Regrets

"      

If you want to make your dreams come true, wake up. Wake up to your own strength. Wake up to the role you play in your own destiny. Wake up to the power you have to choose what you think, do, and say."

Keith Ellis

About 4 years ago I was asked if I regretted giving up music. 

Without hesitation or pause I immediately answered "NOPE"!

I have shared this story with you and retold this story a number of times over the last 4 years.

My response was always based on the fact that during the years when I was involved with music, I had achieved more than I ever imagined I was capable of. 

I had performed on stages that were grander than I could ever imagine being on and had been part of ensembles, and productions far greater than my limited talents should have brought me to.

Well , I have come to realize that this explanation was all bull crap!

The fact of the matter is that I enjoyed "doing" music.

I had fun "doing" music.

I liked "doing" music.

Fun,enjoyment and liking things had for the entirety of my adult life, nothing to do with me.

I have spent just about all of my time since graduating college, working at building the life that I believed was important.

That meant working, earning, doing for others, and taking care of loved ones.

Period ..........end of statement.

Fun was not part of the equation.

When I was in training to become a life coach, one of our assignments was to work with a peer coach to practice our new skills. My very first peer coach , in our very first session, hit upon this issue.

Half way through our first session he asked me "what does David do for fun?"

6 years later, I still don't have an answer to that question. 

The one thing that is different today than when the question was first broached is that today I acknowledge that I am missing out on this part of my life.

Not that I am ready to make any changes regarding this just yet, however I am aware of the situation.

Back to the music thing.

I do actually have some regrets musically.

And they are in a sphere of music that I never participated in.

I have done a lot musically.

Operas, musicals,symphonies,marching bands, jazz bands large and small, choirs, acappella groups.

You name it , I've done it. 

(I am even a card carrying member of SPEBSQSA).

What I have never done,or for that matter been able to do is grab a guitar,sit around with others, and just have at it.

I love classic folk music. I would love to be able to sit with colleagues who appreciate these classics and play and sing the songs that made my generation. 

Dylan, Peter Paul and Mary, Arlo and Woodie, Pete Seeger,Phil Ochs,The Weavers,The Kingston Trio , just to name a few.

Okay....that would be fun!

So do I regret giving up music. 

The answer is still no,I do not regret giving up the music I once did.

I do regret having never followed my heart when it comes to folk music.

Not that I plan to change that. 

At least not in the foreseeable future.

Old habits are really hard to break!