Dumb or Dumber?

Play this link!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM
You can't lose what you don't have. It's just that simple. How many times have I not addressed a situation for fear of loss. 
I didn't ask her out because what if she said no ? 
Well nothing ventured nothing gained, and certainly nothing lost.The video link above is from Dumb and Dumber. I am neither dumb or dumber......except when I hide behind the irrational fear of losing something that I never had in the first place.
Is this seat taken?
Would you like to dance?
Can you pass the salt?
Are you stopping by today?
All fairly banal questions. We ask these types of questions on a daily basis. So why do I have such an issue asking questions that are just as simple but actually mean something to me? 
Are you planning to pay me?
When will you send me what I requested?
When will you do what you were asked to do?
When will you get back to me?
What does our relationship hold in the immediate future?
Do you plan to sign this contract?
When?
How would you like me to handle this?
These questions are just as easy and just as banal.
They come with a yes or no or some other type of definitive qualifying response..Too often the possibility of loss of something that I never had in the first place, keeps me from asking the most obvious and simple of questions.My fear of hearing something that I may not want to hear keeps me from even asking.Or,if I don't ask,maybe somehow the opportunity still exists,even if it never did in the first place.
It's cowardice on my part.It's not wanting to seem confrontational. It's the fear that somehow it will affect a relationship. All a bunch of bull and something which more often than not , I have conjured up n my own mind.
I'll sometimes complicate it by sending an email or text. When I don't get a response, I still have hope that eventually it will be answered even when I am clearly being ignored. If I pick up the phone, or even better,have a face to face conversation, I can get immediate definitive answers. It's not being pushy. These are simple enough questions that deserve a simple direct response.
The flight attendant asks "Can I get you a drink?"
Yes or no.
Ice or no ice?
Ice please!
Would you like to purchase a snack?
No thank you!
Simple questions....simple responses!She doesn't  think any more or any less of me by my answer. She just moves on.And she asks the next person the same question as I get back to whatever I was doing.
SO why do I complicate my life by not valuing myself enough to ask the simple question?
Because of my irrational fear of losing that which was never mine to lose in the first place.
Kind of makes more than dumb or dumber!


Shabbat Shalom!