Grand Funk Ending

“Be changed and the world around you begins to change.”

~ Dr. Gerald Epstein

I have been in a grand funk for quite some time now.

During the last week, that funk has become overwhelming as evidenced by my lack of writing.

Without boring you with or rehashing the underlying elements of that funk, I made the decision today to start the process of moving on.

I am not even going to bother you or myself with the minutiae of why I was in this funk or what the possible causes of this funk were.

None of that really matters.

What matters is making the choice to move on.

Once I made that choice, it is amazing at just how easy it is to pull myself out of that fog.

When the opportunity to have a conversation with someone about my malaise appeared, I grabbed it.

The person I shared this with was at best an acquaintance, certainly not someone who is an old friend.

I may have had a dozen conversations with her since we met 2 years ago.

Still when she asked how my holiday was,I allowed myself to share some of what I have been experiencing lately with her.

It was remarkably freeing.

On my ride home,I reached out to a dear friend who had written to me a week or so ago.

"I realized that I owed you a phone call and here it is!"

We spoke briefly, about 20 minutes or so, but now I felt as if I was gaining momentum.

The fog was continuing to dissipate.

I opened my emails and found one from 9 days ago that I had not responded to.

Another dear friend,this one form junior high school.

I re read the email that I had only scanned the first time I saw it,taking in all that he shared with me about his life and his family as best he could in a few paragraphs.

Naturally, this led to me sending a reply and filling him in on my life as best I could again in a thousand words or less.. (I didn't really count so I have no idea if it actually was less than 1000 words!)

As I was wrapping up that email my phone rang.

It was Susan.

Somehow, my voice had mysteriously become much more energetic than it had been for the last few days.

Funny how that seems to have happened.

I am reminded of something I picked up during the time when I was enrolled in coaching training.

I found that I was no longer living "under those circumstances".

I have chosen to live above any circumstances.

I have to admit....the view is much better from up above!

Up, up and away!....and moving on!

Story Telling

“Either you run the day, or the day runs you.”

~ Jim Rohn

I love a good story.

A good story challenges the boundaries of my imagination and opens my eyes to all sorts of opportunities and possibilities.

A really good story can tug at your heartstrings, make you smile or bring a tear to your eye.

A well told story can lift you up and calm you down.

I think of myself as a good story teller.

Truth be told, if I could ever figure out a way to become a professional story teller, like a Will Rogers, Burl Ives or Garrison Keillor, I would be in my glory.

When I was in High School, our head football coach and my driver's ed teacher Mr. DeGasparis was forever telling stories. I remember the first day of driver's ed when he introduced himself in his unmistakable gravely voice he said "You may have heard that I tel a lot of stories.....wel let me tell you a little story about my little stories!"

He couldn't help himself. Like myself , he found this to be the best way to communicate with people and to deliver a message.

Last night, I was asked to help lead a Seder at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Hillsdale NJ. It was very last minute and I certainly had no time to prepare for this.

Once we started , I looked out over what seemed to be a never ending table,all eyes staring at me waiting for my words of wisdom to inspire them, teach them and help them understand the meaning and importance of the Seder.

The Seder itself, the Hagah is a story, a very old story.

It was a great place to start and by adding my own collections of life stories we had a marvelous evening. Nothing short of a smashing success.

My story telling skills were at their peak.

3 hours after we started, as the assembled group was finishing their dinner, my brother stepped in to finish the second half of the Seder and I was able to bid a fond farewell to my 2 dozen new friends. I said my goodbyes and waved good night to everyone andas I headed for the door, I realized that I was smiling like an idiot.

All because I had the opportunity to touch someone by telling some stories.

Maybe that's why I like writing to you so much?

Chosen for what?

"Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance."

Epicurus

My back is killing me.

My knee is barking at me everytime I take a step and forget about bending it to sit down!

My shoulders are aching in part from this morning's workout but mostly from schlepping boxes all day.

It's the Sunday before Passover , which in my home is the day we turn the house over in preparation for the upcoming festival.

On my morning bus run, I found myself questioning why I am still so committed to this yearly ritual.

Over the last year or so, I have questioned much about how I address my life as a member of the Tribe,The Chosen People.

Chosen for what?

The rules and restrictions imposed by some Rabbinical authority that has no connection to me or my life makes me question everything that I once accepted as gospel.

Hence, I have chosen to do what I do and what feels important to me.

There is no rhyme or reason to my choices.

I can't say that it's rooted in anything other than it is what I know and familiar with.

Much of what I continue to incorporate into my life makes no sense at all.

Keeping Kosher?

This whole Passover overhaul?

Shabbat dinner every Friday night?

These are some pretty significant commitments considering how many other things I have chosen to do away with or not participate in.

I don't need a lesson in theology.

I know where the whole chosen people thing comes from and what it's supposed to mean to me as a Jew.

Still for me I think that being one of the chosen people affords me the opportunity to make some choices of my own.

Now if I can only figure out why I make those choices maybe I would be less confused.

Shavua Tov!

Another How Am I Doin' Friday!

"The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter either side of the hill."

~ Robert Hunter #quote #mindset

First seder.........1 week away and counting!

I guess it's time to start making some plans for the upcoming yom tov?

One would think that after years,actually decades of doing this it would be easy.

Actually, compared to the way I used to approach the holiday things have become relatively matter of fact.

The part that makes it interesting is that the matter of facts are never quite exactly the same from year to year.

For instance,this year I will have to deal with an oven that is on its last legs.

It will be fine for heating and keeping things warm but I don't think I can count on it for any major,high temp cooking.

Speaking of cooking, the plethora of varying dietary choices that each person at our Seder brings with them has me scratching my head as to just what I want to serve this year.

One thing I know for sure,it will be colorful given the number of vegetable dishes that we will have.

By the way, if you are in need of a place to experience or participate in a Seder, let me know.

There's always plenty of room at our table!

We actually have 4 extra feet of dining space this year.

When the hot water heater leaked,the floor buckled and we can no longer enter the house through our front door.

Voila' ...4' extra in the dining room!

I've been watching on Facebook as people from all over the world are posting recipes for Passover.

????????????

I've spent the last 2 weeks noticing that just about every meal we have eaten is doable during the 8 days of this festival.

Not adaptable, the exact same things we eat 99% of the time. The only difference is the pots and pans we cook them in and the plates we eat them on.

Same veggies.

Same fruits.

Same proteins.

Same spices.

No big deal.

So now I have to ask myself "Why then does it all feel so different?"

Shabbat Shalom!

Flying High!

“The best reason to take your time is that this time is the only time you'll ever have.”

~ Edward M. Hallowell

Yesterday I received an email from the spouse of one of my dearest friends from High School. He shared with me how much he and his lovely bride enjoy reading my daily rantings and that they have been forwarding them to some friends of theirs.

The reason he reached out was to ask if I would mind adding them to my address book so they could receive these directly.

MIND?

I would be delighted!

This was so exciting to me I smiled like an idiot for hours!

I love whenever I get a response to my writing.

This was way beyond a response.

It was a validation.

OMG was this awesome.

Adding this on top of the repost of my email from earlier this week by my friend, brother and mentor Doug Smith has re-energized me for another 6 years of writing .

(Yes....on June 13th it will be 6 years since I started this!).

When I woke up this morning, I was still smiling.

And then, coincidentally (or not) that same wonderful friend from High School sent the picture above to me.

Yes that's me in the PHS shirt with 3 women who always bring a smile to my face and a glow to my spirit whenever I think of them.

And the little guy to my right?

That would be my brest friend and brother Eliot....age 6!

You can't imagine the smile plastered on my face today.

What could be better than that?

Oh yeah...Sara just texted all of us and invited us to her graduation from nursing school

in June.

This day just keeps getting better and better!

Buttons

"When you meet a man, you judge him by his clothes; when you leave, you judge him by his heart."

Russian Proverb

My day started off on what can only be described as the wrong foot.

When I called ahead to my first stop,my passenger's caretaker responded to me in a way that left me feeling as if I had just been attacked.

This was not the first time she and I had interacted this way which probably is why I reacted so defensively.

After ending our phone call, I called my program supervisor and gave her a bit of an ear full.

Still riled up, I reached out to one of my coaches,this one happened to be my brother, and asked for some coaching help around this incident.

After applying some coaching techniques, I was off to make my first stop.

As I drove along, I stewed a bit over how my earlier conversation had really pushed my buttons.

Self awareness is a marvelous thing.

Once I realized that I was overreacting to someone else's overreaction, I was able to calm myself down and understand what had just taken place.

Why did I feel attacked?

Why doesn't matter.

I did,and I hadn't been,and now I recognized that.

Now that I was aware of what had bubbled up inside of me, I was able to hit the reset button and move on.

We all have buttons that when pushed tend to set us off.

The great news is we also have reset buttons for just those occasions.

When my buttons get pushed I react.

I'm only human.

We all do.

Knowing how and when to hit the reset button is the important component.

I may not be able to predict or control when those set me off buttons get pushed.

I certainly can control when to hit the reset button.

And what a difference that makes!

What does it matter?

Late yesterday afternoon, as I was finishing my last run of the day, my daughter Becca called me.

She was having one of those "I think you need a Snickers" days.

Without rehashing each and everyone one of the multitude of things that were annoying her, suffice it to say she was less than a happy camper.

As she ranted on and on, barking about the challenges of the day, each description ended with her saying "what does it matter?".

She was not questioning the event itself.

She was questioning why she bothers to make the choices she does, trying to create the life that she wants.

What does it matter if I watch what I eat....the scale doesn't move!

What does it matter if I workout as much as I do?

The damn scale still doesn't move.

What does it matter that I get blood work done?

The doctor doesn't care to understand my lifestyle. He has pre-formed opinions on how he believes we should fuel and care for our bodies.

What does it matter that the computer program that supports our business doesn't address our needs?

The answer "we're working on it" is a really nice way of saying not our problem!

The bottom line for Becca yesterday was...WHAT DOES IT MATTER!"

It being the choices she makes for her life.

I didn't seem to have an answer for her in that moment.

As a matter of fact, the challenge to find an answer for her lingered with me all night.

That was until this morning when I received an email from a dear friend and fraternity brother.

He sent a note out to all of us, his band of brothers who have meant so much to him for over 45 years now.

It read:

Sorry to have to share bad news brothers. My cancer has spread. Continuing to be positive and will fight this with all medicine can offer. I appreciate all the prayers I can get (or positive thoughts or whatever is appropriate for you) Sharing here because so many of you I have known for so long and truly love as brothers!

What does it matter?

Because it does!

Because as the mug I gave out for the holidays this year said"You Matter!"

(If you did not get a mug from me and want one, let me know!)

Throughout Tom's battle with cancer, I have never once heard him ask "What does it matter?"

It all matters.

We all matter.

The choices we make matter.

When it,life and the way we choose to live it, no longer matters, than it's over.

We each matter ,each and every day.

I'll leave you with this bit of wisdom for the day.

94 year old Clara shared this with me as she nestled in to her seat on the way to the senior center this morning.

In response to my query of "how are you today" she replied"Another day and I'm okay....what's wrong with that?"

Clara gets it....she matters!

It all matters!

YOU MATTER!

What's next?

“A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.”

Yiddish Proverb

Well that didn't take long!

It was exactly a week ago that I shared with you how my plate didn't have a lot on it.

I had a couple of days where after handling the handful of tasks on my daily to do list, I found myself with free time to just kick back, relax and be, for lack of a better word, content!

That all ended this weekend.

Sometime between early Saturday morning and last night when I went to bed,I experienced a shift.

My mind kept wandering.

It was as if I was in a room with 100 doors and I now had to decide which one to open next.

Oh sure the room has a nice big comfy easy chair and a television for me to stare at.

But that's not good enough for me.

There must be something behind one of those doors that will lead me to my next adventure!

Which one should I open?

Should I start opening them all?

How do I know which one is the right one?

There is no right one. There is only the next one!

I knew that peaceful easy feeling that I had last week was only temporary.

I just didn't expect it to be that temporary!

I wonder what's next?

Shavua Tov!

Another How Am I Doin' Friday

"Your expectation directs your attention; 

and where your direction goes, 

energy flows, 

so goes the direction of your life"

~ Darren Hardy

It's another How Am I Doin' Friday.

And all is well in my world,actually all is great!

That is except for this God awful stiff back that I am dealing with,most probably a result of being stuck behind the wheel in horrific traffic yesterday for almost 3 hours!

As I sat here at my desk,pondering my menu for tonight's Shabbat dinner, it dawned on me that Passover begins in exactly 2 weeks.

In the past, that would have set off a plethora of bells,whistles alarms and sirens in my head.

So much to do and so many things to prepare.

Not so much anymore.

The numbers at our Seders have declined over the last few years.

The 20 plus days of the past are more like in the teens,and low teens at that.

I think this is the first time I have admitted that to myself.

We still turn the entire kitchen around.

What was once a daunting all day affair for the entire household,has been reduced to a chore that Max and I can knock out in under an hour.

As for getting the house up to par,the cleaning people will be here bright and early Sunday morning.

I am so on top of my game , that I even remembered to ask them to help me in cleaning out the fridge and stripping apart the stove.

Before they get here, I will have already used the self cleaning feature on the oven (Susan hates the smell so I will have to do it while she is at work!).

Even shopping for the holiday will be dramatically less stressful although somehow I will still manage to spend an unholy amount at the grocery store.

Probably the most challenging part of this whole process, will be figuring out a menu.

Between the vegetarians,carbless,no fats,"I don't eat green things" and other assorted restrictions that I am presented with, it becomes a real test of my ingenuity to put out what I would consider a respectable presentations.

Ooooooh...I just realized how sad I am about all of this.

Passover used to be a very exciting time of year for me.

That feeling just is not there.

There is no anticipation.

There is no fervor.

There is no excitement.

It all seems so matter of fact.

That's really sad to me.

I hope that in the next few days that changes. After all,Passover only comes around once a year,and those years seem to be piling up,heading towards a time that I don't want to ever acknowledge.

I hope you have a peaceful weekend

Shabbat Shalom!

More on CONTENT

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.”

 Mark Twain  

(American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910)

Yesterday and today have been relatively stress free days.

There has not been much on my plate to accomplish.

The few things that I did need to take care of were significant yet easy to attend to.

There is a tiny voice inside of me that wants to ask myself "is that it? Is that all you have for the day?"

Thankfully the louder voice is saying "Good job David, enjoy the rest of your day!"

I am not sure just how long this can or should continue to be the norm.

For the time being , I am okay with not adding any undue pressure to my existence.

One thing I do know, it is inevitable that some time in the near future, that tiny little voice will start to become louder.

In my world:

CONTENT= LAZY!

LAZY= FAT!

FAT=SLOVENLY!

SLOVENLY=DISGUSTING!

All of this is unacceptable.

It goes against my foundational principle that I am here for a reason and that reason is to make a difference.

When I become CONTENT,I will no longer be making a difference and hence (yes I used the word hence!) I have no reason to be here.

Done is done, and I ain't done yet!

April Word of the Month

“The only thing more important than who you are is whom you’re becoming.”

~ Stephen Pierce

April Word of the Month

CONTENT

con·tent ²  (kən-tĕnt′)

adj.

1. Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.

2. Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: 

n.

Contentment; satisfaction.

This month's word of the month CONTENT, actually came to me in mid March and I have been sitting on it and stewing over it for a couple of weeks now.

Plain and simple, I am not content.

I want more.

I want to do more.

I want to become more.

I want to be better.

I could go on and on listing all of my wants.

I see no need to do that.

I also want to acknowledge just how blessed and fortunate I am having all that I do have and being able to lead the life I do lead.

Still, I would be lying to you if I said I was CONTENT.

In my mind, content is the equivalent as saying I'm done.

One thing I know, is that I am certainly not done.

I know this because I woke up this morning.

Another day....not done yet!

There are days in my life when I actually permit myself to pause and reflect on all that I have and all that I have accomplished.

Well maybe not whole days but maybe a couple of hours in"a" day, okay minutes,in that day.

The rest of the time however, I find that I am always searching for more.

More what?

Anything!

Everything!

Just more!

It can be exhausting!

Is this a character flaw or an admirable trait?

That seems to be a great question.

Whichever it is, I have chosen to use the month of April to explore my relationship with CONTENTMENT.

This can become interesting!

Or very very uncomfortable!

No Foolin'

"Life just is. Whether we perceive life as hard, pleasant, challenging, exciting, stressful, or otherwise is a result of our perceptions and our way of thinking."

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There will be no April Fools Day jokes or pranks from me today.

I guess maybe I'm just not in the mood for those kind of antics.

It's a gorgeous day here, a little chilly but bright and sunny with a fairly consistent breeze blowing.

Why spoil the ambiance with practical jokes?

In the world of "I've go to get this done." there's not all that much on my plate today. There were a couple of emails that had to go out.

Done.

I had to cancel an appointment scheduled for Friday.

Done.

I had to hit the supermarket for tonight's dinner.

Done.

And I wanted to write to you .

Soon to be done.

Other than that, the only"must do" for the rest of the day is my afternoon run and make the aforementioned dinner.

The only other thing that I can think of for the day is to continue having an awesome one!

I hope you are having one as well!