Money Matters

“A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.”

Saint Basil 

We all have heard that money can't buy happiness.

While this is true, it can absolutely buy misery.

The best way to ruin a friendship is over money matters.

Over the years, I have seen relationships between business partners ruined over money.

I have seen families torn apart over money matters.

I have watched friendships disintegrate over money.

Nothing builds walls between people faster than money.

It's an awful truth.

As for myself, I know the quickest way to get under my skin is when you screw with my money.

Even though I am aware of this, I can't help but to get lit up anytime anyone screws with my finances.

I go ballistic at the mere mention of an issue.

I also stress out beyond belief when I know I have to have one of those uncomfortable money conversations.

It is most certainly the root of all that is evil in my world.

Knowing all of this does not change the fact that to this very day, I end up getting so disappointed when people react and behave poorly over money matters.

It's very sad.

In the end, it's only money.

We all still have our health, our family, our loved ones, our friends and colleagues.

Do a few shekels really mean that much?

I swear, I know people who have been more forgiving over infidelities' and marital indiscretions than they are over finances.

It's a sickness.

Unfortunately, I don't think Pfizer or Moderna or J& J are working on a vaccine for tis pandemic!

Shavua Tov!

8 Letters

 

Lately I have noticed that people have forgotten how to use the words "thank you".

8 letters should not be that hard to string together.

As a result of this, I personally have become more diligent in making sure that I remember this catchy little phrase.

Thank you!

2 words.

8 letters.

Pretty simple.

Others appreciate it when you say it and it costs you nothing.

How great is that!

I really don't understand how saying this simple acknowledgement of gratitude has fallen out of grace.

It's almost as if people have taken others for granted.

Or maybe we all just think that we just deserve things , therefore saying thank you is not necessary.

I for one, think it's kind of rude.

I also know that when I use these 8 letters, I feel better about myself.

I know it can become cumbersome.

I say thank you and then you feel obliged to say your welcome and then I have to say no really thanks a lot and you have to respond with no really it was nothing and then it gets all kinds of awkward.

No it doesn't!

It should be as natural and easy as breathing.

This is the time of year, as I find myself on the eve of Yom Kippur, where I would normally ask for your forgiveness for any wrong I may have knowingly or unwittingly committed towards you.

This year, I would like to add a great big thank you to that request.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for all that you have or may have done for me.

Thank you for being part of my world.

Thank you.

g'mar chatima tova

May you be sealed in the Book of Life!

Blessings

“Our lives are defined not by the challenges we encounter, but by how we respond to those challenges.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 My Rabbi left me a voice mail the other day saying "when I don't see you writing I know you must be really busy".

He's 100% correct!

On those days when I hit the ground running, I feel as if it is frivolous of me to carve out the quiet mental space I need to take a few minutes to write.

It is always a tough choice.

However, when I know that there are mountains for me to climb, it is all but impossible to take the time to just enjoy the view.

It's a difficult balance that I should probably pay more attention to.

Paying attention.

Another recurring theme lately!

I received a congratulatory email from a dear friend from High School on the Grand Opening Event for The Petcare Market.

He mentioned that we will catch up on some other "stuff" down the road as well, however, he closed his note to me with "...., I know we are both quite grateful for much."

Again, another reminder for me to pay attention.

Yesterday's event was by all measures a great success. It was well attended, we made some money and raised a bunch of cash for the rescue that the adoption event was supporting.

Still, instead of acknowledging the blessings of the day. I found myself focusing on things that one might deem as negatives.

Negative, frustrating and depressing things.

Thankfully, it was Barry to the rescue once again, to remind me to count the blessings.

While we don't communicate often, he some how seems to appear at just the right moments.

He is one of those blessings I should be so grateful for.

One of many that fill my life!

Different & Difficult

  "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."

Helen Keller

Rosh Hashana has come and gone.

This year, the holiday was both different and difficult for me.

The different part was not attending services of any kind.

Unlike last year, not attending services was my choice, not something that was foisted upon me by silly restrictions.

My choice was a direct by-product of those silly restrictions from last year.

The shutdown of 2020 afforded me the space and opportunity to ask myself why.

Why do I attend services?

Why do I put myself through this?

Why do I even bother?

Unlike the the lyrics of the song, I am not dealing with " you don't know what you've lost til it's gone".

I am not feeling any significant loss around this what so ever.

The difficult part was walking away from and shutting down the business.

Like caring for an infant, this new endeavor needs a lot of constant attention.

It is to new to be able to just be on it's own.

For lack of a better analogy, it has barely begun to crawl.

Standing on it's own two feet is just not part of the program yet.

Losing two days to Hurricane Henri and then two more to Hurricane Ida, certainly has not helped either.

We are just not mature enough as an entity to be able to just absorb shutting down for six or seven days in less than a month.

Not to mention the shutdown we had due to a collapsed main drain.

It's been difficult.

Difficult and frustrating.

My frustration comes from feeling a bit helpless in avoiding these stumbling blocks.

Tow steps forward , one step back has started to feel a bit like one step forward two steps back and that to me is very frustrating!

Sunday is our Grand Opening Adoption Event.

My hopes are that it will serve as the priming of the pump here.

I truly believe that once we get a flow, we are well prepared to keep it going.

The phone just rang....our Valpack advertising just hit!

That's a good thing.....one step forward.

Of course, we do have another shutdown this week for Yom Kippur,(one step back?).

Maybe not.

Maybe it can be that day of reflection and contemplation.

Maybe it can serve as a time for remembering how grateful I am for what I have, what we have accomplished and all of the blessings that are yet to come our way.

Now that would be different!

A sweet, healthy and happy new year

“There is only one time that is important - NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power.”

Leo Tolstoy

 And now the holiday is here.

I'm speaking of Rosh Hashana, not Labor Day.

As disconnected as I may feel from the way I have experienced the High Holiday season in the past, the one omni present message that keeps coming up is my wish for all of my friends, family colleagues and acquaintances for a sweet healthy and happy new year.

I couldn't ask for anything else.

Each time I type this into an email or text, I feel better.

It's like some magical incantation.

the more I say it, the more I connect to it.

A sweet healthy and happy year.

What more do we need in life?

שָׁנָה טוֹבָה וּמְתוּקָה

"shanah tovah u'metukah"

Sad to say

“Only when life is difficult, are we challenged to become our greatest selves.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 Tomorrow evening our family will gather together for dinner to celebrate Rosh Hashana and the start of the High Holidays as we do every year.

Every year except one over almost 3 decades.

Sadly, I find myself entering the holiday season this year with absolute ambivalence.

The connection to the significance of the High Holiday season has completely eluded me this year.

After the break created by last year's restrictions, I find no reason to return to the way it always used to be.

I know longer have the same connection to the community I once felt so committed to maintaining.

I never was "devout" when it came to prayer.

My family certainly doesn't have any connection to the holidays other than what I create or bring to the table.

The "stuff" that should well up inside of me , that in the past has welled up inside of me, just isn't there.

I am neither mindful of or thoughtful towards the significance of the season.

Nor am I like Scrooge at Christmas time.

I am not expecting visits from spirits of High Holidays past.

The profound has been completely erased by the mundane.

It is sad to say.

It diminishes who I am.

It diminishes the quality of my life.

Yet, I don't even care to change that.

Like a loveless relationship, I feel no need to go through the motions.

It's a sad thing.

Lord only knows how many(or few) Yom Tovim I have left in my life.

It seems very sad t be feeling as disconnected from them as I do.

I can't imagine that I will suddenly experience some sort of epiphany .

It kind of just is what it is.

And what it is is just very sad.

Still , I want to wish you all:

“Shanah tovah um’tukah”-“Have a good and sweet year.”

and

“Tizku l’shanim rabot”-“May you see many more years.”

Shavua Tov!

Seed, Soil & Sunhine

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”

Anthony J. D'Angelo

 To say that things have gone slightly less than smoothly lately would not be an understatement by any stretch of the imagination.

Getting on a roll just doesn't seem to be happening.

Two steps forward, one step back seems to be the rule of thumb since we opened the shop.

The bright side of this is that it is 2 steps forward and 1 step back, not one step forward and 2 steps back!

No matter what happens, life is moving in the right direction.

This is not to say that each time I hit a bump in the road, I don't feel as if I just got smacked again.

However, none of them are gut punches that render me immobile.

When you climb into the ring, expect to get hit!

In the end, I always come back to being a farmer.

Farming is simple (not easy!).

Seed, soil and sunshine.

It's a simple formula.

Then water and wait.

I truly believe we have put in the prep work needed to pave the way towards being a success.

Time will tell.

Time and a good healthy helping of positivity!

Shabbat Shalom!

A simpler time

 “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

The Buddha

It's not like me to spend a whole lot of time gazing into the rear view mirror.

Yesterday is in the past and for the most part, that's where it should remain.

The wonders of technology and the conveniences we have today can not be compared to life as I remember it growing up.

The world has changed so rapidly.

With that said, I do find myself wondering what we gave up along the way and at what cost?

Specifically this morning, I was thinking about going to the doctor today as compared to when I was a kid.

Our family had a family doctor.

We all went to the same family doctor (although by the time my brother came around he had a pediatrician).

His office was in the lower level of his house, a very nice split level which afforded him a separate entrance to see patients.

He had a waiting room, an office and an examination room.

There was no receptionist, billing clerk or nurse, just the doctor.

His exam room had an x-ray machine, which he operated himself. We didn't have to go to a radiology facility for a sprained ankle.

When we were really sick, the doctor would make what was called a house visit, carrying with him his little black doctor's bag.

Do doctors even have little black bags anymore?

After our visit, on the way out, my father would take out his check book, write a check and the billing process was now complete.

Money was always tight in the Spiegel house and I am sure there were times when the office visit might have been discounted but he always got paid.

And I think he was paid well. My doctor, along with the other doctors in the community all had the nicer homes, drove the nicer cars and their kids wore the nicer clothes.

All of their kids went to summer camp and not just day camp.

Doctors made a good living even back then.

I dare say, better than most.

It was just a whole lot simpler.

I know, medicine has made huge strides in 60 years.

But a cold is still a cold, the flu is still the flu, stitches are still just stiches, an ankle sprain is still, an ankle sprain and an x-ray is still just an x-ray.

Doctors had license plates that said MD on them. I always believed this was so that they could park anywhere they needed to, not just as a sign of vanity.

Today things are quite different.

Things are not quite as simple.

And not just with doctors , so don't think I am picking on them. I'm not.

Try calling a plumber nowadays!

Times were simpler.

Does that mean better?

Maybe.

The World's Greatest Salespeople

“A tree that is unbending, is easily broken.”

Lao Tzu 

In the decades that I have been in the business world, I have met a lot of really great sales people.

Some of them I must add are close relatives and dear friends.

They can sell anything to anyone.

However, none of them compare to veterinarians.

In my humble opinion, vets and the people who work for them, have to be the absolutely greatest sales force I have ever encountered.

On a daily basis, we have customers who come into our store, looking for one of 2 specific brands of dog food sold almost exclusively in vet's offices.

When we tell them we don't carry these brands, they all do a quick about face and leave.

If we have the opportunity to engage them in conversation, they smile politely and then head for the door.

Their devotion to these 2 brands is cult like.

From a nutritional standpoint, both of these brands are akin to feeding your dogs McDonalds every day.

Read the ingredients and you are hard pressed to find anything redeeming about them.

To boot, the vets have sold people on the idea that these are "prescription" diets, specially formulated for dogs with "conditions" like theirs.

Hogwash!

You wouldn't eat a Big Mac ,large fries and chocolate shake everyday , 3 meals a day.

That's what these people are feeding their dogs.

Would these folks ever take the time to do a little research?

Hell no! The vet prescribed this. End of the discussion.

If we followed our own doctor's medical advise as diligently, we would be the healthiest country in the world! (then again....?)

Vets have done an awesome job for these 2 brands who by the way, helped supplement their education, an education that barely spent any time on nutrition.

So today I take my hat off to the veterinary community, the greatest hucksters since P.T. Barnum!

Shavua Tov!

Texting

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."

Winston Churchill 

I'm old enough to remember when there was no such thing as texting.

I am also old enough to remember how offended and turned off I once was to this mode of communication.

Thankfully I am wise enough to have come to realize that like any form of communication it can be a useful tool particularly when used properly.

However, as it is with other forms of communicating, I believe there is an etiquette to texting.

Unanswered texts are for lack of a better word just plain rude!

I'm not talking about the marketing texts that we all get.

They can readily be ignored.

Person to person texts deserve a response.

It's not like a phone call.

You don't have to exchange pleasantries.

A simple "okay" "yes" "no" or "maybe " is often enough.

There are also a plethora of emojis for the more sophisticated texters.

There literally is no excuse for not responding to a text.

Your phone is by your side almost constantly.

A text response takes all of 10 seconds in most cases.

Not responding to texts is tantamount to saying "you don't matter to me".

I'm not saying responses have to be immediate, although there is very little reason why they can't be.

But at some point in our busy days we can all find a minute or two to check and make sure we get back to anyone who reached out to us.

I've been guilty of missing a text now and then.

The thing about texts is that they just sit there and you can always look back and check to see if in fact you did respond.

It's not that difficult.

Unless of course that's exactly what you are trying to be.

Shabbat Shalom!

The truth is.....

 “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

Mark Twain

Every day I have the good fortune of receiving a message from the Universe.

Okay , so maybe it's not really from some mystical place in the nether world, however, I often find that these messages help to remind me of my place in the grand scheme of things.

Today was one of those days.

The truth is:

there's never been: 

• A drought that didn't end,
• A storm that didn't clear,
• Lightning that didn't retreat,
• An earthquake that didn't still,
• A flood that didn't recede, or,
• A virus that wasn't eventually, completely, and utterly overwhelmed by the healthy.

I actually had this conversation with myself yesterday.

A dear friend posted something on Facebook about stress.

I shared with her the advise that my mentor Darren Hardy has shared with me on numerous occasions about stress....GET OVER YOURSELF!"

Being stressed out is such a waste of time and energy.

I can say that for most of my life, particularly my adult life, money has been my biggest stress point.

Yet here I am still here alive and well after decades of living with those monetary pressures.

How much energy, how much time how much of my well being was wasted stressing over money, or for that matter anything else.

In the end, it all passes, one way or another.

Eventually it's all in the past.

I am much better today than I ever have been in the past with this.

Not anywhere near perfect, barely on the cusp of being good at it.

I am however, aware of it which in itself has been a great awakening.

I am not one given to quoting scripture however, here's one worth keeping in mind::

"And This Too Shall Pass"

 2 Corinthians 4: 17-18

Have a great day!

Now that was a storm!

 

This is what the building that stood on what is now our current shop looked like after Hurricane Floyd in 1999.This is also why I get so damn annoyed when the today's media gets so hysterical over every single storm that comes our way. This was a storm!

Today, the media reacts to every event as if it was a repeat of this kind of devastation. They do it with everything , not just the weather. and that is why they are referred to as fake. Every skirmish is not the D-Day landing. Every storm is not Hurricane Floyd and every virus is not the Black Plague.

If they had a modicum of perspective when they reported the news maybe we could believe what it is they are reporting on. They just don't. Like braindead sheep , the majority of the public buys into their nonsense. Our leaders and government officials know this all too well and they use it to advance nonsensical agendas that keep them in power and us at each other's throats, those that buy into this crap and those that realize just how fake this fake news is.

I am already hearing warnings about Hurricane Ida, the next supposed storm which has not even begun to develop yet.

Man the life boats!

We all need a little perspective folks.

We can't be afraid of everything, mainly because everything just isn't that scary!

Let's save the panic and hand wringing for a real disaster.

Water Water everywhere

                          “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.”

Alexander Graham Bell                 

                                               "Water water everywhere nor any drop to drink"

-The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

This line seems to be the story of my life lately.

Last week we were dealing with clogged drains backing up not allowing water to leave the building.

That was repaired on Saturday.

This week, with the storm that dumped quite a bit of rain on the area, we now have a number of roof leaks.

First we couldn't get the water out of the building, now we can't keep the water from coming into the building!

Kind of ironic!

When we took this new space, we knew of the history of flooding in the area.

As a long time resident of Bergen County, I am all to familiar with this spot affectionately nicknamed Lake Lodi due to the way it floods during heavy rains.

This last storm was no exception.

This morning on the way into work, we were greeted by orange road cones and the flashing lights of emergency vehicles.

The road leading to our shop was closed.

The best we could do was park a block away at the funeral home and walk.

I'm not sure when they closed the road.

We got here at around 8:30.

It's now well past noon and it's still closed.

Susan has been sitting at the bagel store a few blocks up for almost an hour with our dogs (they told her that the road would be opened in 20 minutes and hour ago!).

Such is life in a flood zone.

The good news is that when we parked and walked to the shop this morning, Channel 12 news was in the parking lot. As the owner of the shop, they were eager to interview Becca.

You know the old saying, any publicity is good publicity!

Another day here in paradise!

If you live or work in the area, you are accustomed to this.

It's just part of life.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

All you need is to add water!

Never let a good crisis go to waste

 "You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before."

Rahm Emanuel

I couldn't help but to think of this now infamous quote today.

It seems everything nowadays is a crisis, and if it isn't somehow it gets turned into one.

Today's current "crisis" is no different.

The media started revving us up a few days ago.

A tropical storm, or what we used to call rain, Henri, was bearing down on the East Coast.

Immediately, social media was ablaze with messages from concerned friends from across the country with heart emojis and prayers for our safety.

Okay people, calm down....it's going to rain here!

As the weather serviced tracked the oncoming storm (read RAIN), the warnings became more dire as did the underlying message to run for the hills.

Supermarkets of course had the usual onslaught of idiots loading up on toilet paper and life rafts.

By mid afternoon Saturday, NY States criminal governor and NYC's buffoon of a mayor, had both declared a state of emergency further increasing the anxiety level and preying on the fears of millions of people.

Sure enough, late Saturday evening the rain started.

At about 4 in the morning, cell phones started blaring emergency alerts about tornado warnings, every 15 minutes.

I suppose we should all have headed for the root cellar and chained ourselves to the well pipes, unfortunately most of us don't have root cellars anymore and very few of us have wells.

As predicted, it has continued to rain (read drizzle) all day here.

But was there really a need for the manufactured crisis. For God's sake, it's rain.

There was no peril involved.

This however, is how everything is reported and acted upon lately.

Over reacting allows those in power, those who govern, and those in the media, to continue to exploit an already vulnerable population who has become all to accustomed to being told what to do and when to do it instead of thinking for ourselves and living responsible lives.

It doesn't take a genius to see that it's raining outside and you should probably choose to not eat outdoors.

Nope. instead all restaurants were ordered to shut down outside dining.

Ridiculous!

Over reaching!

Overbearing!

Remember the 2 week shut down to flatten the curve?

How well did that work out?

When did we just surrender?

I see it all over, on billboards, social media, television and on the radio.

Fear mongering to control us.

Pretty damn scary this new way of living.

So much for rugged individualism.

The Marlboro man has been replaced by the Marlboro sissy!

Now that's scary to me

Some good things from the quarantine

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein

 I can always find a positive take away from any situation.

This is a truism I have embraced ,particularly over the last decade.

The last 18 months of quarantines, mandates and shutdowns is no exception.

Oh sure, there is plenty to bitch and complain about.

There are have also been many pluses.

For instance, telecommuting.

Well before last March, I had often wondered why more businesses had not embraced having their employees work from home. Commuting is a drag and as we have learned in many cases, completely unnecessary.

A 1 hour commute into NY is actually more like 2 or more hours when you add in getting to and from the bus as well as standing and waiting for it. Just getting out the door each day adds another hour or more.

Working at home does away with all of that. A lunch hour can be more like a lunch 15 minutes and still be more relaxing than gathering your stuff up,going down to the street, finding a place to eat, dealing with the crowded streets.

Instead, at home, you get up from your desk, throw something in the microwave, go sit on your deck or patio for a few minutes and eat a relaxing meal. All in 15 minutes or less.

Another plus for me was becoming an on-line shopper, particularly with groceries.

I now buy most of my non-perishables on line and have them delivered. I have cut my in store shopping by at least 90%.

Curbside pick up.

What a god send!

Home Depot, Lowes, Best Buy just to name a few. Order it on line.

Pull into the parking lot.

Someone brings your order to your car.

What a concept!

Possibly the best thing about this shutdown in regards to relationships.

How often before last March did I see pictures on Facebook of a group of my friends having a get together and realizing "crap, why wasn't I invited?".

How many times did I drive past a friends house and notice a bunch of cars out front and come to find out that I wasn't invited to the bbq.

For years this had always haunted me.

I so often felt like the odd man out.

For the past 18 months, there were no such gatherings.

To me that was great.

I didn't have to feel left out.

Lately, as things have returned to pre shut down normal, I am finding myself once all to often on the outside looking in.

This too has it's plus side believe it or not.

I can now stop caring.

During the last 18 months, I have learned that there are really only a handful of people that I am close to or that I can really count on.

I no longer have to care or look elsewhere.

I have become accustomed to not caring.

I don't attend funerals any more.

No more hospital visits.

No social gatherings.

No jumping on planes for business.

No empty promises around "let's do lunch", that never actually happen.

No false narratives of "we should make time to get together".

All pretty much okay with me.

So you see, there are many positives to what we've all been through.

It's just a matter of how you choose to look at things!

Just Do It.........half right

 “No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.”

Helen Keller

Just Do It!

Great slogan.

I must admit, I am no fan of the company and will go out of my way to not support them in any way.

However, it's still a great slogan.

The only thing missing from it, although implied, are the words "right now".

One would think this would be a given.

Just Do It! would seem to imply that sense of urgency to commitment.

All too often though, I find that this is not the case.

I am no exception to this.

I say I will do something and a day or a week or maybe just a few hours pass and somehow , I never completed what I said I would do.

It's annoying.

Besides, we never know the consequences of not following up immediately.

How might this effect something or someone else?

Who is waiting for you to just do it and how does your neglecting to just do it impact others?

Why not take care or "IT" as soon as you say you will.

Follow up emails.

Returned phone calls.

Dirty clothes on the floor.

It shouldn't matter what the task at hand is.

If you say "I'll Do It" ,"Just Do It!".......now!

Committing to Just Do It should not require a follow up query of when?

It's a pretty simple concept.

It makes everything else so much easier. Getting it off of my plate feels good.

I am sure the person waiting on that fax, email text or phone call appreciates also.

Ignoring the "now" is obnoxiously passive aggressive and often really annoying.

I try hard to be aware of my commitments.

I'm not always perfect, and often have to remind myself....NOW!

Shabbat Shalom

Just that simple

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself!"

William Faulkner

 There are a number of things I thought about writing today.

As I sat down at my computer, I opened the daily Elul message from my Rabbi.

Sometimes it's just as easy as copy and paste!

The Purpose of Life

 

The purpose of life is not to be happy at all.

It is to be useful, to be honorable.

It is to be compassionate.

It is to matter, to have it make some difference that you lived.

 

Leo Rosten

Just that simple!

Have a meaningful day!

Bad Math

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.”

Frank Crane 

Okay, bad math by me!

Going back to yesterday's message, it's only 49 years since I left for college not 50.

I had to clear that up, it was keeping me up at night!

49 years is still a long time!

This morning, while dropping our car off for some repairs, I was standing outside of the mechanics shop.

Our mechanic is located in Fairlawn on Broadway, which is basically an extension of Route 4.

It's a 4 lane highway with a divider that connects Bergen County to Paterson.

Why do I mention these geographic details?

Let me share with you.

While standing outside of the auto repair shop, I heard the unmistakable back beat of rap music blaring from a car across 4 lanes of traffic, sitting at the stop light.

The lyrics ,if you can call theme that, included phrases like Mother F#$Ker this, F#$in' Nigg## that and Suck my D!$k.

Let me be perfectly clear on this.

This is unacceptable.

I don't care what social group you belong to, or what community you were raised in or what your culture finds acceptable.

This is not acceptable under any circumstances anywhere that civilized human beings live.

It's disgusting, abhorrent and beyond unnecessary.

Quite frankly, I'm tired of not speaking out against this.

This along with many other forms of anti- social behavior that have been forced down my throat for the last number of years.

I am also tired of apologizing for living in a community where we value civility and certain normative behavior.

We are a society, a people, with a sense of values, a sense of right and wrong .

And just because you feel entitled, make no mistake.....you're not.

Bad behavior is bad behavior........period.

So learn how to live like normal decent human beings.

Learn to speak properly.

Understand that just because you think it's okay , it may not be so.

And by the way, pull up your pants and put on a shirt!

The Present

“Patience, persistence, and perseverance. A little more each day, a little better each day.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie 

A dear friend made her way back to New jersey this weekend to celebrate her mom's 90th birthday.

She sent me 3 pictures yesterday.

Mom looks great!

Her sons are grown men.

And she said of her own picture "damn we're getting old!".

It got me to thinking.

Next month will be our anniversary.

We met as freshmen in college 50 years ago this September.

50 years!

Hell yeah we got older....it's 50 freakin' years!

50 years of friendship.

That's a long time.

True , there were a couple of decades where we didn't keep in touch.

That was unacceptable to me.

About 15 years ago, I reached out and restoked that friendship.

It was the best gift I could ever have given myself.

Since then we have seen each other a few times.

We speak every once in a while.

We reach out via text, messenger and on Facebook.

The bottom line is we still share in each other's lives.

I was scrolling through my "friends" on Facebook the other day.

I remarked to Susan "I have a lot of dead friends!".

It made me a little sad.

It also made me think.

Saying good bye is not always a possibility.

Life is funny that way.

Saying hello however is always a choice.

Just pick up the phone!

Send a text.

Write a letter.

Send an email.

Make plans for lunch.

Just drop in....announced or not!

I have truly fond memories of each time I have made that phone call, that visit, that outreach.

I remember each and every hello, much more than any good bye.

I look forward to hello.

I cherish them.

I am pretty certain that the feeling is mutual with those I reach out to.

Reaching out.

There is no time like the present.

And there is no better present than that!

Shavua Tov!