Am I one of "those" people?

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;”

(From JRR Tolkien’s “The Fellowship of the Ring”)

Since graduating from college and entering the workforce,I have rarely been in the position I found myself this week. Being the"boss", scheduling how and when I worked was alwayson me.If I had to make a doctor's appointment, I would clear an appropriate time and that would be that.If I needed to be somewhere, I could always rework my schedule and make those arrangements. My time,as well as my schedule was mine to make and keep.

This week, I found myself at odds with that which had never been an issue for me in the past.A dear friend's dad passed away. Of course I wanted to attend the funeral. This had never been a problem for me before. I would simply adjust my schedule, make sure everything was covered and go.

Unfortunately, that's not what happened for me this time.By the time I knew when the funeral would be,I had less than 24 hours to find someone to cover for me at work. When I became a full time employee and now had a paid vacation, I knew that a situation like this would arise. We don't have anyone to do my job.Given enough lead time, I believe we can and will be able to piece together a contingency plan. However in this particular instance, I found myself having to make some tough choices.

Option 1 was to say"the heck with this, I'm going and let the chips fall where they may and go".

Option 2 was to skip the funeral, knowing full well that I would be able to visit during the shiva.

My colleagues at work all stepped up and asked "what can we do?.How can we help?"

In the end, it boiled down to where did I feel I was most needed at that moment.

I knew deep in my heart that my friend would be more than just understanding.

I also knew that with short notice , getting coverage at work would be just about impossible.

It became obvious fairly quickly that for the first time that I can remember, I felt like I couldn't break away and I would have to miss attending the funeral. This has never happened to me before. I was never in the position of other people, people who have real jobs and others counting on them to be there.While the decision was still mine, I felt a bit trapped. I almost felt like I had no choice.That's when I realized that I absolutely did have a choice. I also have responsibilities.That is what made my decision easier.I wasn't one of "those" people who needed to check with someone, a superior or with the personnel department or with my foreman or boss. The choice was mine and mine alone .

In the end, I was able to find true comfort in my choice and that's what truly matters.