I was introduced to mindfulness by Rabbi Yael Levy .
I also have attended a number of seminars ,workshops and classes at The Krame Center for Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies at Ramapo College. Anything they offer for free is for me!
The course I am taking will take me from Level 1 (where I am now) through Levels 2 & # and eventually through Master Practitioner.
While this may sound really impressive, it's really not.
I honestly have no idea what doors will open or what this acquired knowledge will do for me.
I do know that mindfulness resonates with me, hence why I am taking this course.
This week we dealt with Freud's levels of consciousness., the conscious mind, the subconscious mid and the unconscious mind.
More than a few light bulbs turned on for me.
This morning I saw my reflection in the mirror. My conscious mind said "presentable". My reality of the here and now saw an image of a fairly normal looking man.
My sub-conscious mind, the one that does all of the thinking, began plotting out how to improve upon the image in the mirror.
My food plan for the day.
How much I have lost.
How much more do I need to lose.
How much time is available before I have to squeeze into a suit and what will can I expect to accomplish in that limited time frame.
All good stuff.
Ahh...but then my unconscious mind took over. Like the Titanic hitting the iceberg, it was the unseen part deep below the surface that would sink my spirits and eventually lead to catastrophic results.
My unconscious mind with all of its baggage,the fears,the guilt,the doubt,the self loathing accumulated over years and years of my life crept in.
There was the disappointment in not being where I once was.
There were all of the sets of eyes judging me again.
I heard the little voices in my head that said Fat David, you're just not as good as every one else.
Here's the scary part. I have no control over my subconscious mind.
When these thoughts pop up, they come from a lifetime of bad experiences.
They happen to all of us.
The good news is I am getting much better at responding to them.
Through my study of mindfulness I am developing an understanding of how to deal with the here and now of my life instead of the piles of and heaps of garbage that for years has controlled my life.
Pretty neat stuff if you ask me!
BTW....the image in the mirror wasn't half bad!
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