognized at all and at times betrayed.It is incomprehensible to me that being loyal is not #1 in every one's personal behavior.I don't judge it....I just don't understand it.
It's simple....you don't just walk away. You never turn your back on someone or something.You never give up . You always look for the goodness, the kindness, the possibilities.
Here's the bad part of being loyal. It can be painful and expensive!The costs associated with loyalty can be staggering. The part I often fear is that I never completely understand the rewards that come with this loyalty. That is other than my ability to like the person I see in the mirror every single time I look into his eyes!