I meant what I said

 Make no mistake.When I sent out my Goodbye email in late August,I meant it.

I was done.

At the time, I didn't quite realize what it was that I was done with or what it was that I was saying goodbye to.

It didn't take me very long at all to understand that I wasn't done with writing and I certainly was not willing to say goodbye to you.

So the question became what relationship was ending?

What would no longer be a part of my life?

It has taken me awhile to figure out the answer to this.

Like the Titanic, I eventually smacked into that iceberg.

I was done being that angry guy.

He had to go.

There are a number of ways to put out a fire.

You can drench it with water.

You can take away the fuel.

Or you can take away the oxygen.

When I walked away from writing, I was taking away the oxygen.

The anger could no longer breathe.

I don't have the resources to douse the issues that are the fire.

I can't stop the hysteria that is fueling the issues that feed the fire.

I had to choke it out of my life.

No oxygen,no fire!

Unfortunately without oxygen, I too would perish. The idea of not writing was not an acceptable solution.

I decided to keep writing, just not offer out for consumption. I decided to write "The Book". I could keep breathing(writing) by using my own version of an oxygen mask.

While it seemed to be a solution, it was not a realistic one for me. Like an oxygen tank, writing just to myself was a bit cumbersome and very isolating.

I quickly understood that this could only be a temporary fix and that eventually I wanted to breathe freely, without the aid of a self contained contraption.

I determined that I would finish the book, gift it to you in an e-book, and then reconnect with you in the way I have for the last 7 years.

It was a good plan, just not a realistic one for me.

The reality is,writing a book is not an inexpensive proposition.

While I could have continued pressing forward with the book plan, the resources just are not available to me right now.

I needed y oxygen and I really needed to breathe fresh air once again.

Hence (yes I used hence!) here we are.

Is the angry man gone?

Yes.

Do I still get angry?

Absolutely!

I remember back to my network marketing training.One of my mentors,and forgive me because I just can't remember who, used to say that it wasn't that he no longer got mad, it was that he now was better at letting that nager go. Instead of staying angry for a week or a day or a few hours, he had learned to feel the anger and then let go of it in minutes, even seconds.

It made all the difference.

So yes, I still get angry,alot!

And then it's time to move on.

And I really mean that!