The Empty Desk

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Carl Rogers

In my office sits a desk that has been unoccupied for just over 2 years now.

It is the desk that Becky my office admin had used for 12 years.

For the first year after she left when she had her first baby (making me a Grandboss ) I left it exactly as it was ,untouched ready for her return.

After a year,it became evident that her eventual return was not going to happen.

It was at that point that I rearranged my office,retaining the extra desk just in case.

As I said, it has now sat empty for over 2 years and while I have no immediate plans to fill the seat that goes with it,it has become perfectly clear to me that if I want to be the best me that I can be,that will have to change.

Not having that go to person has severely hampered me.

There are "things" that need doing that I just don't excel at and quite frankly have no need or desire to.

Oh sure, I could tackle these things,which would take time and effort that I could be spending on other things.Things that I DO excel at and that quite frankly make me who I am.

Becky is not coming back, that's obvious to me.

Nor am I looking for the next Becky...she was one of a kind.

Eventually, I will relent and begin the search for the next occupant of the empty desk.

I know that to be an inevitability.

Today is not that day.

However, the more I learn about myself and how I operate the more certain I am that that day is getting nearer and nearer.