What the hell am I doing?
This is the question I find that I am asking myself lately.
What the hell am I doing with my life?
Once asked,I believe the question should be answered.
So what am I doing with my life?
As I look back, let's just say over the last year, what have I been doing and what have I accomplished?
At the start of 2017 one of my goals was to be 1% better today than I was yesterday. 
I knew if I could accomplish that the compound effects would be huge.
That 1% could be in any area of my life.
My health, my finances, my relationships, my happiness.
Or it could be a little bit in each area,as long as I was constantly adding that 1%.
It's hard to gauge exactly what 1% looks like when it comes to being better at life.
If were to lose 1% of my weight that would be awesome.
That didn't actually happen every day.
I don't know if I smiled 1% more today than yesterday. 
Maybe I did.
If I look at the big picture though, the overall snapshot, did I accomplish what I set out to do,
make myself better every day?
From the financial side of things that would be a resounding yes.
The sleepless nights desperately wondering how last months's bills would get paid have shifted,a lot!
After too many years to enumerate, that part of my life is so significantly different I can't even begin to describe it to you.
Not that Jeff Bezos has anything to worry about, however, I know I have a whole lot less that I worry about.
That's a good thing.
It's been a grind all year getting to this point. 
Driving the bus ,first 10 hours a week, then 14 then 18,then 21 now 26.
Incrementally adding dollars that could close the gap from the minus side to the even side (I'm still working on getting to the plus side!).
Stabilizing Halloween income. 
Addressing my credit situation.
Adding by subtracting.
This has probably been the greatest change over the past 15 months or so. 
That's great news. 
My health?
Well, it was almost 5 years ago when this became the number 1 priority for me.
380 pounds was a long time ago and while I have taken a step or 2 backwards in this area of my life, I have not thrown it all away or even let it get that far out of control.
Over the last 40 days, I have begun recapturing the ground I have lost here as well. More great stuff!
So why am I struggling with the question of  What the hell am I doing?
Because it's time for me to take on another great challenge.
I am not sure what that challenge is.
I know it has something to do with this. 
My writing.
My purpose.
My happiness. 
My significance.
Oddly, I just re read my quote for the day :
 

While I am not sure of the answer to my question, I do know that if I continue to take small steps, add little victories and grab that 1% of better, my life will take on greater meaning.
Thanks Oprah!
(I can't believe I'm thanking Oprah Winfrey!)
Shabbat Shalom!