Fear of Success

“If you're not working hard and having fun at the same time, you are not performing at your best”

~ Peter McLaughlin

Often in life ,people do not attempt things due to a fear of failure.

The uncertainty of the outcome is a huge deterrent for many.

For others, the safety of not venturing forward ,keeps them stagnant.

The fear of failure can be paralyzing.

This has never been the case for me .

In the words of Gene Kranz, mission director for Apollo 13 "Failure is not an option!"

Failure isn't a word I use.

It's just not a part of my vocabulary.

I am however starting to wonder if I suffer from the complete opposite,a fear of success.

Here's what I know.

I'm pretty damn good at most everything I set out to do.

When I set out to accomplish something, it gets done.

And it gets done well.

Mediocrity is as unacceptable in my world as failure.

I am completely aware of just how good I am.

I see results all around me.

I am aware of the impact I have on others.

I see how when confronted with crisis,chaos and calamity I can restore calm and create opportunity.

I was reminded of this yesterday.

My friend, frat brother and mentor Doug Smith reprinted my email yesterday on his blog.

It then appeared on Facebook.

Another fraternity brother and dear dear friend, then made comment to it in his inimitable way .

Between the honor of the posting and the response from my friend Tom, my chest pumped up with pride.

Not the boastful or braggadocious sort of pride.

The pride of knowing that I had done a good job.

But (and you know how much I hate the word but!) I was left wondering what has held me back from achieving more?

What has prevented me from walking with the likes of a John Maxwell, a Darren Hardy or any of the others I admire?

Why has my phone never rung when someone is looking for that special someone to be part of their team?

Why has life been a struggle instead of a victory parade?

I am beginning to think that I have a fear of success.

Success would mean that I would have to openly acknowledge all that I am and all that I have accomplished.

Success would mean I might have to let people in.

Success would mean I might have to accept compliments, thank you's and accolades, all of which make me very uncomfortable.

Success would mean I might have to actually live up to keeping the promise that I make to myself daily....to be better each and every day.

If in fact failure is not an option in my life, then shouldn't it stand to reason that the only option is to be successful?

This is quite a conundrum.

It's often what keeps me up at night staring at the ceiling.

At times,I really am perplexed by this.

And maybe , just maybe, someday I will figure it out.

Shabbat Shalom!