Did I miss something?

I did not write yesterday at all. As the day progressed, I made the conscious choice to not write. I am sure I could have sat down and banged out a quick note or searched for something thoughts to share. Something inside of me was unsettled and I decided to let it stew a bit in the hopes that eventually I would see things more clearly. This morning my day greeted me with an insistence to address what feels like an elephant in the corner of the room.
On this How am I doin' Friday, I am more than just a little frustrated and disappointed with myself.
Here is my quandary.All of my life, I believed in the principal that you work hard,you do your best,and you give as much as possible and in the end ,good things would come back to me.My prime directive: help yourself by helping others,do right and all will be right.
Well there seems to be more to life than that.It seems that to help yourself you actually have to help yourself.The number 1 priority it seems, is making sure that I am number 1 on my priority list. After that,it seems, you can continue helping others. Until I take care of me,like the instructions on the airplane, I can't help the person next to me.
Part of this inability to help myself, and actually the biggest sticking point, is self promotion.In no less than 3 separate instances yesterday, I found myself working people,well respected in the spheres that we were engaged in,that certainly were no more qualified than I am. Yet they appear to be having much more success, be it financial or otherwise,than I am. Most of this I see as my inability to promote myself .All too often, I have let my credo of "let your actions speak for you" get in the way of actually speaking up for myself.From where I am today,I am beginning to think that I have wasted way to much time believing in something that just isn't true.
Hard work is hard work and nothing more.
Being a good person makes you a good person,nothing more.
Doing the right thing is the right thing to do,nothing more.
In the words of Mel Brooks in Spaceballs....the rest is all about Merchandising!
Self promotion is just selling a different commodity,yourself,and quite frankly I have done a lousy job at that.The bigger part of my dilemma is that I just don't know any other way to do life thn the way I have for my entire life.Thus, I fear that I am condemned to being a good guy,who does the right thing and just goes through life helping others.
I suppose there are worse things to be. Besides as I said earlier"if you work hard,do your best and give as much as possible, in the end good things will come to you" must mean that it's not the end yet!
Shabbat Shalom!