Into the light!

I just love when I discover how to do something new on the computer!
Just sayin'!
Yesterday. a client who I had not heard from in 4 months reached out.I can only imagine that she was "ready" to refocus and recommit to her healthy life style. Reaching out may have been one more way for her to return to where she had previously been successful Whatever her motivation was to text me out of the blue, I was thrilled to hear from her.Throughout the day,we both took advantage of the opportunity and caught up with each other. Not only did we catch up, I feel like we expanded the parameters of our relationship. I learned a bit more about her and I shared a bit more of myself with her.From the first text early in the morning to the last text just before I went to bed, there was a palpable shift in how open we were willing to be with each other. It was a wonderful experience and I am look forward to even more communications in the future.
As I look back at my week,there were a number of these reconnections that occurred. A few were started by me and some, like the one I just mentioned were started by others.It doesn't matter how they came about,only that they did.
For the first time in a while, I feel as if I have begun to come out of the cave that I found myself retreating into over the last few weeks. This seclusion of sorts has been deepening for a couple of months now.To be honest,I did not enjoy it one bit.Yet no matter how I tried,the days kept piling up and the darkness kept intensifying.
As I look back, there were multiple low points....points where I believed I had bottomed out. It is evident to me today that there was no "bottom".There were only more dark tunnels that at times seemed hopelessly intertwined.
Maybe hopelessly is incorrect. I never gave up hope. I always know that there is a path that will lead to the light of day. I was just mired in a maze that had me befuddled and was truly testing my resolve.
The transition from the cold dark places in which I found myself wandering for weeks to the warmer light filled place I am experiencing today has taken place over the last 10 days.After meditation last Wednesday , I found myself emotionally and spiritually balled up, much like a wounded or sick animal.I was catastrophising each and every event wondering if this one would be the final nail in my coffin,the one that would break me down completely, the one that would ultimately lead me to give up.
Over the weekend,there was a shift,albeit a gradual one.I understood that the circle of life would eventually bring me back to a better place. My responsibility was to stay at it long enough to get there. Hang in, hang on until I could move on.
At meditation,I heard an analogy that put it into perspective.My mentor compared this type of experience to leading a horse. He explained,you can't lead a horse. They are huge animals. If you try and pull them in a direction, they resist and pull you in the opposite direction.Instead,you follow the horses lead and as he moves ,with a gentle hand on the rein you influence him to where you wanted to take him in the first place. You lead him by following him.
The same holds true for my experience. The more I pulled to where I wanted to be, the further in the other direction the Universe seemed to be dragging me. By letting go,I gained control. By following the currents,I found my way to this calmer place.The roaring river that was my life has once again found a gently flowing pool where I can rest a bit,catch my breath a bit, regroup a bit and even begin to move forward .
I am doing well on this, the last Friday of Spring.
Doing well is a wonderful thing and I appreciate just how marvelous it feels to be here.

Shabbat Shalom!