Now I get it

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

Thomas A. Edison

Now I get it.

I love to write to you. Often, it is the highlight of my day. so why is it that I so frequently skip doing this?

Very simply,s#!t happens. I leave the house well before 7 each day. Before long,stuff just starts popping up. In my head , the noise starts. It begins as a low drone that builds and builds and builds. Before I know it the noise level is cacophonous. My thoughts and attention are being pulled in 100 different directions. when I finally do get to sit in front of my computer, my mind is racing at 100 miles an hour. The quiet place which I so long for is unattainable.My mind can barely be still for a minute or 2 never mind clear my head to allow myself the luxury of some truly reflective time.

I get myself worked up over the fact that I am not writing which only serves to increase the anxiety and anxiousness.

Now I get it. Writing in this place and space is not possible.

Finding that place is my challenge. At least I now understand the why of it all. Now to come up with the how.

Managing My Expectations

"Ambition, fueled by compassion, wisdom and integrity, is a powerful force for good that will turn the wheels of industry and open the doors of opportunity for you and countless others."

Zig Ziglar

Just about every Sunday morning for the last three decades or more, I have coffee with my cousin. We use that time to catch up, check in and ponder what's next.Over the years we have incorporated walks in the park, trips to the gym and even some grocery shopping. The one constant has been the chat over a cup of coffee.Remarkably, there is always some nugget of insight that sticks with me from these conversations.Today was no different.While chatting about this that and the other thing today, in a very matter of fact way, the phrase "managing expectations" came up.

Fascinating!

Absolutely fascinating!

I should probably add this to my course curriculum for would be entrepreneurs.Actually, it applies to just about everyone, however, I happen to love working with the aforementioned group.

Mostly, I should probably use this in my personal life first. I actually use this quite a bit without realizing that I am doing it.

(ooops! Just looked at the clock.....gotta go drive the bus...I'll be back)

Okay. I'm back.

Thankfully stepping away from my desk actually brought some clarity to the concept of managing my expectations.Managing my expectations is completely different than lowering them.

Opportunity remains as it has always been.Limitless!

Expectations, specifically in the immediate moment, are more finite.

As Lao Tzu reminds us, "The Journey of a thousand miles MUST,begin with a single step."

I never want to lower my expectations. I still have and continue to pursue my BHAG's (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) .

Understanding that I will only achieve them by accomplishing the next step in the process is key to managing my expectations and ultimately determining my level of success.

Dreams will remain only dreams unless there is an action plan.

Once the steps of that plan are carefully laid out,any dream can become reality.

It just takes some effort. Effort which includes managing my expectations.

Shavua Tov!

I could be...........

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”

John Lennon

There are a lot of things I could be doing today. There probably are a bunch of things I should be doing today.Instead , I have made the conscious choice to not deal with them . Instead I am doing somethings I want to do.I want to take a step back and survey the landscape,evaluate where I am and prioritize what I will handle next.I want to write to you so I am. I want to not feel pressured so I am stepping back a bit.I want to feel settled so I am not adding anything that puts extra demands on my time, resources or energies.This is where I am today. It's a bit of a resting place,not a place I intend to reside in for a long period. It's just the place I want to be in for the moment.In his message of the day yesterday, my mentor Darren Hardy spoke about being comfortable being uncomfortable. While I understand and agree with the concept, there are moments in time when I realize that I have been uncomfortable for way too long. Looking back over the last few weeks and months, I see a long trail of discomfort. I am okay with all of it. That's what has gotten me to this point. Sara's wedding is behind me. The challenges of the Grooming shoppe have righted themselves. The normal chaos of the holiday season and the end of the year have passed. Winter is here and although weeks away, a new Spring is just around the corner.The project I have been working on is entering what should be its final stages and my role is now hands off.

So before I go charging blindly into whatever is next, I am choosing to stand with my hands on my side, taking a deep breath and allowing myself this moment.Not exactly a flannel pajama, pint of ice cream,wearing my bathrobe day. Just a day where I can just be without the pressures that admittedly I often heap on myself.

How long will I stay here? Not very if I have to take a guess. For now, this feels good and I plan to take full advantage of my decision to be here.It feels comfortable today,and that is an unfamiliar feeling for me.It's nice.....for now,however short lived that may be.

Word of the Month January 2020

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."

Brian Tracy

January Word of the Month

HONESTY

1 adherence to the facts 

: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct

Quite often I hear from friends who take some time out of their busy days to read my emails.One of the comments I have heard time and time again is that they appreciate how open and honest I am when I write.I hear comments ranging from thanks for sharing to thanks for putting that out there and I wish I had said that. At times I have even received a TMI!I love it!

The truth of the matter is there are often times when I feel like I am being less than honest or less than forthcoming. There are a number of topics that I always try and stay away from. You know the ones that you are warned never to discuss at the Thanksgiving dinner table. I am more than comfortable keeping those opinions to myself.My concern over my lack of candor comes more from things about my life that I haven't shared with you. Some are minor and petty and serve little or no purpose so I rarely bring them up. There are a few, a small few, that are major happenings in my world, yet for some unknown reason I have chosen to keep to myself.In retrospect, I am not sure if mentioning them would have been me just griping and grousing or if in fact,putting them out in the open would be an opportunity for change.I am starting to believe that maybe I am doing myself a disservice by holding these back.In the words of Justice Louis Brandeis"Sunlight is the best disinfectant".Trust me, there are more than a few areas of my life that could use a good cleaning!

I kind of hinted around one yesterday when I mentioned the work that we started on the house last week. I received a number of texts and emails congratulating me on my sister finally moving out.For those of you who are not privy to what I am talking about,over 5 years ago, I opened my house up to my sister. Plain and simple,she was homeless.What seemed like the only honorable thing to do at that time has not quite worked out as I had hoped. While I assumed that giving her a safe space to get healthy,regroup ,and recuperate would be a launching point for her,she has chosen a different path.The strain that this has put on my family and my relationships is unimaginable.My enabling has alienated dozens of people in my life. It has reached the breaking point. Deadline after deadline for her to leave have come and gone. We have agreed that the end of the month is the end. We've been here before.The difference this time is that I am not waiting to move on. Hence, the wall to her room has started to come down. By the end of the month, the room as it now is, will not exist. I must move on,and so must she.

So there you have it. An honest accounting and after all Honest is the best policy!

Keepin' Busy

 "The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."

~ Thomas Jefferson

Last time I wrote to you I mentioned that I am dealing with living in the meantime while waiting for a project that I am involved in to catch up to me.Until it does,the meantime is where I am at.

Let me share with you that there are lots of things that still need tending to during the meantime. It has been non-stop over the last few days,including a new home remodeling project.After 27 plus years,I am tearing down the wall I put up to create an extra bedroom.What started out as our living room,became a nursery and eventually a bedroom.At one point it became a playroom and then back to a bedroom as the kids got older. 5 years ago,it was going to become a reading room/office space before my sister found herself homeless.Since then,it has been her refuge. That is coming to an end and it is time to reclaim that space for our use and enjoyment.So this past Saturday, 3/4's if the wall came down. I have always loved demolition. It's the first step on the way to a new place.Not wanting to turn the entire house upside down and creating a huge mess while I am away this weekend,I chose to limit the chaos by not tearing out the entire wall. In two weeks, I will be back at it and tear out the remaining wall as well as the closet that is behind it.

After that it will be deep breath time!There is a floor to be put down,windows to be replaced and possibly reopening of what used to be our front door. All in good time. There is and will be no rush to get this done.Target date?Early Spring.For now,the plan is to limit the debris and disruption in the house,which is easier said than done.

Susan is not a fan of change. At least not until the project is done.In this instance, the idea of losing our long overstayed house guest and a return to normalcy has made these anticipated changes more bearable to her.You know.....in the meantime!

In the Meantime

“True courage is taking another small step each day toward achieving your vision.”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have been working on a project for a few weeks that in my eyes will ultimately be a huge game changer in my life.My hopes were to have it wrapped up by the end of the month changing a lot in my approach to my daily activities. After meeting this morning with one of the other players involved in this adventure, I have found out that my end of January target is probably more like the end of February. My initial reaction was "geez....I was really hoping to have this wrapped up sooner.....". Although I did not say that, it was certainly what I was thinking.My next thought was "so now what?". Do I sit on pins and needles as we slog through the process? Do I stress out for the next 45 days , waiting, hoping, dreaming , envisioning, or worse worrying that it falls apart?

The answer is none of the above.I am now existing in the "in the meantime".

In the meantime.....

Here is where I am.

Here is what I have.

Here is what I need to be accomplishing and working on.

I can't change this 45 day window. Let it go!

Let the river flow.Eventually it will run its course.In the meantime, life goes on. There are many other chores,tasks, and responsibilities to be handled,none of which are wishing, hoping, wondering or imagining.

Life in the meantime.

It's all good!

If I Can Dream

 "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."

Robert F. Kennedy

There are times when I lose track of the path I've been on, where I have been and the roads that I have traveled on.I am never one to spend a lot of time "reflecting" or dwelling on the past.This morning I had a reminder of a part of my Journey that I had not thought about in quite some time.It was around this time 6 years ago. Thanks to a dear friend of mine, I had become involved in a multi-level marketing company.On a weekly basis we attended meetings that while designed to engage new prospects,served as a constant source of inspiration and energy for those of us already involved.Speeches by those who had "made it",and who were climbing the ranks,left me feeling"this could be me someday".When you did finally make it to the top, the celebration and spectacle that surrounded your coronation was an unbelievable experience.Those who rose to the highest ranks were lauded with their special celebration, held at the semi-annual conventions where literally 10's of thousands of participants took part. While attending one of these conventions,I took the liberty of imagining what it would be like on the day that I would be standing on that stage.In the midst of my weightloss at that time, I even knew what I would wear for the event. I also picked the song that would be playing as my family, friends and business partners stood by my side.

For about a month or so after that convention, I would start each day by listening to that song.I would close my eyes and allow myself to dream.Dream of what at the time seemed like an unimaginable  life. Dream about what it would feel like to be happy.Dream about being significant.

Today, as I reached for the control to the heat which had finally come up in my Jeep, I heard the first notes of that song start to play on the radio.Not wanting the blowers to interfere with the music,I instead turned volume foregoing the much needed change in temperature. The next thing I knew , I was magically transported back in time. I was sitting erect behind the wheel. I found myself singing along with the music which was getting louder and louder at each verse. The cold morning evaporated as I belted out each stanza culminating with what can only be described as my roaring voice echoing inside of my car.

So I will share this song with you. 

Sit back. 

Take a deep breath. 

Click this link .

Turn up the volume. 

Close your eyes. 

And dare to dream:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-pP_dCenJA

Jury Duty-Update

EXCUSED!

('Nuff Said!)

What a way to start the week!

Jury Duty

 "Don't ruin a good day by thinking about a bad yesterday."

~ Zig Ziglar

I was truly looking forward to returning to a normal work week schedule for the first time in what seems like months. No holidays. No school closings. No cancellations of the County bus.Just my plain old boring work week. Then I remembered that I ave jury duty on Monday. Well isn't that special!

I know, it's my civic duty blah,blah, blah.....What it is is a supreme waste of my time and a major disruption and inconvenience to me.Does any one get excited when they get that notice in the mail that they have jury duty?I contend that if you do, you my want to start reading some personal growth books or take a few courses at your local adult school. anything that may help to broaden your social life!The worst part is they send you the notice months in advance so it hangs like a spector, a grey cloud over your head forever. You circle the date on your calendar,first in red the in black.Who needs this interruption in their routine? In 1973 the U.S. ended the draft. Somehow,we still have an army.It's a volunteer oneand is doing just fine. why can't we have a volunteer jury pool. I would volunteer on my day off. I'm sure that others would do the same. I think if promoted properly, people would step up and do the right thing.But no,here's government getting in the way once again. Why not open the courts on the weekends when most people have a day off?Heavens no, that would never happen!

I am so looking forward to being herded like cattle, shepherded from room to room,cut of from the outside world for what?Oh right, to fulfill my civic duty.

If you haven't figured it out by now,I'm not a fan of the whole jury duty thing.

Talk about your basic eat the frog day.

Yichhhhhhhhhhhh!

Shabbat Shalom!

I am David Spiegel and this is 2020

"Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."

Charles Dickens

I mentioned the other day that the new year did not bring a plethora of BHAGs with it (Big Hairy Audacious Goals). For me it was more like business as usual. Of course business as usual for me means always working towards being a better representation of me today than I was yesterday. As 2019 was ending, I found myself stumbling towards some imaginary finish line.It felt like that stumbling started in October and continued to build momentum right up until New Years Day.When you stumble things get out of control. First there's that falling feeling. Then things seem to speed up. Soon,your arms are flailing and before you know it you are completely out of control.

In this case,I have to be encouraged that I didn't fall flat on my face. Somehow, I managed to catch myself and regain my composure. At least enough to avoid a fall.Now it's time to right the ship. It's time to take control of all of the little and not so little things that came off of the rails during my year end stumble.

You know the little things like health,finances,self-improvement,appearance,mind set,fitness,and writing. Yes,writing!

All of those little things which right about now aren't feeling so good to me. It's time to get back to paying attention. Time to be present in my own life.Time to lead my life not let life lead me.

I Am David Spiegel and this Is 2020!

2020 Hindsight

"Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."

Charles Dickens

So what is 20/20 hindsight?

20/20 hindsight is what appears in the rearview mirror.I for one, hate going there.20/20 hindsight is usually followed by "if only I had.....".

Well guess what?

I didn't!And the only thing I can do with that information is to remind myself the next time I find myself in a similar situation.I can't change the past. Nor is the past a roadmap for the future. It is a tool that I may find useful at some point in time.

Does this rub against my "Keep Telling the Stories" mantra for 2020?

Not really. Telling the stories is part of the reminder. That's completely different than living in or trying to change the past. The past after all is in the past.

"If only I had....".

"If only I did....".

"If only I had not....".

Not even part of the conversation!

Been there done that.

Now that opens the door to opportunity!When I was there and did that,how did it turn out for me?

That's when 20/20 hindsight may be of value to me.

2020 hindsight is the same as 2019 or 2018 or any year I pick.

It's all part of the story.It's a great story.

So Keep Telling the Stories!

2020 Vision

“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.”

Norman Vincent Peale

My inbox has been filled with emails encouraging me to set new BHAGS for 2020. BHAGS..............Big Hairy Audacious Goals.Not just those New Year's resolutions that people make and then fail o follow up on,but the well thought out plan for making a better life.Lose weight,exercise, get a new job,take a big vacation,save more money, go back to school,volunteer at whatever.Do that "thing" that I've been putting off forever.

None of this seems to pertain to me. As a matter of fact, I find myself doing little more than treading water at this point in time and for now, that feels like enough.I'm not saying this feels good or is particularly productive in any way shape or form. I just know that starting a new project of any sort, just for the sake of doing something, would be a monumental waste of time and energy.A few weeks ago I put something in motion. Like planting any crop, there is a period of time when all you can do is step aside and wait. Wait until that planting sprouts ,at which point you can nurture it. In the meantime, all you can do is go about your daily chores.And wait!

Planting something else would be counterproductive. So would walking away. Instead,I just grind through my daily routine until such time as I can see exactly what it is I planted and what I can do with it now that I have identified it. So for now, my 2020 vision is fairly nearsighted. Handle what's on my plate and wait.

BHAGS?

Well maybe later,just not right now

And for the time being I am more than okay with that.