Just Let Go

"Laugh when you can,

apologize when you should,

and let go of what you can't change. Life's too short to be anything... but happy."

Anonymous

When September rolled around, I clenched my fists and braced myself to deal with the changes that were about to happen in my life.My part time (34 hours a week) bus driving job was now to be a full time salaried position (Boy did I make a bad deal!).

One of my other major income streams was going to disappear as of September causing all sorts of anxiety for me.In October there was a wedding,the Halloween season and the High Holidays not to mention a blown engine in my bus. November came in with a number of physical and health related challenges. All the while I continued to steady myself against these onslaughts ,ever ready to take on what ever was next to come at me.

Over the last few days,something has changed. Mostly my approach to this new and ever changing landscape. I have begun to just let go.

Relax.

Take a deep breath.

Smile!

I have unclenched my fists,as well as my teeth , and just let things run their course,making adjustments as they do.I have learned to set my sails to work with the changing winds not brace for a storm.

I've started to listen. I respond instead of over reacting.

I afford myself the opportunity to change those things that I can and to accept those things that I can not.

Remarkably, I am finding it much easier to breathe. I am also getting a better nights sleep.

When I finally trusted in myself to just let go, it's amazing how much better things seem to be.

I am more confident,affable and effective.

All because I just let go!

Reminds me of that old commercial...try it..you'll like it!

And it was good

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.

They must be felt with the heart.”

Helen Keller

Today we were treated to another snowfall.The weather here over the last 10 days or so has been challenging at times starting last Sunday with a wintry mix of rain.sleet, snow and ice. The last 48 hours featured rain ,rain and more rain. This morning, as the temperature dropped some 25 plus degrees,the snow began to fall leaving the ground and trees covered in a blanket of white.As I turned my bus into the drive at the end of my first run, a sense of calm and peace came over me. This calm started last Friday when I had my long overdue ME day. Little by little, I have been able to build on that ,culminating in this peaceful state that I found myself enjoying.

All I could think of in that moment was the biblical phrase "and he saw it was good".

This phrase appears 5 times in the book of Genesis,remarking on what had been created.

This is how I felt about my life this morning.

Looking at my life ,all that I have,all that I am blessed,all that I surrounds me, I smile and can honestly say that what I see is good!

Black Coffee

“As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others."

Robert H. Schuller

When I embarked on this leg of my Journey through life 6 years ago, one of the changes I made was how I take my coffee.I did away with cream and any type of sweetener.

Coffee....Black!That's it.Pour it from the the pot into my cup and I'm good to go.

The hotter,the better.

For no apparent reason, that changed over a month ago. I started adding half and half and a sweetener.Very weird.Or maybe not really.

Maybe it was a sign.A sign that I was out of control.

Last Friday was my first ME day in over 2 months.

With that 1 day, I managed to steady the ship and begin the process of regaining some semblance of order in my life.

Today another milestone in that process......back to black coffee!

And I feel so much better for it.

Something as simple as how I take my coffee.

I must remember to look for signs along the road on my Journey.

They're their.It's simply a matter of recognizing them.

No Quid Pro Quo

"Always speak of the past, gratefully. 

Of the future, excitedly. 

And of the present,with a Cheshire Grin"

-Notes from The Universe

No this has nothing to do with the nonsense we get bombarded with on the news lately.

I was having lunch with a dear friend from high school today. It seems that the last time we met up,which was just before the High Holidays, I had expressed my ambivalence towards the yom tovim and towards religion in general.This concerned my friend who is deeply and unequivocally vested in his religious beliefs.Prayer is a huge part of his life,which certainly is not the case in my life.

His concern for my spiritual well being became part of our conversation today. In fact it was a large part of it. After we said our goodbyes,I think he had a better understanding of where my head , if not my heart, is in regards to prayer, devotion and connecting with a higher power.

As I drove away, it occurred to me that my relationship with that higher power can best be summed up by the statement that between me and who or whatever that power is, there is no quid pro quo.

Quid pro quo is a favor or advantage granted or expected in return for something.

Prayer, to me, sounds like the ultimate example of just such an arrangement.

I am sure that this will set the hair of many people who I know, love and respect ablaze. So before the firestorm erupts,understand, this is about me., not you. I don't judge others who feel differently,and I hope that others will offer me the same latitude.

The arguments that come back to me often start with "if you are genuine in your prayer than the Lord's favors will be upon you".

Sounds like quid pro quo to me!

I just ,and I repeat I,me ,David,do not believe that it's supposed to work that way.

I am grateful for all that I have. I realize(most of the time) just how blessed I am.

When I disconnect from that knowledge,things often fall apart. When I reconnect to them, my days are sunnier and brighter.

So yes, I believe in an energy that grows inside of me from be grateful, gracious,kind,positive, and giving.I do this without any expectation of any payback of any kind.

No quid pro quo.

If for no other reason than the mere fact that with all of the other major crap in life, that higher power may have a lot more on his or her plate than waiting for me to say thanks or ask for anything for myself.

But hey, that's just me.

Blessings for a Shavua Tov!

Just Do You

"Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count, really count."

Albert Einstein

There are times when events seem to be more than mere coincidences.Take for an example my daily message from my mentor Darren Hardy yesterday. While talking about achieving success,he cautioned not to try and be like some successful person you may admire or respect. His message was clear, Just Do You!

After listening to his Darren Daily, I had what can only be described as an aha moment (Thanks Darren!) While I certainly have not been trying to emulate any one over the last few weeks, what I have been doing is a whole lot of "stuff" and very little (read NONE) of me.I have been getting alot of "stuff" done without spending any time doing David.Darren's message resonated loudly and clearly with me. Just Do You!

I have not been doing me at all.

Doing "stuff" takes time and energy.

Doing me is done with passion.

That has been the missing ingredient over the last few weeks, maybe months.Little by little ,over the past 24 to 48 hours, I have felt that spark come back to life.All it takes is one spark to start a fire. One spark and then a whole lot of care. Eventually, with the right amount of nurturing, that spark can become the fire that is needed to warm the soul and light the darkness.

This has been an awesome awakening for me.The smoke is starting to build. With the proper care,that smoke will become a spark and eventually maybe even a fire.

For now, I just need to keep tending that spark and keep doing me

Starting to feel like me again

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Fridays are my "me" day. I have the house to myself. Other than preparing shabbat dinner, I have no scheduled tasks. I use my Fridays to catch up on emails, paperwork, mail, bills and any loose ends that need attending to.

I have not had a Me Friday in 2 months, and to be honest with you, it is starting to take its toll on me.

I met with a friend and colleague today and he expressed the same thing about his life. We are both letting our lives lead us , not leading our own lives.

Barring any unforeseen events, when this Friday rolls around I will finally get that much needed me day.Not that my calendar is wide open on that day. I must get a physical for my CDL medical certificate. However once that is off of my plate, the rest of the day is mine.

The mere fact that I have already caught up on mail, email and bill paying through the middle of the month is a sign that I am starting to find my way out of the deepest parts of the woods.

Heaven forbid that I say this out loud, but I am actually finding little ways to take care of myself.

(Shocker I know!).

So much so that tonight I was able to design and order this years holiday mug and wristband.

That's a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Again, I still have some work to do to complete this years holiday offering , however, I now have Friday to wrap up the biggest part of what's left for me to do.

This is huge!

And very exciting as well.

Since the advent of the David Spiegel Holiday Mug Offering 3 years ago, this project has taken on a life of its own. It has also added a sense of purpose to my life.

When I visit friends and colleagues and family and co-workers and I see last years YOU MATTER mug or they are wearing the wristband,I get this really nice feeling.

When I see a Choose Happy mug from 2 years ago, I know I am with someone who is already anticipating this years offering.

My dream?

Someday my mug will rival the Hess truck as a holiday collectible.

(I should only be able to afford to do that!)

For the first time in a very long time I am starting to feel like me again.

And that my friends is a pretty darn good feeling!

(BTW...........I just saw my quote of the day.Coincidence or.Karma!)

Word of the Month -December

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

~ Charles Dickens

December Word of the Month

COACH

(Noun)

 a person who is responsible for managing and training a person or a team

A coach is also an expert who trains someone learning or improving a skill, esp. one related to performing

someone whose job is to provide training for people

 or to help prepare them for something

I don't particularly love any of the definitions that I found when I Googled COACH.

To me a COACH is someone who helps another person become the best version of themselves that they can be.

This weekend Susan and I watched McFarland,USA. In the film,Kevin Costner portrays a High School coach working in a very poor immigrant community. Being the white guy who really doesn't fit in, he faces all sorts of challenges , including winning the respect of his students.They call him "Homes"(as in homeboy), Blanco (meaning whitey) and by his last name White. There comes a transitional point in the movie where one of the more vocal team members ,responds to him and refers to him as Coach.

It's a touching and poignant moment.

Coach!

The title brings validation to all of his efforts

All that he and his family has sacrificed now had meaning.

This moment in time resonated strongly with me.

More than once in my life I have been "Coach".

To this day, I run into former players of mine,who still call me Coach when they see me. Players whose teams I coached decades ago.Time doesn't seem to matter to them. After all of the years that have passed, I am still Coach to them.

For me, I can't imagine a more endearing term.

The title is more than validation. It is edification. It raises me to a place of respect.

It reminds me that in some small way I had a role in them becoming the better versions of themselves.

I am both honored and humbled at the same time when I hear "hey Coach!"

Maybe that's why I was attracted to life coaching.

Maybe COACH is another part of my WHY?