When it's hot it's hot!

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”

Marcel Proust

When temperatures climb to nearly 100 degrees,the word EFFORT takes on a new meaning.

Everything you do takes an extra EFFORT.

Climbing in and out of the bus,walking down the street,going to the store all come with the burden of the oppressive unrelenting temperature.

Even driving the bus takes more EFFORT. The blazing sun and high temps superheat the windows and windshield making it feel like I am in a sauna.

As much as I have committed to add more effort to the things I do on a daily basis, I am mindful that this heat is no joke.

So I move just a little slower than I would like to.

I drink more water.

I make calculated choices .....like do I really need to shop today or can it wait until this heat breaks a bit.

For me,doing too much on 100 degree days is more important than many of the other precautions we have all added to our lives during the Covid 19 era.

This isn't an excuse to not put forth extra EFFORT.

On the contrary,it actually makes me more mindful and attentive to where my EFFORT is directed.

July Word of the Month

Effort

1: conscious exertion of power : hard work

2: a serious attempt : TRY

3: something produced by exertion or trying

4: the total work done to achieve a particular end

My July word of the Month is EFFORT.

If I want to be better,all it takes is EFFORT.

I'm not talking about a huge ,move mountain type of EFFORT.

More like a "how about a little bit of EFFORT",EFFORT.

Over the last few months it has become way to easy to not pt in the EFFORT.

In the early days of the quarantine, when the grocery stores and markets were a madhouse and those of us over 65 were dissuaded from participating in the world at large,, others shopped for me. That was easy.

It also contribute the beginning of this lazy stage of my life.

If you haven't heard me mention this in the past, I hate wearing masks.

I know,shocking revelation huh!

So when someone else offered to do things for me,yep,you got it,more lazy.

Lazy started to creep into every aspect of my life.

All of my good habits quickly fell to the ayside,without me really being all that aware of just how far off track I was going.

And all of this is due to a lack of EFFORT on my part.

My aha moment just now was maybe it's time for me to re-read The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy.

My current state of affairs is a direct result of the compound effect of lazy choices .

I didn't go on a binge of any sort.

I just made easy small choices in the wrong direction which day after day,week after week and now month after month , have taken me way off course.

There is no doubling back.

I don't have a magic transporter that would allow me to push a button and poof, zoom me back to a better place. The only way back is to make a conscientious choice to make an EFFORT .

When I finish writing, instead of opening Youtube or Facebook on my computer, get off my ass and walk around a bit.

Garbage can getting a bit full?

Instead of trying to squeeze more in, get off my ass and go get empty into the trash.

Need something from the store?

Go get it (even if it means putting on that stupid mask for 10 minutes).

As I sit here in my family room,I can see how a lack of EFFORT can have a huge effect on the status quo.

Pick up the throw pillow that fell on the floor,even though it's just as easy to walk past it.

Make a pile of yesterday's and the day before's and the day before that's newspaper. Even better, tak them all,puthem in a bag and take them to the recycling center.

A little EFFORT makes a huge difference.

Just that simple.

And if you do it enough, it actually becomes a habit,even EFFORTLESS.

Shabbat Shalom!

How'm I doin' Friday

“Never regret a day in your life. Good days bring you happiness and bad days give you experience.”

Unknown

It's been quite some time since I've done a How Am I Doing Friday.

Like many others, this quarantine has had some adverse effects on me and it is time to address them.

My weight is an issue.

My health is not great.

I have become sedentary.

My emotional well being isn't at an all time high for sure.

Mentally I don't feel as sharp as I would like to be.

I am not as motivated as I normally am.

I certainly don't feel challenged or excited about anything.

And my hair and beard are out of control!

So it's time to do something about all of this.

For starters,on Monday I will go back on program.

It's just time.

Committing myself to do this has already had a positive effect on my general mood.

I need to start moving more, that's for sure.

I think if I can a) get on program and b) start moving around more,a lot of the other stuff will start to change as well.

That doesn't mean I'm getting a haircut,however, I may trim my mustache just a bit.

I'll let you know next week how all of this is going. In the meantime...have a great weekend!

Shabbat Shalom!

I want to be upbeat,but...........

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

It was a nice cool Summer morning today. For the first time in weeks, I was able to drive the first 1/2 hour of my day with the window open.

The humidity was low and there was just enough grey in the sky to shield me from the Sun which has been a challenge lately.

This made for an enjoyable start to my day.

By the time I loaded today's meal deliveries onto the bus, things heated up enough to make me decide to close the windows and turn on the a/c.

Still, the pleasant start bode well for a nice day.

That is until I listened to a voicemail from my cousin's friend. She was struggling coping with Barry's last few days.

She and another friend had been in contact with him going into the weekend.

He had developed an upper respiratory infection. For someone with his comorbidities, this was very serious.

He fought with them and initially ignored their pleas for him to seek medical attention.

Ultimately, an ambulance was called for and on Saturday he was admitted to the hospital.

Alone.

All alone.

They tried calling him later that day.

Nothing.

They tried again on Sunday.

Nothing.

Monday.

Nothing .

Tuesday.

Nothing.

Hours after hour, day after day, they had no idea.

And all of that time he was alone.

Nothing can be more unnerving to me.

So much for my pleasant day.

Cousin Barry Died

“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.”

Martin Luther King Jr.

As I was checking my emails this morning, I came across one from my Cousin Barry's ex-girlfriend informing me that he had passed away yesterday.Not exactly the thing you want to deal with at 6:30 in the morning.

To be candid,Barry and I were not close.

He was family.

From my dad's side of the family, he and his sister are the only immediate family that I had.

We were never close.

He was invited and included in any family events.

There was always a seat for him at our table for holidays.

He was always invited to family gatherings.

He would call occasionally when he needed a place to stay for a night or two.

Other than that, I rarely saw him, particularly after he left the NY area and moved to Georgia a few years ago.

Occasionally he would pop up on a Facebook feed.

He often would post videos as he drove the highways and byways.

No audio.

Just a video of his view from the driver's seat.

I have no sense of loss around this.

As I said, we were not close.

I am unsettled on a very personal and selfish level.

Barry was a year younger than I am.

He died alone.

He had a family, an ex wife and two daughters with who he had absolutely no contact.

He has a grandchild as well as a son-in-law who he never met.

what little he leaves behind does not amount to much.

That indelible mark that I am always striving to create never was a part of his life and is evidenced by the lack of any footprint he has left behind.

There won't be a funeral, at least not one that resembles any I have been to.

No eulogy,not that I know who would deliver one.

No mourners per se.

There's an apartment somewhere in Georgia that will have to be emptied.

I couldn't tell you what he leaves behind.

Belongings?

A legacy?

In a year where I am celebrating "Keep Telling The Stories" , I am unaware of any of his meaningful ones.

My selfishness?

I am deathly afraid of ever being that alone.

I am deathly afraid of leaving behind so little.

I am deathly afraid of hurting those I will leave behind.

I am even more afraid of losing all of the people in my life.

I am afraid of dying alone like he did.

His videos are haunting me today.

Alone,in his car, traveling a road to nowhere.

Traveling with no one.

No sounds. Just the road ahead.Leading to nowhere in particular.

This really makes me sad.

No more pizza!

"There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them.

But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there."

Paulo Coelho

During this Covid Quarantine,one of the ways we have maintained a sense of normalcy has been to have a pizza night.

Born first out of necessity when getting to a supermarket or grocery store was a task unto itself,pizza night became a nice break in the week.

When we were in full lock down, it seemed like I was either preparing a meal,serving a meal or cleaning up from a meal.

Ordering in for one meal was a rel treat.

We also felt we were doing our part to keep those small business owners and their employees working.

Seemed like a win/win for all.

We learned quickly that there must be a whole lot of others who felt the same way as waiting times were growing weekly.

An hour and a half was becoming the norm to wait,and that was for pick-up.

Delivery?

If you wanted pizza at 7, you better order before 5!(Not that I ever chose delivery.....that's just stupid and asking for cold food!).

As the weeks wore on,we started to notice that in response to the overwhelming demand for their service, quality of product has become a casualty.

The first time it happened,I wanted to say something to the owner.

My family suggested that maybe it was just a bad night and to not make an issue over it. The next week, not only was quality an issue, but the size of the pie seemed significantly smaller.

Week 3 and things continued to spiral downward.

We decided to switch pizza parlors.

In fact we decided to try a few different ones,giving each a 2 week trial period searching for our new "favorite" pizza joint.

None have stood out. They have all had their pluses and minuses.

So we continued shopping.

Last night we gave another local business a second chance.

The first time the food was good however being unfamiliar with their menu we found that we had not ordered enough.

This time,having studied the menu a bit more, we tried again.

The food was good,(notice I keep saying good not great or spectacular)

The 30 minute wait turned into an hour.

Once again, we did not get what we ordered and the final blow was when I checked to see how much went on my debit card I was blown away.

I can feed my crew for 3 or 4 nights on that amount!

I'm done.

No more pizza.

Sorry Mr. Small Business person.

If I am stepping up to support you, you should find a way to acknowledge that in the service and product you provide.

And that's my rant for this Sunday morning.

Shavua Tov!

Just when..............

"Life is really simply, but we insist on making it complicated."

~ Confucious

I have heard "them" say that success is just around the corner from the day you quit.

Maybe I should pay attention to "them".

After writing about civics and civility the other day, I found myself questioning why it is that I continue to write.

While attending to my daily early morning routine the next day, I actually said to myself,maybe it's time to just quit.

5 minutes later, as I was checking my emails which I do everyday first thing in the morning, I found an email from one of my fraternity brothers waiting for me.

It simply read "Put this one in the "Best of" folder!"

So much for quitting!

Oddly enough, on a day when I felt that I had lost my way in regards to why and what I write,I had multiple responses from all corners of the globe.

Kind of weird.

Earlier in the week, I had received an email from person who developed the online Mindfulness course that I have been struggling to finish.

He was launching a new project.

I couldn't help to understand just how much he has put into making this his life's calling. I was more that just impressed by all of the work he had to put in, all of the sacrifices he had to make,and the level of commitment he has had to create his brand.

It's all of that which is the difference between himself and me.

I just haven't been that committed. I haven't had that drive.

I haven't found that focus.I haven't been willing to make those sacrifices.

It's why I believed I should just quit.

Obviously if I am writing today, I have not just given up.

I know that it is highly unlikely that I will wake up one day and poof,like that, will have found the illuminated path that will lead me to where I might want to go.

Instead, I will continue to make my way through the thickets. If I stop,I will never get anywhere.

So as long as I keep moving forward,who knows.

Eventually I may find my way. Shabbat Shalom!