How Am I Doin on this the last How Am I Doin Frdayof 2016?

I don't know.....you tell me......here's me with a baby in my arms 12 years ago at age 50:
 
Here's me two months ago with 2 babes in my arms at age 62:

 
So you tell me.....How am I doin?
I guess not bad for an old man.
That baby will be Bar Mitzvah this coming May.
I will be more than happy to buy a new suit for the occasion and look as sharp as I possibly can.
Truth be told,were it not for all of the work I have done over the last 3 years, who knows where I would be today. 
I know one thing, I look a hell of a lot better in the red shirt in the second picture than I did in the red shirt in the first one!
My guestimate is that the jeans I was wearing in the first picture were probably 52's and I know the ones in the second picture are 32's(slims!)
(Okay right now, I can't quite squeeze into those either.)
I am doin' just great!
When my friend sent me that first picture yesterday with the note "guess who?" it hit home just how long this Journey has been. The answer to guess who is simple.....someone who like Elvis has left the building!

Shabbat Shalom 

And that my friends is a good thing!

My goodness.....I had no idea how bad I felt until I felt much better today!
I can practically breath freely and painlessly.With the exception of an occasional "okay don't do that yet" I am really a whole lot better which has obviously made life much more fun!
Note to self....being sick is not fun!
It is a fairly rainy crappy day here in North Jersey. The cold constant rain would be an invitation to remain inside were it not for the fact that I have been basically home bound for the last few days.I jumped at the opportunity to drive Susan to work today just to get out of the house for a short while.
There are a multitude of reasons why I choose to drive Susan to work daily. Number 1 is I may just need the car. I gave up my vehicle a while ago. It is the first time since I am 17 that I have not had my own car.Financially it makes sense and there is rarely a time when we both need access to a vehicle. When those rare occasions occur, we always seem to find a way to work around it.
With limited parking spaces at the shop, having one less parking spot occupied by the tenants is a huge plus.We have a total of 14 spots. Right now the landlord has 2 used vehicles for sale taking up 2 spots. If she has 1 or 2 workers in another 3 spots are taken up. Becca needs a vehicle ,so there goes another spot and the florist next door takes up at least 1 spot. So before a customer even shows up, half of the available spots are gone!
But most of all, getting my ass out of the house for a few minutes at the start of each day is a good thing.I leave the place I slept in all night and return to my office where I can start my day's work.
It may seem like a mind game to some ,however to me it creates a separation, a space and a routine that I find easy and comfortable to follow.
A car is just another tool or resource.Like any other resource using them in an efficient manner  is key to success. No matter what the resource is, money, time,technology or in this case a vehicle, maximizing the potential of any resource is important. Potential is opportunity lost if not capitalized.
I don't enjoy wasting anything. Not time.Not money. Not effort. Not even leftovers in my refrigerator.When I can create a meal using the castoffs from last night or the night before or even something I shoved in the freezer a month ago, I feel accomplished.
I have grown to appreciate abundance .Lack is a heavy burden to deal with.
Creative,productive  use of the resources available to me is a priceless gift .
It has afforded me an appreciation of even the smallest things in life.
And that my friends is a good thing!

Oh what fun it is.....

Not feeling well is testing my ability to be tolerant. Things that I could and would normally let just roll off my back are annoying and aggravating to me.Right now the dogs are in the yard as the plumber is doing extensive repairs to our heating system. What started out as a minor inconvenience (no heat in our bedroom) has blossomed in to a huge project which undoubtedly will be accompanied by an equally proportioned invoice. Of course the dogs would much rather be inside and are making their feelings known by barking for the last hour and a half.
Did I mention that while working on the boiler ,the heat must of course be turned off? With the front door ajar so that a drain hose can be in place, the 34 degree temperature outside has now made its way into my office space.
The cough which I developed over the weekend is subsiding however the jabbing pain in my ribs that accompanied the cough still persists. Every time I move, it's as if some one is shoving a knife in my side.
To say that I am less than my affable ,happy go lucky self would be an understatement. 
And trying to conduct business in a week where many people are just not around is another challenge. I have resigned myself to not sweating what I can't control and spending my energies and resources on those that I can.
I suppose if I were not as physically challenged, the rest of these challenges, like this down time for my vendors and customers, would be easier for me to deal with. 
I would suggest to myself to take a deep cleansing breath to regroup, however, as I said before, that deep breath would come with a sharp pain in my ribs!
I have a number f agenda items that I can take care of that require little to no input from any one else, so that is where I will devote my attention for the immediate future.
That is after I warm up and get these stupid animals to shut up!

Body and soul!

I lead my life by the virtues that were instilled in me by my parents. I am a fairly traditional guy with some rather set ways about me. I believe in what I believe . My core values are simple and reflect exactly who I am.
Growing up in a Jewish home , I always had the opportunity to experience 2 New Years Days a year. January 1st on the secular calendar and on Rosh Hashana on the Jewish calendar.
While this may have seemed confusing to my gentile friends, to me it was quite simple. Although they both mark the beginning of a new year, they signify two completely different things to me.
January 1st marks the beginning of a new calendar year.It is a time for mapping out a course into the new year.
 What in my life can I improve upon?
What bad habits can I let go of?
What new practices can I incorporate?
What goals can I set for myself to achieve in the next 12 months?
There is something tangible about the entire process.
It's like a self improvement program for myself.
Rosh Hashana marks the coming of a different type of new year. 
It is part of a High Holiday experience that culminates on Yom Kippur where my fate is once again sealed as I hopefully get written into the Book of Life for another year.
It is about my soul It is about my spirit. It is about my neshoma......the thing that makes me me.
I is a self improvement program for my soul.
The secular New Year is festive , boisterous and laden with hopes of prosperity, good health and success.
The Jewish New Year for me is more pensive,soul searching and  certainly has much less bravado.
Saturday night we will shout Happy New Year to all.....on Rosh Hashana, I look into the eyes of those I care about and wish them a sweet and healthy New Year.
It is more than a subtle difference.
January 1st is at the very beginning of Winter. I know that there will be many weeks of cold before the first signs of the seeds that I've planted bursts through and show any signs of life.
After Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur,we celebrate Sukkoth, the final harvest season. We sit and rejoice and partake of the fruits of our labors and the sacrifices we have made through out the year before beginning the process all over again.
I like having 2 New Years Days.
It helps my balance. They work well together. 
And when I pay attention, I find that I can incorporate what each one brings separately into a truly wonderful experience.
Body and soul!

Yuccccch!

I came down with a cold on Thursday. In the 3 years since I began this Journey, this is the first significant cold I have had. It knocked the crap out of me on Friday,and has absolutely put a damper on every thing for me through the holiday weekend. My head is stuffed up. I'm breathing through my mouth. Now It's working itself into a cough as well.Food has no taste and at times keeping my head up is a challenge.
So today started with an hour of cardio at 7 and after I send off this email , I will head back to the gym for a lower body workout with my trainer.
What's the old adage.....Feed a fever,ignore a cold?
Yesterday was Christmas Day which came with the annual trek to South Jersey. My niece Jill offered up her new house for us all to gather. They finished construction just about 10 months ago so this served as both a Holiday gathering and house warming.
It was very nice that she stepped up and I am sure every one appreciated it.
This year as part of our Holiday gift giving I included what I am calling the Live 2 XL 2017 Goals Challenge. It's and idea that my brother launched at the Why Weight Christmas party. Inside of every one's gift was an envelope. The envelope contained a card and a stamped envelope addressed to me. On the card you were to write your 5 goals for 2017,send the card back to me and in December I will mail it back to you so you can see how you did.I thought it would be fun.
We'll see how many cards I actually get back. One person actually walked me aside and said "I don't make goals.....I hate knowing that I failed or gave up".
Well that's exactly the point of this exercise. The accountability factor. Once you put it out there and know that it will be appearing in your mail box sometime later in the year, Maybe just maybe you will pay attention to achieving your goals instead of it becoming another hollow New Years resolution.
I know the first thing that came to my mind when I started to fill out the card. 
Finish my book!
I didn't write it down yet. That's one hell of a commitment to make to myself. I could hedge my goal and say continue with my book or work diligently on my book, but finish my book> Whew ....that's another whole ball of wax!
I have a week to fill out my dance card .....
my 5 goals for 2017.
Commitment is doing today and tomorrow what I set to do yesterday now that the mood has left me.
This will take some thought.....and then a whole boat load of commitment!

All I want for Christmas is......

When I spend longer periods of time in my car, I like to listen to audio books. It's a great way for me to keep up on my reading. This week I found myself making many short trips to either the gym ,the shop, or to the market. Instead of my audio books I ended up listening to the local radio stations which as you are well aware of, play loads and loads of commercials. I was reminded , no bombarded with advertising regarding what it was i needed wanted and could not possibly live without during this holiday season.
I need to get a new car this holiday season.
I need more bandwidth this holiday season.
I need a 148 piece mechanics tool set and a power saw this holiday season.
I need something from every clothing store, department store,appliance store, electronics store,toy store,supermarket and drug store in the area.
I need new pillows.
I need chocolate covered berries.
I need pajamas.
I need steaks.
And all of these I can get by just ordering them on line.....and if I hurry and use a special code they will rush my order to me and offer me all kinds of extra incentives.
It's absolutely staggering how much stuff I need that I didn't even realize I needed!
But seriously,it made me start to think about what I might really want. What could some one get for me that I would rally appreciate?
While standing on line at the print department at the local Staples, I struck up a conversation with a young woman who was in a panic over a project she was trying to get done and rushed out the door.
Being the helpful sort of fellow that I am,I made a few suggestions that she might want to try. After a few moments and not much help from the sales staff,my advice seemed to calm her down. We continued our conversation as both of us were going to be there for quite some time. She asked about my project,something I am doing for Live 2 XL and family Christmas gifts. One thing led to another, and the story of my Journey came up. She was fascinated. I shared with her my project and as she read it tears welled up in her eyes.
She asked if I had a business card and it just so happened that I did.
Eventually both of our jobs were completed and we went our merry ways.
The following morning I received an email from my new friend with a simple note.
"It was so meeting you last night. I was in crisis mode and you really calmed me down. I can't thank you enough. Would you mind adding me to your daily email list? I would really like to stay in touch".And there it was. That is exactly the gift I want this year. I want to add more people to my list. I want to share with more people.I want to hear from more people and have more people accompany me on my Journey.So if you were thinking about getting me a gift for the holidays or for my birthday or just because you think I'm a great guy, let that gift be a new friend I can add to my email list.
That is what I want as my holiday gift!
Shabbat Shalom!

T'is the Season!

On my drive home after dropping Susan at the shop this morning, the radio was on the  station that plays non-stop Christmas music starting on Thanksgiving. Actually, this year, I remember griping about the fact that they actually started playing this music a week before Thanksgiving.I remember complaining to my family that I hate the fact that we no longer get to enjoy things in season. Christmas carols should be sung after Thanksgiving...never before!
Back to school specials in stores should not start in mid July. 
Black Friday is a 1 day event, not a month long celebration.
And the 4th of July is a day, not a month!
Susan told me that in one store that she shops at regularly, they had already moved Christmas to the dumps where they put the sell down merchandise and converted the prime sales space to Spring items.
Can we just slow down!
Back to the radio. It dawned on me that in less than 72 hours this "holiday " season will be behind us. And a week later, another year gone.Poof, just like that 2016 will no longer exist. It will be 2017. Remember when you were in grade school? That first day or so back after the New Year's break. When on the top of your homework  after putting your name in the upper corner, you put the date and invariably you forgot to change the year? 
I remember getting my assignment back with that big red circle around the date .
That red circle should have served as a warning. Time flies by too quickly. And when it's gone , it's gone!
The red circle screamed at me"get with the program!" 
Move on!
Go, go, go go go!
It's Winter time. We as humans have adapted to Winter. We put on extra clothes. We turn up the heat. All other living things seem to understand that Winter marks a time for change. A time to slow down. A time to hibernate. A time to rest and draw upon our reserves until the next growing season comes upon us.
Instead we just plow on as if Winter doesn't exist. 
Snow?
We used to have snow tires. Now we have all wheel drive and 4 wheel drive.
We ignore what every other life form understands to be a critical part of life.
I don't like rushing through life.
It saddens me.
I wrote earlier in the week that by today's standards I have approximately 4000 days left to live. Since then 4 days have passed. That's 1/10 of 1%. It doesn't seem like a big deal ,but just wait. Before I know it that will become 1% and then 10% . 
You see where this is going?
It's a reminder to me to just slow things down.Enjoy today.One day at a time.
Tonight we light Shabbat candles . It is a weekly reminder to slow down, to shut down,to regroup, And to cherish every single day,week and season in its own time
Shabbat Shalom! 

Happy Winter!

Yesterday was the first official day of Winter. It was the shortest day of the year and maybe that accounts for why I seemed to have no time to myself yesterday.I spent a full 18 hours being busy. At what? I'm not 100% sure. All I know is that by day's end I had not taken any time to reach out to you.
Early in the morning when I walked into services, a good friend asked if things in my life had improved. I assured him that in fact, I was actually in a great mood and looking forward to the rest of my day.
 short while later, I ran into another friend who commented that he had gathered from my writings that life didn't seem like a lot of fun for me lately.
Again I shared with him that that was all behind me and I was looking forward to the upcoming holidays.
I also shared with him that over the last couple of days I had debated with myself in regards to what I was writing about. 
I could have chosen to turn my back on how I was feeling and written something that was more uplifting and optimistic. I felt that would have been disingenuous on my part.
Stuff was bothering me. I was uncomfortable. Covering them up or ignoring my discomfort felt dishonest to me.I also knew I needed a release,a way to get the gorilla out of its cage.
Sure there might be some mayhem and chaos when I did,however I knew that I could deal with that.
Sure enough, when the day started yesterday, the beast that had been tearing me up had all but disappeared.
The wildfire that was raging inside of me had softened and was now as comfortable as a warm stove on a cold Winter's day.
There was a pep in my step and a smile on my face.(Well a David smile but a smile none the less!)
By the end of the day yesterday, I had come to understand most of what I had found so troublesome and had developed a plan to move on. A plan which included letting go of a lot of that "stuff".
Life is good!
Ups and downs are a part of it. I don't know about you, but as for me, I can live with that!

Bah!

Don't even ask where that free day on Sunday that we created by not going to South Jersey disappeared to ....I have no idea!
20/20 hindsight has me thinking that I wasted a day away!The average lifetime is calculated to have 27,375 days to it. If I do some quick math on average I have around 4000 days left. Wasting even one of them seems frivolous to me.
The sad news I feel the same way today.My morning started when Susan got a phone call which for some reason I decided to choose to react in a negative way to. It has soured my day,a choice which has continued to contaminate the rest of my day.
It is now going on 2 p.m. and I am in one foul mood. I have made one choice after another to continue to climb into this hole I have created and seem content and hell bent to wallow where I am if not to continue digging the hole even deeper. 
What's up with that?
There none of this is anything worth or in need of sharing.The only part I am sharing is the general attitude I have taken on today. 
Holiday blues?
Seasonal stress?
The pressures of every day life?
My discomfort in where I am in life?
All of the above?
Probably.
The one thing I know is this is all a matter of choice and for some reason I am choosing to be stuck here.
How do I fix it? Easy....make some other choices.
As simple as that sounds, I seem to be reluctant to do that. I have made a few attempts and each time some thing else has popped up and once again I made the choice to wallow.
I went to the gym, I sent some emails, I had some lunch ,I even tried to do some Holiday shopping on line hoping it would brighten my spirits.
Nothing, nada,zilch,zero,bupkis!
In this moment the only people who might enjoy my company and whose company I might enjoy is the Grinch and Ebeneezer Scroge. The good news is even they eventually had epiphanic moments.
I think what I will do now is go take a shower.
 Maybe more than just my body will get cleaned up!

Down Time........

Susan has made the executive decision that we will not drive down to see her parents in South Jersey this weekend.Her dad is scheduled to come home from rehab this Wednesday and after 4 trips down in the space of 3 weeks, and having spent any possible days off from the shop with them, she wants to take some time to get our house in order before the holiday weekend when we will make the trek south once again.
I can't really blame her and for one weekend I agree that those who live closer can pull a little extra duty and cover for us.
To be honest, I can use the break as well.It is getting to that time of the year when my customers and vendors alike start to shut down and disappear for the holiday.While I still have a number of things that I have to get done, the reality is that much of it depends on being able to communicate with people who will not be available until after New Year's day.So I will do what I can and some how learn to just let go.
Sometimes I just have to let go, to loosen my grip and trust that I don't have to spend every hour of every day hanging on for dear life.
My mentor Darren Hardy spoke about this yesterday.Take a break. Refuel your jets.Clear your head and give your body a break.
It sounds so simple. It also sounds absolutely delightful.
For me,however,it is something that I have never been able to do.For me it feels more difficult than dieting or quitting smoking (although I've never been a smoker) or breaking any other habit.
And I know exactly where this angst comes from. It comes from a place of lack.
The fear of not having or not having enough. For me it is a huge F.E.A.R!
False Evidence Appearing Real
I can and have time and time again, loaded up my plate ,subjected myself to constant motion,convincing myself that if I stop something dreadful will happen.
The truth is,what will happen will happen, what will be will be, and I will deal with it when that time comes.
So the number one item on my to do list for the immediate future is to make and enjoy some down time.
While getting away would be nice, it's not in the cards,so I will have to become resourceful and find that down time in the comforts of the world I live in.
The truth is,until I can learn how to do this at home, I will never be able to go away and accomplish it.
I know you are probably thinking I'm nuts! Vacations and down time are what most people look forward to and enjoy the most. People live for the weekend.I can't begin to explain to you just how scary this prospect is to me.
Here's the deal...Feel the fear and do it anyway. That's what I am going with for now. I'll let you know how it goes.
Shabbat Shalom!

How am I doing on this How Am I Doin' Friday?

Well to be honest, so far I am not enjoying my day. The fact that the scale did not move in and of itself was not a plus or minus. The good news is I stayed exactly where I was yesterday. Conversely when you are being a stringent as I am, you always hope for a loss.
It was a little chilly (16 degrees) when I drove Susan to the shop. Once again, even that was no big deal. After all the car has heat.
I suppose the part of my day that is challenging my spirit is that upon returning home, I spent an hour paying bills. The good, no make that awesome news, is that every thing and I mean every thing is paid. I don't have another payment due until 2017.
The part that has me a little disheartened is just how much I watched fly out of my account in such a short period of time.
Normally when I pay my bills, I feel good. I feel as if  have accomplished something. I have a sense of pride knowing that I have met the challenge of providing for my family.
Today, I feel drained. 
It has effected me in such a way that I had trouble connecting to any of my daily personal emails. I got half way through my horoscope and hit delete. It just wasn't resonating with me. I Listened to my message from my mentor 3 different times,never finding the calm that allows me to hear what he is saying. It kept turning into blah,blah, blah. blah, blah.
The same thing happened when I tried to listen to John Maxwell on Day 12 of intentional living.
To be honest, Darren's message (Take time off to re-energize) did manage to stick in my head. Now all I have to do is create a plan to do that.
Paying bills is usually exciting to me.
Today it was distasteful.
The good news is that it's done. My desk is clear and I can now go about the rest of my day's activities.
Shopping for Shabbat dinner,the gym, an errand for Sara,and of course follow up on a bunch of work related items.
I have a letter to write to a friend that is long over due. His last 2 letters are sitting near my monitor staring at me. I feel badly that I have not responded since October when he sent me a birthday card. 
Actually, now I feel even worse about that. For 2 months I have had his letters sitting on my desk and I have not taken the short amount of time to write back. Did I mention that he is on vacation courtesy of the NY State corrections department? I know how much he appreciates receiving mail and yet I have not found the time to send him a note. It's Christmas time......even cons want to feel like somebody cares.
I am disappointed in myself and I will correct that  today.
I guess this day is an example of yet another one of those truisms that keep popping up for me.Today has been the proverbial eat the frog day.
Eat the frog.
It's a pretty distasteful image. Yet the best way to address it is just get it done as quickly as possible. Then at least I know it's out of the way and I can move on with the rest of my day.
So there's the good news. The frog has been devoured and it's not even 10 a.m. yet.
I think I'll grab a cup of coffee to wash it down and then go about enjoying the rest of my day!
Shabbat Shalom!

In the meantime.....

I can't help to notice that certain themes,certain truisms, repeat themselves or come back to me from time to time.
"What we do some of the time is what we do all of the time."
"Change is inevitable."
"If you are not growing you're dying."
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
No matter which of the many mentors in my life that I work with,they each has a core set of principles that are the corner stones of their particular beliefs and way of living.
Andy Andrew's has the 7 decisions.
Og Mandino has the 10 principles.
John Maxwell 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.
In each of these cases,there is rarely anything new.When push comes to shove, the message is clear and often the same. 
This is a good thing!
When so many who are so proficient at what they espouse, all return to the same basic set of ingredients to leading a life of meaning and purpose,who am I to disagree.
The message is clear.
I just need to be constantly reminded.
Today,once again, I was reminded of another one of these principles.
When I read my horoscope for today one line stood out......
"Many people lose themselves in their dreams when they are dissatisfied with their lot rather than take a stand to invite satisfaction into their lives. Our lives are only ours to control when we are willing to look about our circumstances with open eyes, so we must address the immediate concerns worrying us before we can look into the future with hopeful hearts. "Immediately my thoughts brought me back to an Andy Dooley workshop I attended with my brother 2 1/2 years ago.
We participated in an activity addressing first our dreams, then what that dream might feel like were it so and ultimately, we dealt with the "in the mean time."
In the mean time......the reality of today. The beauty of today. The gift that is my life today.
Way to often I catch myself saying "if only?"
Or "when I......"
And the ever scary "Someday!".
(BTW.....check any calendar.....there are no Somedays on them". )
I have been following John Maxwell's 30 day Journey towards intentional living. Today is Day 11 for me. As fate would have it, his message today resonated with my horoscope.....live in the now. Make a difference today. Say I am instead of I will.
There is a huge difference in saying I intend to do something than in actually doing it.
This has come up for me before. Just a any and many of the other undeniable realities that my mentors point out from time to time.
They are like stones and branches on the path of my Journey.
What a thrill it is for me to stumble on each and every one of them when they do pop up.
Each and every time I do, I manage to regain my footing and it always serves to make me that much more sure footed as I continue on my way.

I'm exhausted!

Something that Susan ate yesterday obviously did not sit well with her. Sparing you from all of the gruesome details,she finally made it back to bed around 2 a.m .I did not fall asleep until some time around 4, and it being Wednesday, I was up at 6 to get dressed and ready to go to shul.
I suggested that she stay in bed and grab an extra hour or so of sleep.I told her I would wake her when I got home. I also texted Becca to make sure she opened the shop today,something that Susan normally does. By 8:30,(opening time) we were on our way. 
No harm no foul.
We had some electrical issues last night at the shop ,so I stuck around until our landlord and neighbor got in so that we could sort them out.
By 10, I was on my way back to the office.
I am still chasing down the mis-deposited funds from 2 days ago, a situation I hope will be rectified today.
As I sit here typing away, I can barely keep my eyes open.
2 hours of shut eye is just not enough to keep me energized.
My natural fall back would be to comfort myself with food. When I don't get enough sleep, I have to replenish some how.Food,specifically comfort food has always been my go to substitute choice.
All of the items on my agenda today are things that will take a whole lot of effort. They all require my abilities to be creative,with tons of follow through.
Getting started on any of these feels like starting a car on a bitter cold Winter morning.
If you live in the Northeast,you know exactly what I mean. You turn the key and the battery in your vehicle makes that sound and all you can do is repeat over and over"c'mon baby....not today!, let's go!"
Luckily for me, I still have enough of a charge left to crank it over. I have not yet hit the point where when you turn the key all you get is click.
I just need to pick one item on my list and get it started. Once I get on a roll I am sure I can keep moving.
Oh,....BTW....Susan is much better today. I am sure by day's end she will be ready for a good night's rest. I armed her with a bottle of Pedialite and some crackers and jelly to snack on until she feels up to something more substantial.
As for myself? 
I'm going to go grab a cup of coffee and then get on with my day!

 Today is day 30 of The 30 Day Happiness Challenge!

Here's a link for anyone interested:

http://whywaitcoaching.com/join-the-happiness-challenge/  

Keep your eye on the ball!

After writing about my need to focus yesterday, I proceeded to deposit a check into the wrong bank account, ask the service attendant for $20 cash worth of gas not realizing I only had $10 and then when parking at the gym turning my car off while forgetting to put it in park.
So much for focus!
All of this took place within 30 minutes of leaving my desk.
Like a receiver who looks up field before securing the pass in football, I was guaranteeing the same outcome. I had taken my eye off of the ball which inevitably led to me dropping the ball.
I then spent the next hour and a half in the gym,all the while mentally discussing with myself what had just happened and why it had happened and how to move on from there.
First I had to let go of my errors.Beating myself up was not going to help the situation. There were some consequences to deal with from my miscues,all correctable and certainly not Earth shattering.I caught myself on several occasions starting to berate myself for having been so careless. In the same instant, I knew that would accomplish nothing and that forgiving myself would allow me to move on.
The by product of all of this was that these 3 incidents, all in a very short period of time, served as a great tool for me. Like a giant warning sign, they kept me aware the rest of the day,of just how important it is for me to remain focused on the task at hand , the one that I was dealing with in the moment, before even considering what was next for me to do.
By days end,I had handled a number of agenda items, each and every one of them things that I had the ability to control. The things that were out of my control? The what if's or what happens when became irrelevant.
They were going to appear at some time or another and I knew I could and would deal with them at that time. Which is exactly where my day will start today.
So I am off to the bank to see how to resolve that first miscue.
And yes, I have forgiven myself!

 The 30 Day Happiness Challenge!

Here's a link for anyone interested:

http://whywaitcoaching.com/join-the-happiness-challenge/  

Moving on.....

The Winter storm that was called for last night started actually was more bluster than accumulation. By the wee hours of the morning,the snow had turned to rain. Patches of snow and ice are reminders that indeed Winter is around the corner,however for today,what we have is a late Autumn rainy day.The skies are grey, the roads are slick and the chill in the air is damp and off putting.
It's a great day to be inside!
Today is the day I return to the gym. I have an 11 am appointment with my trainer.The good news is I have no where to go but up. I feel as if I am at ground zero with my workouts. Yesterday I spent 20 minutes on the bike and 20 minutes on the treadmill, neither of which left me feeling the rush of endorphin one might experience after a great workout. As a matter of fact,I was glad to be done. The reality of just how far my conditioning has dropped was a little depressing.
Like I said, the good news is I am doing something about this starting today.
Focus!
That's the word for today.
All of a sudden I seem to have quite a bit on my plate. Most of what is there is in it's embryonic state and needs my utmost attention.
My to do list resembles just so many seedlings delicately needing my care.
As I look over this agenda, I am becoming well aware of just how strategically critical each of these items are and how a lack of focus and developing a real plan of action can have significant consequences. Prioritizing,focus and follow through are words that keep coming up for me.
(Speaking of focus and attention to detail....it's 9:07 and I am late for a 9 o'clock telephone call.)
9:38....and I am back.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, focus and attention to detail in follow up and planning.
Got it.
It just dawned on me that the one element missing from the equation for me is the support staff that has been so integral to my success and survival for more than a decade.With Becky on maternity leave and no clear picture of what moving forward looks like I am nervous when it comes to exactly how to proceed from here. If that relationship was still in place,I have a pretty good idea as to what many of my "next" moves would look like.Without it, I do feel a bit like a deer in the headlights. I must get over this and that must happen immediately.
Change is inevitable.
Familiar is comfortable. 
Crossroads appear suddenly and often.
Time to choose the road not taken.

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Shabbat Shalom....

Last night I returned home to find that my dogs had found the tray of chicken I had sitting on the counter waiting to pop in the oven for dinner.What was once 2 whole chickens was now a basically lunch for 2,which would have been fine if I wasn't expecting 7 for dinner.
I was furious!
I yelled at them,stomped around a bit ,flailed my arms in rage and told them I hoped they choke to death on the bones.
Obviously this was an inappropriate and disproportionate response. 
Besides,who was I really mad at?
The dogs? 
They were doing what dogs do. It smelled good....let's eat it!
No I was mad at myself. I really should have known better than to leave the house with such a great temptation so conveniently accessible. 
I was also annoyed that my carefully laid out plans had now been uprooted. The most tranquil and enjoyable part of my week,Shabbat dinner with my family, had been compromised in my eyes.
20 minutes and $30 later I had managed to reconstruct what a short while earlier seemed to have been destroyed.
So what was the big deal?
Why did I become so upset?
What was the reason for this disproportionate over the top reaction that I had to what in hindsight was actually a pretty humorous event?
I wish I had an answer.
Maybe it is because it was Shabbat dinner, the one time during the week where I can provide for and spend time with those who I love the most.
Friday night dinner,in my house,at my table,prepared by me,with thought , love,care and kindness.
And just like that,it felt as if it had been stolen from me. 
I felt violated.
I felt threatened.
And I did not want to let my loved ones down.
The truth is, if I had ordered in a couple of pizzas,no one would have cared.
No one that is except for me.
This may seem like a simple story. I think there is a whole lot more behind it. 
What is with this need I have to be the provider?
What is so important about feeding my flock?
(Did I just call them my flock?)
Why is it so important for me to create this weekly moment in time where the only thing that matters is the group who sits and eats together once a week on Friday night?
Every week,we come together and before we eat,we say kiddush (the prayer over the wine) and ha motzi (the prayer over the bread) and Susan lights the Shabbat candles for which there is also a prayer.
Each of these prayers starts with the same Hebrew word ....Baruch.
Baruch....simply meaning blessed.
And there it is!
It is in that moment,on a weekly basis,the one time that without exception,that  I understand just how truly blessed I am.
Shabbat Shalom!

Making progress!

My last appointment with my podiatrist (foot doctor) was scheduled for sometime in early to mid October. For one reason or another I missed that appointment. I am usually very diligent,every 4-6 weeks, about having my feet cleaned up. If I go past that ,invariably problems develop. Problems that are very painful!
So the fact that I am 8 weeks beyond that threshold might give you a clue as to just how much discomfort I have been experiencing lately.
This morning with the NY Trade show come and gone, I had the opportunity to add making a new appointment to my agenda. Around 10 am I called and asked when the first available appointment might be. They asked if I could come in right away and I was more than happy to take them up on the offer.
An hour later,I was on my way home.
I can not begin to describe the relief I felt and how good it felt to walk with out pain again.My pace quickened.I was standing tall and it must have shown as people were making eye contact and greeting me where ever I went.
The whole experience got me to thinking. Life is not much different than the tale of my feet.When I do not pay attention to things and let the little things go unattended, they end up creating challenges in other spheres of my life.
The little growth left untreated on the side of my foot caused me to walk differently. This caused pain in my ankles,eventually causing pain in my knee and putting pressure on my back.You see the connection?
The pain was not pleasant,which obviously effecting my mood.My mood had negative effects on the way I was showing up in life. And the downward spiral was gaining momentum.
So it is with any thing left unattended in my world.Every thing has an effect on every thing else.
Last week I proclaimed "enough is enough" and decided to do something about my weight. I also scheduled a workout program and a return to the gym.
Taking care of my feet was another small step in the right direction.
Each action leads to another. When building a cabin, we add one log at a time.
If I can keep this up, I know I will end up with a marvelous chalet!
And that's How I Am Doin' this Friday!
Shabbat Shalom!

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Good morning!

 I found myself with an extra hour or so and I am choosing to take this opportunity to catch up a little bit with you. I have been getting up at 5 each day this week, heading into NY for a trade show and getting back sometime around 8 pm. After a quick dinner and clearing out emails, I have not had much "me" time.This morning was no different. My ride was picking me up at 6 so by 5:55 I was standing outside,ready to take on one more day. At 6:10 I checked my text messages to find a text from 5:556 saying we would be delayed at least an hour more like over and hour and a half. 
To say I was not happy about this is probably an understatement. An extra hour and a half of sleep would have felt really nice. The fact that I had planned out my day based upon the schedule I had been given also made this news a little annoying. Top all of this off with the fact that we will now be attempting to cross the George Washington Bridge at the height of rush hour and you may start to understand just how I might be reacting to all of this.
Instead, I am looking at the opportunity I now have to spend a few minutes with you.
Trust me,I am still plenty annoyed. I am not at all pleased or looking forward to the extra added stress I feel welling up inside of me. I will sped the next short while trying to let go of this since I know how destructive and unproductive buying into all of that might be.
The good news is that I have committed myself to addressing my burgeoning weight this week.Were it not for that, this would absolutely be a mindless food orgy as I tried to calm myself from today's start.I am committed to not let this set of circumstances derail me.
It has been a good week so far,different than what I have experienced in the past at this show.Partially this is due to the changes in support in my office that have happened and partially by the change in the course of the business itself.The biggest difference though is in my approach to this show. My attitude has been different. Searching for that elusive path to "success" has not been part of my agenda. Instead I have shown up on a daily basis supported by the knowledge and acknowledgement of my own self wort.
This coupled with the understanding that I am competent and I am in control and I will succeed,has freed me to just be me,the best me possible.
As I said, I am going to need some wind down from this morning's delay. A cup of coffee and some quiet time before my ride gets here sounds like a grand idea.
Tomorrow this will all be in the past and I will be back to my normal routine (whatever that will be).
For now, I am grateful for the time and opportunity to reach out. Reconnecting feels great!
Have an awesome day.....I  know I plan to!

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Enough is enough!

For weeks I have been watching my weight creep up and up.My clothes are not fitting or not fitting correctly. I opt for sweat pants when I have the opportunity. Hoodies have replaced my shirt and tie. None of this is acceptable.
Except on Sundays, I have not been to the gym in well over a month,since my hand blew up towards the end of October.Even before that I was becoming a slacker.
Enough is enough.
Saturday I decided it was time to begin the process of reigning myself back in. Mentally I committed to a minimum of 3 weeks of clean,clean eating. # weeks of the Why Weight program would be a good beginning.
I also stopped in to see my trainer and set up a plan of action starting next week after the NY show is over. We have set up 10 training sessions over a 12 day period.I'll take 1 day off and 1 day of strictly cardio.
When I spoke to him he said "you look healthy!". 
Bullshit!
I feel fat and disgusting!
The scale and the mirror do not lie!
Besides, I know how far astray I have gone and how lazy I have become.
I called him out.
"Don't blow smoke up my ass!"
He insisted he wasn't and would be more than willing to make my life a living hell for 2 weeks at least.
I am excited to be taking control once again.
I could be melancholy over the stumble,over having to retrace my steps on a road I have already traveled. 
Instead I have decided to seize the opportunity and fight and claw my way back to some sort of respectability.
Today was day 1.....
......and the counting begins again!
Shavua Tov!

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Personal Growth 101.....

As I drove home from the shop this morning I was listening to my current audio book on Audible,The 7 Decisions by Andy Andrews.My friend Wayne had suggested Andy's book ,The Travelers Guide to me as a good read at a time when I was struggling with some personal issues. After reading The Travelers Guide,I was curious to continue to hear more from Mr. Andrews about this subject. I have found this second book enlightening as well as engaging. Yesterday, I downloaded another book by Andy,Mastering the 7 Decisions, which is a good thing since this morning I realized that I was listening to the last chapter of my current book.
I listen to audio books. I read printed books as well. I listen daily to messages from my mentors John Maxwell and Darren Hardy. I receive a message from Mike Dooley every day as well (Messages from The Universe).
I read my Daily Om!.
Most days I open my horoscope (I often don't get through them completely as sometimes they just aren't resonating with me).
The point I am making is that 3 years ago, I could not have imagined that I would be spending one minute of my day doing any of these things. The only personal growth I was experiencing was around my waist line!
I am often perplexed and disturbed by the question"to what end?"
What is the purpose of me spending so much time and energy on this part of my life?
What am I supposed to do with this?
Is it enough to just consume all of this without some sort of action plan around it?
I have no idea. I am starting to feel like a personal growth hoarder.While listening to Andy Andrews,he mentioned that he had read Og Mandino's The Greatest Salesman in the World over 400 times. (yes I said 400 times!)
Obviously, I just ordered Og Mandino's book as well.
Until I read The 7 Decisions I had nevereven heard of Og Mandino.Then again,there was a time when I had no idea who Andy Andrews was. Or Darren Hardy. Or John Maxwell.Or Jim Rohn. Or Zig Ziglar. Or Mike Dooley,or his brother Andy or....well the list goes on and on.
People often ask me "in a perfect world what would you spend your time doing".
That's an easy answer.
More!
More of this stuff.
Reading more,,discussing more,sharing more and living with more of this absolutely thrilling stuff!
Here's the thing though. I am not wowed by these people. I am not in awe of this people.I don't even necessarily hold them up to be some sort of Guru's helping me towards some enlightened state. Even though they are my mentors,my connection to them is somehow different It is as if we are kindred spirits in some way. They are gracious enough to share their knowledge and experiences with me and I suppose I am feeling the need to do the same,share what it is that I have learned and am learning and what I have experienced and am experiencing.
My quandary is no matter which job search websites I go to I have yet to find a posting for Personal Growth Guru needed.
I am sure that at some point that listing will just pop up so for now, I guess I will just keep loading up my tool belt and continue readying myself for the day that I am called upon to come off of the bench and get into the game.
There will come a time to pay it forward!



Shabbat Shalom!

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