A Pretty Good Day,All Things Considered!

 Another How Am I Doing Friday has come and gone without me writing. 
That was a good thing.
Not that I don't love writing to you. 
I actually had a really good,mindlessly productive day.
The day started out the same way as most days do lately,dreading to move and get out of bed.
And like most days, that first hour or so was enough to make me question just how much I might be able to actually accomplish for the day.
We had the entire family coming for Shabbat dinner and I had no idea what I was serving.
We have the no carb people and the no meat people and the no cold foods people and the only carb people and the ones who think anything green must be moldy.
It's always a challenge which becomes even more so as you add more mouths.
Once I cleared my overnight inbox, I felt enough relief to set about getting dinner stuff.
 First a trip to the butcher. 
Then a stop at the market. 
After a quick stop to exchange something at Kohls, I came home and started dinner preparations. 
I spent an hour cutting up produce that needed to get into either the oven or crock pot.
Then an hour while the veggies that required roasting were in the oven.
I could have used that hour to write , instead I chose to straighten up after myself and clean the kitchen, putting away as much as I could.
It really makes a difference when I work neatly.
Once the veggies were done, it was off to walk Sara's dogs, a trip to the chiropractor , yet one more trip to the market and green grocer and then home to finish preparing for dinner. 
With Max's help I set up tables to accommodate not only all of our guests ,but all of the dishes that I would be serving (this is always a challenge!).
There were a total of  16 side dishes, the main protein and an appetizer of soup as well as fresh veggies to go with the humus at each end of the table.
The colors of the dishes on the table were amazing. 
I think every color palette imaginable was represented.
Before I knew it, it was 5:45 which is the beginning of go time. 
Anything that need heating up gets turned on. Plating of cold dishes gets done next. 
Dinner was called for 6:30, so I had a couple minutes to sit and regroup before setting everything out. 
At around 6:15 , I began putting the food out. 
First the room temperature dishes , then the cold dishes.
I held off on the hot.
Everyone was mostly on time and after a few minutes of hellos hugs and other greetings we sat down at the table.
Candles were lit. 
Then Kiddush ( Google it!).
Then Motzi....(yep Google again) .
And then a champagne toast to the newly engaged couple, the home from college folks and the birthday boy.
As everyone had soup I put out the hot dishes , leaving absolutely no room for anything else on the table.
By 8 o'clock our guests were all gone. 
By nine, the dishes were done, tables and chairs put away and the house was pretty much back to normal.
For a day that started out without a plan or even a clue as to what I wanted to accomplish or how I was going to get it done, it turned out to be an amazingly productive and some how relaxing one.
All in all an absolutely great way to end the week .
Shabbat Shalom!

Happy Birthday Eliot!

May 10th!. 
It's my brother's birthday.
It's funny the things we remember.
Like my parents having a conversation one night .
While my sister and I sat in the kitchen eating dinner, my parents were talking in the living room, speaking in Yiddish which they would do when they didn't want us to know something. 
I never learned the language , however I was able to pick up enough to allow me to turn to my sister and say "I think Mommy is having a baby".
That was in the late fall. Next thing I knew it was Mother's day and the entire family went out to dinner to a place called Ben's Hungarian restaurant. 
It was up in Rockland county. 
The service was awful.
We sat around waiting for our meals forever. 
I remember we were a big party, but I can't recall who was there. 
Fast forward 24 hours and my parents took off for NY. 
The baby was coming.
I was 10 1/2.
Mona was 7 1/2.
We had no baby sitter.
Dad said if we need anything go down to the McSweeney's. 
I laid on the couch watching t,v.
I remember watching Johnathan Winters. 
He did a sketch on a baseball pitcher .
Eventually I fell asleep.
The next thing I knew, my dad was waking me to tell me to go to bed.
He said I had a new baby brother.
And that was that.
Happy Birthday El!
I hope you are having another awesome day!

What Was That All About?

 I have no idea why yesterday became such a boil over day for me.
I am sure starting out with my greater than usual back pain had some thing to do with it.
I also know that whatever it was, it was probably something else.
Confusing?
Not really.
Along the way on my Journey , I have discovered that when I get as uncomfortable in so many different aspects of my life as I was yesterday, it's probably a sign that I need to pay attention to something.
They say (who ever they are) that we are the average of the 5 relationships that we spend the most time with. 
If you want a better life, hang out with better people. 
I find that to be absolutely true.
Unfortunately, the 3 people I spend the most time with are me, myself and I.
Not exactly the standard bearers that will help me become a better me !
I did hear from a couple of people who had some thoughts around my rantings.
One dear friend suggested that the guy in the mirror was A-Okay in her book.
Now that's a person who if I could spend more time with I know would be that standard bearer who would make a difference in my life. Unfortunately, the 3000 miles between us puts a damper on the amount of time we can spend together.
Another friend suggested that it sounds like I am ill at ease with the changes in my relationship with my adult children. again, great insight and again, geographic limitations denies any real time together.
A 3rd voice from yet another friend and colleague, made it abundantly clear that having a circle of "better" people around me would in fact be a plus for me.
The truth is I have become a bit solitary.
I drive my bus. 
I run errands.
I make dinners.
I go to bed and when I get up, I repeat the a fore mentioned tasks.
Not exactly inspirational!
I have some tasks that I perform which support some of my business interests. Most of them are fairly mundane and at best marginally important.
Being marginalized is certainly no way to grow.
Actually being marginalized kind of sucks!
One thing I know about myself is that it is my nature to be a farmer.
I see a plot of of land and I immediately want to know what I can grow on it.
It's said that idle hands are the devil's workshop. Surely the devil was in me yesterday.Coincidentally,in today's Darren Daily, my mentor has encouraged me to "act now".
He reminded me of the Eleanor Roosevelt quote "do something that scares you every day".
It's time to shake off the rust and mildew and clean up my act.
I have a colleague on the west Coast who has an opportunity that is worth perusing.
Today, I will push him on that. It's either a yes or no. 
Either way, today we address it.
There must be other such opportunities out there. What ever they are or where ever they are, now is the time to start tilling the soil.
If I want to be outstanding in my field (yes that's what farmers are!), I have to start by tilling the soil!

Grey Skies

Today has started out as one of those "I hate the World" days.
I seem to be annoyed at every thing and every one.
I hate the traffic on the roads.
I hate the people driving (too aggressively) in the cars that are congesting the roads.
I seem to be mad at just about everything.
Okay so I don't actually hate any of them. 
What I am feeling is angry. 
And disappointed.
And frustrated.
And abandoned.
And let down.
And unfulfilled. 
And uninspired.
And disenchanted.
And sad. 
And alone.
I actually have a petty good idea whee all of this stems from. 
Yeah.....you guessed right........the guy in the mirror.

What a Difference A Day Makes (part 3)

 You do realize that I have 3 kids ?
In part 1 of What a Difference a Day Makes I wrote about what Max has accomplished over the last 42 months. In part 2 I blathered on about Sara's Journey ,which probably spanned the same time period, possibly a bit longer.
Did you really think I would leave Becca out of this picture?
Not happening!
So we go back a little further in time, to like 2010, when Becca declared that she had no plans to go to college.
Basically, she had no plans at all.This is why she chose to not go into debt acquiring a B.S.degree ( yes b.s. in this case means bull shit) .
She saw others that she knew graduating with loans that were choking,them taking jobs that they didn't want or like.
She saw this as dumb and quite honestly, I agreed 100%.
After graduating from High School she was free to spend 3 months in the U.K. with me, helping to set up and run a Halloween store. 
When we came home, she kicked around a few different jobs, always gainfully employed, eventually winding up taking a part time job bathing dogs at a grooming shop.
To make ends meet she continued with her part time child care job as well.
30 months ago, she and I sat and talked about the possibility of opening a shop of our own.
2 years ago today The Grooming Shoppe opened its doors for business.
What a difference a day makes!
(or in this case 2 years).
Late Friday night , Becca and I went back to decorate the shop to mark this occasion. 
Last year, Sara ,Max and I did this as a surprise for Susan and Becca.
This year, Becca and I continued the tradition.
As we went about hanging things and putting out balloons, I remarked that a year before when we did this we had 1 groomer,1 table.
A year later the shop has a second table ,and a second groomer.
The shop also underwent a minor face lift as we had reconfigured the space , changing the feng shui .
The new shade in the front window,you know the one which she so adamantly opposed,has also been a great addition. 
Last June, after 5 years she found herself without her part time child care job. The kids had grown up (they do that you know!)
As scary as not having that income may have been, Becca took charge of her situation and put all of her efforts into making sure that the shop flourished.
1 year later, by any measurable standard,The Grooming Shoppe is doing just that....Flourishing!
3 kids. 
3 different Journeys.
One amazingly proud father!
Shavua Tov!

What Am I Missing?

My daughter Sara got engaged this past weekend. Since then I have received many many notes, emails, texts, phone calls and other sorts of congratulatory messages.
All are warmly appreciated and unbelievably wonderful.
However, there is a however to all of this. People keep asking me "are you excited?" and "are you happy?".
This has become a bit of a challenge for me.
Excited?
 If I were to answer without filtering myself I would say NO!
I am sure that Sara will understand what I mean here,what is it that should be exciting ME in all of this?
Patrick has been around for quite some time now. He is as much a part of the Flock of Spiegels as he can possibly be. He is a fixture at our Shabbat dinners and is always a part of anything we do as family.
So for me , other than 1 more time I will have to fret about how I look in a suit or photographs, life has not changed one bit.
As far as HAPPY?
If you know anything about me the one thing you have heard a million times is that HAPPY is a choice, a choice we make every minute of every day.
Events do not MAKE us HAPPY....we choose to be HAPPY.
So you see where I am having some consternation around this. 
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I missing something?
Is there some experience in this that has eluded me?I understand Mazel Tov!
I can deal with congratulations!
Questions about how I am feeling  are way to confusing for me.
I guess I don't understand how I am supposed to be feeling. 
Kind of sucks for me!

Nostalgia!

May Word of the Month:

Nostalgia

"a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations."

Nostalgia......it's such a feel good word. The moment you hear the word it summons warm memories. Like your favorite blanket, the word seems to envelop and comfort you.

It's like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter's day.

It's also the apex of the slippery slope.

All too often , it is easy to get hing up on nostalgia.

 The good old days.

The "I remember when a loaf of bread cost a dime" days.

 The remember when days. 

I am not sure which slippery slope is more treacherous, the head in the sand or the good old days one.

One thing is for certain, if you spend too much time in either place I will never get to where I am going.

(Wherever that may be?)

Every now and then, it certainly is nice to reminisce.

To remember and recall past exploits and accomplishments. It's wonderful when I have the chance to recount tales of days gone by.

Living in them and yearning to return to them is an impossibility.

For good or for bad, the good old days helped make me who I am today.

If I spend all of my time looking back at them,I have absolutely no chance of finding what lies ahead of me.

Nostalgia. 

It's a pretty word.

And like a pretty flower, it's better to appreciate it and then leave it untouched.