Letting go ....

Last night, I had an unanticipated and brief encounter with some of the gremlins from my past.On an evening where I was particularly relaxed and calm, I looked down and they they were staring at me.Of course I recognized them immediately. However,instead of that feeling of dread that in the past would have overwhelmed me, I kind of smiled. It was that kind of smile that appears when you come across an old photograph that was tucked away in a draw. 
It was a smile born of recognizing something from my past. 
The gremlin was no longer scary to me.
It has been a while now since the fearful feelings that would come up for me whenever I encountered this gremlin.
Those feelings of not being good enough, not being worthy, or deserving that plagued me for a very very long time. 
Last night, I I stared at my old acquaintance, I realized that I no longer reacted with that fear and those doubts when he is around. 
HE has become the old dog that once lived at the end of the block terrorizing us all. Now he's like a familiar old soul, who just wants to be left alone.
He has no energy left. I am pretty sure he never meant to scare me.....it's just how I reacted when he was around.
Was it a waste of time and energy?
Perhaps....or perhaps it was my way of protecting myself. 
In either case,it is in the past.
 I have let it go.
And there is nothing more liberating than letting go!
Shavua Tov!