The Plan

 The plan was to start another 40 day cycle the Monday after Passover ended.
40 days and I would be at a comfortable enough weight when it came time to shed the hoodies and vest I have been wearing all Winter and don the more appropriate (and much more unforgiving!) clothes of Spring.
Golf shirts, jogging suits, jeans and shorts certainly require a slimmer sleeker body.
During Passover which just happened to coincide with the reset phase of my last cycle, I put on a few more pounds than I wanted to.
Okay a few is being kind.
 I watched as the pounds just kept coming and coming and coming.
I wasn't thrilled over this but I did know that I would be jumping right back in and that this next cycle would at the very least bring me to an "acceptable" weight.
(Note acceptable, not ideal!)
As the holiday drew near to its close,Susan and I received an invitation to a wedding in mid May.
Now that presents a whole new ball of wax.
An acceptable weight for shorts and t-shirts is completely different than what is necessary to look great in my white jacket!
To make matters worse, the wedding falls on what will be day 35 of this 40 day cycle.
If you add the 2 days of reset that's a whole week of weight loss cut off from the back end of the program.
Now the pressure is on.
A friend said"no big deal, you can just go buy a new suit. You'll look fine"
Really!
No way!
Uh Uh!
Now I NEED to get into that outfit!
So much for The Plan!
Just before the Spring Holidays began, my brother posted on the Why Weight Facebook page that the holidays aren't about eating.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I have used that line with clients.
"Food is not that important".
"Socialize, dance, make conversation."
"The buffet table is for those who are weak".
"Food is only for sustenance!"
Yeah, and sex is just for procreation!
Lets face it ,we all enjoy celebrating with food. 
Much like the fore mentioned deal with procreation, sometimes we indulge to have fun. It feels good. 
We enjoy it.
Luckily I am less concerned with what I can eat at this wedding than I am with what I will wear.
This will be a challenge. 
So much for planning!

What a week!
Yes, it's been an entire week since I have found (read taken) the time to write to you.
Where have I been and what have I been up to?
Don't ask!
Between the back , and work and one absolutely hellacious computer crash, the week just completely disappeared.
Honestly, other than the computer crash, I can't even remember what kept me so busy.
All of that is in the past. I'm back now and ready to carry on!
One of the "things" that didn't get done this week was cleaning up my yard.
I had planned to use Friday as my day for attacking the yard. 
My plan was to get up early, hire 2 day laborers and starting at the street,work my way to the back property line. 
Never happened!
Mother Nature was not going to cooperate with me.
First there was a snow storm (oh yeah ...I forgot about that!).
Then rain. 
Then some more rain.
Before attempting to rake up the yard, it really needs to dry out and firm up a bit.
Having to cancel my plans was causing me some angst. 
That is until this morning .
 As I drove along my bus route today, I noticed that other than the forsythia and a couple of other early bloomers, there are very few signs of Spring. 
There aren't even buds on the trees yet.
So why am I rushing it?
There's plenty of time until Spring springs.
My new plan is to use next Saturday as that clean up day.
It will be my only day off for the next 2 weeks.
I checked the weather forecast and it seems like we will have a dry week through Saturday.
The next rain looks like it comes in on the following Sunday and Monday.
What's the old expression"Mother knows Best!".
It seems that the mother they are referring to is Mother Nature herself!
Who am I to argue with that?
Shavua Tov!

April Word of the Month!

While participating in the Seder the other night , we got side tracked (what a surprise!) in yet  another energetic discussion.
During the reading we came upon the word "observe".
It became obvious to me that this should be my 
April Word of the Month:
OBSERVE

verb

1. 1.
   notice or perceive (something) and register it as being significant.
2. 2.
   fulfill or comply with (a social, legal, ethical, or religious obligation).

As you can see there are 2 distinct and completely different uses of this word.
In our discussion over the word OBSERVE, even though the context in which we read it clearly pointed to the 2nd use, when the guests at our table were asked what the word meant every person's first response was the earlier use.
Interesting!
Am I an observant person or an observant person?
Do I simply watch and view ((observe) life  or do I participate in it fully?
Do I observe the laws,customs and traditions associated with Passover or do Iobserve?Am I observant of my religion or am I observant in it?
Can I be both?
I am not sure that the 2 uses are necessarily connected.
Each stands alone. I can perceive something as significant and leave it at that. I can participate in something fully even when it is not significant or I have not perceived it as important.
There is the little matter we call choice. 
I can observe a thing to be significant and choose to observe the actions that surround it.
Clearly the word significant is significant here!
To OBSERVE is a choice.
When I observe that choice becomes mine
Chew that over for a while . 
I have been for a few days and it's starting to hurt my brain!

Counting the Omer

Last night was the second Seder . It is also the night that we (you know the"Chosen People") begin counting the Omer. What is the Omer you may ask.
Wikipedia tells us:

 "The Omer.... is an important verbal counting of each of the forty-nine days between the Jewish holidays of Passover and Shavuot ....

This mitzvah ("commandment") derives from the Torah commandment to count forty-nine days beginning from the day on which the Omer, a sacrifice containing an omer-measure of barley, was offered in the Temple in Jerusalem, up until the day before an offering of wheat was brought to the Temple on Shavuot. The Counting of the Omer begins on the second day of Passover.... and ends the day before the holiday of Shavuot, the 'fiftieth day.'

The idea of counting each day represents spiritual preparation and anticipation for the giving of the Torah[1] which was given by God on Mount Sinai at the beginning of the month of Sivan, around the same time as the holiday of Shavuot. The Sefer HaChinuch (published anonymously in 13th-century Spain) states that the Hebrew people were only freed from Egypt at Passover in order to receive the Torah at Sinai, an event which is now celebrated on Shavuot, and to fulfill its laws. Thus the Counting of the Omer demonstrates how much a Hebrew desires to accept the Torah in his own life."

I personally have never made the commitment to count the Omer.
In the year following my mother's death I counted the Omer basically because I was in shul every day.
So naturally every evening when we said the prayers associated with this ritual I was aware of it.
When I saw an email this morning from Rabbi Levy launching her observance of the counting , I decided to make the commitment this year.
Not at my synagogue where for me it's just a bunch of Hebrew words that I don't understand, but in my daily gift to myself.
I have also decided to offer to share it with you.
Rabbi Yael (Levy) breaks the 49 days down into 7 weeks, each with a specific point of attention.
Each Saturday night for the next 7 weeks, I will share her weekly area of contemplation with you. 
Each evening, I will share her thoughts connected to the weeks message as well. 
I enjoy when I have a "challenge" dedicated to a specific period of time like the cycles of our weight loss program.
40 days and move on.
Here's an opportunity for 49 days to work on me once again,spiritually.
Personal growth is always a good thing!
Follow along if you choose to. 
Hit delete if you want.
I enjoy a challenge.
How about you?

Shavua Tov!

Get A Job (or not?)

My brother called me the other morning . 
It was more than just a check in type of call.
He said he had been thinking about me for days and wanted to share his thoughts .
It occurred to him that for basically my entire adult life, I never took a job.
You know what I mean.
The 9-5,commute to work, hate what your doing,sit behind a desk with your boss constantly on top of you and other co workers stepping on or using you job.
Through it all, Susan had the opportunity to choose when she wanted to work or not work.
Not that it was always easy.
 Not that there were not more than our fair share of challenges , even struggles.
Still here we are !
We made it this far and there is no reason to think we can't and won't continue to keep moving forward.
It seemed impressive in its own way to him.
I had never quite thought about this
.Now that he mentioned it, I can see his point.
It is and has been a rare type of Journey from that aspect I suppose.
Not that there haven't been challenges along the way. 
Not that there hasn't been a price paid for the choices I've made.
 There is always a price.
Nothing in life is free.
What there isn't is regrets.
There have been very few occasions where I found myself staring back at the roads not traveled and feeling bad about my choices.
That's not to say that I have never taken a glance.back or caught myself  in the occasional if only moment.We all do it.
We all have them. 
That "imagine if only" thought.
If any one says they NEVER do that they are just not being honest.
 They may be brief.
 They may be few and far between.
 They do happen to all of us.Dwelling on them is what kills the spirit.
I kind of treat those thoughts like old girlfriends.
 Fond memories , a little smile and then a quick about face as I head forward once again.
Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameyach
 (Which ever Chag you may happen to celebrate!)

What's Different?

This morning as Susan and I went about our daily rituals that start each day, I mentioned that I was feeling out of sorts,off my game if you would.
I couldn't put my finger on any one specific thing that I could attribute this to. 
I only knew that something was off kilter.
Something was different.
But what?
I have been preparing my home for Passover every year for as long as I can remember.
It has been well over 25 years since my Mom relinquished hosting the Seders and we moved them to my house.
By now, all of this should be second nature to me. 
Yet here I am feeling as if I am shooting at a target with a blindfold on.
Odds of hitting the bulls-eye are not very good.
What is so different?
Well, for starters, the whole back issue does add a certain level of discomfort to the process (discomfort on many levels).
Things that I would and could just DO in the past are challenging if not unattainable.
There is that element however,there's something more to this feeling.
As I finished up my morning routine and started to head out the door, it dawned on me that there are pieces of the Passover puzzle that are missing for me and these are probably the biggest part of my malaise. 
My friend Harriet has been gone for a few years now. 
With less than 36 hours to go ,in years past, we would have checked in with each other at least a half a dozen times by now.
We would have compared notes on menus, shopping lists, recipes and the general state of affairs as to where we were in the process of preparation.
My friend Alan has traditionally been another touchstone for me as we both raced to get every thing done in anticipation of the start of the Seder.
He is not hosting a Seder this year so his pre-Passover experience is not the same.
I haven't heard from my friend Neil , Harriet's son, who always checks in to see how things are progressing.
And then there's the no Becky thing again.
In years gone by, as I made myself crazy getting ready for the holiday, there was Becky holding down the fort in the office so that nothing fell through the cracks from the business side of things.
The girls have moved out.
Max is busy at work.
Susan is at the shop.
Even I have my bus driving job.
 David with a JOB.
Now that's certainly different.
No wonder things feel out of different.
They are different.The only thing that is the same and that will be the same is that by 7:47 tomorrow evening we will gather around the table and the Seder will begin.
I guess it's only different the first time around and then it becomes the new normal!

And then it becomes a tradition.

Good Question!

Following up on my email the other day about Spring Cleaning, my friend Marge sent me  a note and wanted to know why we change all the dishes and stuff.
My response was "great question......why Do I change all my dishes and stuff!"
Trust me, every year I must ask myself that same question 100 times!
Luckily for me The Universe was paying attention and reminded me of exactly why I choose to prepare for Passover the way I do.
The very next email I received after reading the one Marge sent was a notice from Facebook that my Cousin Mark had posted a picture that I was tagged in.
Curious, I had to check it out.
Passover Circa 1957!
The cute kid with the white socks is yours truly!
I'm sitting on my Zaydie's (Grandfather)lap and Cousin Mark is on Bubbie's (Grandmother)lap .
The other 2 young men are my cousins Larry and Marty from right to left..
My Bubbie prepared for  Passover this way.
So did my Mom. 
And now so do I.
There are even dishes and pots that we use that have been handed down from that Seder pictured above.
Mu Grandparent's were immigrants. 
I can only assume that the way they prepared was the same as how their parents and family prepared.
What we do and how we do it is interesting. 
The Seder is over 3000 years old.
The Hagadah, the book that we use to retell the story of the exodus from Egypt, dates back to the destruction of the Second Temple,almost 2000 years ago.
There are traditions tied to these times as well as many that have been added along the way.
While I can explain why I or should I say we do what we do based on my knowledge of Jewish laws and practices,the simplest answer is it is because this is how we , my family, has always done it. It's our tradition. 
And if you know anything about my people,it's all about our traditions.
(Maybe I should write a musical about this?)
I no longer get to celebrate Passover with any one in that picture. I hope that those of us still here on Earth, feel that tug at our souls when this holiday approaches. 
It's rooted deep in our past. 
3000 years is deep.
It's all about our traditions.
"Tradition."
"Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as... as a fiddler on the roof!"