Hi Ho Hi Ho!

Half way through the month of August. It has not always been easy for me to embrace this month's word of the month,cheerful. I work at it daily.Today was supposed to be a shore day,a mini vacation. A one day get away for Susan and myself. It isn't going to happen and that was my decision. As last week drew to a close,I found myself looking ahead to some of the challenges the new week would bring. I believed that I would be mentally distracted and there was no way I would be able to relax and be comfortable idling the day away sitting on a beach chair.It's unfortunate,however,it is the truth. I remember just how uncomfortable I was 2 years ago when we set-off to Delaware for a few days.I was literally crawling out of my skin. The best part of that vacation was Wednesday morning when I got in my car at 5 a.m. and drove home, leaving Susan and her sister to enjoy the last few days. It was the first time I could breath since we headed down on Saturday afternoon.
My inability to relax right now is nothing new. I deal with this quite often.There are and have been a few times when I have been able to escape. Our mini vacation to South Jersey last August was one. So was our 2 day trip to Long Island for our anniversary two years ago and our 2 day get away for Susan's birthday that same year. Right now, I am dealing with too much "stuff" to just let go.
I realize that this is a mater of choice. I could have chosen to face my fears and done it any way. That's easier said than done.A part of me feels awful for denying Susan and myself, this tiny respite. I can't even begin to tell you the levels of anxiety I would be dealing with if I had chosen to go.I know that I made the right choice for myself. I also know that I still am fairly overwhelmed with anxiety today. That stress level has not dissipated.The only difference is, I am dealing with it without getting sunburned!
This too shall pass! I will work through it. Key word being work!
For me, that is always the way out. Find something to do. First get busy,then become useful and then find a way to become productive.
Now I'm off to find busy!