Turn up the music......

I had some time to kill before setting out on my morning run today. While sitting in the bus, I was fiddling with the radio when I cam across a local college radio station.
The music they were playing was fun and uplifting so I decided to leave it on as I went about picking up my passengers.
Normally I drive in silence, concentrating on the task at hand.
The addition of music to the trip seemed to lift everyone's spirits on the bus.The whole experience served as a reminder to me as to just how integral a part of my life music is.
Each song seemed to carry me to another place and often another time.I could see that it had a similar effect on those around me.It's almost as if these melodies are the background orchestration to the movie of my life.
Unlike anything else, music seems to set the tone and color of my world.
Like exercise and eating healthy, I often forget how important the addition f music is to my life.
It elicits happy memories,it energizes me as I go about my daily routine and it reminds me of memories, some happy some sad, that made me the person I am today. I hear a song, my mind sees a face. A tune comes up and I am transported to some time in my past when I also heard that song.
The more I listen, the more vibrant my memories become and the more engaged I am.
Every now and then I find myself turning up the volume , making it easier for the music to become part of me. 
Eventually I find myself humming along or even singing some of the words. Before long, that certain song that really hits home comes on and I am crooning at the top of my lungs without a care in the world as to who may be listening.
Music is an amazing wand wonderful part of my world. It seems silly how often I go without it. 
Tonight Susan and I will drive out to Scranton PA to hear the debut of an orchestral arrangement composed by a friend of mine. He originally wrote the piece for trumpet and piano to perform at his senior recital some 41 years ago.
Tonight, over 4 decades later, his dream of turning it into a full orchestration will come to life. I was honored to be there 41 years ago and I am ecstatic to have the opportunity to be there tonight.
Something about the music......
It just makes life better!
Shabbat Shalom!

There are times I forget just how far I have come on my Journey.What is now my new normal is the way I am.
A customer challenged me in an email yesterday, grousing and complaining about this that and the other thing.
I waited 24 hours before responding , and in a very carefully and thought out manner ,I tried as best as I could to answer his remarks in a positive , compassionate and understanding way. Minutes later, he shot back with yet another assault and more reasons why I was misguided.
It was then that it dawned on me that no matter what I did or said,he was going to be angry at the World. The World was conspiring against him.
Manufacturers,not just mine, but everyone he deals with, doesn't understand how hard it is for him to compete in today's retail environment.
There is no way for the little guy to compete in today's market.
The playing field is uneven and he is surely getting the short end of things.
My customer is completely immersed in victim mode.
I can remember what life was like when I dwelled in that cursed house.
Woe is me was my theme song.
In my eyes, no one could imagine the crosses I had to bare and the weight of the load I had to shoulder.
Of course life was unfair, particularly towards me.
All of these iniquities gave me permission to fail.
I didn't stand a chance.
I could never win.
Life was stacked against me.
Like I said,it has been a long long Journey. It is a Journey that continues daily.
That victim thing..... it's a road I run away from never mind shy away from.
It is a horrible place to be.
As for my customer, well, I'll send him another offer at another time. 
Until then, all I can do is move on and onward.

I have been on a roll all day,handling one thing after another.It's just about 4pm and before jumping into something new, I decided to gift myself with some me time! Actually it is some me and you time.
The Universe opened a door of opportunity for me which has allowed me to move through my day and even the next few days without encountering some of the challenges that had been looming in my immediate future.
In turn, I was able to take on some priorities that until today had been either placed on the back burner or in some cases completely ignored.
Without getting too far ahead of myself, I made some choices,incremental choices at best, that can be nurtured and followed up on.
These are not necessarily 1+1=2 types of equations. They are a step forward.
We all know you can not get to step 2 without completing step 1. 
It is a fact. 
If you skip or overlook a step in the process, you are destined to starting over, retracing your steps or even failure.
What may seem or feel like an insignificant item on the long laundry list of life, is there for a reason.
I am feeling pretty good about the choices and decisions I made today. So good that I am considering walking away from my desk for the day. 
Tomorrow is another opportunity. So far today has gone into the win column.
I have never been one to be "satisfied" with what I have accomplished.
Maybe I should try it out?
When G-d created the Earth in 7 days, each of them had an end. And at the end of each of those days he looked about and saw what he created.....and he observed that it was good!
Today was good!

Pass me the rock.....

I have a different view of life today,after writing last Friday that I was not feeling great.I had been observing others around me and trying to compare my life to their lives. That will never be productive. In a note from The Universe early last week, I was reminded that if I were to walk in another man's shoes, I would never be able to comprehend the view.
This week the college basketball season will come to an end. After the rigors of a long season, a new NCAA champion will be crowned. It's a big deal for those who follow basketball.
At one time in my life, I loved playing basketball. Seriously, it was my favorite sport to play. I know, you are probably having a tough tie wrapping your head around the vision of a 5'10, 250 Jewish white boy being a hoops fanatic. It is the truth.
I loved playing the game. I am not here to tell you that I was an all-star. Forget any images of me soaring to the hoop. t never happened. Nor can I tell you that I had a dagger for a jump shot . AT best when I was having a good day, I could drain a few from deep in the left corner .
Still I loved to play the game.
Surprisingly, when I had the opportunity to get on the court,the playing field always seemed to level out. I certainly won many more games than I lost.
You may ask how could that possibly be?
Well it's because I worked hard at it. My defense was not tenacious but it was solid.My hands were always up and I was rarely out of position.Occasionally,if my opponent was careless, my hands were active enough to strip him of the ball and often, I would block a shot, not because of my leaping ability but because of my timing and positioning.
The one thing I did as well as anyone on a court is never quit.
I never dogged it. I never didn't get back on defense. I never didn't fight for positioning for a rebound and I certainly always busted my butt to get back up court on offense. 
There was also the occasional devastating pick.
(There' nothing like seeing some hot shot sitting on the floor wondering how he got there!)
I loved playing the game and when I had the opportunity to get into a game,I always played above my perceived ability.
The trick for me was to get in the game.
Same goes for my life.
I know I am not the most gifted.
I am not the fastest, the smartest, the most skilled or the most talented.
What I am is as hard a worker as you will ever meet .
I have an unbelievable grasp of how to play the game,the fundamentals and more important than anything else, I will never quit!
Check!

When I got back from the gym this morning I turned the coffee pot back on and sat down at my computer hoping to take advantage of the quiet time before my Sunday began. Today would be a perfect day for us to hang around the house. There is ,as always, cleaning to be done ,and I could use a few hours at my desk to clean up the current project I am working on.A day like that would really help to set the foundation for the upcoming week. 
As I started to write,I hear a rustling in the kitchen. I looked up to see that Susan was already showered and dressed and ready to get our Sunday under way, which means,getting our butts in gear and heading out to South Jersey. 
Oh well, so much for a productive quiet day at home!
Not that this was not the plan for the day all along. 
I had just gotten myself caught up in the "wouldn't it be nice" alternate reality that exists.
Yes, it does exist. I do, we do, have choices.
And we choose to do our part by driving down to visit with her parents on Sundays.
It is not always convenient. We find ourselves working around their not our schedule. 
Lunch at the facility is at noon and lasts about an hour. There is no sense in our getting there before lunch,so working backward, from the end of lunch, the ideal time to leave North Jersey  is 11 am. 
I get back from my workout at 8:30. 
Do the math. There are 2 1/2 hours in between my return and our departure. 
Writing takes me about an hour. 
Having just come back from the gym, a shower is in order.
Grabbing a cup of coffee,I am dressed and ready by say 10.
Now we have 1 hour until we hit the road .The next 8 hours are consumed by our visit and the travel time back and forth. Preparing and eating dinner and before you know it ,it's well after 8 pm and Sunday has vanished. I am not a big fan of starting new projects at 8 o'clock at night.
It's all about me management. (Note I did not say time management). Time as we know is constant. I am the one that must make adjustments. 
I am sure that once the weather breaks, Sunday mornings will include cutting the grass and cleaning up the yard. 
My use of the free time I have will be much more productive. In the meantime, I will continue to tread water until I figure it out and make the adjustments that will help me feel less frustrated by my inability to use this valuable resource ,time, effectively and efficiently.
For now, I'm going to go grab that cup of coffee, take a shower, get dressed including making sure that I put on my happy face !
Shavua Tov!

Not feeling great......

This morning as I was getting dressed I realized that it was yet another "how am I doin' Friday" and all I could think of was"not great!"
This bothered me as obviously I just walked right through the front door of that cursed house of comparison.
When I say not great, I am not speaking of health issues. Other than my foot which is still a challenge, I feel fine.
I am speaking of the more general state of my being.
And it felt not great this morning. 
Everything in my life is okay. 
Everything in my life is just fine.
Everything in my life is good.
Nothing in my life feels great!
That may sound a bit confusing or even petty on my part. 
That is the cursed house I have walked into.
I am watching as many around me who I work with or interact with are experiencing great and instead of appreciating all that is good in my life, I am trying to find great.
It is foolish on my part.
Entering this cursed house is not a smart plan.
Yet I can't seem to stop myself!
I want the excitement of great.
I want the challenge of great.
I thrive under the struggle and effort it takes to have great.
And the best I seem to be able to muster is okay....good....fine.
I remember in my younger days talking to a female friend after a "hot" first date.
She described the kiss good night as okay.
I remember her commenting that if the first kiss was "okay" there probably was not much hope for what the next one would be like!
I guess I am being a bit near sighted.
Pleasant is ....pleasant.
Nice is ....nice.
Good should be good enough!
Still all I can seem to think about is that I am not experiencing great!
And I am so wrong when I do that.
Tonight we will have our weekly Shabbat dinner.
Once again, there will as always be a couple of chickens accompanied by a number of side dishes.
We will do as we do every week,. We will make kiddush over the wine and say hamotzi over the bread. The dogs will get their little treat of challah and we , the entire family will enjoy another Friday night meal together. It's very nice.
Or is it?
You did hear me say that we do this every single week. Not once in awhile. Not now and again.Not when we have the opportunity. We do this every Friday night and have done this every Friday night since Sara was about 3, some 26 years ago.
If that doesn't constitute great, then maybe I need to take a good hard look at what is really important in life!
Shabbat Shalom!

Is Silence really golden?

We all grew up hearing that Silence is golden.I know I certainly heard it over and over again. I also heard "no news is good news". Well I have to tell you, I am not sure that either of these old adages is completely true. In fact, in my experience, they are true at best about 50% of the time.
There are times when silence is in fact a wonderful thing. The quiet time in between the often chaotic times can be a blessing. That is for a while.It has been my experience, that when things get too quiet,something has gone amiss.
There are time when the much appreciated quiet of down time, becomes a silence which creates a void or a vacuum. It is in this empty space where things often go awry.
The silence becomes deafening!
When we were kids ,we would often play in the basement. I am sure my parents appreciated the quiet time, but every once in awhile they would make sure to check in with us. When things would get too quiet, you can pretty much bet they knew we were up to something no good!
The same can be said about many if not all of my relationships today.
Whether with friends, family, colleagues, vendors,customers or any other associations, the quiet times have at best a 50/50 chance of being golden. All too often silence makes me suspicious.That may sound cynical, however my history shows that it is true.
No news is good news!
Uhhh....not always!
Sometimes no news is just that.....no news. Rarely is no news good news.
Do you know what is good news?
Good news!
This is why I like communicating.
I like to check in with people on a regular basis. The void created when I do not check in is , in my history, all too often the Devil's playground!
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder....or the relationship grow deeper. Absence creates opportunities for bad things to happen.
Silence is golden....no news is good news...well, not in my book.
In my world,I take care of business.
I leave little to chance. 
I tend to my garden.
When I don't, trust me , more than just weeds are bound to appear!