What's in today's lesson?

I am a little out of sorts today and a bit of of my game. Try as I may to overcome this, I seem to keep stumbling over myself. My gait is off when I walk. My mood is just shy of energetic. I have sent a number of emails over the last 24 to 48 hours that have not been responded to leaving me in limbo on many items. I fear in one email that I sent today I offended a friend . All of these little tidbits have left me feeling unsure of myself and ultimately unsettled.
My work day is winding down. I do have a meeting to attend this evening which will prolong my day. All of this has left me very uncomfortable in my own skin. The good news is I am not taking out on the pantry. I am not foraging in the kitchen looking for a sedative to shove in my mouth. Instead I find myself actually having to address these feelings and finding some way to either overcome them or just let them go.
This is no easy feat.A bag of chips or pretzels would be much easier. Maybe a bowl of popcorn....or a can of nuts?
Anything would be better than sitting here and dealing with my feelings!
Alas, the sad part is I know better than to head into the kitchen in search of some magic meal to put all my stresses at rest.I will just have to work through it all.
I do miss the good old remedies.
A bowl of pasta.
A couple of slices.
Maybe some hummus and crackers.
Maybe all of the above!
Instead, I'll put up a pot of coffee.
I'll have an apple.
And maybe I will find a quiet spot to sit and reflect . Breath and compose myself.
If I had a bit more time, maybe hit the gym,however that does not seem to be in the cards for now.
These feelings of uncertainty that are swirling about are discomforting at the least, frustrating and even more,a bit debilitating. 
I know there is a lesson in all of this. I know eventually there will be a positive take away. That does not make my current place of being any easier.
You now what they say!
If it was easy, every one would do it!

Starting over is a lot harder than it seems!

Saying I am going to get back to all of those things I had been doing when I was so successful and actually doing them are 2 different realities.My thoughts and my actions are not exactly on the same wave length yet.
And that's okay.
Punishing myself or beating myself up over this disconnect would and could be harmful. Acknowledging it and making another attempt is much more productive. Eventually I will find my way. 
A few weeks ago, we had a house guest....I guess he was 10 or 11. My son Max showed him a video game which was a puzzle solving game. Time and time again, our little guest came upon the same task and over and over again, he would succumb to the pitfalls and his character would get killed.Over and over, boulders would crush him, branches would impale him, things would decapitate him or monsters would destroy him. As he would regroup and make another attempt ,we would all start laughing knowing that his fate was inevitable.1,2, 3 ,4 attempts at the same event and always the same outcome. Until,there was a different outcome. Once he had figured out how to navigate the obstacle, he simply was able to move on....to the next pitfall, where once again he would fail more often than not. It was great fun.He never got frustrated.We would howl with laughter as his character met his demise repeatedly and cheer loudly when he finally figured out the correct maneuver that allowed him to move on.
The game is called Limbo. If you play video games this one is a keeper!
The whole experience resonates with me.I feel like the little character in the game. I find myself in limbo as I wend my way along this part of my Journey. 
And it's okay.
I just keep at it until I figure out the next move.I remind myself that every time I fail or every time I do not succeed, it is just another opportunity for me to try again.And no matter whether I move on or start over, constantly reminding myself that life is a game and I am supposed to have fun at it!

Spring Training!

Late last week, we began the 30 day period of preparation for Passover. I bet you didn't know that Jews have their own version of Spring training!It's true. As a kid, my Mom always was looking ahead to the next holiday . Passover is one of the 2 times in the year that we prepare 30 days in advance. Coincidentally, this all seems to coincide with my plans for my personal preparation for my next evolution.The timing could not be more appropriate.In Hebrew we say it is beshert.....meant to be. 
The Rabbi actually spoke about this very subject this past Saturday. In our homes, we start preparing, cleaning and getting rid of the chametz, those things that we do not partake in, during Passover. In our lives, it is also a good time to clean our spiritual selves our emotional selves and our moral selves.This preparation takes time and a lot of effort. The build up has affected and touched every corner and crevice in our lives. Cleaning it all, preparing the way, making sure we rid ourselves of all that is unwanted takes an extraordinary amount of diligence,patience and commitment.
If you have ever had the pleasure of spending Passover with the Spiegel's you know that the effort is worth it. The house feels different. It looks different. It absolutely glows during those 8 days.
This is what I have to look forward to in my personal life. The plan is in place. The preparation, the next 30 days, are very important. I am considering putting personal training at the gym on hold until the 30 days are up, continuing to work out on my own. There are a lot of pieces that I will bring together over the next 4 weeks. And all the while, the excitement builds. 
Just like the period between Purim and Passover it is a busy time., filled with the joy of what I will experience next.
It's all very exciting!

To Thine Own Self Be True!

After writing to you on this past "How Am I Doin' Friday", I spent a lot of time asking myself that question over and over again.The bottom line for me is that while I appear to be doing just fine, I am not doing as well as it seems. I have spent a lot of time energy and resources over the last few weeks on bringing one aspect my life back to steady grounds. It has been challenging to say the least and has diverted my attention from many other spheres of my world. Now looking back, I see that the compound effect of my choices and actions has taken its toll on me. While I have done an admirable job of beginning the process of reconstructing the waste land that this one part of my life had become, I have not invested anything in the rest of me. Many of the good habits that I have incorporated along the way on my Journey, have been set aside . The excuses are many.
" I am to Busy!".
"I don't have the time!"
I can only do so much!"
"My attention is needed here not there!"
All legitimate comments, however in my world excuses are just unacceptable!
While each and every one of those comments may have been true in that moment, today's truth is that I have decided to pay more attention to those things that I have temporarily let slip away from my daily routine.
Now I realize , like a diet or an exercise program or any other change in my life , it is not as simple as picking up where I left off.Trust me.....the first day back at the gym can be a humbling if not humiliating experience.
I am well aware of just how much I have neglected and the effort and commitment it will take to bring it all back.It will not happen overnight.An action plan to reintroduce these practices must be implemented. The key words are plan....and action!Planning without action is daydreaming. Action without a plan is a recipe for failure.
What are these opportunities?
My health, my diet,my workouts,my commitment to personal growth, my writing, my gratitude, and my quest for a life of significance.
I have been so focused on one part of my life,I have forgotten about my personal mission ....a life of intentional living .
So it's back to basics today,starting with a list. First the short term goals. Next the intermediate goals. All of them building to what my mentor Darren Hardy calls the BHAG's.(Big Hairy Audacious Goals)!
I can't do 6 5k's this year without doing 1. I can't do one without getting back to walking. I can't find time to walk without committing to a plan where I make time for me.
Today, I start ......once again, one day at a time , one step at a time, one action at a time, to bring back the good habits that have become so important to me.
I must acknowledge that I am doing this without judging myself for having put them aside in the recent past. What's done is done....history...behind me!
Yesterday ended at midnight and today is a new beginning!
A new opportunity.
And every opportunity can only become a possibility when I make conscious choices, conscious efforts , to make them happen!
Shavua Tov!

How am I doing on this "How Am I doin' Friday"?

Great question!
I am neither sad nor happy. I am not up nor am I down. My energy level certainly is not high yet I have already accomplished quite a number of chores and tasks.I feel okay, not great. not terrible. Some lingering aches ,a bad finger which I have to say is excruciatingly painful and a little "something" on my foot that occasionally makes my first few steps a bit tender.Nothing that has me incapacitated, just a little slower and kind of annoying.
Being Good Friday, the roads are empty. Even the Supermarket was empty.Many of my vendors are closed today and I have already found out that although my customers are open, the owners may not always be there today.It feels like Fedex who has been here twice already,and myself are the only people working today!
Even my clients are slacking off. Normally by 7 a.m. I have a couple of dozen text messages. Today there were 2! They have been dribbling in throughout the morning,but the count is way off.
It's drizzling now. The skies are grey. The air has a cold dampness to it.
Are you getting the picture?
So the good news is.....the planning board went well last night. Becca was a rock star as she laid out our plans and fielded all questions they threw at her.The Grooming Shoppe Inc. will be open for business sometime in the next few weeks!
I have a 2 pm conference call scheduled for today. I have a 4:30 meeting to attend. In between 2 more errands to run and some loose ends to tie up before the weekend.
So that is how I will spend my day today. I will not try to create something from nothing. I will not try to fill the void in the vacuum. I will simply move through the day,hopefully clear the clutter and then prepare for next week.And that will be more than just good enough.
 It will be absolutely perfect!

Shabbat Shalom!

1 Step forward!

I often used to complain that my life was 1 step forward ....2 steps back. It was truly a defeatist way to look at life. To be perfectly honest, life is not and has not been with out set backs or stumbles. However, if I am really honest, it is more like 2 steps forward 1 step back or even 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Net result is that in the big picture , I am always moving forward. There are days when it just doesn't feel that way. There are times when I say,how did I end up back here again?When I do end up on the back side of the pendulum swing, it is never quite the same place that I had left it. It can't be. Primarily since having been there before, I have already visited that p[lace. I now have the knowledge resources and skills to deal with it . It is no longer strange,unfamiliar or foreign to me.That place has therefore been transformed,so you see I am never back in the same old place.Not only has the place been transformed, I have been as well.
I just took a phone call from a colleague on the West Coast.Mid conversation, I found myself complaining about this vendor and that vendor. I heard myself say"Geez...why do these guys make it so tough on us? Why don't they understand what we do and just let us do our job?".
That brief moment of negativity is what I continue to work on removing from my life. Yes the challenges exist. Yes, the other parties involved still will be who they will be. My response and my reaction to them is the only variable that I have any control of.The better I can become at how I show up in these conversations, the more opportunity I have to making life 2 steps forward, then 1 more forward and then 1 more.
The only way to climb a staircase is to put one foot in front of the other and head up hill!Looking back to where I came from serves little purpose. Staring at the tippy top and wondering how do I get there? Just as pointless. Looking at the next step, lifting my leg and reaching for it.....as the commercial says....priceless!

"Is your lack of success due to reasons, or is it due to excuses?"

This is the question that was posed to me in my daily motivational quote.It's a great question. I remember when my dad passed away, I shared this sentiment with my friend John when he paid a shiva call. He asked"so what's next for you?". My response was ,"John, now we find out if dad was my reason for being stuck or my excuse!".16 years later,here's what I know. In either case it does not matter. We all have reasons. We all have excuses. We also have the power to change the course of our own destiny.
By the time my day ended yesterday I was pretty despondent.All of the good positive energy that I felt building in me over the weekend seemed to have been let out.If you can imagine a balloon filled with air,it was not like somebody just popped it. Instead, it felt like when you hold the open end and let the air out slowly. You know that annoying sound that it makes as the air squeezes through the open end and your fingers. That's how my day felt. By the time night fall came, my balloon of energy was empty and that annoying noise lingered in my head.I went to bed feeling beat up and kicked around.Much like a flattened balloon I felt limp and useless.I opted to not sit and write last night. It would have been forced and uninspired.Instead, I ate crap I really didn't need or want, once again resorting to behaviors that sedated me in the past.Which led to eventually beating myself up some more ,recreating that same old vicious cycle.
Today a new day is here. I struggled with what to wear today. Yesterday, instead of donning my work uniform (dress shirt and tie) I chose to wear a sweatshirt. It was warm and comfortable. Today, I thought that might be nice as well. I planned to be at my desk all day. I had no intentions of leaving my works pace or seeing anyone today.I took out a dress shirt. I hung up that same dress shirt. I found a nice fleece hoodie. I threw it back on the pile and went back to the closet. I took down the fore mentioned shirt, walked into my room, walked back to the closet and hung it back up. I did this 3 or 4 more times before finally deciding to stick with the plan. I am working today.....the shirt and tie goes on!
Period!
Next I committed to getting back to what got me here. After cleaning out my emails, after answering my first few barrages of texts,after putting up dinner, and after following up on a few phone calls, I cleared everything else off of my desk and sat down to write.My time! My space! My life!
No excuses. No reasons. Nothing mattered . It was with in my power to choose what I wanted for me. I wanted to write to you. 
That's it....That's all I've got today!
Now I can get on with the rest of my day.
I put on my shirt and tie. I decided to take control. I made the choice to write. 
Now its Hi Ho time.
Hi Ho hi-ho....it's off to work we go!

(I bet that will be stuck in your head the rest of the day!)