July Word of the Month:OBEDIENT

When I looked up the definition of  the word of the month for July, I found "complying or willing to comply with orders or requests; submissive to another's will".
I want to go on record that I chose this word because of the first definition not the second.I have no problem complying with someone's request or desire. The idea of being submissive is like nails on a chalkboard to me.Taking aback seat, or letting another person take the lead, does not require me to become submissive.
On this how am I doin Friday, I know that I am challenged by feeling something less than powerful.I am not as "full of myself" as I know I can be.I'm okay with that for today. It surely beats showing up to life defeated and dejected or even worse, not showing up at all!I am not ready to take on the World yet...(key word being yet). I am more than willing to take on my immediate surroundings,even if that perimeter is limited at this moment.Acts of daring are only daring the first time you do them, no matter how small or large they are. After the first time,it's a matter of repeating that which I did when I succeeded in the first place.Retracing every step, no matter how small is an integral part of the road to more success.
For he first time in a days, I did just that today. The small steps included,opening mail, changing calendars and clearing my desk for a fresh start to whatever is next. These may seem trivial to the untrained eye. To me, they are and have been huge obstacles towards moving forward.With a modicum of continued effort, I know I can build on what I accomplished today and carry it forward to the next hurdle.
In a few conversations yesterday, I repeated over and over again, that I am too good and too talented to continue to be mired in the sludge I feel I am currently stuck in. I believe deeply that this is all anomaly and that The Universe is just ever so slightly out of sink. Eventually,it will right itself and along with that course correction,so will the direction of my life.Until then , it is faith and diligence in knowing who I am that keeps me on track. The skills and knowledge that I have and put to use daily will in good time carve out a path to brighter times.
Tonight, the family,at least most of us, will all be together for the first time in a very long time.
On this Sabbath's eve, I am sure that it is a sign that The Universe has begun it's change in course.
And I of course will follow obediently!
Shabbat Shalom!