Day 23
It's lonely at the top!
I had at least 2 aha moments today. 
As I drove my bus I started thinking about what I would accomplish today. 
What tasks were priorities?
As this list developed ,and grew, I realized that lately I have been handling things for myself that for quite a while I was able to delegate to others. When Becky,my office admin left to have her baby, I joked,ranted and made light of, the fact that after over a decade of leaning on her support, she would no longer be sitting at the desk next to mine.
Even though we had prepared to some degree for this,cutting back on the volume of work handled by our office, there are still many many items that were either hers to handle or that I could forward to her to take care of.
Most of that has fallen on me.
My first aha moment was "aha....doing much of this nuts and bolts work fills the space that used to be my creative space!"
That creative space is where productive happens.
Time resources and energy are now devoted to things that in the past were simply handled.
Today, these things all rest on my shoulders.
I consider myself a leader. 
A leader leads. 
A leader needs others to lead. 
I have become a bit of a one man show over the last few months. The shop has taken Susan and Becca from my support group. As a matter of fact, I end up supporting them more often than not.
Sara is off doing her thing and Max's responsibilities have grown at his job as well. These are all good things, however,  a void was created.
The biggest void was losing Becky.
I am a team of 1.
I have experienced this before, many years ago when I left the textile industry. 
Starting over starts with me and me alone. I am the team captain and at times the only player.
My brother used to refer to me as The King,and these were the times when I was without a kingdom.
As an old boss of mine used to say"no matter the circumstances, a king is always a king,never a peasant."
Comfortable with this new knowledge ,I drove on, until my next aha moment hit.
My weight gain,can be directly connected to late October,when Becky left.
Maybe I was whistling in the dark?
Maybe I was not aware of how deep the void was?
Maybe I didn't want to own the reality?
Maybe it's all of this an more?
All I know is that the pants that I had been wearing for over a year at that point, no longer fit me today.
On Day 23, I am well on my way to getting back to where I once was. 
Well maybe not exactly. We can never go back!
Will there be a new team? 
Will I find my new kingdom?
Will my skinny jeans ever fit again?
Of course they will and of course I will. 
That's just who I am!