Civics & Civility

“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”

Og Mandino

50 years ago, the high school I attended did away with a course called civics.

Civics was a social studies course that taught the basics of what every citizen of this country should know. Civics is the study of citizenship and government. This course provides students with a basic understanding of civic life, politics, and government, and a short history of government's foundation and development in this country.

I imagine in those turbulent times of change,some genius thought it made sense to do away with civics for a more relevant course of study.

Dumb idea!

I see the results of this decision daily. I am amazed at just how uninformed and ill informed the generations that were to follow this choice to do away with civics are when it comes to the basics of our democracy.

It's a course that should not only be brought back,it should be mandatory for graduation!

And while they are at it,while we are "re-thinking" how to educate our youth post covid,how about adding a course called civility-a study in common decency.

Wouldn't that be a breath of fresh air!

Add an english course that teaches basic grammar and sentence structure as well!

Wouldn't that make for a more civilized way of life.

Somehow we have lost our way.

I for one, am deeply saddened by this.

I saw it coming quite some time ago.

I recall saying to a friend many years ago that I wanted to write a book called Goodness Gracious....how to live a gracious life through gratitude.

Imagine a world in which all lives matter as well as how you live that life.

What a concept!

No haircut yet

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

This morning I texted my barber to see if he has reopened.

He got right back to me and said yes,however no beards.

I opted to wait until facial hair cutting becomes socially acceptable again.

I was hoping to get "cleaned up " a bit.

Maybe he could get me from the homeless look I am sporting to something more akin to biblical sage.

Just a haircut won't do so it seems homeless continues.

I could easily fit in on the streets of San Francisco or any other major city where unkempt is the rule du jour.

Then again, I ain't goin' nowhere special so what do I care how I look.

I wasn't bothered by any of this.

It was a simple enough request,accompanied by a simple enough answer followed by an appropriate response.

No one got hysterical because I choose to limit my mask wearing. I didn't blow a gasket because my constitutional right to get my beard cut was being violated (I'm not sure which amendment addresses haircuts but I am sure it's in there").

Which makes me that much more upset when I listen to on radio or see on Facebook,the outrageously out of control nonsense and discourse between maskies and non-maskies.

It's truly nauseating.

And unfortunately, unless I completely disconnect from others,I am afraid that I will continue to be pummeled by this great debate.

To mask or not to mask?

Should this be the question?

The beginning of the end of Summer

“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.”

Kevin Arnold

I know it sounds dumb, but I have always seen the 4th of July as the beginning of the end of summer.

Way back in early June,right after Memorial Day, my thoughts always turned towards the upcoming Summer season.

The anticipation of what lay ahead was always exciting.

Well almost always exciting.

There was also a fair amount of uncertainty that accompanied the new season.

When I was younger, it was the disconnect from any relationships that had been fostered during the school year.

Summer went everyone went there own way and by September,well,things would be different.

For me,this anxiety started in grade school and continued pretty much through college graduation.

The biggest difference was the distance.

Instead of my grade school friends heading back to their own neighborhoods,by college,it was the distance between exits on the GSP or Turnpike.

I suppose that was a moribund view of life.

Hey, I never claimed to be Mr. Happy!

I do have many great 4th of July memories.

Susan and I got engaged on the 4th of July.

There was always marching in the 4th of July parade.

More recently, it was the 4th of July BBQ at the JCCP that was the highlight for me.

And of course there were fireworks.

Paramus always had a great display when I was a kid.

First at the High School which was across town,and later on at the Jr. High School behind my house.

There was a brief period when the town canceled any fireworks,however a few years ago, they re- instituted this gala event and when they did so it was even bigger and better than ever.

I also remember a year,1976 to be exact, playing a concert in South Jersey with the big band from my fraternity.

It was a crazy day,for me anyway.

I often wonder if any of those guys remember the events of the day?

I certainly do. Right down to my white pants and flowered Hawaiian shirt.(Think of the original Magnum P.I. look!).

I guess if I think about it, the 4th of July has been a whole lot more to me than just the beginning of the end of Summer.

Still, there is this haunting hurt that I can't seem to let go of.

WHy did I say anything?

“We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.”

Edward R. Murrow

Remember the other day when I happened to mention something about a nest egg?

Why did I open my big mouth?

That egg just got a big crack in it.

Max took my Jeep to pick up some essentials for the holiday weekend.

A short while later,here comes the S.O.S. call.

"Your car started making the clanging noise and began bucking like crazy...."

Bottom line?

Blown engine!

Option 1: used engine....no guarantees and about $4000.

Option 2: rebuilt engine.......about $6000 on a car that is 18 years old and probably has some other surprises in store for me based on the whining noise in the rear and just because it's 18 years old.

I'll take what behind the curtain Johnie!

Time to get a new vehicle.

Well not new new. New would mean a) a deposit,b) monthly payments and c) a significant hike in my insurance.

I'm just not ready for that yet and given the limited usage we are and have been experiencing since the beginning of the quarantine, something used and dependable sounds like the way to go.

But seriously,did I have to say anything about a nest egg?

The good news is I have an affordable budget in mind that won't wipe out the "nest egg" and should allow me to find something that will suit our current needs.

In fact, I was supposed to go look at a vehicle today. It's been put off until Monday.

There is no rush.

I am not under any pressure to buy just anything and I am certain something will pop up.

Me and my big mouth!

Jeepers!

Shavua Tov!

Who me?

“Just smiling goes a long way toward making you feel better about life. And when you feel better about life, your life is better.”

Art Linkletter

I called a friend yesterday and the minute he heard my voice he responded with "Hello Mr. Angry Guy.....how are you?"

I said great to which he replied "really .....you're always sounding angry about wearing masks and everything:.

Who me?

Okay, maybe just a bit.

But seriously, I really normally am not an angry guy.

I suppose I could make a list of stuff that makes me angry.

It wouldn't be that hard and it really wouldn't be that long of a list.

In fact, if I could remember to not listen to the news, not pick up a newspaper and certainly stay away from unsocial media ((that one is mine.....unsocial media) I would never be angry.

Oh sure I might get mad from time to time.

Mad is different than angry.

Mad I get over.

Angry not so easily.

Coincidentally my very next phone call was to a friend who asked"did I see a picture of you looking like a hermit?"

Well yes you did!

Now if I could just remember to live like one,the angry part would probably never be an issue!

We are not always happy. It is , as I said yesterday a choice. One that I make multiple times a day every day.

In the same way, I have buttons .

Buttons that when they are pushed make me angry.

They don't get pushed intentionally. It happens. Kind of like the dog stepping on the remote. He didn't mean to change the channel.

It just happens.

How I respond to these pushed buttons is the only thing I control.

Spewing my anger in my writing is a huge help.

It allows me to vent before anger becomes rage.

That is one way I lose the angry.

BTW....where angry exists happy can not!

Shabbat Shalom!

P.T.F.S.D.

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive -to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

Marcus Aurelius

When I woke up on Monday morning, I was not in a very good mood.I wasn't sad,or angry. I just had this heavy feeling that I could not shake.

Since happy is a choice we get to make on a daily basis,it should have been easy for me to turn my day around.Unfortunately,that wasn't as easy as it sounds for me.

In fact, although my mood improved gradually over the next few hours, it took me until today to understand what was troubling me.

I think I suffer from P.T.F.S.D.

That would be Post Traumatic Financial Stress Disorder.

After restructuring my debt earlier this year, I can unequivocally say that I am in a better financial situation than I have been in almost 4 decades .

The bills are being paid even at a time when I am on half pay.

There is money left at the end of the month.There are even funds in savings for a rainy day (even more than 1 !).

So where was this stress coming from?

It is a byproduct of years and years of living in lack.

Literally my entire professional career trying to catch up and wondering what would bite me in the butt next.

Dolly was scheduled for surgery that day.

Insurance will eventually reimburse us for the bulk of this expense.

The 6 month interest free easy payment credit cards we use for vet bills are clean so covering the expense would be no problem.

Still the overwhelming dread which comes with carrying an insurmountable debt level for so many years was weighing heavily on my subconscious mind.

I have been vigilant in staying on top of my spending since the restructure.

Do I need this always supersedes do I want this.

The comeback has taken way too long,taken way too much work and left me with way too many sleepless nights to ever fall behind again.

P.T.F.S.D. is a very real thing for me.

Recognizing that I live with it is a huge help .

Deep breath!

The Saga Continues

“Look at the sparrows; they do not know what they will do in the next moment. Let us literally live from moment to moment.”

 Mahatma Gandhi 

Last night at around 9,Dolly decided that she had had enough for one day.

Quietly she made her way to my makeshift mattress and proceeded to claim it as hers.

Not wanting to disturb her, when it came time for me to go to bed, I found myself relegated to our recliner.Not ideal but for one night no big thing.

Around midnight , I finally drifted off only to be awakened about an hour later.

The cats (yes.....another new blessing!) had honed in on a field mouse which had made its way into the baseboard near Luna's cage (Luna is our African Grey).

As they crashed into the wall,trying to catch the mouse,the bird started screaming ,causing Dolly to scramble to her feet as best as she could.

This was the beginning of about 4 hours of chaos. Dolly couldn't get comfortable and only wanted to be in the bedroom,the one room which is completely off limits to her for the next 6 weeks.

The cats, continued to be frustrated in their quest to capture the mouse. This did not however stop them from terrorizing Phillip,the canary or Moonshine and fig ,the guinea pigs.

Needless to say.last night could not be classified as a good night's sleep.

Susan came out at around 4 and tried to get Dolly to pee to no avail.

Eventually,everything calmed down and sometime after 5 I was able to once again fall asleep,until Phillip started clambering when one of the cats decided to perch himself on top of the birdcage. That was at about 6:20 which abruptly ended my sleep and marked the start of my Wednesday.

I have a funny feeling that this is going to be a very long 6 weeks!