A Rainy Sunday

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe."

-Gail Devers

Today has turned into a rainy Sunday.

When I left for the gym at 6:45,the sun was just coming up.

By the time I finished my workout, the skies were surprisingly clear and it looked as if the predicted showershad missed us completely.

Looking out of my windows, maybe we weren't quite so lucky.

So far the rain has been sporadic,a few sprinkles, a short shower, and then some dry periods.

In general, or for the time being, I don't think I will plan for any outdoor activinties.

The cleaning people cancelled at the last minute so there goes that plan.

Rescheduling doesn't make sense at this point since my plan was to have them back in 2 weeks to help get the house in shape for Passover.

Yes,Passover (and Easter) are less than 3 weeks away.

It seems like only yesterday that Susan admonished me for bringing up the fact that the first Seder was 10 weeks away.

It is the last day of March.

I took a moment to ponder and think about the March word of the month,DISCIPLINE.

I have been acutely aware of the many disciplines that I try to incorporate into my daily routine.

Good eating habits.

Dressing for the party.

Staying active (or at the least being less sedentary!).

Smiling.

Starting each day with a positive outlook.

Hitting the reset button when that positive outlook escapes me during the day.

Nothing over the top.

Nothing obsessive in my behavior.

Just making the conscious effort to be a better version of me.

Tiny choices that make a huge difference.

All in all, not a bad thing to be aware of.

Shavua Tov!

I have no class

 "The beginning is always today."

~ Mary Shelley 

It's true.

I have no class.

At least that is for the time being.

On Thursday evening at 7 pm , I launched my inaugural offering of my adult education course" So you want to start a business......".

After 221 days since I came up with the idea to put this class together, it was showtime!

5 people signed up for the course.

4 actually showed up!

I got to Ridgewood High school about 15 minutes early to set up the room and lay out the materials I had prepared.

After arranging the desks in a more intimate set up, I was ready to go.

One by one, the eager participants began showing up.

At exactly 7:02 , I introduced myself and we were off and running.

To be honest, I was not nervous at all.

I had accomplished exactly what I had set out to do in August.

I had developed an introductory workshop for aspiring entrepreneurs.

The one concern I had was timing.

The course description said that this was to ba a 90 minute event.

Having never actually presented this,and never having practiced or done a mock presentation, I wasn't sure if I had a 90 minute or a 15 minute program.

With all of my attention focused on the 4 others in the room, I some how managed to keep an eye on the clock hanging above the doorway.

In preparing for the program, I had mentally allocated approximately 10 minute mile markers , moving from one bullet point to the next.

At the first time check, the clock said 7:20 and I was right about where I had hoped to be.

At 7:40, I was still on schedule, keeping pace with the workbook I had prepared for the class.

I rarely opened it ,as the words just seemed to flow freely for me.

It did serve me well as a road map , keeping my aware of the essence of what this course was based around, what I called the 5W's,Who,What ,When,Where ,and Why.

In my case that night:

Who was I talking to?

What is it that I wanted to share with them?

When did I need to be on which topic?

Where did I want go go next?

Most importantly Why was this event even taking place?

8:20 and I had just enough time to wrap things up.

At 8:34, I thanked everyone for attending and let them know that I couldn't wait to hear more from them and about their plans for the future.

So now, I have no class.

At least for the immediate future.

That is until the Fall curriculum brochure gets mailed out and I have the opportunity to

offer this course again.

Shabbat Shalom!

And there but for........................

“Life is a sum of all your choices.”

Albert Camus

As I walked through the hallway at the Senior Center, I passed the food donation bin .

It's always chock full which is a wonderful thing.

This particular time I happened to notice that sitting on top was a box of dog biscuits.

I thought to myself that there probably aren't a whole lot of dogs that show up at the food pantry.

Since I happen to live with a couple of underfed, underloved, underprivileged dogs, I plucked the box out of the bin to share with them.

Even if I don't give them to my dogs, I am sure Sara can bring them to the rescue shelter where she volunteers.

On my way out of the building , I shared with a few folks what I had found sitting in with the donated food stuffs.

One woman, in what can only be described as a sarcastically demeaning tone said "and why were you picking through the food bin".

Everyone else chuckled,at her comment and obviously at me.

So here's the embarrassing secret that I didn't share with them.

It was not all that long ago, when I did find myself rummaging through food donations to find something that I could use.

A found box of cereal meant breakfast for my kids without me having to lay out that extra $4.

$4 here and $4 there made a huge difference.

I felt the heat of embarrassment begin to well up in side of me.

These were all really nice people,

I am sure that they are all very charitable in their own way.

However,they were all completely ignorant to the notion that one of their colleagues and coworkers could ever have been in need of a helping hand.

This is not the first time I have brushed up this kind of ignorance.

I remember at board meeting from my synagogue,one prominent member ,an absolutely lovely and caring person, remarked"I don't understand these members who need....why don't they just come in and ask for help".

I turned to her and asked"have you ever had to beg?"

...."It's a painful experience".

She didn't get it.

Thankfully, and I hope permanently those days are gone,.

However,the pain and the sting will always be a part of me.

I know too well how awful this feeling is.

And there but for.......

How can I explain this............

“Time and health are two precious assets that we don't recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.”

~ Denis Waitley

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. Eventually we came around to my weight loss Journey .

He seemed perplexed and confused by the fact that I seem to be constantly jumping back into a cycle.

I was confused by what exactly seemed so confusing to him.

He said "well,it never seems like you're done."

"It's as if you are constantly dieting."

This kind of caught me off guard for a second.

I waited a few minutes before I responded and then offered up 2 anecdotal scenarios.

Scenario #1:

I explained to him that even though I clean up after myself on a daily basis,put my clothes in the hamper,wipe down the counters after I cook and empty my garbage can when it gets full,I still have the cleaning people come in ever 2-3 weeks to get things back to really clean.

No matter how "on top" of cleaning up after myself I stay on a daily basis, every now and then, before things get out of control, the cleaning people get things back in shape.

He kind of got it but not really.

So I offered up scenario #2:

I said to him"You're a man of faith correct?

(He's kind of born again)

He said yes.

I pointed out that even though he lives a life committed to his religious beliefs, 2 or 3 or more times a year, I know he goes away on a retreat .

When he returns, he is inspired and his commitment has been elevated to a higher level.

So why does he feel he needs these getaways to reconnect?

Did he lose something along the way?

Did his commitment decrease during the interim periods?

Is he less devout the other 350 plus days a year and only reminded of his commitment and connection during those retreats?

(Okay now he was not happy with me!)

The point is whether it's doing a cycle to reign myself back in or going on a retreat to reconnect, or having the cleaning people in now and then to spruce things up,we need these activities to bring us back to the apex , the pinnacle.

We, or should I say I,can't live on the razor's edge 24 hours a day , 365 days a year.

I do the best I can, but I'm not obsessed.

I am not a machine.

Then again ,even machines need routine maintenance.

For me , that routine maintenance is doing a cycle.

Kind of like a retreat for fat people!

I'm still not sure he gets it.

That's okay....I do!

The Best Version of Me

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."

Denis Waitley

I have no idea why they happen .

Nor can I predict when they will happen.

I only know that every once in a while, I find myself in the midst of a day where the best version of David shows up.

And when they do, I feel awesome!

I walk taller.

I show up differently.

I smile more.

I greet people more.

I engage with others in a much more animated fashion.

I feel invincible.

I feel unstoppable.

Mostly I feel alive.

I wish I could tell you that this was more the norm than the exception for me.

I haven't quite made it to that place ....yet.

However, the fact that I recognize this better version of myself and just how good it makes me feel is a great place to begin.

Now the task at hand is to make this a daily priority.

My challenge to myself is to start each day connecting to that energy and carrying it with me on a consistent basis.

Sounds like a challenge I want to take head on!

A How Am I Doin Friday Update.

"If you want to have more, you have to become more.

For things to change, you have to change.

For things to get better, you have to become better."

~ Jim Rohn

It's been quite some time since I have shared an update with you on a How Am I Doin' Friday.

I am actually great!

Susan, Max and I are just finishing up a cycle on the Why Weight program.

It has by all measurable metrics been a successful endeavour.

Now we have 3 weeks of maintenance, before the holiday season hits.

There will be another cycle for Max and myself after Passover.

We will see how things go after that.

(Susan is skinny as hell!)

I am sure there will be another cycle late summer,just before Sara's wedding.

The time crunch from the Halloween ordering season has eased up quite a bit.

The frenetic chasing of people for orders has now shifted to the grind of contacting customers who have been dragging their feet.

I am putting the finishing touches on my adult education class,So You Want To Start a Business..., which will debut this Thursday.

(If you are in the area , you can still sign up!)

I am both excited and apprehensive at the same time.

This is a new experience for me.

I have never taught a course like this and quite honestly, I have no idea or expectations of what it will be like.

Fridays are normally my catch up day.

This is not the case this week as I am filling in for the other driver today.

While I really could have used the day for myself, the extra day's pay will certainly come in handy when the paycheck hits just before Passover.

On a scale from 1-10 , I would have to say that I am clocking in at great.

(I know that doesn't make sense!)

It just is.

Time to grab a quick bite before heading back to work.

I hope you have an awesome weekend

Shabbat Shalom!

Furthermore.............

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

John F. Kennedy

Responding to my email from yesterday, a friend reminded me that Springtime is a season for rebirth.

I say he is actually making my argument for me.

Re- Birth, or for that matter,any birth comes with labor.

Labor ,as in work as in raking,mowing,cleaning,trimming etc etc.

'Nuff said about that!

All kidding aside, I understand the excitement everyone around me feels as the new season approaches.

I feel that way with each season as they all bring their own special gifts.

I think my resistance towards the joy that has been bombarding me regarding Spring's arrival is the fact that those around me act as if the season itself is the driving factor in happiness not their own approach to life.

No one, no thing, no time can make me happy.

Over and over, day by day, I work with the knowledge that happiness is a choice, a choice that is mine and mine alone to make.

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night....." will keep me from being happy!

My life, my choice!.

No matter what the season!

I'm going to miss Winter

“Sing like no one's listening,love like you've never been hurt,dance like nobody's watching,and live like its heaven on earth.”

Mark Twain

Spring arrived today.

Big deal!

I don't get all of the excitement about Spring.

Hay Fever comes in Spring.

Daylight savings time?

Who needs an extra two or three hours of day light at the end of an already long hard day?

The snow will melt which means the yard will need tending to.

Do you have any idea how much poop there is in the yard after winter?

Grass will need cutting.

Leaves and debris will need to be raked,bagged and gotten rid of.

Spring time is just not al that it's cracked up to be in my book.

That's just me.

I'll miss winter.

I know exactly what to wear in the winter.

Either jeans and a hoodie or jeans and a sweater and shirt.

Simple.

Springtime wardrobe?

Long sleeves or short sleeves?

Jacket or sweater or nothing?

Jeans or shorts,

(Yes it gets hot enough for shorts!)

It's all very complicated!

Winter....it doesn't matter.

Whatever you wear is covered by a coat.

Never mind dinner.

Is it nice enough to eat outside?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

And then there's the outdoor furniture. Pull the cusghions out.

Rain?

Put the cushions away.

And then bugs!

You see,winter is much easier.

Oh great....the woman on the news just said we are in for a Spring soaker tomorrow.

See...like I said,I' going to miss winter.

I suppose I'll get over it eventually!

Happy Spring!

Harvard can wait!

“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”

~ Abraham Lincoln

Before Susan commandeered the television last night to watch the last of the blind auditions on The Voice, I was channel surfing and came upon one of the "news" channels.

The host was speaking to her guest about some polling regarding Millennials and Gen Z kids.

The data from these surveys suggested that today's parents are way too quick to stay way too connected in unhealthy ways to their 18-30 year old children.

The survey showed that protecting these young adults from failing or falling has become the norm,a continuation of the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality that has become so prevalent in our culture.

The guest offered up the following:

"As a parent, my job is to prepare my children to get into Heaven, not Harvard".

Fantastic!

Of course this intrigued me so I had to Google the quote.

While I could not find any one person that this was attributed to, it seems that this is a movement among Christian parents, paving the way to the Kingdom to come rather than striving to succeed in getting to a prestigious college.

While I am not so sure about the whole afterlife thing, I must admit that I truly believe that this has been and remains my role as a parent.

For years, I have espoused the belief that the only thing that mattered to me when it came to raising my kids is that they grew up to be good, decent, respectful people.

This was not so that they could gain entry through the pearly gates.

It was to ensure that they lived a life as good people.

In our house, it was all about #5, the 5th commandment (Old Testament!).

Honor thy mother and father.

I would tell my kids"If you do that, the outcome is inevitable".

"In everything you do, every day of your life, every minute of every day, the choices you make have consequences."

"At the end of that day,will you be able to look into your parents eyes?"

Conversely, I try to lead my life with that same mindset.

Can I look into the eyes of my children and not be ashamed of my actions today?

Harvard can surely wait.

The truth is, it probably isn't for everyone.

It's all of the other stuff that seems way more important.

But then again, that's just me.

Life by the Numbers

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a bit better...to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

The dichotomy of my life.

Although I don't like math, I am a numbers guy.

Every morning when I wake up,I check my weight.

Numbers matter.

The first thing I do when I open my computer each day is check my bank balances.

Numbers matter.

I am a salesman.

NUMBERS MATTER!

The trick for me is to make sure that I use these numbers for the purpose they are intended.

They are markers for me to chart where I am and how far I have come or where I might want to head towards.

When I let the numbers control how I think , act or feel about myself, life becomes much more difficult.

The numbers can't control me but I can always control the numbers.

Life by the numbers.........it's just that simple!

Shabbat Shalom!

The Ides of March

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

~ Farrah Gray

So what are Ides any way?

Well on the Roman calendar they are a date that loosely corresponds to the middle of the month. In March ,May,July and October it is the 15th and the other months it falls on the 13th.

Now that we have that out of the way..........I have something else I want to get off of my chest.

I have been at this writing thing for over 5 years now.

(Yes my friend , I know I have not been as diligent lately.....sorry!)

Rarely ,as in almost never do I bore you or stir up anything related to politics or the news in general.

Today on the Ides of March,I must quote Shakespeare a bit...BEWARE!

Beware has nothing to do with this day or date.

It is a shout out to anyone who knows me that we are in the midst of some very troubling and dangerous times.

It has gotten to the point that I can no longer remain silent.

While I do not have a plan of action yet,I do know that I must start making people,anyone and everyone I know, aware of just how dangerous these times are.

The rise of anti semitism in this country has risen to a level that should frighten the hell out of every decent person in this country.

Outside of Israel itself, there is no place safer for the Jewish community than here in the United States.

Literally every other Jewish community around the globe is under siege and is experiencing treacherous, not just dangerous times.

The fact that our leaders in Washington did not have the intestinal fortitude to stand up and flat out condemn the hateful rhetoric and inflammatory words of an ignorant anti semite is disgusting as well as scary.

After the mass shooting at the synagogue in Pittsburgh, the politicians in Washington who represent New Jersey were quick to get their pictures and names in the newspapers as they pretended to show concern for the Jewish community.

Where are these same hypocrites today?

Maybe their agenda was more about gun control then any concern for my community.

I have listened over the last 2 plus years as time and time again, some moron has made direct references to another politician equating them to Hitler and the Nazi party.

It's disgusting.

It's even more disgusting that at the same time they can not see that what they are afraid or don't care to condemn, is the same hate that grew and swelled and led to the death of 6 million Jews in Germany.

It has to be called out.

It has to stop.

Do not conflate anti semitism with any other "ism" or hate speech.

It is an animus unto itself that must be condemned in no uncertain terms.

There can be no turning the other cheek in this case.

I have often heard "be the bigger man and walk away".

Bull S#!T!

When you are the bigger man you have the might and the responsibility to hit back harder so that no one will ever hit you again.

As I said, I don't write like this very often.

I try to keep these things to myself.

Today this is not a possibility.

Today I would be untrue to myself if I didn't share this with you.

I also said I don't know what my action plan around this will be.

I do know that this is my first step.

Shabbat Shalom.

Sometimes I just don't get people............

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought."

~ Matsuo Basho

About 2 years ago, the senior center that I drive the bus for decided to add a Sunday program.

Obviously, transportation was going to be a key component to this offering.

The director of the program asked me if I would be available to help out.

I told her that I would have to check with my wife and get back to her.

At that time, Susan and I were driving to South Jersey every Sunday to visit her parents.

We managed to work things out,knowing we had the option of using another driver once a month or so giving me the opportunity to take a day to accompany Susan on her weekly treks.

That was until we had to transport a wheelchair every week.

The other available driver does not have a CDL and can only drive the van, not the bus. Hence, if I don't drive, her she doesn't get to go to the program

So for the last 13 months, I work every Sunday (except for the 2 Sundays I am away at trade shows).

During those 13 months, approximately 50 Sundays, I have had the occasion to be in direct contact with my passengers daughter no less than 8 times, probably more than a dozen.

Not once, in all of those encounters did I get so much as a "Hi ....I'm the daughter."

I certainly have never heard a "gee, I would just like to say thanks for the care you take in transporting my mom".

It just amazes me.

I know, this may seem like an isolated instance, but I have to tell you, she's not the only one to do this.

Thank you seems to be missing from the vocabulary of a lot of people I come in contact with.

That makes me sad.

Really sad..

Like I said at the top,sometimes I just don't get people.

Shavua Tov!

Fake News, No News and Real News

“Good plans shape good decisions. That’s why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true.”

Lester R. Bittel

The snow had barely stopped falling on Monday when the news anchors started reporting the bitter cold that was on its way.

All night Monday and into Tuesday's news came reports of this arctic blast that was about to cripple the entire region.

Fake News!

Yes. it's cold outside.

It was 16 degrees when I left for work this morning.

However, it wasn't a bitter cold.

It wasn't bone chilling.

It was cold.

That my friends is No News!

It's March and I live in the Northeast.

Gee......cold weather in New Jersey in early march.

News?

No News!

It's called Winter.

News would be if it was 85 degrees.

Now that would be newsworthy.

Real news.

I really have lost all of my patience listening to these reporters.

It's winter in New Jersey. That means snow.

That means cold.

That means ice.

If you think that's news I'm sorry, you're just stupid!

Fat Tuesday

“You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

~ A.A. Milne

My desk calendar tells me that today is Fat Tuesday.

You may know Fat Tuesday as Mardi Gras.

It is the culmination of the festive period starting with 3 Kings Day just before the start of the lenten period (Ash Wednesday).

My calendar wasn't the only reminder that today is Fat Tuesday.

So was my scale!

After my triumphant day yesterday of avoiding senseless binge eating, I stepped on the scale this morning and found that I had gained 2.2 pounds from the morning before.

Seriously,I gained 2.2 pounds on a day in which I consumed approximately 600 calories.

Such is my life!

After years of doing this program, a gain like this no longer freaks me out.

I will admit that it is a little disheartening,but seriously only a little.

Throughout the day,the number on the scale serves as a reminder to drink enough water, eat clean, I mean really clean and not get down on myself.

This is not a race or contest. There is no goal or end game. It's just how I lead my life.

One day at a time.

Today.

Hayom!

Today was an angry day....................

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."

Booker T. Washington

Today started out annoyed and quickly grew into angry.

Late last night, I received a phone call advising me that we would not be running the busses today.

Great!

Another day's pay out the window.

The Governor (being the sissy that he is) had declared a snow emergency earlier in the day on Sunday,around 2 pm.

Of course ,it didn't start snowing until 7 and the predictions ranged anywhere from 3-7 inches of snowfall, all ending by 5 am.

In my eyes, plenty early enough for the roads to be cleared.

But I digress.....

While checking my bank balances, something I do every morning, I noticed that I had inadvertently sent a payment meant for my health insurance to the wrong insurance carrier.

I raced over to the bank only to find that alas, the check had cleared and I would now have to deal with a) getting a refund and b) covering my health insurance premium and hoping that there was no issue as I was now almost a week late in payment.

Then there it was time to deal with a vendor who for the last 20 years has just not listened .

After a half a dozen emails back and forth, I threw my hands up and decided enough is enough.

Adding insult to injury,I did get a text message from someone at the center where I drive, that my 1 afternoon pickup was still on for the day.

Really?

You expect me to drop what I am doing, drive 25 minutes to get my bus to drive for 1 hour and then drive home for 25 minutes. Oh sure....I'm gonna do that.

(Yeah, I did the pickup but I used my Jeep).

It was a day that just seemed filled with annoying little distractions and discomforts that left me feeling agitated.

Now, here's the good news.

In the past,agitated equaled shove food in your mouth. It didn't matter what.

Just keep shoving.

That didn't happen today.

In fact, I actually missed 2 of my 4 meals.

Okay don't get crazy....2 of my meals consist of eating an apple.

It's just past 8 pm.

I ate dinner a short while ago, finishing up at around 7.

I certainly am not hungry now and I won't eat anything after 9.

So the win is I may have avoided that senseless gorging that in the past accompanied agitation.

I guess that means I had a pretty good day then!

March Word of the Month

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.”

~ Maya Angelou

March Word of the Month

DISCIPLINE

A: control gained by enforcing obedience or order

B: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior

C: SELF-CONTROL

So why the word DISCIPLINE for my March word of the month?

Simple.

I believe that it's a missing component in my life.

Today, as I do most Sunday's, I woke up early (around 6) , got dressed and dragged my sorry butt to the gym.

My cousin and I have been doing this for just about 5 years now.

To be honest, without knowing that he will be pulling up in front of my house and beeping his horn, I would definitely roll over and stay in bed.

Instead, it's the one day a week that I make the effort to workout.

This is a far cry from the 5-6 days a week I was working out 2 years ago.

Where has that commitment to myself gone?

Lack of DISCIPLINE.

It's not that I have no discipline.

My food protocols are fairly well maintained.

I wouldn't consider them rigid, but I can honestly say that I maintain a pretty healthy diet.

However, I haven't had the same DISCIPLINE when it comes to working out.

The same is true when it comes to my writing.

There was a time when I would never miss a day, never mind 2 or 3 or more in a row.

When I Think about my lack of DISCIPLINE in regards to these things, I become very judgemental of myself.

I view this, and probably unfairly, as a lack of character.

When I don't make the effort to maintain that DISCIPLINE, I feel like I am turning my back on the commitment I have made to myself.

What's worse is that when I abandon the commitment I had made to myself, I feel as if I am letting others down as well.

It is an unfair standard to impose on myself, yet I do it anyway.

I can and have, made all kinds of excuses.

I don't have time.

I'm not feeling up to it.

I'm tired.

I'm too busy.

All B.S.!

It's a lack of DISCIPLINE and that lays squarely in one place.

On my shoulders.

The definition of commitment is doing something after the mood in which you first said you would do it has left you.

Commitment takes DISCIPLINE.

DISCIPLINE=STRENGTH.

Guess what a lack of DISCIPLINE equals!

Shavua Tov!