Back On Track

 "The heartiest plants survive because they weather the storms and never stop reaching for the light.” 

~ Robert Clancy

10 days ago, I reached the 5 year anniversary of the start of this Journey. 

24 hours later, my world started to fall apart at the seams. 

Within 48 hours life was spinning out of control.

One thing I know about myself is that I hate to be out of control.

It has taken a few days to find firm ground to stand on. 

Happily I can say on this How Am I Doin' Friday that I am back.

Much like when you get the flu , at first I was out of sorts.

Then there was the realization that I was coming down with something. 

Then it hit. 

Before I knew it, I was overwhelmed.

And boy did I feel like crap for a few days!

You wake up  one morning and realize,hmmmmm, I am feeling a little bit better. 

The next day, maybe even a bit stronger. 

Then comes the day when you get out of bed and say whew! Time to get back at it!

A quick glance over my shoulder reminds me of how bad things were for that brief period of time.

 I made some awful choices during that time.

 Nothing that can't be rectified and always a lesson to be learned.

It was more like a no harm no foul call.

With the fever that clouded my thinking and decision making gone as well as the paralysis that accompanied it, I actually find that I am in a much better frame of mind. 

I am making bolder and more assertive decisions and taking actions that compliment them.

Near death experiences can make one appreciate all that one has. 

While I was no where near dying, the analogy is the same. 

I have said it before and I will repeat it once more. 

I am in control of my own destiny.

I make the choices!

I make the decisions.

I am responsible for the actions (and in actions) in my life.

What's done is done.

All wounds heal.

Scabs and scars serve as reminders  of the pains and wounds we encounter. 

They need not be life altering. 

There is no shame associated with them. 

I wear them proudly. 

They remind me of what I have overcome and moved beyond.

What's the old adage? 

No pain, no gain?

Pain is and always will be inevitable.

Suffering is a choice and one that I refuse to live with.

 Shabbat Shalom!