My father always told me he didn't care what I chose to be in life or do with my life.That to him was inconsequential. The only thing that mattered to him for me was that what ever I chose to do, what ever path I took in life, I was the best I could possibly be at that task. That did not equate to being the best at that job. It meant that my effort was the best effort I could summon forth.
As you can well imagine, this can be a cumbersome task.
One thing I have learned is that no matter how well you do or how much effort you put forth, there is always an untapped reserve. Hence,the burdensome question"did I do my best?"
Often when working with others I would here "good enough for Union work" (no offense to any union members).
It simply meant the job was done well enough for most standards.
That did not necessarily mean that it was done to my standards or that I couldn't improve upon my efforts.
I suppose this mantra lead to my desire to always change things,to always be improving on things, to always finding a better way .
Obviously no matter how good things are or how well things seem to be going or how much I am doing, the nagging question that literally keeps me up at night is what if?
What if I did this.
What if I try that?
What if I worked a little harder, a little smarter a little longer?

My sister turned 60 the other day.
I wondered if she was having any conversations with her self in regards to where she was in her life at 60.
This made me ask myself "so where are you at what will soon be 63?"
It just so happened I posed this to myself as I was alone driving my bus back from my first run of the day.
I'm driving a bus.
I guess greatness has eluded me.
Or is there still time for me to find greatness.
Truth is, I was being grossly unfair to myself.
In fact, as I look in the rear view mirror (my life's rear view mirror, not the one on the bus), there has been an awful lot of great!
I won't bore you with an itemized list partially because I probably would forget a lot of the great things.
My fear or concern is not so much that it's too late.
I really don't believe that.
My uneasiness is rooted in what, where and when will the next opportunity for great appear.
This is what fills my head day and night.
This is what I concern myself with every waking and even many sleeping hours of each day.
BTW....that 63 thing happens in 19 days.
Just sayin'!