And there but for........................

“Life is a sum of all your choices.”

Albert Camus

As I walked through the hallway at the Senior Center, I passed the food donation bin .

It's always chock full which is a wonderful thing.

This particular time I happened to notice that sitting on top was a box of dog biscuits.

I thought to myself that there probably aren't a whole lot of dogs that show up at the food pantry.

Since I happen to live with a couple of underfed, underloved, underprivileged dogs, I plucked the box out of the bin to share with them.

Even if I don't give them to my dogs, I am sure Sara can bring them to the rescue shelter where she volunteers.

On my way out of the building , I shared with a few folks what I had found sitting in with the donated food stuffs.

One woman, in what can only be described as a sarcastically demeaning tone said "and why were you picking through the food bin".

Everyone else chuckled,at her comment and obviously at me.

So here's the embarrassing secret that I didn't share with them.

It was not all that long ago, when I did find myself rummaging through food donations to find something that I could use.

A found box of cereal meant breakfast for my kids without me having to lay out that extra $4.

$4 here and $4 there made a huge difference.

I felt the heat of embarrassment begin to well up in side of me.

These were all really nice people,

I am sure that they are all very charitable in their own way.

However,they were all completely ignorant to the notion that one of their colleagues and coworkers could ever have been in need of a helping hand.

This is not the first time I have brushed up this kind of ignorance.

I remember at board meeting from my synagogue,one prominent member ,an absolutely lovely and caring person, remarked"I don't understand these members who need....why don't they just come in and ask for help".

I turned to her and asked"have you ever had to beg?"

...."It's a painful experience".

She didn't get it.

Thankfully, and I hope permanently those days are gone,.

However,the pain and the sting will always be a part of me.

I know too well how awful this feeling is.

And there but for.......