It's 4:30 in the morning. I have been at my desk since a little before 3,in part a residual effect from the last 2 days which somehow managed to slip away from me . At around 2 this morning I found myself wide awake and staring at the ceiling.Instead of fighting with my pillow and wrestling with my blanket, I decided to get a head start on the day in the hopes of freeing up some time as well as attending to some agenda items that have been left undone.
So far, it's been a good day!
I have sent out a few emails that even though have not been answered yet,are off of my to do list.I have also found some quiet time to think as well as to listen to some of my daily work including my Darren Daily.The day feels like I have the opportunity to respond to my to do list rather than react to it.
As I cleared up some open items, I remembered that two days ago, I had wanted to address something that my mentor had put out for thought.
In his daily message, Darren suggested making a list of the 3 things that I would not do in 2016. What 3 things are so important to me, that I will not compromise on them.
Two of them came to me immediately.The third seemed to elude me. That is until this morning. The quiet of the stillness of the early morning has allowed me to to be open to my innermost thoughts and feelings.In that calm and quiet, it was easy to see what these three immutable "will not's"  are.
* I will not go back!
* I will not give up!
* I will not minimize my self worth!
I have worked very hard over the last two and a half years to get where I am today.My health is the best it has been in decades,absolutely the best since becoming an adult (when exactly did that happen !).
* I will not go back!
I am not making nearly as much money as I once did, however I have a clearer picture of my finances and a more rational approach to how to deal with this.
* I will not give up!I have a much better understanding of who I am and my value to others.
* I will not minimize my self worth!
I have a long list of accomplishments (notice I did not say accolades) that if put on a resume would be beyond impressive.I have given and have so much more to give.Wherever I am and wherever I go, is nourished by my presence. Whoever I meet or whoever I come in contact with is elevated through that encounter.I understand that this is the busiest of two way streets as I grow from each and everyone of these events and experiences. My takeaways far outreach what I give.What I gain from them is immeasurable.
In the past,I did not have the self esteem to understand that this was in fact a two way street. I would be upset because others did not acknowledge my value. I would not take credit for my accomplishments. always deflecting and deferring to others.Self promotion was (and still is) abhorrent to me.
Awareness and acknowledgement of my worth is different.Understanding who I am and what I am about and what I have to offer and what I bring to any given situation or relationship is huge!
* I will not go back!
* I will not give up!
* I will not minimize my self worth!Never again!