Not feeling great......

This morning as I was getting dressed I realized that it was yet another "how am I doin' Friday" and all I could think of was"not great!"
This bothered me as obviously I just walked right through the front door of that cursed house of comparison.
When I say not great, I am not speaking of health issues. Other than my foot which is still a challenge, I feel fine.
I am speaking of the more general state of my being.
And it felt not great this morning. 
Everything in my life is okay. 
Everything in my life is just fine.
Everything in my life is good.
Nothing in my life feels great!
That may sound a bit confusing or even petty on my part. 
That is the cursed house I have walked into.
I am watching as many around me who I work with or interact with are experiencing great and instead of appreciating all that is good in my life, I am trying to find great.
It is foolish on my part.
Entering this cursed house is not a smart plan.
Yet I can't seem to stop myself!
I want the excitement of great.
I want the challenge of great.
I thrive under the struggle and effort it takes to have great.
And the best I seem to be able to muster is okay....good....fine.
I remember in my younger days talking to a female friend after a "hot" first date.
She described the kiss good night as okay.
I remember her commenting that if the first kiss was "okay" there probably was not much hope for what the next one would be like!
I guess I am being a bit near sighted.
Pleasant is ....pleasant.
Nice is ....nice.
Good should be good enough!
Still all I can seem to think about is that I am not experiencing great!
And I am so wrong when I do that.
Tonight we will have our weekly Shabbat dinner.
Once again, there will as always be a couple of chickens accompanied by a number of side dishes.
We will do as we do every week,. We will make kiddush over the wine and say hamotzi over the bread. The dogs will get their little treat of challah and we , the entire family will enjoy another Friday night meal together. It's very nice.
Or is it?
You did hear me say that we do this every single week. Not once in awhile. Not now and again.Not when we have the opportunity. We do this every Friday night and have done this every Friday night since Sara was about 3, some 26 years ago.
If that doesn't constitute great, then maybe I need to take a good hard look at what is really important in life!
Shabbat Shalom!