I'm doing just fine!

Once again.....8 pm and I am finally getting some me time.
This was a particularly busy day.It started of at a nice even pace and kept building throughout the day. It never got out of control, however, there was not a whole lot of down time. I am now able to take advantage of a quiet house and spend some time writing before I poop out completely.
It's another How am I doin' Friday and I have to tell you that I find myself at an uncomfortable weight. Oh I look good,you might even say I look great. I just know I don't feel good at my current weight.I am not ready to roll up my sleeves and go to work on it in a serious way. I am still super bloated from my week away. Air travel and standing on concrete for 10 hours a day always has some residual consequences. When I was as big as I once was, I would chalk that up to my size. Now that I am more "average" in size,I realize that these external factors do have an effect on me.My plan is to ride out the weekend and see how I feel come Monday morning. As a matter of fact, Monday will be a day of re commitment. Re commitment to work,to a more structured schedule, to a better work out regimen, to a cleaned up food plan and a re commitment to reading and some other personal growth work.
Planning this roll out for Monday morning does not mean that I intend to sit around doing nothing all weekend. There is a lot to be done in the next 48 hours if I have any hope of being prepared to hit the ground running come the start of the week.
The blessing in all of this is just how kind and thoughtful I am being to myself.
In the past, I would be stressing myself with all of the uncertainty before me. I would beat myself up for the weight gain and the uncomfortable feelings I am having. I would engage in a mental self flagellation that would leave scars, welts and bruises. They were not only painful to me. They were visible to others,which often made people stand offish towards me, as if some how I was unapproachable.The truth is, my self loathing did nothing to allow people to approach me.
It's different today. 
I am open and honest, maybe a little too much, when it comes to discussing and acknowledging how I am feeling. 
It's nice. 
It's kind. 
It's forgiving.
On this How am I doin' Friday, I can honestly say I am doing just fine!
Shabbat Shalom!