The beginning of the end of Summer

“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

Kevin Arnold

I know it sounds dumb, but I have always seen the 4th of July as the beginning of the end of summer.

Way back in early June,right after Memorial Day, my thoughts always turned towards the upcoming Summer season.

The anticipation of what lay ahead was always exciting.

Well almost always exciting.

There was also a fair amount of uncertainty that accompanied the new season.

When I was younger, it was the disconnect from any relationships that had been fostered during the school year.

Summer went everyone went there own way and by September,well,things would be different.

For me,this anxiety started in grade school and continued pretty much through college graduation.

The biggest difference was the distance.

Instead of my grade school friends heading back to their own neighborhoods,by college,it was the distance between exits on the GSP or Turnpike.

I suppose that was a moribund view of life.

Hey, I never claimed to be Mr. Happy!

I do have many great 4th of July memories.

Susan and I got engaged on the 4th of July.

There was always marching in the 4th of July parade.

More recently, it was the 4th of July BBQ at the JCCP that was the highlight for me.

And of course there were fireworks.

Paramus always had a great display when I was a kid.

First at the High School which was across town,and later on at the Jr. High School behind my house.

There was a brief period when the town canceled any fireworks,however a few years ago, they re- instituted this gala event and when they did so it was even bigger and better than ever.

I also remember a year,1976 to be exact, playing a concert in South Jersey with the big band from my fraternity.

It was a crazy day,for me anyway.

I often wonder if any of those guys remember the events of the day?

I certainly do. Right down to my white pants and flowered Hawaiian shirt.(Think of the original Magnum P.I. look!).

I guess if I think about it, the 4th of July has been a whole lot more to me than just the beginning of the end of Summer.

Still, there is this haunting hurt that I can't seem to let go of.