Yesterday was the first time in over 8 weeks that I did not write.
I had every intention to,however the day just kept slipping away.

My new Friday schedule has me running around and out of the house until at least 12:30, which is exactly when I got home yesterday.
No big deal...I'll write after dinner.
I had offered to take Max's car for an oil change, so after checking emails I went and took care of that . 
I also called on a customer and then picked up the last hose I needed to finish setting up the filter for my pool.
By the time I got home, it was after 3 p.m.
I proceeded to finish filling the pool and setting up the filter. 
When I next looked at the clock it was 4:30 and I had not even begun dinner preparation.
Off to the kitchen, I cut up potatoes and threw them in the oven.
(Roasted potatoes take an hour)
Back to my desk to answer some more emails. 
Now it's 5:30.
Out come the potatoes and time to start assembling the rest of dinner.
Brussel sprouts and corn went on the grill.
All of the other side dishes need plating and then back into the fridge.
5:45.
Chicken and potatoes back in the oven for warming.
Out back to check on the pool. 
All set...turn on the filter  and now we are cooking with gas!
Everything has come together .
Dinner is ready to be put on the table and my pool is sparkling .
The sounds of the surging water from my filter are like music to my ear. 
After a great Shabbat dinner and clearing the table I looked out of my window to see how well my filter was working.
It wasn't!
What the heck.......
So I went out in the yard to investigate.
That's when I saw that my water level had dropped below the filter.
How did that happen?
I must have a leak.
I walked the perimeter of the pool and eventually found where a significant amount of water was flowing.
It was now well after 9 and dark outside.
Max got out a flashlight and set about trying to determine where the hole might be.
What he found was disturbing.
Completely across from where the water was escaping,the patch we had put on on Sunday had failed.
I dragged out the submersible pump and spent the next 4.5 hours emptying the pool. To say I was disheartened would be an understatement.
Writing became a non-starter for me.
The last thing I wanted to engage in was a pity party.
After dropping Susan at the shop this morning, I went to the pool store for another patch kit. There I discussed my plan for rectifying the situation. 
The shop owner agreed with my course of action, wished me luck and sent me on my way after he pocketed his first sale of the day, my $9 for a patch kit.
So I have taken this time to sit down and catch up with you.
The washing machine man will be here sometime between 11-3.
Yes, it is actually the Maytag repair man!
Once Max is awake, we will set about repairing the hole. Barring any further unforeseen setbacks, I will fill my pool for the 3rd time in 2 weeks starting around dinner time.
And that is how and what I am doing on this Saturday after my How am I doin' Friday that never happened.

Shabbat Shalom!

One of the challenges that arose the other day when I was having my "hole in the sock" day was my bus breaking down. As I set out on my run,I noticed that none of my gauges were working. Neither was my radio. I knew this was an electrical issue, possibly a fuse. I also feared and eventually confirmed that this electrical problem effected my wheel chair lift.
On top of my buses issues, the other drivers bus had lost his side view mirror and it was out of commission as well.
This caused a great deal of commotion and rearranging of schedules until we could get these vehicles repaired and back on the road.
I did my run yesterday using a smaller van. 
It is much newer and rides more like a luxury car than the bus which rides a bit like an army tank.
However, for the patrons on my route, getting in and out of this vehicle is challenging at best. 
Being smaller, I also had to split my run in to 2 parts. There just would not be enough seating to accommodate every one.
This of course created the A group who I picked up first and then the B group that were on the second run.
You try telling seniors that they are not on the A list!
It gets ugly!
They like the routine they are accustomed to. 
So do I.
Yes the ride of the newer smaller van is far more comfortable than my bus.
But every one on my route is accustomed to the bus. 
Familiarity is comfortable.
Not to mention that we had no way to accommodate our wheel chair patrons.
Today my bus was back on the road.
Hallelujah!  
As I drove along, teeth rattling in my head with every bump and pot hole in the road,things seem normal once again. 
Every body was back on the A list.
Claire got so sit with Elaine!
The music was playing and the seniors were swaying.
Kind of like slipping on a pair of old slippers,comfortable.
It was a good day.

As I was killing a few minutes this morning and trolling Facebook, the whole smiling thing came back to the surface for me. As you know, smiling is just not something I am not very good at.
Never have been.
For as long as I can remember I have heard "yo Spiegel.....try smiling".Or as one of my friends commented on more than one occasion to me"if you are as happy as you say you are,maybe you should tell your face about it!"
I was as I said, trolling on Facebook where I came across pictures of friends and people I have known for decades. In each and every instance, I immediately recognized their smiles.
And then there were pictures of me with the uncomfortable look of constipation that always seems to adorn my face.
I even received an email from a dear friend who I will see for the first time in 40 years next month. I saw her smile in her words.
It filled me with joy .
And I am certain that my face did not reflect that joy.
I know I can do better at this.
Someone on my bus yesterday complimented me on my diction, pronunciation and enthusiasm in my speech. 
This gives me hope as I once was known as a mutterer.
If I can turn up my speech I can certainly figure out how to turn on my smile!
Honestly learning to choose to smile is harder for me than learning how to eat healthy.
As I said, there is hope. 
I did come across some pictures on Facebook where I actually did have a smile on my face. 
I also had hair on my head but I refuse to get a toupee or transplant!
I will however,continue to work on the smiling thing!
If I can tackle obesity I certainly can tackle a smile!

I am having a "Hole in your sock" kind of day so far today. 
What's a hole in your sock day?
Let me paint a picture for you.
As you start getting dressed in the morning, you pick out a pair of socks and as you put them on you notice a hole in the toe.
It's annoying but not a big deal. You get up to toss them away and grab another pair and you stub your toe on the foot of the bed.
 Sonuvabeeswax!
You rifle through your draw for another pair of brown socks and find all sorts of colors except brown.
So you decide to change the outfit you were wearing to one that might actually coordinate with the socks you have available.
As you get dressed,you start to put on your tie.
It's too short.
So you tie it again.
Still to short. So one more try....it's to long!
Finally you get it just right and head into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. It smells great and maybe a little break with a nice cup of Joe will calm things down. So you sit down with your cup of coffee and grab the newspaper and that's when your dog who misses you so much decides to jump up on your lap spilling the contents of your mug all over your outfit.
So you head back to your closet. pick out a whole new ensemble and change once more.
Finally you can start the day. You finish tying your tie, turn down the collar on your shirt and as you go to button that last button at your neck it falls off in 2 pieces in your hand.
That's a hole in your sock morning!
To say that I am a little on edge, a little frustrated and a little distracted would be a gross understatement.
While none of these things actually happened to me today, I can assure you that what has transpired makes these events pale in comparison.
So what do I do about that?
I just push on.
Take yet another deep breath and move forward.
Then take another deep breath, and another and another.
Eventually like an airline pilot climbing to find a clearing in the clouds, there will be daylight. 
If not, then we make due with the instrument panel in front of us and land this baby safely.
This ain't the first time I have had days like this and probably not the last time either.
So I just keep on keepin' on.
And make a note to buy some new socks!

Monday morning and my bus run is done for the day. In a few minutes Susan and I will head south to visit with her parents.
I have a situation with a shipment that is in search of an answer. At the moment, I am looking at a cancellation and a fairly significant financial hit. 
As is the case in many instances, other than being the conduit for flow of information, there is not a whole lot I can do to rectify the situation. 
My role in this is to pass on information and then basically sit back and wait for a response. 
It is unsettling,disturbing and ultimately frustrating.
Other than doing my part, my hands are tied .
I am handling this differently than I have in the past. In the past, I would be ringing my hands, racking my brain, trying to magically find a solution.
No matter how much I worried or stressed over these situations in the past, other than doing my part as the intermediary,I was of no real assistance. The only thing that would happen is my stress level would 
sky rocket.
I would lose sleep.
I would eat unconsciously.
I would be on edge with every one around me.
And in general I would be unpleasant to be around.
No matter the outcome, positive or negative, I would pay a huge emotional price until the issue was resolved.
I just can't afford to do that anymore.
Actually, I refuse to do that. 
I did not create the problem.
I can't resolve the problem.
I did my job.
Actually I have excelled at my job.
I normally worry how this will reflect on me.
I like being liked.
I like being counted on. 
When my vendors let me down or are let down by my clients, I take it personally.
Here's what I am certain of:
No matter how much I worry or stress  over this, I can't control what others do or think and therefore it just should not matter.
Easier said than done, but it must be!
So I am just going to ride this one out as best I can and know that everything works out.

Happy Father's Day!
The trainer's message board at the gym had this message today:
"If you wake up without a goal, go back to sleep!"Obviously it stuck in my head. I came home and Googled it to make sure I credited the right source. There doesn't seem to be any person attributed to this sage advice.
This whole Father's Day thing has me thinking. My kids all went to a memorial service yesterday for a friend's dad. A younger man, in his early 50's who got sick on Mother's Day . He didn't make it to another Father's Day.
I have a funeral to attend to later on today. Tomorrow I will light a candle for my aunt who passed away a number of years ago.
The reality of life is from the moment we are born, we are dying. Susan thinks that when I say this I am being negative.
Oh contrare!
I can't think of anything more life affirming. Yes, it is a reality that from day one we are all headed to the end.
The opportunity in that is to live each day as if there were no tomorrow. 
Live life to it's fullest.
Don't hold back!
Do not wait for tomorrow. 
There are no guarantees.
I have always heard 
people refer to "the promise of tomorrow".
How about the reality of today?
This is why I choose to load each and every day with as much as I possibly can. There is always an extra phone call to make.
There is always someone else for me to reach out to, to connect with.
I can always do one more good deed.
There is always an opportunity to make the most of today.
Do I fall short? 
Obviously!
That's what is so exciting when I open my eyes each morning and find that I have another day.
What a gift!
What a blessing!
We are not going to see Susan's dad today.
I have this funeral and I have to work, 
If all works out and I wake up tomorrow, we will head down after my bus run and celebrate Father's Day tomorrow.
So here's my thought. I will choose to celebrate every day as Father's Day and Mother's day, and my birthday, and my anniversary, and New years Day and even Yom Kippur,the day of atonement. 
Every day will be a day of remembrance as well as a day of celebration.
It is a fact, we are all dying.
I can choose to sit around and wait for that or I can  Live to Excel (Live2XL) every single time I wake up and find another day.
There is no negativity around that. 
There is nothing more life affirming than living!
Happy Father's Day!
Shavua Tov!

Not the start to my day that I had planned for!
Last night after dinner I strolled outside to see how far I had come along with filling the pool.
I peered over the side and saw that it was about 1/3 full. 
Not bad I thought. By tomorrow it will be completely filled and up and running.
As I turned to walk away I heard a noise.
Doink!!
Doink!
Doink!
What the hell is that I wondered?
Doink!
Doink!
 Doink!
This isn't a good sound.
Doink!
Doink!
Doink!
Oh crap! 
There's a hole in my liner!
I searched around the edges of the pool and saw no water seeping out.
Where is it going?
Oh crap!
It's pooling between the liner and the pool walls.
This is now causing buckling in the metal walls of the pool.
Quickly I sprang into action.
I pulled my submersible pump out and lowered it into the pool , ran an extension chord to it, placed the hose in an appropriate area and started draining the water as fast as possible.
In about an hour I had drained the water to below the level of the hole.
It's a fairly decent sized tear. I kind of think I know where it came from.
 I also know I probably have some culpability to how it got there.
Here's what didn't happen:
I didn't freak out.
I didn't catastrophise the event.
I didn't start cursing out my self or my life.
I didn't carry on as if the world was coming to an end.
I simply drained the water and made a plan to assess the situation in the daylight.
It's a hole.
I went to the pool store and bought a patch kit.
Later on today or tomorrow,with some assistance, I will get the hole patched over. Then I will start filling the pool once again. 
I can still get to work on my filter. 
I can still do the clean up work I had planned for the day.
I will still walk Sara's  dogs and then go help out at the shop.
And I will do all of that without having freaked out!
Pretty cool huh!


Shabbat Shalom!