Aaaaaaargh!

This is just not me!At least it's not the me I want to be.This arm/hand trauma is wreaking havoc on every bit of my life.The pain and swelling is disrupting my sleep (that's putting it mildly).
I have resorted to wearing sweat pants as I am unable to pull up a pair of slacks or jeans and I certainly could not button them.T-shirts have replaced my shirt and tie.I could neither button a shirt or tie a tie,never mind tucking it in to my pants.I look and more importantly feel slovenly.This has repercussions.As I walked into the grocery store,the smiles which always come my way when I dress the part are not there.I look like every other schnook who does not think enough of himself to put on a nice outfit.
I find that my stature and the pace I walk at are diminishing in response to the way I look and feel.
I am feeling ineffective, impotent,uncreative,disconnected,useless,and ultimately unsure of myself.
A sense of lack is setting in.If in fact the good lord helps those who help themselves, it's no wonder I feel disconnected.It seems like I can do little to nothing to help myself so why should he......or anyone else for that matter.
Yes,my brain still works.
although a little foggy from pain, lack of sleep and the oppressiveness of my state of lack.
I am not enjoying this one bit.Every night I go to bed in hopes of a better tomorrow,only to be disappointed and discouraged when I realize that I am still hindered and handicapped by my current situation.
It is difficult to find positives to build upon right about now.
I need a haircut,a good shower,a car!
I want to get dressed,put on my best me and walk tall.
I want to feel vital,useful and energetic.
The good news is I know I will get past this.How do I know?I just do....because this is not who I am or how I want to be.
Frustrated?
You bet I am!
Angry?
Yep!
Sad?
Unbelievably!
Ready to quit?
NEVER!

Thanks for listening