Happy and Helpless!

So much has happened already today. I don't even know where to focus my thoughts!
For instance,some one who has accompanied me for over 800 days on my journey sent me a short message "please stop sending me your dailies."
While this is not the first time I have received a note like this,I am left wondering what happened that suddenly, out of the clear blue,someone who has been by my side,and intimately connected,has chosen to step aside.
I hope all is well ,yet my senses tell me something is amiss.
I feel a bit helpless.
Another email and another quandary. A dear friend who has a family member with a severe weight problem reached out yet again. This time the situation has escalated and hospitals and life saving measures have come in to play. So scary and painful for my friend.
Again, that helpless feeling is creeping up.
On a personal note, there are many balloons floating in the air. People not responding to emails phone calls or texts are leaving me frustrated and wondering what else I can be doing to help myself.
Once again....that helpless feeling!
Now my ISP is down and I can not receive or send any emails.....very frustrating!
And I am left feeling helpless! 
None of this resonates with or matches how I truly am today. I was energetic and well rested after a very decent night's sleep. I sat at my desk this morning and went through every bit of mail,every note and every scrap of paper.
A fresh start for the day,the week and the season. 
That's the ticket!
At Saturday night's event, during a conversation with a friend I have known since I was a child,I was asked "if you had your way,what would you like to be doing with your life? What would make you happy?"
Those are actually two different things. The second is the easy part. Nothing can make me happy. Happy is a choice and I am at my best when I remember to make that choice.
The first part is the tough one. I know what I would like to be doing.If I were 21,unencumbered and with the responsibilities of a young man starting out in the world, I would simply follow my passions. The problem is two fold,I am 61 not 21 and when I was 21 I did not have the wisdom that I have at 61.
Sad but true!
I seem to be dealing with the same theme I was befuddled by when this Journey began.
I have come a long long way on this Journey. I have learned a lot about life and about myself along the way. Probably the single most important thing I have learned is that each question I encounter and answer leads me to many more complex questions.
Some times,ignorance is bliss. 
The knowledge gained along my Journey.....
well there's that helpless feeling again!

Happy Monday!