Goal #4

On our weekly drive to South Jersey,I had some quiet time for reflecting. My thoughts returned to my top 5 goals for 2017.Actually my thoughts had little to do with my goals. My thoughts in fact were around the idea that I have to start putting my priorities first,above any one else's. It's a concept that is very foreign to me. It is a concept that I am uncomfortable with.It is something I have rarely done in the past and quite frankly have always viewed as self serving and selfish.
The idea that using my limited resources on only those things that move me forward seems absolutely absurd to me.
Yet, as I look around me,it seems to work well for others. The principal of take care of your self and that rising tide will eventually lift others is a challenge to the way I have led my life.
I do for others.
I care about others.
I think of others not just before I think of myself but instead of thinking about myself.
This must stop!
It has not served me well for 62 years.
It has not brought me fame or fortune.
It has not put food on my family's table, a roof over our head or money in the bank.
It is time I pull back.
It is time to say no. It is time to not raise my hand and volunteer. 
It is time for me to turn away from things that do not ultimately serve to benefit me.
My resources are few and too valuable.
It sounds terrible I know. 
The truth is I have abdicated my responsibility to myself in the belief that doing for others would some how pay dividends which would in turn take care of me.
That just has not panned out.
As my dear departed friend would reprimand me "stop being a dreamer!"
Those who have learned to depend on me either take it as the new normal or even worse have grown accustomed to letting me shoulder the responsibility.
In the meantime, while doing for others, I spent those energies that could have and should have been used to grow my own skill sets and abilities.
A week at a trade show with no support left me staring at this abyss and to be honest, it was not a nurturing experience.
 It was however an awakening.
When I am dead and buried, all of those I leave behind will move on.They may miss me for a while, but life will go on.
So I have to get over myself and understand that I must learn to do for myself. I must learn to take care of myself. And I must learn to think of myself.....first!
That is goal #4 !
Before acting on anything ask the question"how does this benefit David?"
I am sure, more often than not, even when it benefits David, others will benefit as well. 
David MUST be part of the equation moving forward.
For way too long, David was not even considered in that equation.
This must change!
Shavua Tov!