On my way to the gym this morning I found that I was having a familiar conversation with myself.
"Why am I writing a book?"
Only this time the conversation was different. In the past my reticence was from a lack of self confidence.I found myself questioning why anyone would want to read a book about me.I have come to understand that it's not about me (a fact I was reminded of yesterday). This time my trepidation was coming from a place of lack! With my resources being tested ,why am I spending time and energy on something as frivolous as writing a book?
Is it feeding my family? 
Is it generating income?
Is it paying my bills?
Is it providing a roof over my head?
The answer to these questions is no as far as I can tell.
So why, then am I not pushing the book idea to the side and focusing all of my energy and attention towards the BHAM (Big Hairy Audacious Monster) in the room?
As much as this was bothering me, I set it aside and went about my workout...upper body and some cardio and an hour later I was heading out the door. That's when I ran into a friend who has been reading my stuff daily for over a year now.
She wanted to thank me. She went on to explain that after reading my stuff regularly she has a fresh outlook on her own life and has begun a journey of her own. She has chosen to appreciate where she is and what she has today and use it as both a comfort blanket as well as a launching pad for what else in store for her.Her face lit up as she described how much better she feels when she drops the lack and acknowledges the blessings in her life.She was  glowing as she shared some of her immediate plans as well as talking about her eye on the future.
I left the gym feeling .....well awesome!
Knowing I had touched a life, just one life,in such a positive way was the answer to my question from earlier today. That is why I am writing a book. It is not taking anything away from my table. It is not rerouting the funds for paying bills. And it is not jeopardizing the roof over my families head.Nor is it stopping me from exploring options to rectify my current situation.
I felt good about that. I still had lack issues to deal with ,however the book has nothing to do with that. I understood in that moment that the book thing is a good thing.
As I drove away I found myself humming to the song on the radio.
It was Thomas Rhett singing...."Die a happy man!"
Fitting huh!