How Am I Doin' Friday

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.”

Dale Carnegie 

You may have noticed that I have been trying to us Fridays as my way of reporting in with you.

Healthwise,all is well.

That is physically.

Food program is good.

Adding more moving around daily.

Like I said, physically no complaints.

Mentally, spiritually and emotionally?

Well that's a different ball of wax.

I am not one of those people who likes to live in the past.

I don't yearn for the good ole days.

Change is a) inevitable b) constant and c) a necessity.

I almost said c) a good thing, but I am not sure that change is always good and effects each of us in a different way.

I found myself wondering yesterday if in fact I was basically done.

The world around me has changed.

A lot!

And it keeps on changing,more rapidly each day.

From where I stand, I am not all that comfortable with many of these changes.

My response is withdrawal.

Like some dish that I find unappetizing, I often find myself pushing it aside and doing without that meal.

There was a time when if I didn't like the change, my response would e to find something better.

Change the change if you would.

Seems I don't have the chuchmas for that anymore (Google it).

I once loved living here in suburbia.when our family moved here over 50 years ago,it was to build a better life away from the big city.

Today,we're just an extension of that big city.I think it's called urban sprawl.

When my parents brought us to Paramus,it was to build a better life for their family.

It was a risky bold move.

Trust me, Paramus was no hot bed of Jewish culture back then.

My folks were confident that they could provide that part while at the same time moving to a community that shared the same dreams that they had. A safe,friendly environment in which to raise a family. Hardworking people who all wanted the same thing.

The American dream.

Friends were the kids next door or at best a bike ride away.

We chose them based on proximity not diversity.

A friend asked me how things were for me earlier this week.

I replied "Stagnant".

Then I said "and as they say,if you're not growing you're dying".

His response was "I am growing....growing tired, growing frustrated, growing fed-up."

It seems I'm not alone!

Maybe I'm done.

Maybe I took my shot, had my chance and it's time for me to move over and let somebody else have a crack at it.

Feels more than a little bit crappy!

It certainly doesn't feel good.

I have turned off the news.

I have turned off social media.

I am quarantined,mandated as well as self imposed.

The word that best describes me is impotent.

Feeling done.

And that is no way to be feeling at all.

Shabbat Shalom!