Friday, July 15, 2016

Personally speaking!

Since I began writing, I can't ever remember a time when I opined over the sociopolitical events in the world.Lately,with all that I am bombarded with from all media fronts, I find it hard to not be affected or distracted or have an opinion regarding current events.
I have a friend,he's older,of my parent's generation. He grew up in a Jewish community in the early part of the 20th Century.He refers to all non- Jews as goyim. He calls blacks schwartzes,and gays feigalahs. While I never have heard him use many of the other derogatory names associated with other minorities, he always references the fact that who ever he is speaking about is of a specific,non-Jewish background,as if that will always be a factor in any conversation.His entire persona is colored by his upbringing . Every part of life is infused with these biases and prejudices.German made products are evil.So are Jap products.(His phrase not mine).There is a touch of disdain in describing anything outside of the Jewish community.
That just doesn't work for me today.
Neither does any of the rhetoric I hear on the news lately. If you leave the house , believing that you are some how a victim ,well guess what you carry with you? Exactly! It shows on your face,in your speech and in the attitude you present to the world.
The Law of Attraction.
You are who you say you are . Therefore,you will get all that comes along with that. Good or bad.
I am challenged by this daily.Negative thoughts pop in to my head on a regular basis. I am constantly hitting the re frame button,attempting to escape the trap I would be setting for myself if I did not.
If I dress fat and slovenly, I feel fat and slovenly. If I feel fat and slovenly, I will end up eating the same way. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
That's why I wear a dress shirt and tie 5 days a week.
That is why you never catch me in public wearing beat up sweat pants and a hoodie.
I certainly don't want to be viewed as a slob so why would I dress like a slob?

As the media continues its daily barrage on my senses,two words keep coming around to me.
Personal responsibility!
Let me be clear. There is never a time when I do not know I am a Jew.There is never a moment when I forget what that means to me and what my people have experienced for centuries.Being Jewish is foundational to who I am. It does not however limit me or prevent me from showing up to life in a positive and energetic way. My people have been victimized for sure. That makes me a survivor!Survivors by their very nature are strong. They are not victims.They are victors.They count their blessings not their scars.They cherish life. They don't bemoan their lot in it.
They look for answers and opportunities not excuses and scapegoats.
I am particular in the words I use and choose.Words are powerful. They effect how we perceive life.
One of the most influential books written lately , maybe ever, is the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. I remind myself of these 4 agreements on a daily basis.
Maybe the evening news and the morning newspaper should feature these every day:
The Four Agreements are
1. Be Impeccable with your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

I debated with myself for hours before sending this out. I read it and re read it a dozen times. I wanted to be clear in my own head that I was not projecting any bias or prejudice. In the end it boiled down to knowing that my life matters.

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